The iconic Fantasy Island theme was composed by Laurence Rosenthal. Here’s an interpretation of it from Henry Mancini.
Monthly Archives: September 2025
Brad reviews LIONHEART (1990), starring Jean-Claude Van Damme!
As a teenager of the late 80’s, I became a huge fan of Jean-Claude Van Damme when I watched movies like BLOODSPORT (1988), CYBORG (1989), KICKBOXER (1989), and DEATH WARRANT (1990). He really seemed to be going big-time with movies like UNIVERSAL SOLDIER (1992), HARD TARGET (1993) and especially TIMECOP (1994). Unfortunately, through a variety of problems, including a reportedly uncontrollable ego, a seemingly never ending supply of gratuitous butt shots for the ladies, and potential drug issues, his star would begin to wane in the mid-1990’s and he’d soon find his career heading the wrong direction. Through it all though, I’ve always loved Van Damme, and I still like to watch his movies (both new and old) to this day. One of the films that he made in his prime was LIONHEART (1990). I remember renting the movie as soon as it became available at our local video store, and even though I don’t hear it spoken of often these days, it’s always been one of my favorite films of the so-called “Muscles from Brussels!”
LIONHEART stars Van Damme as Lyon Gaultier, a French Foreign Legionnaire who deserts his post in North Africa after finding out that his drug addict brother, who lives in Los Angeles, has been set on fire and is barely clinging to life. Determined to help his brother’s family, Lyon goes AWOL and hops a boat to the United States of America. Unfortunately, Lyon finds himself stranded in New York with no money, until he stumbles across an underground street fight. With the connections of a hustler named Joshua (Harrison Page) and a sexy fight organizer named Cynthia (Deborah Rennard), Lyon’s talent in the ring allows him to make the money he needs to go to L.A. When he finally makes it to the west coast, his brother has passed away, leaving huge medical bills for his wife Helene (Lisa Pelikan) and young daughter, Nicole (Ashley Johnson). Continuing to fight in the underground market in L.A. to provide funds for his sister-in-law, Lyon takes on increasingly dangerous opponents, including the savage Attila (Abdel Qissi) in a high-stakes fight that could settle his family’s financial problems for good… if it doesn’t kill him.
I mentioned earlier that I’m a big fan of LIONHEART. With that said, I can certainly see some flaws in the film. The performances aren’t all great. For example, Deborah Rennard is somewhat ridiculous as the sexy, duplicitous Cynthia. Her character is as cliched as it gets, even if she does look good in her see-through stockings. It’s also too long. Clocking in at almost an hour and fifty minutes, the film is at least twenty minutes too long. There are definitely scenes that could have been trimmed down to make for a more efficient movie. Flaws acknowledged, I watched it again today, and I still love the movie. Directed by Sheldon Lettich (DOUBLE IMPACT), LIONHEART delivers the goods as a badass, fight film with a heart. The action sequences drew me in with Van Damme’s athletic spins and kicks, but it also reminded me of my favorite film of all time, HARD TIMES (1975) starring Charles Bronson. In HARD TIMES, Bronson takes out a cocky bastard with one punch to the face. In LIONHEART, Van Damme takes out a cocky bastard with one punch to the nuts. Both films deliver final showdowns against awesome opponents that deliver brutal and satisfying climaxes to the action. And both films go for real emotion. In HARD TIMES, those relationships are limited to the men in Bronson’s life, but in LIONHEART, Lyon’s relationships with his friend Joshua, as well as his love for his niece and widowed sister-in-law really set the film apart. Van Damme isn’t a great actor at this point in his career, but there’s just something really appealing about his unconditional love for his family. He won me over with his earnest performance, and I was all in when everything comes to a head at the end. It was also fun seeing producer Lawrence Bender (PULP FICTION, ANNA AND THE KING, KILL BILL) cameo in an early fight scene as a doofus with a pony tail who gets his ass handed to him by Van Damme. That’s just fun movie stuff.
Playing on Amazon Prime as I type, I easily recommend LIONHEART to any person who likes Van Damme or action films of the 80’s and 90’s. It may be as cheesy as hell, but in my opinion, it’s one of the star’s best films.
Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 7.8 “Random Choices/My Mommy, The Swinger”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.
This week, we have two more fantasies that do not feature Tattoo. What even is the point?
