Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Baywatch Nights 1.11 “Takeover”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997.  The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Baywatch Nights reboots for the first time and gets a brand new opening.

Episodes 1.11 “Takeover”

(Dir by Georg Fenady, originally aired on February 3rd, 1996)

This week’s episode opens with Mitch arriving at Nights early in the morning.  Ryan and Garner are waiting for him and so are all of the club’s waitresses.  Some expositional dialogue establishes that Lou Raymond has sold Nights to “D.M. Marco.”  The waitresses are waiting to see if they still have jobs.  Ryan, Garner, and Mitch are waiting so that they can re-sign a lease for their detective agency….

Eleven episodes into the first season and Baywatch Nights has already rebooted itself!  It’s usually not a good sign when a show drastically changes its format or starts writing out old characters and replacing them with new people.  Usually, when this happens, it’s because the show’s rating have suddenly declined and the producers are desperately trying to inject some new life into things.  It’s never a good sign when something like this happens before the first season is even halfway finished.

As Mitch waits, a blonde wearing a short but not particularly flattering blue dress steps into the club.  Mitch assumes that she’s a waitress and starts hitting on her.  Ha ha!  Joke’s on you, Mitch!  She’s Donna Marco (Donna D’Errico) and she’s your new landlord and a new regular on the show!  Mitch is stunned to discover that women can be successful in business.  This kind of goes against everything that the viewer has previously learned about Mitch but whatever.  It’s a reboot!  It’s a new world!  And now Mitch is apparently one of those guys who is left with his mouth agape over the idea of a woman being the boss.

As for this week’s case, it’s also about business.  Someone is targeting the executives of a company called Rancor.  Two of those executives went to high school with Mitch so he’s not going to let anyone kill them.  That said, a lot of executives who don’t have a previous Mitch connection do end up dying.  In fact, this episode has the highest body count of Baywatch Nights so far.  At first, Mitch assumes that the murders are being orchestrated by a corporate raider who wants to take over the business and who has apparently never learned how to buy stock.  But instead, the murderer turns out to be a blonde executive named Nicki (Sandra Hess), who blames the company for death of her father.  Despite her murderous ways, there are some sparks of romance between Nicki and Mitch but that comes to an end when Nicki blows herself up while trying to take out the final Rancor executive.

This was a weird episode, as the pacing felt off and the story was far more violent than any of the ones that came before it.  At one point, Mitch gets a favor from an IRS agent by promising him a date with Donna and that just felt really icky.  There’s another extended scene where both a businessman and the show’s cameraman spends several minutes leering at Ryan’s legs and again, it just felt off.  Previously, the show had never been shy about showing off Angie Harmon’s legs and, speaking as someone who enjoys showing off her own legs, there’s nothing wrong with that but, in this particular episode, it crosses the line from being appreciative to being tacky.  One could tell that the show’s producers brainstormed and couldn’t come up with anything better than, “Let’s make Baywatch Nights more like Baywatch!”

What’s sad is that Baywatch Nights really didn’t need a reboot.  The first ten episodes were, for the most part, fun and entertaining in their vapid way.  This episode, though, feels like it’s begging for attention and that’s never a good look.  Don’t worry, though.  Not all reboots are bad, as we’ll see in another 11 episodes.  That is when we will reach season 2 of Baywatch Nights.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost the entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube, Daily Motion, and a few other sites.

The plane has arrived!

Episode 4.10 “High Off The Hog/Reprisal”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on January 10th 1981)

This week’s episode of Fantasy Island is all about being someone that you’re not.

For instance, Hadley Boggs (Stephen Shortridge) wants to thank his family for taking out a mortgage on the family farm, just so he could go to MIT.  Hadley has a great future ahead of him but he just wants his dad (Noah Beery, Jr.), mother (Dody Goodman), and sister (Misty Rowe) to have a chance to be live like rich people for the weekend.

Fantasy Island to the rescue!

