In the army comedy Stripes, we never learn Sgt. Hulka’s first name but we do learn to never call him “sir.”  As Hulka himself puts it, “You don’t say sir to me, I’m a sergeant, I work for a living!”

It’s true.  Sgt. Hulka never stops working.  He’s the toughest drill sergeant this side of R. Lee Ermey and he’s going to turn this latest raw batch of recruits into a worthy collection of soldiers.  When he tells you to move, you’ll move fast.  When he tells you to jump, you’re going to ask, “How high!?”  And make no mistake. He don’t care where you come from, he don’t care what color you are, he don’t care how smart you are, he don’t care how dumb you are, ’cause he’s gonna teach every last one of you how to eat, sleep, walk, talk, shoot, shit like a United States soldier. Understand!?

I have lost track of how many times I have watched Stripes.  It’s one of my favorite comedies, a movie that can be quoted in almost every situation.  (“Lighten up, Francis.”)  Not only does it star Bill Murray and Harold Ramis at their anarchistic best but it also features everyone from John Candy to Judge Reinhold to John Larroquette.  Sean Young and P.J. Soles make for two of the sexiest MPs in military history.  But, for me, the best thing about Stripes is Sgt. Hulka and the man who played him.

Ironically, considering that he was famous for being a pot-smoking wild man who hung out with fellow anti-establishment rebels like Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper, and Sam Peckinpah, Warren Oates played his share of no-nonsense military men.  (Oates actually had experience, having served in the Marines before becoming an actor.)  Of all the army roles that Warren Oates played, Sgt. Hulka is the best remembered.

And why not?  His performance in Stripes is a master class of good film acting.  Watch him as he does a stone-faced double take at the latest bit of insubordination from Murray and Ramis.  Watch the way he grins as he barks out his tough drill sergeant dialogue, hinting that Sgt. Hulka understands and has come to accept the lunacy of army life.  Originally, Hulka was supposed to be killed halfway through Stripes but both Warren Oates and his performance proved to be so popular with the film’s cast and crew that Hulka was given a reprieve.

In Stripes, Sgt. Hulka accomplishes something that few other film characters have done.  He gets one over on Bill Murray.  After spending almost all of basic training dealing with John Winger (Bill Murray) and his bad attitude, Hulka confronts Winger in the latrine.  Hulka tells Winger that he’s concerned with “discipline and duty and honor and courage” and that Winger “ain’t got none of it!”  Hulka dares Winger to take a swing at him.  When Winger does it, Hulka floors him with one punch.

This is the only dramatic scene in Stripes.  It was so dramatic that nervous Columbia studio execs asked director Ivan Reitman to cut it.  Wisely, Reitman did not listen to them and the latrine scene is one of the best in the film.  When John eventually emerges as enough of a leader that he is able to invade Czechoslovakia in an armor-plated RV, we all know that it goes back to getting punched in the latrine.

(This was also the first “serious” scene that Bill Murray ever appeared in.  His subsequent work in films like Rushmore, Lost in Translation, and St. Vincent can all be linked back to that tense confrontation he played with Warren Oates.)

At the end of Stripes, Sgt. Hulka retires from the army and opens up a chain a Hulkaburger restaurants.  Here’s hoping that Sgt. Hulka had a happy retirement.  He earned it.