Episode 7.8 “Random Choices/My Mommy, The Swinger”
(Dir by Bob Sweeney, originally aired on December 3rd, 1983)
Elaine Ashley (Florence Henderson) is divorced and raising two kids on her own. Her fantasy is to be a swinger for the weekend! Mr. Roarke arranges for Lawrence to watch the kids and then he sets Elaine up with tennis player Martin Avery (Robert Goulet). While Lawrence attempts to explain to the kids why their mother doesn’t want them around for the weekend, Martin offers Elaine a job. It’s a good job with a nice salary but it would require her to put her children in a boarding school. On the plus side, I guess Elaine would finally get laid again since that seems to be her main concern. On the negative side, no more kids.
Elaine is tempted. In fact, Elaine is so tempted that it actually make her into a really unsympathetic character. At first, Elaine takes the job but then, when she sees how upset her children are about no longer living with her, she changes her mind. Hey, Elaine — how did you think the children would react!?
This fantasy irked me. Of course, to be absolutely honest about things, Florence Henderson irks me in general. Maybe I’m still holding the last episode of The Brady Bunch Variety Hour against her but, whenever Florence Henderson appeared on this show or on The Love Boat, the characters she played always came across as being judgmental and self-absorbed. That’s certainly the case here. You take your children to a tropical paradise and then you abandon them with the butler? Really?
As for the other fantasy, it featured Jose Ferrer as a dying billionaire who needed to find someone who he could trust to give away his money to people who deserved it. Roarke determined that person was Eddie Random (James Read), an angry young man who felt his father had been cheated by Ferrer’s tycoon. The entire fantasy came down to Eddie proving himself by taking supplies to an Island and helping a crotchety old man come to terms with the death of his wife.
This second fantasy felt like a backdoor pilot. It literally ended with Eddie and the billionaire leaving to have many more adventures. As such, the fantasy itself felt rather incomplete and …. well, silly. Why would the tycoon need Fantasy Island to help him find the right person to give away his money? Why does he even need a person to do that? He should have just arranged for a big scavenger hunt and whoever found the most items would get the money. That would have been a lot more fun.
You know who always enjoyed fantasies dealing with money? Tattoo. I miss him.
The Films of 2025: Snow White (dir by Marc Webb)
Let’s just get this out of the way.
Snow White is bad.
I’m not talking about the original Grimms’ Fairy Tale and I’m certainly not talking about the classic animated Disney film, which is one that always make me smile whenever I watch it. For that matter, I’m also not talking about the majority of the Snow White remakes that have come out over the years. (There’s been a surprisingly large amount.)
No, I’m talking about the live-action remake of the Disney animated film. This the Snow White that finally came out earlier this year, after being delayed a countless amount of times. If it wasn’t the SAG-AFTRA strike that delayed the film, it was the PR nightmares caused by Rachel Zegler’s inability to promote the film without hectoring everyone about her politics. Even before that, the film was controversial because of a photo from the set that people interpreted to mean that the seven dwarves had been replaced by seven people of average size. In Disney’s defense, it turned out that the people in the photo were not meant to be the Seven Dwarves. Instead, the Seven Dwarves were created via CGI, which turned out to be an even worse solution. (Though Peter Dinklage famously complained about Snow White being a “backwards story about seven dwarves living in a cave,” it’s also true that there are plenty of actors with dwarfism who probably would have appreciated the work.)
Whenever there’s a film that gets totally slammed online before it’s even released, there’s a part of me that always hopes that the film will prove the naysayers wrong and turn out to be a masterpiece. I wanted Snow White to be good just because the online vitriol often seemed to go overboard. For example, I may not have agreed with a lot of Rachel Zegler’s comments and I think it was selfish of her to drag her own personal politics into the promotion of a film that a lot of people worked on but I still think it’s important to be able to set aside those feelings when judging the actual film. People who insist that they can only celebrate films made by people that they agree with are truly limiting themselves.
