October Positivity: The War Within (dir by Brett Varvel and Drew Varvel)

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

2014’s The War Within takes place in two worlds, one on the outside and one in the inside.

The film opens with Michael Sinclair (Brett Vavrel), a cartoonist who is struggling to deal with both the death of his daughter and the subsequent collapse of his marriage. Though he still has his good memories of when he first met and fell in love with Amy (Rebecca Reid), those are running the risk of fading and disappearing as neither one can forgive themselves for the accident that took away their daughter. Michael has even found himself questioning his once firm faith in religion. Amy, meanwhile, was never particularly religious, something that worried her daughter in the days before her death. When Michael gets a phone call informing him that his syndicated comic strip has been cancelled due to him missing too many deadlines, Michael trashes his studio and wonders why he is being so punished.

The film takes us inside of Michael’s head, where Heart (Brett Vavrel, in a duo role), Will (Gary Vavrel), Conscience (Daron Day), Mind (Terry Vavrel), Emotion (Drew Vavrel), and Memory (Bruce Crum) all battle for control of Michael’s decisions and his future. At first, it appears that only Emotion wants to reject both Amy and his faith. But then Heart starts to realize that both Mind and Will are slipping over to Emotion’s side. Heart and Conscience have to work together to search the realms of Michael’s mind so that they can retrieve the memory orbs that have been stolen by the other traits. Otherwise, Michael will never find peace and he’ll lose his wife….

Okay, this probably sounds a bit weird and I guess it kind of is. I mean, on the one hand, you’ve got Michael and Amy trying to come to terms and find some sort of meaning in the worst tragedy that a parent can experience. There are frequent flashbacks, finally explaining the heartbreaking reason why Michael blames himself for their daughter’s death. And there’s a moment of incredible coincidence, in which Amy discovers how the accident that took her daughter’s life also effected one of the new students in her class. I mean, it’s an amazing coincidence but it’s still a rather sweet plot development and it’s well-acted by Rebecca Reid.

While that’s going on, you have a bunch of people wearing vaguely medieval costumes battling in a shadowy realm that is meant to represent Michael’s subconscious. There’s some crudely effective CGI, in which Emotion attacks the other traits with …. well, emotions. There’s a lot of talk about memory orbs and hidden realms and it’s all a bit corny but it’s also all so earnest that it’s hard not to get some enjoyment out of it. I especially liked the fact that Emotion looked and sounded like the type of emo kid that I would have had a crush on back when I was 16 years old. Watching those scenes made me think about the type of war that’s probably going on in my own mind right now. Heart says to stay up for a month straight just watching and reviewing movies. Mind says, “Get some sleep and stay healthy!” Emotion has yet to chime in.

Anyway, this was one of those film that was so weird that it was pretty much impossible not to enjoy it. Count that as a victory for Heart.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Howard has a chance to get the heck out of Canada!

Episode 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 16th, 1985)

The workers at Cobb’s Grocery are reluctantly preparing for another theme week at the store. It’s a Switzerland theme week, which I assume will be very popular in Canada. All of the cashiers are dressed like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Assistant manager Jack Christian is wearing lederhosen. Christian is really excited because he’s managed to borrow an expensive cuckoo clock with which to decorate the store.

Store manager Howard Bannister has a bit more on his mind, though. He has an interview coming up with an international hotel chain and, if he aces the interview, he’ll get to manage a hotel in Venice. As Howard puts it, this has been his dream for about 15 years. Unfortunately, it’s going to be difficult for Howard to ace that interview because the store’s alarm system keeps malfunctioning and the police finally tell Howard to just turn off the alarm so that they’re not bothered anymore. However, that expensive and borrowed cuckoo clock is still hanging on the wall so Howard ends up having to sleep at the store. Needless to say, the exhausted Howard falls asleep in the middle of his interview and doesn’t get the job. As Christian resigns himself to still being the store’s assistant manager, Howard accepts that he’s not going anywhere for a while.

This is an odd episode of Check It Out. For one thing, there’s a totally different stockboy (played by Jason Warren) from the kid who appeared in the previous two episodes. He’s a bit older than the usual stockboy, he wears rather thick glasses, and everyone acts as if he’s always been at the store. Meanwhile, the store’s electrician (played by Gordon Clapp) is referred to as being “Mr. Matthews” even though his name was Viker in his previous (and future) appearances.

