Monthly Archives: August 2023

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.27 “Third Wheel/Grandmother’s Day/Second String Mom”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986!  The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, the second season of The Love Boat comes to a close.

Episode 2.27 “Third Wheel/Grandmother’s Day/Second String Mom”

(Dir by Gordon Farr, originally aired on May 12th, 1979)

 It’s time for a special Mother’s Day cruise!

Gopher is excited because his mother, Roz (Ethel Merman), and his father, Eliot (an unwell-looking Robert Cummings), will be on the ship.  As quickly becomes clear, Gopher takes after his mother.  Like her son, Roz is impulsive, loves show business, and has issues with recognizing boundaries.  As soon as she boards the boat, she and Gopher are singing songs and imitating the Marx brothers.  Eliot, on the other hand, is quiet and reserved.  Interesting enough, Eliot has quite a bit in common with Captain Stubing.  Seeing Eliot and Stubing interact, the viewer suddenly understands why Gopher is always looking for the Captain’s approval.  Gopher and Eliot have a distant relationship and Gopher now sees Stubing as being more of a father figure to him than his own father.  Awwwww, how sad!

What’s even more sad is that it is easy to see that Eliot would like to be closer to his son.  He just doesn’t know how to go about it and he knows that he can’t compete with Roz’s carefree personality.  When Gopher and Roz agree to perform a number at a special Mother’s Day variety show, Eliot becomes jealous.  He claims that he’s worried that Roz is somehow going to embarrass Gopher in front of his co-workers but it’s obvious that Eliot is the one who is embarrassed by his lack of a relationship with his son.  It all works out in the end, of course and Gopher becomes closer to both of his parents.

Meanwhile, Mac O’Brian (Barry Nelson, best-known for being the first actor to play James Bond and for playing Mr. Ullman in Kubrick’s The Shining) is looking forward to a life of retirement.  Except, his wife, Maggie (Nanette Fabray), keeps having dizzy spells.  Doc examines her and announces that, despite the fact that she’s nearly 60, Maggie’s pregnant!  Maggie worries about how tell her husband, who has made it clear that he feels that he’s earned a rest from worrying about children.  At first, Mac doesn’t take the news well but never fear.  Things work out in the end because it’s The Love Boat!

Finally, Mary Noble (Michele Tobin) and her sister, Judy Noble (Shelly Juttner), are on their cruise with their father (Ken Berry) and his new wife (Beth Howland).  At first, they go out of their way to be rude to their new stepmother but eventually, they realize how happy she makes their father and they come to accept her.  Once again, everyone gets a happy ending on The Love Boat.

Despite the fact that it featured Gopher’s parents and offered up some insight into what made one of the show’s main characters tick, this episode of The Love Boat was pretty forgettable.  The success or failure of a show like this all comes down to chemistry and none of the guest stars on this particular episode seemed to have any.  Robert Cummings, in particular, looked absolutely miserable throughout the entire cruise while Barry Nelson and Nanette Fabray seemed more like strangers having a random hook-up than a longtime married couple.  I did like the storyline about the stepparent but that’s just because I could relate to the two sisters because I know me and my sisters had a tendency to get a bit bratty whenever we felt anyone was trying to take our mom away from us.  But, in the end, even this storyline felt like something The Love Boat had done better in the past.

Sadly, the second season of The Love Boat came to end with not a bang but a whimper.  Next week, we start season 3!

Music Video of the Day: (Flesh & Blood) Sacrifice by Poison (1991, directed by Marty Callner)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

There some videos that you pick for video of the day because you really like the song or the band or even the director.  There are other videos that you pick because it’s midnight and you suddenly realize that you still haven’t picked one yet.  The videos that fall into the latter category usually feature competent bands in relatively simple performance clips.

(Flesh & Blood) Sacrifice was one of the singles come off of Poison’s third studio album, Flesh & Blood.  This album was the first part of Poison’s attempt to move away from their hair metal image and embrace more serious themes.  It turned out to be one of their best-selling albums, even though the band itself still found itself soon replaced on MTV by groups like Nirvana and Pearl Jam.

This music video was directed by Marty Callner, who was one of those directors who worked with just about everyone.  If you were famous, you worked with Marty Callner.

