On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Patti D’Arbanville is perfectly cast Wendy, a performance artist who uses her disturbing nightmares for inspiration and who finds herself losing her grasp on reality.
The episode originally aired on August 5th, 1989.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Canada goes on strike!
Episode 1.2 “Labor And Other Relations”
(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on October 9th, 1985)
I am two episodes into Check It Out and my favorite character is Marlene, the cashier played by Kathleen Laskey. She’s my favorite specifically because she has the same attitude that I would have if I was working as a cashier. She doesn’t care about the customers, she doesn’t worry about showing up for work on time, and she takes her first break ten minutes after the store opens. Plus, out of everyone who works at the store, she has the best fashion sense.
This episode also established that Marlene is the “shop steward” of the Cobb’s union. No one has ever joined the union, other than Marlene. But that changes when mean old Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) announces that employees of Cobb’s will, from now on, only be allowed to take two coffee breaks a day. Marlene declares this to be an outrage and invites everyone — except for manager Howard (Don Adams) and assistant manager Christian (Jeff Pustil) — to a union meeting at her apartment. Soon, every employee of the store is outside, picketing. Meanwhile, Howard and Christian are forced to bag groceries and deal with customers.
Frustrated by the fact that everyone has joined the union, Howard goes outside to confront the picketers. Murray (Simon Reynolds), the young bagger who has a crush on Marlene, asks Howard to hold his sign so that he can run into the store and use the bathroom. (Wouldn’t that count as crossing the picket line? I’ve never been a member of a union so I’m not really sure how all of this works.) Howard agrees to hold Murray’s “Cobbs Is Unfair” sign. Of course, a local reporter snaps a picture of Howard and soon, he’s on the front page of the newspaper.
Howard is just not having a good week. First off, we learn, in a scene that goes on for way too long, that he’s still struggling with impotence and hasn’t had sex with Edna (Dinah Christie) for weeks. (Edna is also Howard’s secretary and a member of the union so really, it seems like there’s all sorts of issues here.) And now, he’s on the front page of the newspaper, picketing his own store. Ms. Cobb shows up to fire him, saying that she was also responsible for “firing the Shah of Iran” back in 1979. (What?)
Fortunately, the other employees of Cobb’s come to the rescue by barging into Howard’s office and announcing that they’ve voted him into the Union and therefore, Ms. Cobb can’t fire him for picketing. Howard gets to keep his job, even though I was under the impression that members of management are not allowed to join a union. Howard agrees to give everyone back their coffee breaks, even though that was a corporate policy and it was established early on that Howard didn’t have the power to change it.
This was a weird episode. I’m going to guess that it was not at all a realistic depiction of a labor dispute. There was way too much time devoted to Howard and Edna discussing their lack of a sex life. That said, Marlene’s attitude saved the episode. Even though she didn’t care about her job, she still brought the company to its knees. Woo hoo, you go, Marlene!
I’m running behind on everything. I haven’t even started Bachelor in Paradise yet. Oh well. I’ll probably have time in November to watch everything that I’m currently missing.
The Amazing Race (CBS, Sunday Night)
The race went from Thailand to Vietnam this week and, for the first time since the new season began, I was able to watch the entire episode from beginning to end. I still need to catch up on the episodes that came before the one I watched this week but it almost doesn’t matter who is on the show. I just enjoy The Amazing Race as a matter of general principle. I like watching everyone go from country to country. It’s always interesting to see which otherwise strong team will have a total meltdown due to a bad cab driver.
Big Brother 25 (24/7, Paramount+ and CBS)
I’ve been writing about this extremely annoying season over at the Reality TV Chat Blog!
Bubblegum Crisis (Night Flight Plus)
I watched another episode of this anime on Saturday morning. As usual, I couldn’t follow a single thing that was going on, though I did notice that there were a lot of explosions. The anime clothes were to die for.
