Monthly Archives: February 2022

Lifetime Film Review: The Wrong Blind Date (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Looks like he was the wrong blind date!”

You tell them, Vivica A. Fox!

The Wrong Blind Date is the latest of the Lifetime “Wrong” films.  Like all of the “Wrong” films, it was directed by David DeCoteau and it features Vivica A. Fox delivering the film’s title.  It may seem somewhat silly to those who don’t regularly watch these films but, if you’re a fan of the “Wrong” series, you will literally sit through just about anything just for the chance to hear Vivica A. Fox say the movie’s name.  The film’s realize this too.  Lifetime films, at their best, are very self-aware.  None are as self-aware as the “Wrong” films.

In this one, Fox has a supporting role.  She plays Beth, who works as a therapist.  One of her patients is Laura (Meredith Thomas).  Laura has got a lot to deal with.  Her daughter, Hannah (Sofia Masson), has just started going to college and is dating Noah (Rainer Dawn).  Laura and her friend, Angela (Lesli Kay), are trying to launch their own design firm.  Laura is also in the process of getting a divorce from her husband, an abusive ex-cop named Michael (Clark Moore).  Michael is controlling and temperamental and he’s also determined to convince Laura not to go through with the divorce.

When Laura puts her profile on a dating website, she’s shocked by the number of replies that she gets.  One of those replies is from Kevin (Matthew Pohlkamp).  Kevin is handsome and charming and he lives in Beverly Hills.  He lists his job as investment banking.  Kevin has money and he’s so interested in Laura that he even finds a way to contact her after she deletes her dating profile!  At first, Laura thinks that Kevin’s behavior is a little stalkerish but then she agrees to go on one date with him.  And that one date leads to another and then another and then….

But wait a minute!  This is a Lifetime film!  Even more importantly, this is a “Wrong” film.  Those of us who have spent years viewing these movies know better than to trust any perfect man who claims to be wealthy.  Laura may not realize that there’s obviously something sinister about Kevin but we do!  Unfortunately, Laura is so used to her husband acting like a jerk that she’s overly impressed when Kevin does things like refuse to pick a fight with an obnoxious drunk.  It’s only after Laura leaves that Kevin returns to the bar and beats the man up.

Yes, Kevin has some problems.  He’s the wrong blind date.  And it soon becomes apparent that he’s lying about who he is, where he lives, and what he even does for a living.  It’s not a spoiler to tell you that Michael has hired Kevin to fool his wife, all as a part of a rather silly plan to convince Laura to take him back.  But when Kevin starts to become obsessed with Laura, not even Michael can stand in his way.

These films are predictable but fun.  We all know better than to trust Kevin but that doesn’t make it any less enjoyable to watch as Hannah vainly tries to convince her mother that she needs to do a little more research into her new boyfriend’s background.  And, of course, there’s the murders.  There’s always a murder or two in a Lifetime film.  Mereidth Thomas and Sofia Masson are convincing as mother and daughter and Matthew Pohlkamp is credible whether being charming or unhinged.  And, of course, Vivica A. Fox says the name of the movie.  It’s Lifetime, what’s not to enjoy?

TV Review: The Walking Dead 11.9 “No Other Way” (dir by Jon Amiel)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Well, so much for The Reapers.

The Walking Dead‘s 11th season returned last Sunday.  As you can probably guess from the fact that it’s taken me until Friday to get around to watching and reviewing it, it didn’t exactly arrive with the type of fanfare that previously greeted every premiere of The Walking Dead.  Not to belabor a point that I’ve been making since this season began but it’s been a while since The Walking Dead was really a big deal.  It definitely had a good run, especially during the early seasons.  However, I don’t think anyone will deny that the later seasons have been frustratingly uneven.  Season 11 is the show’s last, though the future does hold the promise of Walking Dead movies and perhaps a Walking Dead anthology series.  The Walking Dead may be coming to an end but it’s definitely not dead yet.

