(This post contains spoilers.)
Last night, I watched the brilliant Lifetime film, Lizzie Borden Took An Axe.
Why Was I Watching It?
First off, as everyone who reads this site should know by now, I love Lifetime movies. Add to that, I also happen to like true crime films. (It’s not for nothing that my twitter bio reads, “Just a sweet little thing with morbid thoughts.”) So, it’s really not so much a question of why I was watching it as how could I not watch it?
What Was It About?
On a hot summer day in 1892, both Andrew Borden and his wife are hacked to death. Suspicion is immediately cast upon their daughter Lizzie (Christina Ricci), a free-spirited Sunday School teacher who is also known for being a compulsive shop lifter. Is Lizzie guilty or was the crime committed by her older sister Emma (Clea Duvall) or the maid or a mysterious stranger who was seen around town on the day of crime? Though the case itself remains officially unsolved, this film makes a pretty convincing argument that Lizzie was guilty and was only acquitted because nobody, in 19th century America, could bring themselves to believe that a woman was capable of such a violent crime.
What Worked?
It all worked. Lizzie Borden was one of the greatest Lifetime movies that I’ve ever seen. It took all of the elements that we expect from a good Lifetime movie — scandal, sex, and girls literally getting away with murder — and pushed them to such an extreme that the end result was absolutely brilliant. Christina Ricci and Clea Duvall both gave great performances and Nick Gomez directed with an eye towards the surreal, the morbid, and the darkly humorous.
The scene towards the end where Lizzie whispered her confession to Emma was one of the best in the history of Lifetime.
What Did Not Work?
As I said above, it all worked.
“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments
I related to the Borden family maid, Bridget Sullivan, because she was Irish and hated having to wash windows.
Lessons Learned
Lizzie Borden was guilty….maybe.
Through the Shattered Lens 
Wow Lisa you say one the of the greatest Lifetime films you have ever watched? That speaks volumes I know you have seen 100’s for sure! High praise indeed for the films ax welding name sake!
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This is after she watched the Lifetime remake of Flowers in the Attic. Maybe Lifetime is just realizing that they have to constantly up the ante since Lisa is watching with her discerning mismatched eyes.
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It’s almost as good as Confessions of a Go Go Girl! 🙂
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“She gave hoy-er mother foy-tee whacks…boy, the Dodgers could’ve used hoy-er!”
Film buff points if you can name the actor who said that and in which film.
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I’ve got an answer but only because I cheated and googled it. Lol. I’ll wait to see if anyone chimes in with the right answer. 🙂
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The hint is in the actor’s distinctive way of speaking (which I have attempted to replicate in print). Pretty sure it’s word for word–it’s been several years since I saw the movie, but essentally that’s what he says.
I was in absolute hysterics over the line–and apparently, the only one in the theatre who found it uproariously funny. Maybe I was the only one who got the reference to the Dodgers.
He also says:
“Come to my room in a half hour…and bring some rye bread!”
They don’t write movies passes like that anymore.
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And the answer is … Jimmy Durante in The Man Who Came To Dinner
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Oh gosh, you beat me to it by a matter of minutes! I was going to post the above clip, but I opted for the one below. I couldn’t find one with the Dodgers line.
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For anyone who cares, the film in question is “The Man Who Came To Dinner” (1942), and the line was said by Jimmy Durante.
The film is full of acidic one-liners, as delivered by Monty Woolley below:
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