
by Jack Faragasso

by Jack Faragasso
Seeing as how this is shark week on the SyFy network and I reviewed both Deep Blue Sea and Deep Blue Sea 2 on Sunday, it seems appropriate that today’s music video of the day should feature LL Cool J turning into a shark.
I mean, doesn’t it!?
Anyway, this is one of the songs that plays over the end credits of Deep Blue Sea. The video was directed by Renny Harlin and features several clips from the film. And, of course, LL Cool J turns into a shark.
Enjoy!

Right now, the SyFy channel is counting down the days to the premiere of The Last Sharknado by not only rebroadcasting some classic shark films from the past but by also premiering a new movie each night. Monday’s premiere was Megalodon and what can I say other than it was one of the most brilliant SyFy films of all time?
Produced by the Asylum (the same company behind the Sharknado franchise), Megalodon takes place out in the middle of the ocean. An American military vessel is searching for the remains of a mysterious submarine. In command of the mission is the tough and no-nonsense Captain Streeper (Dominic Pace). Second-in-command to Streeper is Commander Lynch (Caroline Harris), who is literally fearless. Observing is Streeper’s mentor, Admiral King and the fact that the Admiral is played by Michael Madsen is just one of the things that makes Megalodon one of the best Asylum films ever!
Anyway, the Americans eventually find the submarine, just to discover that it’s full of Russians! Ivanov (Dimitry Rozental) and Popov (Aimee Stolte) may claim that they were just doing scientific research on sharks and whales but both Streeper and Lynch know better. And when the Russians claim that there submarine was attacked by a giant shark, everyone laughs at them.
Until, of course, the giant shark shows up….
Now, you probably think that you know what’s going to happen. If you think the shark is going to end up attacking the American vessel, you’re right. If you think that a bunch of random fisherman are going to show up and get promptly swallowed by the shark, you’re right again. And if you think those dastardly Russians have something up their nefarious sleeves, well again, you’re right…
But then there’s all the things that you don’t expect. For instance, a good deal of the movie actually takes place inside of the shark as the crew of a diving bell try to figure out how to get back outside of it. And then there’s the scenes of Streeper and the Russians debating global politics. And, as I previously stated, there’s Michael Madsen as Admiral King. Madsen only has a few minutes of screen time but he makes the most of them. He delivers his lines with a self-mocking gravity, letting us know that he’s as in on the joke as we are. He even gets a scene where he gets to talk to the shark while smoking a cigar and you better believe that he totally knocks it out of the park. A lot of people on twitter pointed out that no admiral would have hair as long and unruly as Michael Madsen’s but they’re missing the point. Michael Madsen’s job isn’t to convince us that he’s a career Naval officer. In this film, Michael Madsen’s job is to be Michael Madsen and nobody does it better.
In the best tradition of the Asylum, Megalodon is a wonderfully self-aware movie. It’s cheerfully and unapologetically over-the-top. The entire cast seems to be having a blast and they’re all a lot of fun to watch. Dominic Pace gets to deliver the Independence Day “We’ll Never Stop Fighting” speech towards the end of the film and he delivers it with just the right combination of sincerity and humor. Caroline Harris brings a lot of authority to the role of the determined Lynch and both Dimitry Rozental and Aimee Stolte are wonderfully arrogant and villainous as the Russians. And then there’s the shark, which is big and intimidating and who attacks boats and eats sailors with a panache all of its own. Megalodon is pure entertainment and it all works wonderfully well. Watch it with a group of your snarkiest friends and have a blast!
Megalodon gives us evil Russians, a giant shark, and Michael Madsen. How can you not enjoy that?
For over 60 years, Inside Detective Magazine provided the readers with the salacious details of true life crime. Every story was advertised as being true and many were said to come straight from police files. From the 1930s until it ceased publication in the 90s, Inside Detective was one of the most popular true detective magazines. The publishers understood that nothing sells like sex and violence and the covers of Inside Detective promised both. Below, we have a few of them:

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Matthew and Gunnar Nelson are the twin sons of the late, 1950s teen idol, Ricky Nelson. In 1989, they signed a recording contract with Geffen Records. As Nelson, they released their first album, After the Rain, in 1990. Coming at the tail end of the hair metal era, Nelson specialized in the type of hard rock that was so radio friendly and inoffensive that even your mother could safely listen to them. Nelson achieved brief fame before Nirvana came along and permanently changed the musical landscape.
The first single released off of Nelson’s debut album was the title track, After the Rain. It was also their first music video.
I can’t remember where it was but I once saw the video for After The Rain at the top of a list of the worst music videos of all time. Actually, I’ve seen it at the top of several similar lists. After The Rain‘s bad reputation is almost entirely due to the first two minutes of the video.
A slob in a trailer park yells at his son. The sobbing teen lies down underneath a big Nelson poster than no one over the age of 12 would actually have hanging next to their bed. Suddenly, the poster comes to life and, in true Dr. Strange fashion, Matthew and Gunnar Nelson take the trailer park teen’s astral form on a journey to some sort of sweat lodge, when a Native American shaman holds up a feather. The magic feather transports the troubled teen to a Nelson concert and everything is instantly better.
What does it all mean, beyond suggesting that Nelson was the preferred band of both the trailer park and the sweat lodge? I don’t know. And was anyone’s life ever actually improved by going to a Nelson concert? Again, I just don’t know.
Like many bands of the era, Nelson’s popularity was washed away by a tidal wave of Seattle grunge. Nelson may now be forgotten but we’ll always have the feather.

Another long week comes to an end but at least next week is Sharknado week on SyFy!
Movies I Watched:
Television Shows I Watched:
Books I Read:
Music To Which I Listened:
Links From Last Week:
Links From The Site:

So, today was the first day of SyFy’s final Sharknado week. Leading up to next Sunday’s premiere of The Last Sharknado, SyFy is not only going to be rebroadcasting some of their classic shark films but they’re also going to be premiering a new film every night of the week.
(I’m in Killer Shark Heaven! Yes, the real one…)
They got things started tonight with Deep Blue Sea 2.
Now, before anything else, I should clarify that Deep Blue Sea 2 made its television premiere tonight but the movie itself has actually been out for a while. As opposed to the Sharknado films, Deep Blue Sea 2 was not specifically produced for or by the SyFy Network. Instead, the production honors go to Warner Bros, the same company that distributed the first Deep Blue Sea. Way back in April, Deep Blue Sea 2 was released on Blu-ray, DVD, Digital HD, and VOD and it actually did quite well for a straight-to-video release. There were enough fans of the original film that the sequel was able to rank in the top 10 of VOD releases for two straight weeks.
So, Deep Blue Sea 2 was not produced by the Asylum. Perhaps it would have been better if it had been.
Deep Blue Sea 2 retells the basic story of Deep Blue Sea, just on a much smaller level. Whereas Deep Blue Sea featured an army of big, scary sharks, the sequel features one really big shark and a bunch of baby sharks, all of which are cute but deadly. Whereas the first film was distinguished by detailed set design that gave the underwater laboratory a lived-in feel, the sequel features a lab that is frequently so dark and underlit that I often had a hard time distinguishing one actor from another. Whereas the first film features recognizable actors like Samuel L. Jackson and Stellan Skarsgard getting eaten by sharks, the sequel features a cast that, with the exception of Michael Beach, is largely unknown.
And while the entire cast is undeniably talented and does the best that they can with what they’ve been given to work with, everyone in the film is playing a type. Michael Beach is Durant, the pharmaceutical billionaire who, despite what happened in the first film, is breeding super intelligent sharks and drinking their blood. (You read that right.) Danielle Savre is Misty Calhoun, the shark conservationist who thinks that mankind is to blame for all the troubles in the world. Rob Mayes is Trent Slater, the Navy SEAL who knows how to fight sharks. Nathan Lynn is Aaron, the nerdy virgin computer guy. Kim Syster and Jeremy Jess Boado are the obviously doomed married couple. Darron Myer is the guy who you know is going to die as soon as you notice that he doesn’t take off his tie, even when he’s in an underwater lab. And then you have Cameron Robertson as the guy who sticks his arm down a shark’s throat and Adrian Collins as the diver who thinks it’s a good idea to taunt sharks that can literally jump out of the water and bite your head off.
Of course, as soon as everyone’s in the lab, the super smart sharks rebel and the majority of the cast ends up getting eaten. There’s no big shock there. Some of the gore effects are well-done. Faces are ripped off with panache and one unfortunate victim falls apart as soon as he’s pulled out of the water. Michael Beach has a lot of fun with the role of the ranting Durant and it was impossible not to smile whenever he would smirk off Misty’s outrage. For the most part, though, Deep Blue Sea 2 moved too slowly and didn’t feature enough shark action. That said, I think this is the first shark film that I’ve ever seen in which the sharks actually growl at people and that’s got to be worth something.