When Season 11 started, it appeared that the majority of the episodes were going to center around the Alexandrians battling The Reapers.  I wasn’t particularly looking forward to that, as the Reapers weren’t really that interesting.  Beyond all of the babbling about religion, there wasn’t that much to separate them from The Whisperers or the Saviors.  So, as you can imagine, I was happy that this episode featured what appeared to be the nearly complete and total destruction of the Reapers.  Maggie and her group ruthlessly and systemically destroyed every Reaper that they came across, with the exception of Leah.  Gabriel killed a sniper, which leads me to wonder why Gabriel still wears his collar when its obvious that it means nothing to him.  Negan watched as Maggie killed every Reaper that she saw and he wisely decided that it was probably time for him to head off on his own before Maggie got around to killing him.  Indeed, the interesting thing about Maggie is that we really only cheer for her because we know her and we’ve been conditioned to be on her side.  She’s just as ruthless as the show’s bad guys and she uses the exact same justifications that were previously used by everyone from The Governor to Negan to Pope.  Even the fact that she’s mourning Glenn doesn’t really make her all that different from those she’s attacked.  In the world of The Walking Dead, everyone has lost someone.

(And really, it was pretty much Rick’s fault that Glenn died.)

Meanwhile, Alexandria was hit by a violent storm and a walker invasion but, as usual, everyone there managed to survive.  Afterwards. Maggie, Darryl, and the gang finally returned home.  However, also approaching Alexandria were Eugene and the Commonwealth.

The show then jumped forward 6 months.  Maggie was still in charge of Alexandria but it was impossible not to notice that Alexandria no longer looked as clean and peaceful as it once did.  Surrounding the town were the soldiers of Commonwealth.  And leading the soldiers was …. DARYL DIXON!

Now, that is an effective cliffhanger!

So, what’s going on here?  Is this yet another case of Daryl going undercover (booo!) or has Daryl truly changed sides?  I’m hoping that he actually did change sides, just because the whole undercover Daryl thing has been done to death and I think that Maggie and Darryl have a more interesting dynamic as rivals than as allies.  Given the history of the characters, it’s easy to imagine a scenario where Daryl might chafe at Maggie’s leadership style.  Or perhaps Darryl truly believes that the Commonwealth is offering up a better society than what’s going on at Alexandria.  I mean, honestly, Alexandria does require a bit of commitment on the part of its citizens.  I probably would chose not to live in Alexandria.

So, which is it?  Is Daryl a friend or a foe?  We’ll find out over the upcoming weeks!

Film Review: No Exit (dir by Damien Power)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

After she learns that her mother is in the hospital and possibly on the verge of death, Darby (Hannah Rose Liu) breaks out of drug rehab, steals a car, and starts driving to Salt Lake City.  However, what Darby doesn’t know is that she’s also driving straight into a blizzard.  Soon, Darby is forced to take shelter at a nearby state park visitors center.

Darby isn’t the only person seeking shelter that night.  There’s a married couple, Ed (Dennis Haysbert) and Sandi (Dale Dickey).  Ed is a veteran of the Marine Corp while Sandi is a nurse.  There’s Ash (Danny Ramirez), who has the friendliest smile to ever be seen in the middle of a blizzard.  And then there’s Lars (David Rysdahl), who is distinguished by his long hair and his nervous mannerisms.  When Darby first enters the visitors center, Lars is curled up in a corner and loudly snoring.

And then there’s Jay (Mila Harris).  Jay is a child who happens to be bound and gagged in one of the vehicles parked outside.  When Darby discovers her, she has to not only save the child’s life but also figure out which one of the people in the visitors center is responsible for kidnapping her.

Clocking in at a brisk 90 minutes, No Exit is full of twists and turns.  I’ll do my best to keep spoilers to a minimum in this review.  Not all of the film’s twists work, of course.  There’s a few moments that, in hindsight, didn’t exactly make sense.  After watching the film, you could spend hours debating why certain characters did the things that they did, assuming that you were so inclined and that you could actually find anyone else willing to sit through your analysis.  However, the film itself is so quickly paced and well-directed that it doesn’t matter that the story itself is occasionally a bit implausible.  From the minute Darcy breaks out of that rehab, the film captures the viewer’s attention and it doesn’t let go until the final credits start to roll up the screen.  This is an entertaining B-movie, one that makes good use of its isolated location and its talented cast.  Havana Rose Liu especially deserves a lot of credit for her sympathetic lead performance as Darby.  Darby is a cynic and a survivor but she still has enough humanity inside of her to risk her life for a stranger.