Perhaps the oddest thing about the episode is that everyone is given very backstory-dependent dialogue. For instance, Edna has a long conversation with cashier Jennifer (Tonya Williams) in which she explains the history of her relationship with Howard. Whenever Christian enters a room, everyone is quick to mention that he’s the assistant manager, as if this is information that has never been mentioned before. The relationships between the characters also feel a bit off. For instance, there hasn’t been any hints of deep friendship between Edna and Jennifer in the previous two episodes.

My guess is that this episode was originally the pilot for Check It Out. Apparently, it worked well enough to sell the show but the show’s producers decided not to use it as the first episode. Instead, it aired as the third episode, despite the fact that the episode was essentially a rough draft of what the show would become.

As for the episode …. eh, it’s okay. Gordon Clapp was funny as the confident but incompetent electrician. Jeff Pustil had a few funny moments as Christian. Don Adams overacted a bit as Howard, as if the show still wasn’t sure how obnoxious or sympathetic the character should be. My main issue with the episode was the idea of Howard going from managing a grocery store in Canada to managing an international hotel in Venice. I mean, can Howard even speak Italian?

Next week, everyone at the store is required to get a physical!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 10/15/23 — 10/21/23

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

TV!? Who has time for TV in October! I’m going to have so much to catch up on in November, I swear. Here’s some thoughts on what I did watch over the previous week!

ALCS Game One (Sunday Night, FOX)

I watched this baseball game, between the Rangers and the Astros, on Sunday night with my sister, Erin. The Rangers won, which made Erin happy and that made me happy.

ALCS Game Two (Monday Afternoon, Fox)

I watched a bit of this with Erin on Monday. She was happy that the Rangers won so I was happy too.

Big Brother 25 (24/7, CBS and Paramount Plus)

I wrote about Big Brother here!

Check It Out (Tubi)

I watched the 3rd episode of Check It Out earlier today and my review will be dropping in about 90 minutes.

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

Find someone who loves you as much as Dr. Phil loved saying “Sugar Daddy web sites” in 2017. The episode that I watched on Sunday was from 2017 and Phil said either “Sugar Daddy” or “Sugar Baby” over a hundred times in 40 minutes. It all came across as being a bit silly.

On Monday, I watched an episode in which a woman and her 81 year-old fiancé accused her ex-husband of being abusive. Phil didn’t believe a word that the woman had to say and the woman proceeded to have a meltdown on stage.

On Saturday, I watched the first part of an interview with a young woman who thought she was pregnant with Jesus (as in literally Jesus). Special guest star Dr. Stork from The Doctors visited to tell her that she wasn’t pregnant. She accused him of lying. The audience gasped.

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Gun (Tubi)

I wrote about Gun here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Jenny Jones (YouTube)

On Tuesday morning, I watched an episode about young teenage girls who dated older teenage boys. The youngest of the girls was like 13 and she was dating a 17 year-old. Jenny got extremely flustered while interviewing the idiots on her stage.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Night Flight (Night Flight Plus)

On Saturday morning, I watched a 1988 interview with director Brian De Palma where he came across as being about as confident as could be. That’s probably because the interview was filmed after The Untouchables and before The Bonfire of the Vanities.

Nightmare Café (YouTube)

I wrote about Nightmare Café here!

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

The Vanishing Shadow (Night Flight Plus)

Our serial continued with chapter two, which I watched on Friday night. Having escaped using the Invisibility Ray at the end of the previous chapter, our hero spent this chapter being chased by villains who were carrying a Death Ray. It was a fun 30 minutes.

Welcome Back, Kotter (Tubi)

Gabe’s father came to visit and I wrote about it here!

Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)

This week’s episode as Yes, Prime Minister was very, very British as it resolved around Prime Minister Hacker selecting a new bishop. The entire episode was full of jokes about how the Church of England was less of a church and more of a social club. As someone of an Irish/Italian Catholic background, I had a good laugh.

The Phillies Now Lead The NLCS

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Dazzling Erin

With their 6-1 victory over the Diamondbacks tonight, the Phillies now lead the NLCS. Both the Phillies and the Astros are one victory away from playing each other in the World Series for the second year in a row.

We all know that we, as baseball fans, deserve better than that.

Rangers and the Diamondbacks can still turn this thing around. All it will take is one victory for each to re-tie the series and force a Game 7. Rangers and Diamondbacks, we’re depending on you!

Go Rangers!

Horror On TV: The Hitchhiker 5.24 “My Enemy” (dir by René Bonnière)

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Joan Severance stars as both a film star and a woman who is stuck in a go-nowhere marriage. Neither one is happy with her life and looking for an escape. Murder turns out to be a convenient solution. This episode has a bit of a strange ending, one that really doesn’t make a lot of sense if you think about it too much. But, fortunately, The Hitchhiker is there to impart a lesson.