When the Boggs family arrives, they are shocked to discover that they are going to be living in a mansion.  Mr. Roarke has arranged for them to host a cocktail party with ten of the richest men on the island.  Unfortunately, he makes the mistake of telling Tattoo to place an invite for the party in the Fantasy Island Chronicle.  (Yes, Fantasy Island has a newspaper and, in this episode, it appears to be printed in red ink.)  Tattoo decides to spice things up by claiming that the Boggs family owns a uranium mine.  Mr. Roarke is not happy.

“But, boss,” Tattoo says, “I am your best assistant!”

“That does not matter,” Roarke snaps before explaining that the Boggs family could be in a lot of trouble if they start buying things with money they don’t have or selling property they don’t own.

And, of course, that’s just what happens.  Roger Fox (Shecky Greene) offers the father of the family a few million dollars for the mine.  Thinking that it’s all part of the fantasy, Dad agrees.  Roger then sells the non-existent mine to someone else because it turns out that Roger is a con artist at heart.  Fortunately, with Roarke’s help, the family is able to con Roger into giving them back the non-existent mine and Hadley even falls in love with Roger’s daughter, Kathi (Kathrine Baumann).  To be honest, I had a hard time following exactly how Mr. Roarke conned Roger into giving up his fake mine but I’m glad things worked out.

This fantasy was …. eh.  The problem is that Hadley’s family was presented as being borderline idiots, what with their amazed reaction to existence of cars, airplanes, servants, and checking accounts.  It’s one thing to make them a poor farm family.  It’s another to treat them as if they’re the members of a cargo cult that has never had contact with modern human beings before.  West Virginia is not the Amazon Rain Forest.

The other fantasy featured Maureen McCormick in one of her six trips to the Island.  This time, she plays Trudy Brown (Maureen McCormick), an orphaned gymnast who is treated terribly by her aunt (Janis Paige) and her cousin (Holly Gagnier).  Trudy wants to win the Fantasy Island Gymnastics Competition and, in the process, she wants to defeat her cousin.  Mr. Roarke gives her the power of telekinesis, which Trudy promptly used to make her cousin fall off the high beam.  Roarke gives Trudy a stern talking to.

It’s a struggle but eventually, Trudy realizes that she doesn’t want to win through magic powers.  Nor does she want to hurt her cousin or anyone else competing.  Roarke takes away her powers and Trudy, having learned a valuable lesson, wins the competition on her own.

This fantasy was actually a lot of fun, just because it gave the viewer a chance to see what Carrie would have been like if Maureen McCormick had played the title role instead of Sissy Spacek.  McCormick seems to be having lot of fun loosening screws with her mind.  Toss in some gymnastics with the telekinesis and you have classic Island fantasy!

This episode had one boring fantasy and one good fantasy.  Luckily, the good overshadowed the boring.

Film Review: A Stranger In The Woods (dir by József Gallai)


“My humor is a bit abstract.”

— Victor Browning (Bill Oberst, Jr.)

“He’s a very strange guy.”

— Edith (Laura Ellen Wilson)

A Stranger In The Woods opens with a car driving into the woods.  The skies are cloudy.  The road is isolated.  It’s unsettling because, other than the driver of the car, there aren’t any other people around.  Other than the road, there are no signs of civilization.  It’s the type of image that causes the viewer to consider just how much we take for granted the idea of interacting with other people and living in a world where our needs are taken care of.  Today, we view anyone who would separate themselves from civilization as being an eccentric.  In the past, though, that was how most people lived.  They lived alone in home that they built for themselves and visitors and strangers were viewed with suspicion.  It’s a way of life that many people had forced upon them from 2020 to 2021 and it led to the anger and societal anxiety that is still shaking the world today.  Living in isolation is not easy for most people in the modern world, which is perhaps why we are so fascinated with people who can actually handle it.

Driving the car is Edith (Laura Ellen Wilson), a 20-something film student who has been given a tip by one of her professors.  There is a man named Victor Browning (Bill Oberst, Jr.) who lives by himself in the woods.  He’s known for being a bit off-key but he is considered to be generally harmless.  He lives in a cabin, spending his time in what appears to be self-imposed exile from the world.  He only occasionally leaves his cabin so he can get supplies.  Victor has agreed to be interviewed by Edith for a student documentary.