Check It Out (Tubi)
I watched the second episode of this Canadian sitcom earlier today. My review should be dropping in another hour or two. The episode dealt with a unions and labor relations, which is something that has certainly been in the news recently. The episode made me glad that I’m not a member of a union because I don’t think I could handle all of that repetitive picketing.
Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)
I wrote about the second episode of Friday the 13th here!
Gun (Tubi)
Hell’s Kitchen (Thursday Night, Fox)
I’m running so far behind on my television watching that I only watched last week’s episode on Tuesday and I have yet to watch this week’s episode. That said, I kind of knew that Tad was going to be the first person to be sent home, just be Chef Ramsey’s negative reaction to his signature dish. It’s probably for the best. Tad was amusingly weird but they’ve got a kitchen to run!
The Hitchhiker (YouTube)
I watched a few more episodes of The Hitchhiker while selecting which ones to feature here on the site for October. Unfortunately, a lot of the best episodes of The Hitchhiker are also age-restricted so I can’t embed them. Still, I think it’s a fun show. I’ve been enjoying Page Fletcher’s wonderfully judgmental monologues at the start and end of each episode.
Monsters (Tubi)
Nightmare Cafe (YouTube)
I wrote about Nightmare Cafe here!
Radio 1990 (NightFlight Plus)
I watched an episode of this old 90s music show on Friday night. Gene Simmons was interviewed and actually came across as being calm, reasonable, and polite.
Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)
You know, the fact that the same tribe has been sent to tribal council for three episodes in a row really should tell the producers of this show that it’s time to stop doing the three-tribe thing and return to starting out with two big tribes. I mean, every season since the show returned from its COVID hiatus, two tribes have dominated while one has had to go tribal over and over again. It’s getting kind of boring.
The Vanishing Shadow (NightFlight Plus)
This is actually an old serial from the 1930s. I watched the first chapter on Friday night. A man developed an invisibility ray and hoped that he could use it to exonerate his criminally-convicted father. This episode ended with a cliffhanger and it was actually a lot of fun.
Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)
I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!
Yes, Prime Minister (Monday Morning, PBS)
In a development that felt very current, Prime Minister Hacker found himself being bulled by the American ambassador. This seemed like a funny episode but, unfortunately, I was also doing some emergency cleaning around the house while it aired so I didn’t get to pay as much attention as I would have liked.
On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, Marc Singer plays a real loser, a deadbeat husband who spends almost all of his time talking to a phone sex operator named Liz (Paulina Mlynarska). When Liz suggests that the husband murder his wife (Katrine Boorman), who is left to wonder whether he should follow her advice or if she even exists to begin with.
This episode, featuring a wonderful turn from Marc Singer, originally aired on July 21st, 1989.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, the Sweathogs learn about the free press!
Episode 2.15 “Sweatgate Scandal”
(Dir by Bob LaHendro, originally aired on January 13th, 1977)
Gabe tells Julie about his uncle who was a hunter. Apparently, he went out in the woods, ran into a beautiful woman, and asked her, “Are you game?” She said yes and, as Gabe puts it, “He shot her.”
Yikes!
Meanwhile, at school, Epstein and Horshack are upset that the school newspaper is always “putting down the Sweathogs” and criticizing Freddie as a basketball player. They’re especially upset because Mr. Kotter is the newspaper’s faculty advisor. When Gabe arrives at class, he explains that he’s just the advisor, not the editor. Gabe also says that he’s more interested in the front page story, about someone breaking into Mr. Lazarus’s office and stealing some of his confidential files.
“They’ll probably blame that on us,” Freddie says.
“No one’s going to blame this on you,” Gabe replies.
Of course, Woodman steps into the classroom and immediately demands to know who was responsible for “the Lazarus break-in.” Woodman also demands to know where Gabe was during the break-in. Gabe says that he was attending Woodman’s speech on “Self-defense with a number two pencil.”
Gabe decides that the Sweathogs need to make their voices heard so he offers to give extra credit to any Sweathog who works on the school newspaper. He says that they can investigate the Lazarus break-in.