The film looks great, with its scenes of cars driving through the raging snow storm and the film’s cast gathered in the somewhat tacky visitors center.  All of the snow falling reminded me of i’m thinking of ending things and I have to admit that a part of me kept expecting there to be some sort of a metaphysical twist towards the end of the film.  I found myself wondering if the visitors center would be revealed to be Hell, which wasn’t a totally outlandish idea when one considers that the film shares the same name as Sartre’s famous play.  But no, No Exit is a thriller that deals with concerns that are very much earthbound.  It’s an well-executed thriller and an entertaining way to spend 90 minutes.  It can currently be viewed on Hulu.

Music Video of the Day: The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe (1997, directed by Mark Neale)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

For the life of me, I cannot remember what made me think Everything Zen by Bush was the worst song of the 90s while this song exists.

I guess I forced The Freshmen out of my head, despite the fact that it was inescapable in 1997.  When the song came out, everyone assumed that it was about a rape that was followed by a suicide but the The Verve Pipe’s lead singer later said that the song was inspired by his girlfriend getting an abortion when they were younger and that the lyrics about Valium were poetic license.  (The amount of valium mentioned in the song would not be fatal.)  Abortion is a serious subject matter and there’s been a lot of good songs written about that very topic.  Of course, this derivative dirge isn’t exactly one of them.

A quick google search revealed that there are a lot of people who are under the impression that the “I can’t be held responsible” line is meant to be taken literally.  Though I’m not a fan of the song, I will say that I don’t think we’re necessarily meant to agree with the all of the lyrics.  I think that the “Can’t be held responsible,” is just something the song’s narrator is telling himself as a way to deal with his guilt.  That this fairly obvious point was missed by both critics and fans says more about them than it does the song.

This video is pure 90s angst, from the room with the one light bulb to the band slowly appearing behind the lead singer.  Angst was big in the 90s, though there was eventually enough of an angst backlash that it led to the era of the boy bands and pop queens.  Still, those of us who grew up in the 90s can’t be held responsible.  We won’t be held responsible.  People listened in the first place.

Enjoy!

International Film Review: Don’t Kill Me (dir by Andrea De Sica)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6N9Oq89Cmo

Don’t Kill Me, an Italian film that is currently available on Netflix, opens with two teenagers in a car.  Robin (Rocca Fasano) is driving.  His girlfriend, Mirta (Alice Pagani), is in the passenger’s seat.  Robin is driving fast and erratically.  In fact, he nearly crashes the car more than a few times.  This is because Robin is driving with his eyes closed, forcing Mirta to shout directions at him.  It’s almost as if Robin wants Mirta to come to a violent end.

Eventually, they end up in a quarry.  Having taken a break from attempting to crash the car, Robin wants Mirta to take a drug with him.  Mirta’s never tried the drug before.  She’s nervous, even though Robin assures her that it will be a wonderful experience.  Mirta finally agrees but requests, “Please don’t kill me.”

Yeah, good luck with that.

Of course, Mirta dies.  Mirta’s body is sealed up in her family’s vault.  A few hours after the funeral, a very confused and angry Mirta smashs her way out of the vault.  Dazed, she wanders back to her old house.  She’s definitely not alive but she’s not completely dead either.  Instead, she is one of what the film calls “the Overdead.”  She’s nearly immortal.  At one point, she gets shot several times and, while it’s not a pleasant experience, it also doesn’t come anywhere close to killing her.  She still has her memories of what life was like before she died and, to judge from the other members of the Overdead who she meets, it appears that she won’t ever age.  Unfortunately, being one of the Overdead also means that if she doesn’t regularly drink the blood of the living, she’ll start to decay.  Starvation is the only way to destroy a member of the Overdead.  There’s a secret group of men who have spent centuries tracking down and starving the Overdead.  Those men are soon chasing after Mirta.