Enjoy!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.9 “The Dancer/Nobody’s There”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

The past two weeks of Fantasy Island saw Mr. Roarke getting married (and losing his wife) and Tattoo getting his heart broken.  Will this week’s episode be just as dramatic?  Read on to find out!

Episode 3.9 “The Dancer/Nobody’s There”

(Dir by Gene Nelson, originally aired on November 17th, 1979)

For the third week in a row, this episode of Fantasy Island features Mr. Roarke and Tattoo heading straight to the docks so that they can meet their guests without making any time for any Roarke/Tattoo banter.  On the one hand, the scenes where Tattoo would tell Roarke about his latest scheme were always a bit awkward because of the obvious bad feelings between Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize.  On the other hand, they did reveal that Tattoo had a life outside of just following around Mr. Roarke.  I will be a little bit sad if they’re gone forever.

As for this week’s fantasies, neither one adds up too much.

Big Jake Farley (Max Baer, Jr.) is a big, strapping cowboy who will tell anyone who will listen that he’s from “Big D.”  (“It’s a mite south of Heaven.”)  I’m from Big D too and I will admit that I’m a bit sensitive when it comes to the whole “All Texans are cowboys” stereotype so I pretty much spent this entire fantasy in cringe mode.  Big Jake wants to meet Valeska de Marco (Carol Lynley), the ballerina whose hard work and perfectionism inspired him when he was just a penniless cowpoke.  Now that Big Jake is a wealthy rancher and oilman, he wants to marry Valeska and take her back to the ranch.  Unfortunately, Valeska is already engaged to Stuffy Q. Borington III (Howard Morton).  When Valeska suffers a career ending injury, will Big Jake be able to convince her to come open an acting school in Big D and will Mr. Roarke help everyone’s fantasy come true?

You already know the answer.  Everyone gets a happy ending on Fantasy Island, except for that time Mr. Roarke got married.

Eh.  Considering that this fantasy combined several of my favorite things — ballet, Texas, tropical islands — it’s a bit of a shock just how boring it turned out to be.  The main problem was that there was zero chemistry between Baer and Lynley.  Both of them came across as if they would rather be anywhere but on Fantasy Island.

As for the other fantasy, it featured Toni Tennille as Betty Foster, a former fast food worker turned private investigator.  Her fantasy was to solve a big case.  With Roarke’s help, Betty was hired by Contessa Christina Kastronova (Stepfanie Kramer) to accompany the Contessa to the reading her cousin’s will.  The Contessa felt her cousin had been murdered and she feared she might be next.  Betty pretended to be the Contessa during both the reading of the will and the subsequent night spent in a scary, dark house with all of the Contessa’s relatives.  Anyway, Dick Sargent turned out to be the murderer and Betty realized that she’d rather marry one of the Contessa’s relatives than continue on as a private eye.

As far as this fantasy went, I liked the scary house and I found the scene where Roarke and Tattoo debated which one of them should stay behind with Betty to be amusing.  (Tattoo, of course, ended up having to stay.)  But the mystery didn’t add up too much.  To be honest, as soon as Dick Sargent showed up, I knew he was going to be the bad guy.  I mean, I’ve seen Clonus.

Especially when compared to the previous two episodes, this episode was fairly forgettable.  Everyone got their fantasy but no one made much of an impression.

Film Review: John Wick: Chapter Four (dir by Chad Stahelski)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yesterday, I finally watched the hit film of March 2023, John Wick: Chapter Four.  It left me overwhelmed and I mean that in the best possible way.

The film picks up where the last film left off.  John Wick (Keanu Reeves), the dog-loving, formerly retired professional hit man, is still traveling the world and killing the leaders of the High Table.  As becomes apparent from the start of the film, it’s a bit of a fool’s errand as killing one leader only leads to another leader being installed.  When John travels to Morocco to kill the leader known as “The Elder,” he discovers that the Elder he knew is gone and has been replaced with a new Elder.  He still kills the new Elder because that’s what John Wick does.  He kills people.  He’s a literal killing machine, one who audiences like because he loves dogs, is still mourning for his dead wife, and he’s played by Keanu Reeves.  On paper, the relentless and ruthless character of John Wick is horrifying.  But, when he’s played by Keanu Reeves, he becomes the killing machine that audiences can’t help but love.

