Late Night Retro Television Review: Friday the 13th: The Series 2.18 “A Friend To The End”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!

This week, it’s two stories for the price of one!

Episode 2.18 “A Friend To The End”

(Dir by David Morse, originally aired on April 17th, 1989)

Before I say anything else about this episode, I should make clear that I’ve been watching Friday the 13th on YouTube.  Every episode has been uploaded and 99% of the uploads are clean and clear and easy to follow.  Unfortunately, this episode was the exception.  The sound quality was terrible.  The image was often blurry.  I’m not sure why this episode — and none of the other uploaded episodes — was so bad but it was bad enough that I occasionally struggled to follow the plot.  That’s not the fault of the show.  It’s just that the video that was uploaded to YouTube was really bad.  While I think I got the gist of the episode, I should still make clear that I watched it under less than ideal conditions.

This episode actually tells two stories.  With Jack out of town, Micki and Ryan are trying to retrieve the Shard of Medusa, a crystal that turns people into statues.  DeJager (Donna Goodhand) is the artist who currently owns the shard and who is using it to turn her models into stone.  What’s interesting about this story is that, when the episode begins, we join in medias res.  Micki and Ryan already know that DeJager has the shard and they’re already making a plan for Micki to go undercover as a model.

Unfortunately, they’re so busy trying to get back the shard that they don’t really have time to look after J.B. (Zachary Bennett), Micki’s young nephew who keeps getting left at the antique store while his newly-divorced mother runs off with her latest boyfriend.  (Interestingly, Ryan scornfully asks Micki about “your sister,” but since Micki is Ryan’s cousin, wouldn’t Micki’s sister also be his cousin?)  While Micki and Ryan are busy trying to get back the shard, J.B. is breaking into a nearby haunted house and befriending a troubled boy named Ricky (Keram Malicki-Sanchez).  What J.B. does not know is that Ricky is actually a living dead boy who is kept alive by a cursed coffin.  In order to continue to live, Ricky has to sacrifice people to the coffin.  Ricky isn’t happy about this.  He just wants a friend.  J.B. is willing to be that friend but what will happen when Ricky, desperately in need of a new sacrifice, turns his gaze towards Micki?

One of the strange things about this episode is that, when J.B. tells Micki and Ryan about Ricky, they both assume that he’s just making something up.  After everything Micki and Ryan have seen, would they really be so skeptical about J.B. claiming to have met a ghost in a long-abandoned house?  The other interesting thing about this episode is that the two storylines didn’t really intersect, beyond the fact that J.B. felt neglected because Micki and Ryan were spending so much time trying to get the shard.  At one point, DeJager breaks into the store and briefly grabs J.B. but that’s something that probably would have happened regardless of whether or not J.B. had ever met Ricky.

Did this episode work?  I’m hesitant to give a final verdict because of the poor quality of the upload.  That said, Keram Malicki-Sanchez gave a good performance as the tragic Ricky and I appreciated how all of the stuff with DeJager almost played out like a good-natured parody of a typical Friday the 13th episode.  Bad upload and all, this episode worked for me.

Finally, seeing as how I reviewed St. Elsewhere earlier today, I simply have to note that this episode was directed by Dr. Jack Morrison himself, David Morse.

 

Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.2 “Bypass”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

This week, William Daniels claims the show as his own.

Episode 1.2 “Bypass”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on November 9th, 1982)

“Hey, it’s Tim Robbins!”

Yes, the future Oscar winner shows up in the second episode of St. Elsewhere, playing a rich kid-turned-terrorist named Andrew Reinhardt.  Reinhardt, who no doubt learned all about Marxism during his first semester away at college, set off a bomb in a bank, killing two people and putting a woman named Kathleen McCallister into a coma.  Both Reihnhardt and McCallister have been brought to St. Eligius.  While Kathleen’s husband, Stephen (Jack Bannon), sobs in the hallway, Reinhardt acts like a petulant brat in his hospital room.

With the nurses refusing to change his sheets or even give him his morphine shots, it falls to Dr. Morrison to take care of him.  Reinhardt is not at all appreciative and Morrison finds himself conflicted.  How is he supposed to give proper medical treatment to someone who he despises?  Morrison is so conflicted that he even goes to Dr. Westphall.  Westphall responds by telling a long story about a time that he fell in love with a patient.  I’m getting the feeling that Morrison feeling conflicted and Westphall telling long stories are both going to be regular features on this show.

(The correct answer to Morrison’s question about how he can take care of a bad person is as follows: It’s your job and you’re getting paid to do it.)