Don’t Kill Me is at its strongest during its first half, when the film skips through time and the emphasis is on atmosphere and ennui.  The scene where Mirta breaks through the crypt carries hints of Jean Rollin’s Living Dead Girl and, much like Rollin’s best films, the first half of Don’t Kill Me often focuses on both the importance and the mystery of how we recall things.  Meanwhile, the scenes of Mirta wandering through the countryside and prowling the clubs for food are reminiscent of Jess Franco’s Female Vampire.  The first half of the film feels like a tribute to the wonderful Eurohorror of the past.  Unfortunately, the film starts to lose its way once Mirta is captured by the secret society that’s trying to destroy her.  In its second half, it just becomes another film about escaping from a military base.  Don’t Kill Me is based on a YA novel and it’s obviously meant to be the first in a series of films about Mirta’s life as one of the Overdead.  As a result, the film’s ending is a bit unsatisfactory.  For all the build-up, it sputters to a “to be continued” style conclusion.

That said, there was enough that worked about Don’t Kill Me that I’m willing to forgive what didn’t work.  I may be alone in that as most of the online reactions that I’ve seen towards this film have been overwhelmingly negative.  Well, so be it.  There was enough atmosphere to keep me interested.  Alice Pagani gave a pretty good and sympathetic performance as the conflicted Mirta and Fabrizio Ferracane, as the man determined to capture and starve her, was enjoyably villainous.  Don’t Kill Me may not be for everyone but it worked for me.

How ‘Bout Them “Apples”?

Posted on by Ryan C. (fourcolorapocalypse)

Desmond Reed is a New England cartoonist whose work I’d been borderline fascinated with since first coming across his self-published debut, Those Dark New Hampshire Woods, some years ago, but it was his later ‘zine The Funnies that pushed that fascination over the border — in fact, it’s fair to say the short-form adventures of his eminently-flexible coterie of lovable goofballs positively hooked me, and so I was gratified to see their return in his latest (also self-published) mini, Apples, which builds on the strengths of its predecessor without in any way appreciably upsetting the — errrrmmmm — apple cart. Sorry.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for breaking with formula and tradition, but when you’ve got a good thing going, seriously — what’s the point? And so our fictitious friends Wallace T.J., Mona Gertrude, Ralph Jonathan, Gil Christopher, and Henrietta Susan are back, and doing what they do best, which is to say, serving as lovable comedic ciphers to the shit we all went through at one point in our lives — or may still be going through, if you’re fortunate enough to be a couple of decades younger than your curmudgeonly critic here.

Nominal personal growth appears to have occurred among our cast since their last go-’round, but it’s kinda hard to tell, and not especially relevant either way — which sounds like a “diss” (or whatever) but isn’t, given that it’s their relatable reactions to exaggerated situations and/or exaggerated reactions to relatable situations that give this comic its charm aplenty, so “character arcs” of any sort are rather surplus to requirements here. Quick-fire vignettes about popular themes like drug use, depression, co-habitation, shit jobs, and everyday life’s little highs and lows are the order of the day, then, and while that may not sound terribly ambitious, few do them better than does Reed, so seriously — check your coolness at the door and just relax and have fun.

Ah, yes — that dread word. Some time back certain quarters of the comics community (those who take it upon themselves to police the medium’s general trajectory for reasons known only to themselves) decided that “fun” was an outmoded concept and that cartoonists should be aiming their sights “higher,” but I’ve never gotten on board with myself that since fun is, ya know, fun. I’m pleased to report Reed appears to have ignored this unspoken dictate as well, and has instead honed his comedic chops and gently acerbic sense of timing to its full potential and is now ready to stand as one of the more unique funnybook-makers in the contemporary scene. The self-appointed “intelligentsia” may consider that to be a truly trivial pursuit, but who the hell cares? Around these parts, we ain’t ashamed to admit that good times are a good thing.

Which isn’t to say this comic doesn’t skirt around the edges of “heavier” material, but it does so in a way that’s still designed, ultimately, to be more reflective of the struggles of its readership (and perhaps even its creator) than it is downright exploratory, to offer sympathy and reassurance via commonality of experience rather than to take deep dives into deep issues and deep problems. This is a comic that knows who you are, or were, and is here to meet you on the home turf you share with it. There’s a time and place for taxing and challenging work, absolutely, but when you need a break from all that but still don’t care to be condescended to? You can’t do a whole lot better than this.