The arrogant and brilliantly named Marquis Vincent Bisset de Gramont (Bill Skarsgard, giving a wonderfully hissable performance) is currently in charge of the efforts to track down and kill John.  The Marquis establishes himself as being evil by not only killing Charon (Lance Reddick) but also blowing up the Continental.  Upset by the murder of Charon and the destruction of his business, Winston (Ian McShane, playing his role with the perfect amount of wounded dignity) tells John that he can end his entire war with the High Table by challenging the Marquis to a duel.  Unfortunately, to do that, John has to convince another criminal organization to sponsor him and just about criminal organization on the planet wants John did.  To make things even more difficult, the Marquis has brought the blind assassin, Caine (the incredible Donnie Yen), out of retirement to track down John.  Caine and John are old friends but Caine knows that his daughter will be killed unless he kills John.

Clocking in at 169 minutes, John Wick: Chapter Four is a big, flamboyant, and at times overwhelming production.  John Wick travels across the world and every country in which he finds himself is home to someone who wants him dead.  And since everyone that John Wick knows seems to have a unlimited supply of guards and henchmen, the fights are nonstop and the violence is over the top but the film is so energetic and cheerfully excessive that it’s never boring.  Each fight scene feels like it could be a separate film on its own, with each member of the cast getting a chance to show off what they can do.  The water-filled fight in a Berlin night club is the film’s best moment but it’s closely followed by an extended combat sequence that’s set in a hotel in Japan.  With its vivid cinematography and ornate production design and its spectacular stunts, John Wick Chapter 4 is a work of pure cinema, an thrill ride of glorious excess.  Along with providing an ending to John Wick’s story, it also pays tribute to everything that audiences love about action cinema.  It’s a film for people who love action and, even more importantly, it’s film that has as much love for its audience as it does for itself.

The film ends on a note of apparent finality, one that becomes more ambiguous the more that one examines it.  This may be the last chapter of John Wick’s story or it may not.  (Considering the film’s box office and critical success, I suspect that it will not be the last.)  John Wick Chapter Four serves as a fitting (if perhaps temporary) end to the saga and also a tribute to both the action aesthetic and Keanu Reeves’s innate likability. 

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.3 “The Gospel According to Silk” and 6.4 “The Enforcer”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000.  The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, Silk’s aunt dies and Julie nearly kills another player.  It’s a dangerous time in Indiana!

Episode 6.3 “The Gospel According To Silk”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 7th, 2000)

The team is confused as to why Silk never wants to go to kareoke night with them.  They decide to follow Silk to find out what he does after each game.  They discover that he goes to a church so, of course, they decide to follow him inside so they can find out what he does in there.  Uhmmm …. it’s a church.  What do they think he’s doing in there?  Seriously, the people were the worst about not giving anyone any privacy.

Anyway, it turns out that Silk and his Aunt Charlotte (Jennifer Holliday) sing in a gospel choir.  (Have I mentioned how much I dislike gospel music?)  While sitting in the church, the team demands to know why Silk hadn’t been telling them that he sings in the choir.  Uhmmm …. people, you’re in a church!  You’re interrupting a rehearsal!  You’re in a place of worship!  LEAVE SILK ALONE!  He doesn’t have to tell you about every single aspect of his life.

Anyway, now that Aunt Charlotte has been introduced to everyone, she does what every guest star on this show does and she goes to the school to watch the Tornadoes practice.  Charlotte also tosses the ball and makes a few baskets.  Charlotte explains that she can do anything with “faith and a little prayer.”  Then Charlotte goes home, has a heart attack, and, despite all of Silk’s prayers, dies.

Uh-oh, Silk is losing his faith!  Fear not, though, Charlotte’s ghost appears to him at church and tells him not to despair.  Shows like Hang Time were always a bit cringey whenever they attempted to deal with religious faith but Danso Gordon did a good job portraying Silk’s pain and his eventual acceptance of Charlotte’s passing.

As for the B-plot, Coach K and Mary Beth competed to win a car by seeing who could stay in it the longest.  In the end, they both lost because they were both outside of the car when time ran out.  Or something.  It was dumb and it definitely felt out-of-place in this episode.

