Daily Archives: March 27, 2024

Late Night Retro Television Review: Monsters 2.1 “The Face”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing Monsters, which aired in syndication from 1988 to 1991. The entire series is streaming on YouTube.

This week, we start the second season of Monsters!

Episode 2.1 “The Face”

(Dir by Allen Coulter, originally aired on October 1st, 1989)

The second season of Monsters opens with two redneck brother, Ray (Gregory Grove) and Clifford (Gary Roberts), breaking into a house that is owned by an old widow (Imogene Coca).  Because the woman is known for paying for everything in cash and doesn’t even have a bank account, the brothers suspect that she has a fortune stashed away somewhere in the house.  (I’m not really sure how the brothers know that she doesn’t have a bank account and, for that matter, neither one of them really come across like they could open a bank account either.  Maybe just don’t judge people on whether or not they have a bank account, you know?)  When the dumbass brothers stumble across the woman in her bedroom, a struggle leads to Ray suffocating her but not before she bites a chunk out of his hand.

The wound on Ray’s hand refuses to heal.  Instead, it starts to resemble the face of the old woman and soon, Ray is hearing her voice and the wound itself appears to be talking.  Yikes!  Is Ray being driven mad by his own guilt and paranoia or is the woman’s spirit truly haunting him?  And will Ray ever be able to get the voice to stop or will he end up doing something unthinkable to his hand?

Either way, that talking hand wound is not particularly pleasant to look at.  The second season premiere of Monsters takes it cue from both the body horror of David Cronenberg and the comedic grotesquerie of Sam Raimi and that means that we get a lot of closeups of Ray’s bloody hand and we also see every detail of the lengths that Ray goes to try to silence the wound.  I started this episode cringing and, by the end of it, I had my own hands over my eyes because some of the imagery was just way too …. icky.

While the imagery was undeniably effective in its nauseating way, the overall story really didn’t carry much of an impact.  Ray and Clifford were both such idiots that it was difficult to really care about any story involving them.  In the end, they weren’t even interesting enough to make their downfall fun to watch.  This episode worked best as an example of gross-out horror and, if I had to guess, I think the episode’s main aim was to let viewers know that season 2 was going to be even more graphic than season one.  The episode makes for a fine highlight real for the show’s VFX and makeup teams but, as a story, it just falls flat.

4 Shots From 4 Films: Special Quentin Tarantino Edition

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

4 Or More Shots From 4 Or More Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking!

Today, the Shattered Lens wishes a happy 61st birthday to director/screenwriter/cultural institution, Quentin Tarantino!

Here are….

4 Shots From 4 Quentin Tarantino Films

Reservoir Dogs (1992, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Andrzej Sekuła)

Jackie Brown (1997, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Guillermo Navarro)

Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Robert Richardson)

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019, dir by Quentin Tarantino, DP: Robert Richardson)

Retro Television Review: The Love Boat 4.9 “She Stole His Heart/Return of the Captain’s Brother/Swag and Mag”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

The Stubing Brothers are together again!

Episode 4.9 “She Stole His Heart/Return of the Captain’s Brother/Swag and Mag”

(Dir by Richard Kinon, originally aired on December 8th, 1980)

This week, Captain Stubing’s no-good brother — Marshall Stubing — returns!  That means that it is once again time for Gavin MacLeod to put on a toupee and a fake mustache and to play a dual role.  (And, once again, he is credited as O.D. Warbux when playing Marshall.)

This time, Marshall is actually on the boat with the best of intentions.  He wants to marry Natalie Martin (Arlene Dahl) and, amazingly enough, Natalie wants to marry him as well.  Except — oh no! — it’s Zsa Zsa Gabor!  Gabor plays Marshall’s ex-girlfriend.  The character has a name but we’ll just call her Zsa Zsa because she’s basically playing herself.  Marshall is certainly tempted by Zsa Zsa but, in the end, he does the right thing and he marries Natalie.  In fact, the third Stubing brother, Milo Stubing (Sonny Wilde), shows up for the wedding.  Wait a minute, Sonny Wilde?  OH MY GOD, IT’S GAVIN MACLEOD IN ANOTHER WIG!

Gavin MacLeod plays three characters in this episode and let’s give him some credit.  It’s all very, very silly and Zsa Zsa Gabor is not for everyone but Gavin MacLeond pulls it off.  (Admittedly, there is one awkward scene where Merill has a conversation with Marshall and it’s obvious that no one told MacLeod where the other version of him would be standing so, as a result, Merrill appears to be looking over Marshall’s head while speaking to him but even that is kind of charming in its low-rent way.)  Gavin MacLeod appears to be having fun in this episode and that was definitely the correct approach to take to this show.  It keeps the story entertaining, even though not that much really happens with it.

As for the other stories …. eh, who cares?  I mean, when you’ve got Gavin MacLeod talking to himself and Zsa Zsa Gabor making a grand entrance into every scene, do you need any other stories?  Okay, okay, I’ll still talk about them, even though neither one is really that interesting.

Joan Van Ark plays a kleptomaniac from Oklahoma who falls for a psychologist played by Stephen Keep Mills.  Whenever she flirts with him, she ends up walking away with his wallet or his wristwatch.  Fortunately, they find romance and good mental health together.  The doctor could have just called the police and had her arrested but that would have made for a depressing ending.

Darryl Brewster (Ron Ely) is Vicki’s favorite actor.  He plays private detective Steve Swaggart on television.  Swaggart can win any fight but when Darryl is challenged to a real fight by another passenger (William Boyett), Darryl ends up trying to pay the guy off.  The passenger reveals Darryl is a coward and, for a while, everyone is disillusioned.  But then Darryl gives a speech about the difference between playing a brawler and being one and everyone forgives him, including his agent and soon-to-be lover, Maggie (Erin Gray).  The big problem here is that we’re asked to believe that Stubing would allow two passengers to schedule a fistfight on his ship without any repercussions.  That would be the sort of thing that I think would get most captains fired.  Obviously, Merrill was pre-occupied with his brothers but that’s really no excuse for putting the cruise line in legal jeopardy.

In short, it may be time to fire Stubing and let Gopher take over.

We’ll see if Stubing has gotten any better at his job next week.

Music Video of the Day: Mission Impossible, performed by Tomoyasu Hotei (2016, dir by ????)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, my sisters and I watched and very much enjoyed Mission Impossible: Dead Reckoning.  In honor of those 3 hours of sisterly bonding, here is the great Tomoyasu Hotei performing the Mission Impossible theme song.

Enjoy!