The first meeting with Victor is a bit awkward but he soon starts to open up to Edith.  Victor seems to be friendly and polite, even if he does appear to be a bit haunted by things that happened in the past.  Then again, Edith has things in her past that haunt her as well.  However, as Edith’s stay with Victor continues, she starts to notice some odd and eventually disturbing things about Victor and his isolated existence….

A Stranger In The Woods is a found footage film, playing out as a combination of the footage that Edith shot for her documentary and audio recordings of phone calls that she placed to various people.  As a result, we learn about Victor’s secrets along with Edith.  Like Edith, we start the film liking Victor for his shy manners and his seemingly gentle sense of humor and, just like Edith, we are shocked to witness his sudden changes in mood and his seeming reluctance to discuss certain aspects of his life.  Bill Oberst, Jr. gives a performance that keeps you guessing about just who Victor is and what he’s doing out in the woods.  Oberst is sometimes likable and sometimes frightening and he always keeps the audience from getting too complacent while watching the story unfold.  Victor Browning’s name brings to mind such Universal horror icons as Victor Frankenstein and director Tod Browning and, like the characters who appeared in those classic horror films, he is compelling even when we’re not sure what’s going on inside his head.

A Stranger In The Woods is an atmospheric film, one that understands that there’s nothing scarier than being alone in the middle of nowhere in the dark.  Victor is a fascinating character and fans of 70s horror will want to watch for Lynn Lowry’s cameo during the second half of the film.  A Stranger In The Woods is an effectively creepy portrait of a very strange guy.

Oppenheimer Leads The Oscar Nominations!


After all the build-up, the Oscar nominations turned out to be what I imagine most people were expecting.  There’s a lot of worthy nominees but not many surprises.  Greta Gerwig was not nominated for Best Director and Charles Melton was not nominated for Best Supporting Actor.  (I imagine more than a few voters were too creeped out by that particular film to vote for it.)  Oppenheimer leads with 13 nominations.  Godzilla Minus One becomes the first Godzilla film to ever receive a nomination (for Visual Effects).

Here are the nominees:

Best Picture

American Fiction (Ben LeClair, Nikos Karamigios, Cord Jefferson and Jermaine Johnson, Producers)
Anatomy of a Fall (Marie-Ange Luciani and David Thion, Producers
Barbie (David Heyman, Margot Robbie, Tom Ackerley and Robbie Brenner, Producers)
The Holdovers (Mark Johnson, Producer)
Killers of the Flower Moon (Dan Friedkin, Bradley Thomas, Martin Scorsese and Daniel Lupi, Producers)
Maestro (Bradley Cooper, Steven Spielberg, Fred Berner, Amy Durning and Kristie Macosko Krieger, Producers)
Oppenheimer (Emma Thomas, Charles Roven and Christopher Nolan, Producers)
Past Lives (David Hinojosa, Christine Vachon and Pamela Koffler, Producers)
Poor Things (Ed Guiney, Andrew Lowe, Yorgos Lanthimos and Emma Stone, Producers)
The Zone of Interest (James Wilson, Producer)

Best Directing

Justine Triet (Anatomy of a Fall)
Martin Scorsese (Killers of the Flower Moon)
Christopher Nolan (Oppenheimer)
Yorgos Lanthimos (Poor Things)
Jonathan Glazer (The Zone of Interest)

Best Actor in a Leading Role

Bradley Cooper (Maestro)
Colman Domingo (Rustin)
Paul Giamatti (The Holdovers)
Cillian Murphy (Oppenheimer)
Jeffrey Wright (American Fiction)

Best Actress in a Leading Role

Annette Bening (Nyad)
Lily Gladstone (Killers of the Flower Moon)
Sandra Hüller (Anatomy of a Fall)
Carey Mulligan (Maestro)
Emma Stone (Poor Things)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role