“Oh, it’ll be just like the All The President’s Men!” Horshack says.
“I get to be Robert Redford!” Barbarino declares.
“Well, I’m Dustin Hoffman,” Epstein replies, “I’m walking here!”
At the school newspaper, Freddie, Horshack, Barbarino, and Epstein find themselves working with two characters who appeared regularly during the first season, Judy Borden (Helaine Lembeck) and Todd Ludlow (Dennis Bowen). Freddie writes the sports page. Horshack reveals his gossip columnist skills by revealing that Judy’s had a nose job. Barbarino and Epstein are investigative reporters and are assigned to investigate the Lazarus Break-In. However, Woodman drops by the newspaper’s office and explains that Lazarus doesn’t want the break-in to be investigated. “Cork it!” Woodman shouts.
After Horshack finds a note in his Twinkie, Epstein and Barbarino head to the Boys’s Bathroom, where they meet up with an informant named Deep Throat. (“But you can call me Deep.”) The informant, who is hiding in a stall, tells them to “Follow the liver.”
“What do I do when I catch it?” Barbarino asks.
Deep Throat goes on to explain that the break-in at Lazarus’s office is connected to another break-in at the school cafeteria.
We cut to the school at night. Barbarino and Epstein have written their story but they need Gabe to look over it and approve it. Gabe arrives at the school in tuxedo, explaining that, once a week, he and Julie play nightclub, in which he puts on a tuxedo and tells jokes while Julie puts on a nightgown and heckles him. Sounds like fun!
The story suggests that the school has been buying liver substitute as opposed to real liver and someone has been pocketing the money that was saved. When Gabe needs a little more proof, Epstein and Barbarino lead him out to the hallway, where Deep Throat awaits in the shadows. Deep Throat confirms the story and then says, “I must go home and gargle.” Could Woodman be Deep Throat?
The latest edition of the newspaper is published, with Barbarino and Epstein’s story on the front page. When Woodman comes in the office and informs them that Lazarus is launching a full-scale investigation but that he’s not happy about the story. Judy informs Woodman that she’s not to blame because she’s an honor’s student.
“I’ve never gotten a B!” Judy says.
“Neither have a I,” Horshack replies.
Woodman reveals that the cafeteria will now be serving real liver and then he lowers his voice and says, “You can call me Deep.”
MR. WOODMAN WAS DEEP THROAT! Well …. yeah, who else would it be? It’s not as if there’s a huge amount of characters on this show.
After Woodman leaves, Gabe asks Barbarino and Epstein if he’s ever told them about his Uncle Max, who once hired an investigative reporter. Barbarino and Epstein groan and Gabe reveals that the investigative reporter discovered that Max’s wife was cheating on him.
This was a cute episode. Barbarino and Epstein always make for a good team and any episode that allows Woodman to go nuts is worth watching. Always follow the liver!
Next week: Gabe’s father comes to visit!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th, a show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, Ryan, Mickey, and Jack all end up going undercover at an ancient monastery, where one of the monks is using a cursed pen to take out anyone who annoys him.
Episode 1.2 “The Poison Pen”
(Directed by Timothy Bond, originally aired on October 10th, 1987)
The second episode of Friday the 13th: The Series begins at an ancient monastery that is run by a religious order known as The Brotherhood. (It’s never explicitly stated what denomination the Brotherhood belongs too. Their practices seem to be an odd mix of Buddhism and Anglicanism.) The Abbott has gone to top the roof of the monastery. He suddenly starts to float in the air. He thinks that he’s having a religious experience but, just as suddenly, he crashes down to the ground and is killed.
At the antique store, Jack sees a story in the newspaper about the Abbott’s death and he immediately realizes that someone at the monastery purchased a cursed pen from the store. The pen can be used to kill. All one has to do is write out how they want the death to happen (preferably in as florid language as possible) and then write down the name of their victim. That’s a powerful pen and obviously, it must be retrieved!