I was determined to ignore all of the bad publicity and watch the film with an open mind. And the first few images made me smile. The film opens with a bunch of animals opening up a storybook and that was such a cute image that I was briefly optimistic. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is pretty bland. Rachel Zegler can sing and Rachel Zegler can dance but, at least as far as this film is concerned, she has absolutely zero screen presence. (For the record, I wasn’t really that impressed by her in West Side Story either.) As a character, Zegler’s Snow White is boring. The only person more boring than Zegler is Andrew Burnap as Jonathan, the bandit who is this film’s version of the original’s Prince. They both give boring performances and they’re saddled with boring songs and neither actor seems to be sure how they should perform opposite the CGI dwarves. (As for the CGI dwarves, they look like cartoons and they’re distracting in a way that could have been avoided by simply casting actual actors in the roles.)
I have to note that much of the online criticism of Snow White has been directed at Gal Gadot, who plays the Wicked Queen with the magic mirror. The online film community insists that Gal Gadot is a bad actress despite all of the evidence to the contrary. (Many of the people who insists on criticizing her now were the same people who swooned when she first played Wonder Woman. Of course, that was before most of them went down the activist rabbit hole.) Reading the criticism of Gadot, much of it seems to have less to do with Gadot’s performance and more to do with the fact that she’s from Israel. If you’re that much of an anti-Semite that you’re going to judge someone’s performance based on where they were born, I don’t really know what to tell you. Personally, I found Gadot to be one of the few bright spots of the film. She understood the assignment and she thoroughly embraces the melodrama as the Wicked Queen. Good for her. It’s exactly the type of performance that the film needed.
I opened this review by saying that Snow White was bad and I stand by that. That said, it’s main sin is that it’s so bland that it’s not even enjoyably bad. After all the drama that went into the production, the film product is about as forgettable as a film can be.
Scenes That I Love: Keanu Reeves in John Wick
Today, we wish a happy sixty-first birthday to the one and only Keanu Reeves!
Today’s scene that I love comes from the film that made Keanu an icon for a whole generation of moviegoers who had blocked The Matrix sequels from their collective memories, John Wick. In this scene, Keanu explains that it wasn’t just a dog that he lost.
There’s not a pet owner in the world who doesn’t understand exactly what John Wick is saying here. And it must be said that Keanu, who has definitely grown a good deal as an actor over the years, really sells the emotions in this scene.
4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Hal Ashby Edition
4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!
Today, the Shattered Lens celebrates what would have been the 96th birthday of Hal Ashby, one of the most important (and, sadly, one of the most overlooked) directors of the 1970s. It’s time for….
4 Shots From 4 Hal Ashby Films
Harold and Maude (1971, dir by Hal Ashby, DP: John A. Alonzo)
The Last Detail (1973, dir by Hal Ashby, DP: Michael Chapman)
Bound for Glory (1976, dir by Hal Ashby, DP: Haskell Wexler)
Being There (1979, dir by Hal Ashby, DP: Caleb Deschanel)
Artwork of the Day: Private Detective (by Hugh Joseph Ward)
by Hugh Joseph Ward
This cover is from 1942.
Music Video of the Day: At My Most Beautiful by R.E.M. (1999, directed by Nigel Dick)
Sometimes, the most difficult thing is just making it to the audition in time. That is the theme of the video for R.E.M.’s At My Most Beautiful, which follows a cellist as she tries to make it to her audition for R.E.M.
The cellist is played by Rain Phoenix. Rain was the younger sister of River Phoenix, who was a friend of R.E.M.’s Michael Stipe. Rain had previously been a member of River’s band, Aleka’s Attic, and she also served as a back-up singer with the Red Hot Chili Peppers shortly before she appeared in this video.
Director Nigel Dick is another one of those music video directors who worked with almost everyone. If you were a successful musician, Nigel Dick probably did at least one video for you.
Enjoy!
Late Night Retro Television Review: CHiPs 4.11 “11-99: Officer Needs Help”
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing CHiPs, which ran on NBC from 1977 to 1983. The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!
This week, Ponch fixes everything.
Episode 4.11 “11-99: Officer Need Help”
(Dir by Phil Bondelli, originally aired on January 18th, 1981)
Three criminals are stealing trucks from a trucking company. One of the criminals works for the company but he gets fired, not for his thievery but because he accidentally put a cate of corrosive chemicals on the wrong truck. Now, the highway patrol has to track down the chemicals and also stop the criminals.