This episode also gave the viewer a chance to get to know Dr. Craig, the very talented but very egotistical head of surgery who is played by the great William Daniels.  Dr. Craig holds a press conference to inform reporters about the conditions of both Reinhardt and Kathleen McCallister and declares that, despite its bad reputation, “St. Eligius is the place to be!”  He then proceeds to get angry when the press is more interested in talking to the surgeon who actually saved Kathleen’s life than to him.

Dr. Craig browbeats a Mr. Broadwater (Robert Costanzo) into getting bypass surgery done.  The surgery appears to have been a success but it’s hard to ignore that Craig essentially bullied the guy into getting a major operation, one that could have killed him if the least little thing had gone wrong.  Resident Victor Ehrlich (Ed Begley, Jr.) assists in the operation and, at one point, Dr. Craig intentionally head butts him when Ehrlich cannot name all of the arteries leading into the heart.  It’s a bit aggressive but, on the plus side, Ehrlich does learn all of the names.  Afterwards, Dr. Craig brags about how his own son is following in his footsteps and tells Mr. Broadwater’s son that some day, a new Dr. Craig will operate on him.  In other words, Dr. Craig is kind of a jerk but he’s good at what he does and he’s played by William Daniels so it’s hard to hold anything against him.

There were other subplots playing out in the background, the majority of which just seemed to be there to remind us that St. Elsewhere is an ensemble show and that, just because someone isn’t a major character in this episode, that doesn’t mean they won’t be important later on.  Psychiatrist Hugh Beale (G.W. Bailey) attempted to learn how to swim and ended up taking a class with a bunch of children.  Dr. Fiscus (Howie Mandel, the least convincing doctor ever) held court in the cafeteria and claimed that the hormones used in processing food were causing children to develop earlier than ever before.  Dr. Peter White (Terrence Knox) wandered around with a bunch of X-rays and begged everyone he met to help him understand what he was (or wasn’t) seeing.  If nothing else, this episode did a good job of capturing the idea of the hospital as being a place that’s always busy.

For the most part, though, it was Dr. Craig who carried this episode.  While Morrison and Westphall ponderously considered the implications of doing their jobs, Craig was an arrogant, angry, and brilliant dynamo and William Daniels’s high-energy performance was a pleasure to watch.  Whenever the episode started to slow down, Dr. Craig would liven things up by yelling at someone.  The hospital was lucky to have Dr. Craig and St. Elsewhere was lucky to have William Daniels.

Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul: A Preview


I’ve managed to avoid most of the hype surrounding tonight’s boxing match between Mike Tyson and Jake Paul.  That was intentional on my part because I found the whole idea to be incredibly depressing.

When I was growing up, there was no athlete more fearsome than Mike Tyson.  At the peak of his career, he was the best boxer of all time.  You can count me in as one of the people who believes that Tyson, at his best, could have easily defeated Mohammed Ali.  What Tyson lacked in finesse, he made up for in pure power.  As Tyson got older, he got slower and was no longer as impressive as he used to be but that happens to almost every boxer.  Even after he retired, Tyson remained a boxing icon.  I don’t care how old he is or how slowly he might now move, I would not want to get on Mike Tyson’s bad side.

And then there’s Jake Paul.  I had to ask Lisa who Jake Paul was.  Apparently, he’s a YouTube star who has decided that he’s a boxer and who has won a few sketchy fights.  Paul vs. Tyson is going to be his debut as a heavyweight.

Friends and fellow readers, let me just be blunt.

If “Iron Mike” Tyson loses to Jake Paul tonight, my childhood will be over.  If Mike Tyson, the most fearsome boxer of my lifetime, loses to a YouTube star, I am just going to give up on everything and start my mid-life crisis.  It would be one thing if this was an exhibition match.  Everyone knows that an exhibition doesn’t mean anything.  This is an officially sanctioned boxing match.  This fight will forever be a part of Mike Tyson’s record.  If Mike Tyson officially ends his career losing to Jake Paul, what’s the point?

And it could happen. Mike Tyson is 58 years old and Jake Paul is 27.  There’s a big difference between 58 and 27.  By his own admission, Mike Tyson also doesn’t like to train.  In Tyson’s last officially sanctioned match, he lost to Kevin McBride.  Remember that? Tyson quit the fight after the sixth round.  And after he lost, Tyson said “I’m not going to disrespect the sport anymore by losing to this caliber of fighter.”  Mike’s looking for a payday and so is Jake Paul.  If Jake beats Mike Tyson, that’ll mean that anyone could beat Mike Tyson if they pay him enough.  That would be the ultimate disrespect to the sport that Tyson says he loves.

I have faith in Iron Mike, though.  I think Tyson will let the fight go to the end but I think he’ll win on points.  I think that the universe or karma or whatever you want to call it will cut all of us fight fans a break.