So, of course, Ryan and Micki have to go undercover as young monks. However, since it’s The Brotherhood and not the Sisterhood, Micki will have to pretend to be male which means tying back her hair, taking a vow of silence, and allowing Ryan to bind her chest. Jack forges a letter of introduction, though you have to wonder why he didn’t just go undercover with Ryan instead of forcing Micki to go through the trouble of trying to pass for a male.
Ryan and Micki move into the monastery and try to figure out which of the monks owns the pen. Unfortunately, they don’t do a very good job of it and two more monks are tragically killed, one suffocated in his bed while the other is beheaded by a guillotine that just happens to be in a storage room for some reason. In fact, Ryan and Micki prove to be so ineffective that Jack is eventually forced to go undercover as well.
Eventually, the owner of the pen is revealed to be Brother Le Croix (Colin Fox), who makes the mistake of writing out Jack, Micki, and Ryan’s death warrant on a piece of paper that already has his name on it. This leads to Brother Le Croix getting a guillotine blade to the back, finally bringing his reign of terror to an end. Ryan and Jack return the pen to the antique store and Micki finally gets to let down her hair and wear a bra again.
I personally think this episode would have been more effective if it had aired later in the season because a good deal of the episode’s humor depended on the idea of Jack, Micki, and Ryan all knowing each other extremely well. Instead, since this is just the second episode, it seems reasonable that Jack barely knows either Micki and Ryan, which makes some of his overly familiar interactions with them feel a bit odd. Unless there was a year-long time skip between the pilot and the second episode, it just doesn’t seem like everyone should be as comfortable around Jack as they are.
As for the episode’s premise, it was all a bit silly. The main problem is that the pen was so powerful that you have to kind of wonder why Brother Le Croix didn’t just use it as soon as he became suspicious of the new monks. Instead, he waited until everyone was gathered in the same room as the guillotine and then he forced them to watch as he wrote out how he wanted them to die and then, he actually announced, “Now, I just have to write down your names!” Why didn’t he write down their names first? It seems like evil was defeated less to due to the actions of our heroes and more because our villain was a true idiot.
Oh well. The important thing is that the pen will write no more!
Next week: Jack, Micki, and Ryan go to college in an episode directed by Atom Egoyan!
On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, David Soul plays a greedy developer who runs afoul the Parisian underground. It turns out that thinking big is not always the fool-proof strategy that the developer thinks that it is. The cocky developer finds himself forced to confront his own dark side. Myself, I’m curious why the opening credits always feature The Hitchhiker walking through the desert but, since the 5th season began, he’s pretty much just exclusively been hanging out in France. Seriously, who is this guy?
The episode originally aired on July 14th, 1989!
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, T.S. and Amy continue to keep Canada safe.
Episode 1.19 “Special Delivery”
(Dir by Vic Sarin, originally aired on May 15th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us during the pre-credits preview, “a young boy’s on the run with only his fears and a mysterious package for company.”
Bruce Johnson (Robert McClure) is an old friend of T.S. Turner’s who is now working as an executive for the Canadian space program. He records a tape in which he tells T.S. that he suspects that someone is trying to sabotage Canada’s latest space rocket and that his life in danger. “If anything happens to me,” Bruce asks, “take care of David and Brenda.” Bruce leaves his office with a package of evidence. He finds his 12 year-old son, David (Jamie Dick) skateboarding in front of a school. He gives the package to David and tells him to deliver it to Decker’s gym. David wears his baseball cap backwards so we all know he’s a rebel. Bruce is nabbed by the police as soon as he gives David the package but, fortunately, David is able to roll away on his skateboard.
With her husband and son both missing, Brenda Johnson (Karen Woolridge) calls T.S. Turner at Amy’s law office. Turner is out but the spacey administrative assistant, Sophie (Catherine Disher), takes the message and then runs down to the courthouse to give it to Amy. As someone who has worked as an administrative assistant, Sophie’s unprofessionalism made me cringe. How can Amy run her law office if the office is so disorganized? I’m surprised T.S. puts up with it.
