Yesterday, I used the old President Elect simulator to determine who would win a presidential election between Frankenstein’s Monster, Dracula, and The Mummy. Dracula crushed both of his opponents, mostly because neither Frankenstein nor The Mummy could really speak.
Today, I decided to see if Frankenstein’s Monster would have had better luck if the Democrats had nominated him to run against Richard M. Nixon in 1960. In the real world, John F. Kennedy narrowly defeated Nixon, despite the popularity of Dwight Eisenhower. (Kennedy had some extra help in Illinois.) Nixon had the experience and the depth of policy knowledge but Kennedy had the charisma that Nixon lacked. After logging into President Elect, I imagined a situation in which the Democrats of 1960 turned not to Kennedy but to Frankenstein’s Monster. Just as he had with Dracula, I imagined that Frankenstein would run on a largely non-partisan platform that put strong emphasis on fire prevention. As well, I had to give Frankenstein low scores on his speaking ability and his ability to stay cool under pressure. But he did get a high personal magnetism score because people have been interested in him for over 200 years. Would that be enough to beat the similarly challenged Nixon?
No, it would not.
Just as with the campaign against Dracula, it was obvious who was going to win from the start. Frankenstein’s Monster barely campaigned and, unlike Kennedy, he refused to debate Nixon.
On election night, the first result told the story.
The good news is that, unlike when he ran against Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster actually did manage carry a state. In fact, he carried two. He won both Mississippi and Georgia, receiving 51% of the vote in both. Every other state, he lost to Nixon.
The final vote tally:
Managing to win 43% of the vote while being unable to speak or be around fire is actually pretty impressive. But Frankenstein’s Monster still could not beat Richard Nixon.
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