At least, I hope it will.

Live Tweet Alert: Join #FridayNightFlix For Empire Records!


As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in a few weekly live tweets on Twitter and Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We tweet our way through it.

Tonight, at 10 pm et, #FridayNightFlix presents 1995’s Empire Records!

If you want to join us this Friday, just hop onto twitter, start the movie at 10 pm et, and use the #FridayNightFlix hashtag!  It’s a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.

Empire Records is available on Prime!  See you there!

HARD TIMES – Charles Bronson & James Coburn take on New Orleans!


HARD TIMES is probably the best movie that features Charles Bronson in the lead, and it’s my personal favorite movie of all time as of the date of this review. I reserve the right to change this opinion at any time!

Charles Bronson is Chaney, a drifter who’s riding the rails in the south during the great depression. Soon after getting off the train in some unnamed southern town, Chaney comes across an underground “fight” where we first meet Speed, played by the great James Coburn. It seems Speed is the money man for this big lug of a fighter who gets his butt kicked in front of God, the local underground fighting world, a man with horrible teeth, and Chaney. After witnessing this fiasco, Chaney follows Speed to a local restaurant where he apparently waits in the shadows until Speed goes up to the counter to get a refill of oysters and a couple of lemons. I say this because when Speed turns from the counter with his newly filled tray, Chaney is sitting at Speed’s table. I’m surprised that Speed even talks to him because the first thing Chaney does is help himself to an oyster, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING! Even with this breach of etiquette, Speed discusses the fight from earlier in the evening with Chaney, who offers his fighting services to Speed since the “big lug” is clearly not a good investment into the future and who is probably in a hospital overnight dealing with a concussion. Speed is hesitant to accept this offer since Chaney appears to be fairly old (Bronson was 53 when he made the film), but he changes his mind when Chaney offers his last $6 bucks to Speed to bet on him. Cut to Chaney getting his chance to fight. This is a fun scene because his opponent is the same fighter from earlier who kicked the big lug’s butt. The guy even taunts Chaney for being too old. The fight starts and it consists of two hits, Chaney hits the smartass, the smartass hits the ground. Somewhat amazed, Speed takes Chaney to New Orleans, and the two embark on an odyssey together to win fights and make thick wads of cash. The remainder of the film documents that odyssey, although it does take time out for a few “in-betweens.”

HARD TIMES is one of Bronson’s best films, and one of the main reasons why is that it provides a boatload of audience satisfaction. There are many examples of this. First is the scene mentioned above where Chaney takes out the smirking, dismissive fighter who sees our hero as too old. Too old my ass! In another scene, a bunch of unrefined Cajuns out in the boondocks refuse to pay up after Chaney kicks their fighter’s butt. Rather than pay up, the slimy Cajuns pull out a gun and dare Speed and Chaney to come take the money. Our heroes leave at that time, but Chaney convinces them to hang around out in the country for awhile so they can surprise the Cajuns under the cover of darkness at the local honkytonk, which happens to be owned by the head slimy Cajun. Chaney takes the gun, takes the money, and then shoots up the place with the gun, grinning as he saves the last bullet to shoot a mirror he’s looking directly into. It’s a fun scene that ends with Chaney, Speed and the gang speeding off into the night laughing like hyenas! In another scene, Chaney takes on the big, bald-headed, unbeatable fighter Jim Henry (Robert Tessier) in an awesome cage match. Let’s just say Jim Henry thought he was unbeatable and leave it at that. And finally, a competing New Orleans money man (Jim Henry’s guy) just can’t stand that he no longer has the top fighter in town, so he brings in a fighter from Chicago to take on Chaney. I won’t tell you what happens, but it’s some really fun stuff! 

The cast of HARD TIMES also elevates the film to top tier status. I’ve already discussed Bronson and Coburn, but Strother Martin and Jill Ireland also add to the joy. Martin plays Poe, Chaney’s drug addict cut man, who dresses up like he could grow up to be Colonel Sanders in his older age. It’s a fun performance that adds a lot to the film. Jill Ireland plays Chaney’s love interest. She’s quite beautiful, but she seems to always be giving Chaney a hard time about what he does for a living. His response is usually to simply leave when she starts that BS. I thinks that’s kind of fun too. 

And finally, this was the directorial debut of Walter Hill, the man behind THE WARRIORS, THE DRIVER, THE LONG RIDERS, SOUTHERN COMFORT, 48 HOURS, and RED HEAT. His movie is lean and mean, without a wasted moment that isn’t moving the film along. Hill has crafted a fun movie, filled with great performances. I think it’s one of the most underrated films of the 1970’s!