Since I’m going to be watching Deep Blue Sea 2 on the SyFy network later tonight, I figured that I should rewatch the first Deep Blue Sea beforehand.
This 1999 shark attack film takes place on a laboratory that’s floating out in the middle of the ocean. It’s the weekend so the majority of the people who work at the lab are gone. Only a skeleton crew, made up of recognizable actors, remains. There’s Susan McAlester (Saffron Burrows) and Jim Whitlock (Stellan Skarsgard), two brilliant scientists. (Susan is passionate and committed. Jim is drunk and cynical.) There’s a marine biologist named Jan (Jacqueline McKenzie), who is such a positive presence that, from the minute she first shows up, you know that there’s no way she’s going to be alive at the end of the movie. Tom (Michael Rapaport) is an engineer. Brenda (Aida Turturro) is in charge of communicating with the outside world. Preacher (LL Cool J) is a chef who acts a lot like LL Cool J. And then there’s Carter Blake (Thomas Jane), the shark wrangler with a past. Carter is obviously going to be our hero because, with a name like Carter Blake, there’s no way that he couldn’t be.
Finally, there’s Russell Franklin (Samuel L. Jackson). Russell is the businessman who has been funding all of the research at the lab. Even though he doesn’t quite understand what Susan and Jim are doing, he’s been very generous. However, after a shark escapes and nearly eats four generic teens, Russell decides that he better find out what exactly is being done with his money.
Jim and Susan are trying to develop a cure for Alzheimer’s. Susan says that, if their experiments are successful, one pill will be able to reverse the disease. They’ve been running tests on sharks and … well, let’s just say that Susan and Jim haven’t exactly been honest or ethical about their experiments. (Movie scientists always cut corners, don’t they?) Basically, they’ve been genetically engineering the sharks to increase the size of their brain.
The end result?
SUPER SHARKS!
To paraphrase the film’s poster, these sharks are big, fast, smart, and mean! And needless to say, they’re sick of being held captive. Soon, the lab is besieged by angry sharks and no one is safe!
That includes Samuel L. Jackson. Deep Blue Sea is best known for the scene where Samuel L. Jackson gives a rousing speech, in which he exhorts everyone to keep fighting and not give up, right before a shark jumps out of the water and eats him. It’s a great scene, one that makes brilliant use of Samuel L. Jackson. I mean, let’s be honest. You don’t expect Samuel L. Jackson to get eaten by a shark and, as soon as he’s gone, you look at the survivors and you think to yourself, “So, now you’re depending on LL Cool J and Thomas Jane to save you? Y’all are so screwed…”
And yet, it’s also significant that the only scene from Deep Blue Sea that people really remember is that shark eating Samuel L. Jackson. With the exception of the one moment, Deep Blue Sea is an incredibly predictable movie. From the minute you see that Jim is played by Stellan Skarsgard, you know that he’s doing something wrong with the sharks. The dialogue is often cringe-worthy and the characters are all thinly drawn. The sharks are occasionally impressive but the movie doesn’t really do enough with the idea of them of being super smart. Was I hoping for scenes of the sharks talking to each other? I guess I was.
That said, as I watched Deep Blue Sea, I was surprised to discover that I had forgotten just how likable and efficient the movie was. Director Renny Harlin doesn’t waste any time trying to convince us that we’re watching anything more than just a slightly silly shark movie. Wisely, Harlin unapologetically embraces Deep Blue Sea’s B-movie roots and, with the help of a game cast, the end result is a film that is enjoyably unpretentious and straight forward. Samuel L. Jackson was not devoured in vain.

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