Videodrome | Through the Shattered Lens

Apparently, the Rapture was scheduled for yesterday and I missed it. Now, I suppose there are a lot of reasons as to why I might have been left behind but quite frankly, I blame my first boyfriend. Seriously, thanks for condemning me to three and a half years of tribulation, jerk! Anyway, as long as we’re all stuck together, why not enjoy six more of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation trailers? Since it’s still October, I’m continuing my horror theme with this entry. Plus, considering what the future holds for us, we should probably start getting used to a little horror…

1) The Burning (1981)

Agck! I just recently saw this movie and that little raft scene totally freaked me out! I would never get on a raft to begin with because it worries me that I might end up with some raftmate who keeps going, “Row! Row! Row!” On another note, what’s up with those people who are always like, “Go! Go! Go!” in action scenes? I’m just like, “Okay, fascist much?” I mean, if you want to be all Mad Men-like, go watch AMC.

2) Return to Horror High (1987)

Three quick notes: 1) Watch carefully and you’ll see George Clooney pop up for about five seconds in this trailer, 2) if you don’t want people like getting killed at your school, don’t name it Horror, and 3) I made my sister watch this trailer and she assures me that a literal skeleton would never be allowed to become a cheerleader.

3) Splatter University (1984)

I assume this is where you go if you survive Horror High. Usually I try to be kinda coy and funny about these things but this time I’m just going to flat-out say it: Based on this, this film appears to truly suck. But I can’t resist a trailer that features melodramatic narration….

4) Slaughter High (1986)

Okay, this movie also looks terrible but check out the so-bad-its-going-t0-make-you-kill-someone musical score. Again, I’d just like to point out that if this high school had simply been named after a dead president, a lot of needless death could have been avoided. But no, they had to go with Slaughter High.

5) Hell High (1989)

As if I needed further proof to make my case, check out this trailer for Hell High. I own this movie on DVD and I have to admit that I bought it solely because of the name.

6) Videodrome (1982)

After those last few trailers, you may be ready for a trailer of a film that’s actually kinda sorta good. So, here’s one for David Cronenberg’s Videodrome, which is one of the weirdest films I’ve ever seen, what with all that “new flesh” talk and James Woods’ body doing weird things…agck!

I think I’ve been a little bit too hard on Canada as of late. I mean, sure — our northern neighbor did give us Paul Haggis and Vermont. However, Canada also gave us Degrassi: The Next Generation, Jason Reitman, Atom Egoyan, David Cronenberg, Denys Arcand, and my friend Lindsay Dianne. So, I’m here to say right now: I love Canada! And in order to show that love, this week’s edition of Lisa Marie’s Favorite Grindhouse and Exploitation Trailers is dedicated to films produced up in Canada.

1) Sudden Fury (1975)

I’ve never seen this movie and I don’t know much about it beyond the fact that it was made in Canada. Looking at the cast list at the end of the trailer, I don’t see any familiar names. But the trailer fascinates me because it somehow manages to be intriguing and dull at the same time.

2) Rats (1982)

I haven’t actually seen this one either and I’m kind of glad for that because seriously, I am scared to death of rats. I remember this one time when I was little, I was visiting my grandpa’s place in Arkansas and he lived in this big three-story house out in the country. And I was sitting out back in this swing when suddenly, this rat jumped out of a third story window and it landed right next to the swing and broke its neck and died with its tail twitching as I watched. I still have nightmares about that. Anyway, this film is apparently not to be confused with Bruno Mattei’s Rats: The Nights of Terror.

3) Humongous (1983)

This is one of the several million slasher films that ended up being made in Canada by American film companies looking for a tax shelter. Just imagine how much shorter the trailer would have been in the movie had simply been called Huge. Incidentally, the film was directed by Paul Lynch, the same guy who did the original Prom Night.

4) Fast Company (1979)

Arleigh would never let me live it down if I did a post and didn’t include a trailer for a David Cronenberg film. So, here you go. Now, to be honest, this trailer is only interesting if you know that 1) it’s for a film directed by David Cronenberg and that 2) he made this in between making Rabid and The Brood. Now I know that this trailer probably screams out, “David Cronenberg just needed the work,” but Cronenberg has actually spoken with a good deal of fondness about this film. I personally haven’t seen it but I guess if anyone could somehow make a movie about drag racing exciting, it would be David Cronenberg.

5) Videodrome (1983)

Here’s a more representative example of what we think about when we think about Cronenberg.

6) Out of the Blue (1980)

Originally, I was going to end this with the 2 Cronenberg films but then I remembered that Dennis Hopper’s Out Of The Blue was a Canadian production and there were simply no way I couldn’t end with that film. Out of the Blue is, quite simply put, one of the greatest films ever made. I’ve been meaning to write a review of it for a while now but it’s been difficult for me to know where to begin because, in many ways, viewing Out of the Blue was as much of a personal experience for me as watching Black Swan.