Amy heads down to the police station, where she discovers that Brenda is being held as a witness in a federal investigation that’s being headed up by Detective Williams (William Finlay), who is a part of the Canadian Bureau of Investigation. Williams asks Amy where Bruce and David are and Amy tells him that Brenda has “civil rights.”
“Civil rights are superseded in matters of treason,” William replies.
Amy threatens to call a press conference so Williams agrees to let Brenda go free. Wow, that was easy!
10 minutes into this episode, T.S. finally shows up. He and Amy get a hot dog on a city street. “Thanks, brother,” T.S. tells the hot dog vendor. Amy fills T.S. in on what’s happening. T.S. suggests that Amy head to the gym while T.S. searches the city. Meanwhile, mysterious men in gray suits watch their every move.
Meanwhile, David continue to ride his skateboard through the city. He gets chased by the cops at one point and has to run through an office building to escape. Seriously, how big is this city? The kid just had to go to the gym!
Finally, 15 minutes into this 23-minute episode, David reaches the gym. However, he can’t go into the gym because the feds are staking it out! So, he just stands around outside with his hands in his pockets. T.S. shows up at the gym and announces, “The Kid’s not going to show up here with federal agents outside!”
After putting on camouflage gear, T.S. grabs Decker and heads back to the office. (Amy stays at the gym.) While Sophie flirts with Decker, T.S. calls the gym and tells Amy that David is at the office. T.S. knows the lines are bugged so this is his clever plan to throw off the feds. And it works! As Amy and Agent Williams head to the law office, Decker and T.S. head back to the gym.
And yes! David is now in the gym. He gives T.S. the package.
“Hey, little brother,” T.S. says, “everything’s going to be alright.”
Suddenly, a random bad guy shows up in the gym, holding a gun. He demands the package and promises no one will get hurt.
“Someone sticks a gun in my face, that don’t exactly inspire confidence!” T.S. explains.
T.S. then punches the guy out. One scene later, a news reporter informs us that Bruce Johnson has been found alive so I guess that’s the end of that.
This was a weird episode. For all the talk of international intrigue and Canada’s space program, the majority of it was just filler footage of the kid rolling around on his skateboard. T.S. was barely in it, leading me to suspect that maybe Mr. T had some vacation time and wanted to leave early. Either way, at least Canada’s space program was saved.
Episode 1.20 “Pros and Cons”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired on May 23rd, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “some high-rolling crooks make a very big mistake when they pick on my Aunt Martha.”
Two con artists — Harry (Booth Savage) and Louise (Janet-Laine Green) — pretend to be members of law enforcement and trick T.S.’s Aunt Martha into withdrawing a good deal of money from the bank. Martha thinks that she’s helping them catch a criminal but actually, she’s just given up her hard-earned money. T.S. isn’t going to stand for that! However, Martha doesn’t want to tell T.S., even though T.S.’s nice, Renee (Rachael Crawford) thinks that she should.
So, Renee decides to investigate on her own. After rather easily stealing a book of mugshots from the police station, Renee shows it to Aunt Martha, who immediately identifies Harry and Louise. By running a fake credit check on Louise, Renee and Aunt Martha are able to track them down to a ritzy hotel. Renee dresses up like a maid and Aunt Martha dresses up like a rich guest and they infiltrate the hotel.
Meanwhile, T.S. is shocked to discover that a check that he wrote to fix his car has bounced.
“Why would it do that!?” T.S. demands.
T.S. and Amy go to Aunt Martha’s and find all of Renee and Martha’s notes. Realizing that the two of them are confronting the con artists at the hotel, T.S. and Amy arrive just in time to see Harry and Louise trying to run from the hotel. T.S. blocks Harry’s escape. Harry grabs a mop and points it at T.S.
“Ain’t no way, brother,” T.S. replies.
T.S. subdues Harry by tossing him over a railing (don’t worry, Harry lands on a table) and Aunt Jackie punches out Louise.