Episode 6.4 “The Enforcer”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 14th, 2000)

“I was watching the tape of our first three games,” Coach K tells the team at practice, “and I wasn’t happy with what I saw….”

Uhmmm, Coach K, the first episode of the sixth season had the team on the verge of making the playoffs and bragging about their undefeated season.  Why are you only now watching the tape of your first three games?

(The real answer is that NBC showed the final 26 episodes out-of-order.  The fun answer is that Coach K is just extremely slow.)

Coach K is worried that Julie isn’t being aggressive enough.  In their upcoming game against Montrose, the Tornadoes will be facing Dave Carter (Riley Smith), a player who is so good that he’s going to go straight from high school to the NBA despite the fact that he looks way too short to be a basketball player.  Dave’s NBA dreams are shattered with Julie knocks him down to the floor and he tears some ligament in his knee.

Guilt-stricken, Julie loses her competitive edge.  Fortunately, when she goes to visit the wheelchair-bound Dave in the hospital, he tells her that he doesn’t hate her and that she has to “take the shot.”  So, Julie gets back to normal and Dave …. well, I guess he’s going to be stuck in Indiana for the rest of his life.  As always, the important thing is that Julie’s doing better.

Meanwhile, a malfunctioning ATM gives Kristy thousands of dollars.  Unfortunately, it also causes both she and Mary Beth to have bad luck until they give the money away.  As bad as their luck may be, at least they weren’t put in a wheelchair by Julie.  Seriously, poor Dave!

I’m being a bit snarky but this wasn’t a bad episode.  Learning how to deal with guilt is an important lesson and Hang Time deserves some credit for addressing it.  That said, it’s still hard not to notice that the NBA-bound Dave didn’t really appear to be that good of a player in the first place.  I mean, considering that Dave, who we were told was the best player in the history of Indiana high school basketball, didn’t appear to be better than any of the Deering players, shouldn’t the entire cast by NBA-bound?

Next week: Silk is offered a scholarship and a special guest stars shows up for movie night!

RIP, William Friedkin

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

We have sad news to report.  The great director William Friedkin has passed away at the age of 87.

Friedkin directed two of the most influential films of all time — 1971’s The French Connection and 1973’s The Exorcist.  Though his later films were often overshadowed by those two films, To Live and Die In L.A., Killer Joe, and Rampage are all fine films in their own right.  His final film, The Caine Mutiny Court Martial, is scheduled to premiere at the Venice International Film Festival in September. 

Not only was Friedkin a talented director but he was also a wonderful interview subject, one who said exactly what was on his mind and without much worry about upsetting or challenging the sensibilities of his audience.  His autobiography should be required reading for any serious student of American film history.

Here is the legendary car chase from The French Connection.

William Friedkin Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. The French Connection
  2. The Exorcist
  3. Self Control
  4. The Guardian
  5. Blue Chips
  6. 12 Angry Men
  7. Killer Joe

 

Monday Live Tweet Alert: Join Us For Superfights and Death Wish!

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

As some of our regular readers undoubtedly know, I am involved in hosting a few weekly live tweets on twitter and occasionally Mastodon.  I host #FridayNightFlix every Friday, I co-host #ScarySocial on Saturday, and I am one of the five hosts of Mastodon’s #MondayActionMovie!  Every week, we get together.  We watch a movie.  We snark our way through it.

Tonight, for #MondayActionMovie, the film will be 1996’s Superfights!  Selected and hosted by Bunny Hero, this movie has the word “super” right in the title!  So, you know it has to be good!

Following #MondayActionMovie, Brad and Sierra will be hosting the #MondayMuggers live tweet.  We will be watching the original 1974 Death Wish, starring Charles Bronson!  The film is on Prime!

It should make for a night of fun viewing and I invite all of you to join in.  If you want to join the live tweets, just hop onto Mastodon, pull up Superfights on YouTube, start the movie at 8 pm et, and use the #MondayActionMovie hashtag!  Then, at 10 pm et, switch over to Twitter and Prime, start Death Wish, and use the #MondayMuggers hashtag!  The live tweet community is a friendly group and welcoming of newcomers so don’t be shy.