(It’s a bit unfortunate that they apparently never did an episode that explored the Hitchhiker’s origins. I mean, the guy just pops up everywhere.)

This episode originally aired on November 25th, 1989.

The TSL Horror Grindhouse: Lord Shango (dir by Ray Marsh)

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The 1975 film, Lord Shango, takes place in a small, rural town in the Deep South, where the population appears to be firmly divided between those who worship at an evangelical Christian church and those who follow the Yoruba religion.

(To answer the obvious question, I have no idea how faithful this film is to the realities of the Yoruba religion.)

Jenny (Marlene Clark), who is a waitress at a local restaurant, is a member of the evangelical church, largely because her boyfriend is a member and he thinks that her attending the church will help her to get pregnant. Her daughter, Billie (Avis McCarther), is in love with Femi (Bill Overton), who is a follower of the Yoruba religion. One Sunday morning, while all the church people sings hymns, a series of baptisms are held in a nearby river. When it is time for Billie to baptized, Femi rushes into the water and objects. After he shoves her out of the river, the men of the church grab Femi and announce that the evil must be taken out of him through what appears to be a forced baptism. They force him under the water but, with Femi struggling, the end up holding him down for too long and Femi drowns.

Traumatized, Billie sinks into depression and Jenny grows disillusioned with the church, especially when the men who held Femi down refuse to take any responsibility for their actions. She also learns that her boyfriend, Memphis (Wally Taylor), had sex with Billie after Billie mistook him for being the spirit of Femi. When she finds Memphis praying in the church, she proceeds to yell and curse at him while he pathetically apologizes.

The next morning, Jenny wakes up to discover that Billie has run away, leaving behind a note that simply reads, “I can no longer live in your house.” When the men of the church again prove to be insensitive and ineffectual when it comes to finding out where Billie has gone (and instead are more concerned about why Jenny and Memphis has not been coming to the prayer meetings), Jenny turns to Femi’s friend, Jabo (Lawrence Cook). Under Jabo’s guidance, Jenny offers up a series of sacrifices to the local Yoruba priest (Maurice Woods) and asks for her daughter to return home.

The sacrifices appear to work. Billie returns home and reveals that she’s pregnant with a baby that she believes to be Femi’s and which Jenny believes to be Memphis’s. Jenny, now firmly under the control of Jabo, continues to make sacrifices and bad things continue to befall the men that she holds responsible for Femi’s death….

A frequently surreal film, Lord Shango is an interesting, if not always easy-to-decipher, portrayal of the battle of two different belief systems. While the evangelical Christianity that Jenny first followed could only promise an eventual reward, Jabo’s tribal religion offers her immediate reward and revenge. (Significantly, even though Billie was in love with Femi and wants to have his child, she has no interest in following his religion.) The film is often edited to provide a direct contrast between the staged cermonies of evangelical Christianity and the sensuality of the Yoruba religion. The film is full of Southern gothic atmosphere and is well-acted, particularly by Lawrence Cook and Marlene Clark. That said, the film is also frequently very difficult to follow. At times, one gets the feeling that the film is being surreal simply to be surreal and it’s hard to find a coherent message in the film’s collection of odd scenes and strange dialogue.

Lord Shango is a frequently intriguing film, as long as you’re willing to accept a little incoherence.

The Terror Experiment (2010, directed by George Mendeluk)

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Jedadiah Leland

At the Houston Federal Building, a disgruntled domestic terrorists sets off a bomb that not only rocks the building but also unleashes a government-designed nerve gas that turns anyone exposed to it into an animalistic, rage-fueled zombie who attacks everyone that they see. Soon, the building is full of former friends and co-workers who are now obsessed with ripping each other to shreds. The few people who were not exposed to the nerve gas are hiding on the top floor. Under the reluctant leadership of Cale (Jason London), they try to figure out how to escape from the building.

Meanwhile, on the outside, Police Chief Grosso (C. Thomas Howell) and Fire Chief Lohan (Lochlyn Munro) attempt to rescue as many people as they can before the building is blown up. The scientist on the scene (Robert Carradine) sees all of this as a research opportunity while a sinister government agent (Judd Nelson) conspires to keep word about what has happened from reaching the public.