The problem here is pretty obvious. The name of the show is T and T, not Renee and Jackie. The fun thing about this show is listening to T.S. growl at the criminals. This episode pushed both Amy and T.S. to the side and, as such, it just wasn’t that much fun. Sorry, Aunt Jackie!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!
This week, we finish up the pilot for Highway to Heaven, with Jonathan revealing the true nature of his job to Mark and the old people heading to the horse races!
Episode 1.1 “Highway to Heaven: Part Two”
(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on September 19th, 1984)
The second half of the pilot for Highway to Heaven opens with things looking up at the retirement community. Everyone is enjoying the new garden. There’s a new sense of community amongst the residents. Even Estelle (Helen Hayes) has finally come out of her room and is now taking care of the dog that Jonathan previously gave her. Sidney Gould (John Bleifer) is especially happy to see Estelle out and about, especially after Estelle agrees to have dinner with him.
The only person who is not happy with the changes that Jonathan has brought to everyone’s lives is Mark Gordon. Mark is still suspicious of Jonathan’s motives and he’s not happy that his sister, Leslie (Mary McCusker), is falling for a man who she really knows nothing about. When Jonathan is having dinner at Leslie’s apartment, Mark breaks into Jonathan’s apartment and discovers that Jonathan owns nothing. There’s not even a toothbrush in the bathroom.
Jonathan catches Mark in his apartment and, after Mark demands to know just who exactly Jonathan is, Jonathan explains that he works for “the Boss.” He travels from location to location, helping people who need help. When Mark demands to know who the Boss is, Jonathan can only look heaven-ward.
Needless to say, Mark is not at all convinced that Jonathan is an angel. But there’s an even bigger problem to deal with! Mr. Sinclair (Joe Dorsey), the owner of retirement home, has sold the land to a developer! Everyone who worked there is now out of a job and everyone who lived there has been given just a few days to move out and find somewhere else to live.
When Jonathan pays Mr. Sinclair a visit, he discovers that Sinclair has spent his life making money in order to get over the shame of being rejected by his high school love. Unfortunately, she’s now dead and Sinclair no longer cares about anyone. Still, Jonathan is able to convince Mr. Sinclair to give him a chance to raise enough money to buy the retirement home.
Mark’s suggestion is that they take the money that they already have and bet it at the tracks. Jonathan is not sure if the Boss would like him gambling but, in the end, he agrees to Mark’s plan. At the tracks, it first appears that the horse that the old people put their money on has lost. But then then Sidney discovers that the person at the betting window accidentally gave him the wrong ticket and — it’s a miracle! They win the money!
The old people are able to buy their retirement home and Mark is now convinced that Jonathan is angel. In fact, Mark is so convinced that he insists on driving Jonathan around the country and helping him out.
(Don’t worry about Leslie. Though she’s upset when Jonathan leaves, a handsome and single man immediately moves in next door to her.)
This episode ends with Jonathan getting into Mark’s car and the two of them driving off, down the highway.
Wow, this was an earnest show. Seriously, there’s not a hint of sarcasm or snarkiness to be found in this episode, which I imagine explains why this show is still airing on the retro stations and streaming on a hundred different sites. To an extent, it’s easy to be dismissive of a show where a bunch of quirky old people got to the race track to win enough money to be able to stay together in their retirement home. There’s nothing subtle not particularly surprising about any of it. I mean, we know there’s no way Helen Hayes and that adorable dog are going to lose their home! But this episode was so achingly sincere in its approach that it worked.
We’ll see if it continues to work next week!
On tonight’s episode of The Hitchhiker, a psychologist (Brian Kerwin) learns about the dangers of manipulating a patient. As you may be able to guess, The Hitchhiker dislikes psychologists almost as much as he dislikes tabloid journalists. In fact, is there anyone that The Hitchhiker does like?
This episode originally aired on July 8th, 1989.
Through the Shattered Lens 