It’s no exaggeration to say I’m flat-out enamored with Reed’s squiggly world and hope to have a chance to visit again soon — until then, though, I’m content to re-read this comic whenever I could use a pick-me-up. Even knowing all the gags, punchlines, and twists of fate, a visit with old friends is still, and always will be, well worth a person’s time.

******************************************************************

Apples is available for $5.00 from J.T. Yost’s Birdcage Bottom Books distro at https://birdcagebottombooks.com/products/apples?variant=41000348811440

Also, this review is “brought to you” by my Patreon site, where I serve up exclusive thrice-weekly rants and ramblings on the worlds of comics, films, television, literature, and politics for as little as a dollar a month. Subscribing is the best way to support my continuing work, so I’d be very appreciative if you took a moment to give it a look by directing your kind attention to : https://www.patreon.com/fourcolorapocalypse

TV Review: Pam & Tommy 1.6 “Pamela in Wonderland” (dir by Hannah Fidell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Yes, I’m still reviewing this.

If the earlier episodes of Pam & Tommy seemed to owe a huge debt to the aesthetic of Ryan Murphy, the latest episode feels more indebted to the style of Aaron Sorkin.  The entire episode centered around Pam testifying at a deposition.  While being asked increasingly intrusive and sexist questions about her career as a model and how she and Tommy came to make the infamous the sex tape, Pam flashed back to her past.  We saw how she was discovered at a Canadian Football game and how she eventually ended up up posing for Playboy.  Hugh Hefner (played by Mike Seely) showed up, wearing his stupid red robe, and puffing away on his pipe.  In typical Sorkin rip-off fashion, the episode featured the attorneys asking a lot of questions and the only person of color to be seen was the unnamed court stenographer whose only line of dialogue was to briefly give Pam some encouragement.

Compared to the other episodes of Pam & Tommy, Pam In Wonderland actually worked fairly well.  It helped that it largely focused on Lily James, whose performance as Pam is probably the strongest thing that this show has going for it.  This is the second episode in a row not to feature the character of Reed Gauthier and the show was definitely better off without his presence and the attempts to somehow convince us that there’s any reason to portray him as being a sympathetic character.  With no Reed and Tommy reduced to appearing in flashbacks, this was the first episode that was fully told from Pam’s point of view and, when the attorneys suggested that Pam was somehow to blame for what had happened because of her past as a model or just the fact that she allowed herself to be filmed in the first place, every woman watching could relate to what Pam was going through because we’ve all heard the same condescending tone and we’ve all been told that somehow, the bad things that happen to us are actually our fault.  Lily James did a wonderful job of portraying Pam’s struggle to keep smiling and just get through the worst day of her life.  I knew what she was going through.  Again, Lily James is the best thing that this show has going for it.

And yet, I have to be honest that I still found myself wondering just what exactly the overall point of the show is.  For all of the episode’s strong points, it’s still hard to see why this story needs to be told as an 8-hour miniseries as opposed to a 90-minute film on FX.  The first three episodes did a good job of fitting this story into the early days of the Internet and the culture of the late 90s.  But the subsequent episodes haven’t added much to that initial impression.  It’s also worth noting that Pam herself has repeatedly distanced herself from the program and said, even before the show started shooting, that she didn’t want anything to do with it.  One could argue that, as a show, Pam & Tommy is as intrusive and exploitive as the attorneys at the disposition.  With each new episode, it become difficult to deny that this is a show that seeks to exploit the very same thing that it claims to be condemning.

One final thought on this episode and culture in general: how did people not realize that Hugh Hefner was creepy as Hell before he died?  Today, of course, A&E is airing an entire TV series dedicated to exploring what an asshole Hugh Hefner actually was.  But, just 11 years ago, Hefner was still being portrayed as some lovable old lothario in a sailor’s cap.  NBC even tried to air a Mad Men-style show about how great life was at The Playboy Club.  Remember that?  Creepy old Hef even provided the narration at the start of the first episode.  Last night’s episode of Pam & Tommy presented Hef as being essentially a benevolent (if manipulative) father figure.  It felt oddly tone deaf, though that may indeed be how Pam herself saw the old man.

Seriously, though …. did no one ever tell him how stupid he looked in those red pajamas?