With its images of suit-and-tie wearing madmen trying to kill everyone in the building, The Terror Experiment may seem like it would have much in common with The Belko Experiment (which came out a few years after Terror Experiment) but actually, The Terror Experiment is mash-up of Die Hard and 28 Days Later, with Jason London and Lochlyn Munro filling in for Bruce Willis and Reginald Veljohnson. With its frequent scenes of formerly normal people suddenly going mad and turning into homicidal maniacs, The Terror Experiment has its effective moments and Jason London does the best that anyone probably could with the role of the film’s reluctant hero. But the film also suffers because you never really get to know who any of these people were before they were trapped in the building and there aren’t really any emotional stakes to whether or not they’ll manage to get out. As well, the scenes outside the building often fill like filler that was included so that some “name” actors could be recruited to appear in the film. Howell, Carradine, and Nelson are all fine in their roles but the only thing they add to the movie is an opportunity to recreate the one of the most crowd-pleasing moments from the finale of Die Hard.

The Terror Experiment is occasionally diverting but it’s hard not to feel that it never really reaches its potential.

Retro Television Reviews: Welcome Back, Kotter 2.16 “Kotter and Son”

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week, Gabe’s father comes to visit!

Episode 2.16 “Kotter and Son”

(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 20th, 1977)

January 20th, 1977. While many Americans was celebrating the inauguration of Jimmy Carter and others were laying the groundwork for the election of 1980, teenagers all across America were tuning into ABC so that they could see what Barbarino was going to do this week.

The first image they saw on that Inauguration Day was Gabe and Julie sitting in the apartment and reading the newspaper.

“Know who this guys looks like?” Gabe asks, pointing to a picture in the paper.

“One of your relatives?” Julie replies, as if she’s already dreading what’s to come.

“My cousin, Sidney Kotter!” Gabe announces.

Cousin Sid was so stupid that he once locked his keys in the car. He called the auto club (the auto club again!) and they said they would be there in an hour. Sid replied, “Well, you can’t come here in an hour because it’s raining outside and my car’s a convertible and I left the top down.”

At school, Gabe teaches about World War II but he’s obviously distracted, not even acknowledging a joke told by Epstein. After the bell rings and the rest of the class leaves, Gabe tells the main four Sweathogs that he’s having problems at home. Everyone assumes that Julie has left him again but Gabe eventually confesses that he’s nervous because his father is coming for a visit from Florida. Barbarino says that Gabe has nothing to be nervous about.

“Vinny,” Gabe says, “Imagine your father is coming 14,000 miles to see his son! Imagine that!”

Barbarino tries to imagine. “Is he coming on a bus or a train?”

Gabe then compares his father the iceberg that hit the Titanic, which leads to the Sweathogs singing a song about an iceberg wearing a sports shirt.

The next morning, at the apartment, Julie struggles to convince Gabe to get out of bed and get ready for his father’s visit. While Gabe and Julie try to figure out why his father would come all the way to New York from Florida, the man himself, Charlie Kotter (Harold Gould), knocks on the front door. Charlie enters the apartment and tells Julie that she’s beautiful and then orders Gabe to “wash your teeth.” Charlie declares that the cab that picked him up at the airport was Gabe’s apartment and says that he’s glad that he’ll be staying with Gabe’s brother, Melvin. “Remember your brother, Melvin?” Charlie asks before then asking if Gabe has found a real job yet.

You may have guessed that Charlie and Gabe have a strained relationship and they do. Charlie thinks that Gabe is wasting his life, teaching remedial classes at his old high school in New York. Gabe thinks that he’s doing a good thing by teaching the Sweathogs. Charlie says that he wants Gabe to come back to Florida with him and join him in selling coconut-themed souvenirs. “Kotter and Son!” Charlie announces. Charlie then says that he’s going to school with Gabe so that he can finally see what Gabe does for a living. Gabe is not happy about this but finds himself powerless to stop his elderly father from following him out of the apartment.

Cut to the school, where Charlie has made friends with Mr. Woodman. As Mr. Woodman looks at the coconut paperweight that Charlie has given him, Charlie says, “I just want to see what my son does for a living.” Woodman asks Charlie to let him know if he ever figures it out.

In class, Gabe tries to teach but is nervous with Charlie constantly interrupting him. Finally, Charlie agrees to remain quiet so that he can observe and Gabe teaches about the Great Depression while pretending to be Walter Winchell doing a radio report. Gabe pretends to be a stockbroker who has lost everything. He pretends to be a bitter worker. He pretends to be Herbert Hoover. Charlie is skeptical of Gabe’s techniques but then Gabe proves that the Sweathogs now know and understand far more about the Great Depression than they did at the start of the class. Even Barbarino had debatably picked up some knowledge!

(“What did the Stock Market crash do to the price of products?” Gabe asks Barbarino. “What products?” Barbarino replies.)

Charlie asks Gabe to step out in the hallway and tells Gabe that he knows Gabe isn’t going to move down to Florida.