It’s a typical episode of CHiPs. A man loses his job after he’s wrongly accused of being the thief. The man’s son (Greg Bradford) helps Jon and Ponch catch the real criminals. There’s a subplot about all of the members of the high patrol carrying a new device that sends out of a signal whenever an officer’s down. Grossman accidentally pushes the button while chasing a lost dog. The emphasis here is on everyone working together and the Highway Patrol going out of their way to always have the best equipment to do their job. In the end, this is such a typical episode that the whole thing is kind of boring.
Really, for me, the only interesting thing about this episode is that it featured a subplot about a new police dispatcher who spoke with a stammer and who had trouble sending out instructions over the radio. I had a lot of sympathy for Kathie Lark (Katherine Moffat) because I had a pretty pronounced stammer up until I was about twelve years old. (It now only comes out if I’m extremely tired or stressed.) That said, considering just how important the dispatchers are when it comes to the Highway Patrol, I was a bit surprised that Kathie got the job in the first place. Kathie mentioned that she had previously been a dispatcher in a small town and again, I wondered how she got that job. To me, it seemed like the Highway Patrol was basically setting Kathie up for failure.
The good thing is that eventually someone gives Kathie some advice that helps her to overcome her nervousness and become an excellent dispatcher. Do you want to guess who gave her the advice? Seriously, I dare you to guess who, out of the show’s cast of characters, magically knew exactly the right thing to say to help Kathie out. If you’re thinking that Ponch was responsible for Kathie becoming a badass on the airwaves, you are exactly right! Is there no problem that Ponch can’t solve? Ponch’s advice, by the way, was that Kathie should always imagine that she was speaking directly to him. The next time that I find myself tripping over a word that starts with B, I’ll try the same thing.
It’s the Ponch Show! Seriously, there’s nothing that Ponch can’t do! Beyond that, this was a boring episode. The California scenery was nice to look at but otherwise, this episode felt like CHiPs on autopilot.
Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.18 “Badge of Dishonor”
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!
This week, Crockett and Tubbs battle some corrupt cops.
Episode 4.18 “Badge of Dishonor”
(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on March 18th, 1988)
Badge of Dishonor opens with Underworld’s Glory, Glory playing on the soundtrack. It’s an early electronic tune, one that isn’t quite EDM but still definitely shows hints of what Underworld and a lot of other synth-pop bands would eventually become. Usually, that would be pretty cool but, unfortunately, the song also has a gospel music feel and I personally gospel music to be excruciatingly dull.
That’s certainly the case here, where the music is played over the opening teaser and the gospel sounds robs it of whatever momentum it might have had. The episode opens with a drug deal gone wrong. Tubbs is working undercover when he and his contacts are suddenly busted by four cops, who kill the real dealers and then steal the drugs and the money. Tubbs barely manages to escape with his life. It should have been an exciting opening but it had a “been there, done that” sort of feel to it. This isn’t the first Miami Vice episode to feature an drug deal gone wrong and it’s not even the first to feature corrupt cops.
The cops in question are all originally from Cuba. Back in Castro’s Hellhole, they were all members of the same street gang. After coming to Miami and building up lengthy juvenile records, the four men were subsequently hired after a race riot (a real-life event that Castillo discusses in his terse manner) led to demands for a more racially-balanced police force. Because the force desperately needed some non-redneck cops, no one bothered to do an extensive background check on the four men when they applied to be cops. Tubbs comments that the corrupt cops are setting “minority hiring back 400 years.”
Crockett and Tubbs’s investigation at first centers on a lieutenant (Reni Santoni) who they think is crooked because he lives on a yacht. The lieutenant explains that he married well and that he suspects the same four cops as Crockett and Tubbs. The lieutenant is subsequently murdered by the cops. It turns out that the corrupt cops are getting their information from an undercover detective named Madison Stone (Michele Shay). Stone has spent the past few years deep undercover, living in a homeless community on the riverfront. Stone is not herself corrupt. She’s just been manipulated and is now in an impossible situation. At least, that’s the way Tubbs views it. Myself, I just felt that Madison Stone appeared to be as bad at working undercover as Sonny Crockett.
Technically, this was a well-made episode. The main problem is that the plot itself just felt so familiar and the four corrupt cops were not particularly interesting. Compared to the usual flamboyant Miami Vice criminals, the cops were pretty bland. In typical Miami Vice fashion, it ended on a dark note. The corrupt cops were defeated but both Madison Stone and their lieutenant were dead. There’s no happy endings in Miami.
Through the Shattered Lens 