Sterling K. Brown (American Fiction)
Robert De Niro (Killers of the Flower Moon)
Robert Downey Jr. (Oppenheimer)
Ryan Gosling (Barbie)
Mark Ruffalo (Poor Things)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role

Emily Blunt (Oppenheimer)
Danielle Brooks (The Color Purple)
America Ferrera (Barbie)
Jodie Foster (Nyad)
Da’Vine Joy Randolph (The Holdovers)

Best Writing (Adapted Screenplay)

American Fiction (Written for the screen by Cord Jefferson)
Barbie (Written by Greta Gerwig & Noah Baumbach)
Oppenheimer (Written for the screen by Christopher Nolan)
Poor Things (Screenplay by Tony McNamara)
The Zone of Interest (Written by Jonathan Glazer)

Best Writing (Original Screenplay)

Anatomy of a Fall (Screenplay by Justine Triet and Arthur Harari
The Holdovers (Written by David Hemingson)
Maestro (Written by Bradley Cooper & Josh Singer)
May December (Screenplay by Samy Burch; Story by Samy Burch & Alex Mechanik)
Past Lives (Written by Celine Song)

Best Animated Feature

The Boy and the Heron (Hayao Miyazaki and Toshio Suzuki)
Elemental 
(Peter Sohn and Denise Ream)
Nimona 
(Nick Bruno, Troy Quane, Karen Ryan and Julie Zackary)
Robot Dreams (Pablo Berger, Ibon Cormenzana, Ignasi Estapé and Sandra Tapia Díaz)
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Kemp Powers, Justin K. Thompson, Phil Lord, Christopher Miller and Amy Pascal)

Best Cinematography

El Conde (Edward Lachman)
Killers of the Flower Moon (Rodrigo Prieto)
Maestro (Matthew Libatique)
Oppenheimer (Hoyte van Hoytema)
Poor Things (Robbie Ryan)

Best Costume Design

Barbie (Jacqueline Durran)
Killers of the Flower Moon (Jacqueline West)
Napoleon (Janty Yates and Dave Crossman)
Oppenheimer (Ellen Mirojnick)
Poor Things (Holly Waddington)

Best Makeup and Hairstyling

Golda
Maestro
Oppenheimer
Poor Things
Society of the Snow

Best Animated Short Film

Letter to a Pig
Ninety-Five Senses
Our Uniform
Pachyderme
War Is Over! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko

Best Live-Action Short Film

The After
Invincible
Knight of Fortune
Red, White and Blue
The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

Best Original Song

“The Fire Inside” (Flamin’ Hot)
“I’m Just Ken” (Barbie)
“It Never Went Away” (American Symphony)
“Wahzhazhe (A Song For My People)” (Killers of the Flower Moon)
“What Was I Made For?” (Barbie)

Best Original Score

American Fiction (Laura Karpman)
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (John Williams)
Killers of the Flower Moon (Robbie Robertson)
Oppenheimer (Ludwig Göransson)
Poor Things (Jerskin Fendrix)

Best Documentary Feature Film

Bobi Wine: The People’s President
The Eternal Memory
Four Daughters
To Kill a Tiger
20 Days in Mariupol

Best Documentary Short Film

The ABCs of Book Banning
The Barber of Little Rock
Island in Between
The Last Repair Shop
Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó

Best International Feature Film

Io Capitano (Italy)
Perfect Days (Japan)
Society of the Snow (Spain)
The Teacher’s Lounge (Germany)
The Zone of Interest (United Kingdom)

Best Production Design

Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

Best Film Editing

Anatomy of a Fall
The Holdovers
Killers of the Flower Moon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

Best Production Design

Barbie
Killers of the Flower Moon
Napoleon
Oppenheimer
Poor Things

Best Sound

The Creator
Maestro
Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part One
Oppenheimer
The Zone of Interest

Best Visual Effects

The Creator
Godzilla: Minus One
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning, Part One
Napoleon