Gabe says, “Pop, I’m 30 years old. Just tell me your proud of me!”

“You should hear how much I talk about in Florida,” Charlies replies, “People down there are sick of hearing about you! Now, go teach your Sweathogs.”

Realizing that he’s not going to get anything better than that, Gabe returns to his classroom. As Gabe closes the door, Charlie says, “I’m proud of you, my son.”

Gabe opens the door and says, “I heard you.”

Awwwwwwww!

Back at the apartment, Charlie asks Julie if she ever heard about what happened to his brother, Saul Kotter. Julie is a bit more tolerant of Charlie telling jokes than she is when Gabe does it. Anyway, Saul was hit by a truck while crossing the street. A policeman put his jacket under Saul’s head and asked him if he was comfortable. Saul replied, “I make a good living.” As Charlie finishes his joke, Gabe steps in the apartment and asks, “Julie, have I ever told you about my Uncle Saul?”

This episode definitely worked, mostly because Harold Gould and Gabe Kaplan were totally believable as father and son. There were not a lot of Sweathog shenanigans this episode but the scenes between Gabe and his father were well-acted and ultimately rather sweet.

Next week: Gabe takes a second job to pay for dental work! Julie thinks that he’s having an affair with someone who actually likes his jokes.

Horror Scenes That I Love: Dick Miller In The Howling

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

A true scene stealer, the character actor Dick Miller was a Navy veteran who went to City College of New York, Columbia University, and New York University and eventually earned a Phd in psychology. Even as Miller was earning his degree, he was already appearing on stage. In 1952, he moved to California to pursue a career as a writer and ended up becoming one of the most beloved members of Roger Corman’s stock company. Famously, in 1952’s Apache Woman, he played both a Native American and the townsperson who shot him.

The many directors who started their careers under Roger Corman continued to cast Dick Miller in their own films, keeping Miller busy as a character actor. Miller worked with everyone from Martin Scorsese to Joe Dante to James Cameron to Steven Spielberg to Jim Wynorski. Miller often played characters named Walter Paisley, a reference to his first starring role in Corman’s A Bucket of Blood.

In this scene from 1981’s The Howling, Dick Miller lets us know what’s truly going on with the werewolves.

Horror Novel Review: Ski Weekend by R.L. Stine

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Woo hoo! IT’S A SKI WEEKEND!

Of course, this ski weekend is taking place in an R.L. Stine novel so maybe don’t get too excited just yet. Bad things are probably going to happen. A group of friends from Shadyside High decide to spend the weekend skiing because, apparently, every form of entertainment and leisure was located only an hour or two from Shadyside. If you live in Shadyside, you can go skiing or you can go to the beach or you can to summer camp or maybe even explore the bayous. You just have to drive for an hour or two.

(Okay, I can’t remember if Shadyside has a bayou nearby but I imagine it does.)

Ariel is big into science. Her friend Doug is a troubled tough guy with a heart of Gold. Shannon is Doug’s girlfriend, who is pretty and what else do you need to be? Originally, Ariel’s boyfriend Randy was a part of the group but Randy, apparently being a Hang Time fan, decided that he would rather leave and go play basketball than spend his time risking his life on the slopes. I don’t blame Randy. Do you have any idea how many people die in skiing accident every year?

Anyway, after Randy and Ariel have a big fight and Randy drives off in his car, an older guy named Red pops up out of nowhere and comforts her. Everyone is so touched by the concern of this weird older guy that they’ve never seen before that they agree to give Red a ride to his home. Unfortunately, they get stranded in a blizzard and are forced to take shelter at a farm house that is owned by a redneck named Lou and his wife, Eva. Lou is kind of a perv but everyone decides that it would be better to stay with him than to sit out in the car and freeze to death.

Well, of course, it turns out that there’s more going on here than just a car getting stuck in a blizzard. Lou turns out to be dangerous but it also turns out that Lou is not the only person in the farmhouse who has secrets. It looks like Randy made the right decision leaving to play basketball.

First published in 1991, Ski Weekend has some chilling moments that really capture the idea of being stranded somewhere and not sure of when you’re ever going to get to leave. There’s a bad person who wears a ski mask and seriously, ski masks are pure nightmare fuel! That said, this is another R.L. Stine film that is dependent upon a group of people doing something monumentally stupid. Seriously, it’s nice that Red asked Ariel if she was okay but there was nothing about his actions that really required the Shadyside kids to go out of their way to give Red a ride home. Today, they would just get him an Uber. Remember that the next time that people say all of this new technology has ruined the world!