The Kids Are Not All Right: 6 More Trailers That I Love


Continuing my ongoing survey of classic exploitation and grindhouse film trailers, here’s six more.  

1) Simon, King of the Witches — I’ve never seen this film but I caught this trailer on one of the 42nd Street compilation DVDs.  It doesn’t really make me want to see the film but I love the trailer because it is just so totally and utterly shameless.  Seriously, could this thing be more early 70s?  As well, I’ve always wondered — would witches actually have a king?  I mean, seriously, get with the times.

The film, by the way, stars Andrew Prine who apparently had a really promising film career until his girlfriend, Karyn Kupicent, died mysteriously in 1964.  A lot of people believed that Prine killed her though he always denied any guilt and there’s really no evidence to connect him to the crime.  Interestingly, even more people seem to think that Kupicent was murdered because she knew something about John F. Kennedy’s assassination.  Finally, true crime author Steve Hodel has suggested that Kupicent was actually murdered by his father, Dr. George Hodel.  (Steve also claims that George was the Black Dahlia killer, the Zodiac killer, Chicago’s lipstick killer, and that George was responsible for just about every unsolved murder in history.  Oedipus much?)

2) The Town That Dreaded Sundown Though I didn’t consider this while selecting this trailer, this is another film that features the unfortunate Robert Prine.  I’ve seen this film exactly one time when it showed up on late night television once.  Unfortunately, considering that it was 4 in the morning and the movie was obviously heavily edited for television (not to mention that constant commercial interruptions), I didn’t really get to experience the film under ideal circumstances.  As a result, I’ve been trying to track this movie down on DVD ever since.  It’s not an easy film to find.

One of the reasons this movie fascinates me is because it’s not only based on a true unsolved crime but it actually follows the facts of the case fairly closely.  In the late 40s, Texarkana was stalked by a masked gunman known as the Phantom Killer.  The case was never solved and its gone on to become a bit of a local legend in the rural Southwest.  Part of my interest in this case comes from the fact that I grew up in the rural Southwest.  It’s the part of the country I know best and this film was actually filmed in the southwest as opposed to just an arid part of Canada.  Interestingly enough, the Phantom Killer had a lot of similarities to the later Zodiac Killer.  However, as far as I know, Steve Hodel has yet to accuse his father of haunting Texarkana.

The film itself was made by Charles B. Pierce, a filmmaker who was based in Arkansas and made several independent films in that state.  Perhaps this explains why the trailer refers to “Texarkana, Arkansas” even though everyone knows that the only part of Texarkana that matters is the part that’s in Texas.

3) Nightmares in a Damaged Brain This is one of the infamous “video nasties” (trust the English to not only ban movies but to come up with a stupid and annoying label for those movies).  Like many of those films, this is a gory Italian film that seems to bathe in the sordid. 

It’s also fairly difficult film to find.  The DVD I own is actually a copy of the severely cut version that was eventually released in England, of all places.

(Another thing about the English — why is it that a culture that obsessively uses the word “cunt” in casual conversation seems so driven to distraction by a little fake blood?  It’s as if someone told them that banning movies would somehow make up for the attempted genocide of Catholics in Northern Ireland.)   

However, even in cut form, this is a disturbingly dark and frequently depressing film.  Evil seemed to radiate through my entire apartment the whole time I was watching it and that atmosphere is captured in the movie’s trailer.

As a sidenote, the gore effects in this film are credited to Tom Savini.  At the time of the film’s release, Savini announced that he actually had nothing to do with this movie.

4) To the Devil a Daughter — I recently read a biography of Christopher Lee in which he cited this movie, along with the original Whicker Man, as one of his personal favorites.  It was also the film debut of Natassia Kinski, the daughter of Klaus Kinski.  Considering Klaus’s reputation, the title is ironic.

5) Vampire Circus This is another movie that I’ve never seen but I’ve heard great things about it.  Supposedly, its one of the last great Hammer vampire films.  Reportedly, it was controversial at the time of its release because it featured vampires attacking English children.  (Which, if nothing else, at least prevented from growing up to kill little Irish children.)  Seeing the trailer leaves me even more frustrated that it has yet to be released, in the States, on DVD.

6) Dr. Butcher, M.D. — This is actually a rather odd zombie/cannibal film hybrid from Italy.  It was originally titled Zombie Holocaust but the American distributors retitled it Dr. Butcher.  I love this trailer for much the same reason I love the Simon, King of the Witches trailer.  It is just pure and shameless exploitation.  Plus, it features some of the best moments of the great Donal O’Brien’s performance as the “title” character.  I recently forced my sister Erin to watch Zombie Holocaust.  Ever since, whenever I start to ramble too much, she simply looks at me and says, “Lisa’s annoying me.  About to perform removal of vocal chords…”  She actually does a fairly good impersonation.  Consider this just more proof that the Grindhouse brings families closer together.

6 More Exploitation Film Trailers That I Love


Back in May, I posted 6 old school exploitation trailers that I love.  At the time, I said that even though I only posted 6 of them, I could have easily listed 666.  While I don’t have the space to put up quite that many, here’s 6 more exploitation film trailers that I love.

1) A Black Veil For Lisa — There’s several things that I love about this trailer.  I love the faux-noir narration.  I love the teasing tone.  I love the old school femme fatale attitude of lead actress Lucianna Paluzzi.  But, to be honest, the main reason I love it is because it’s all about a redhead named Lisa.  That and the line “Every man wants a Lisa…”

2) The Italian Stallion — This is the trailer for the re-release of Sylvester Stallone’s porn debut, A Party At Kitty and Stud’s.  I’ve never seen the movie nor do I have much desire to see it but this trailer just amused me to no end.  Whether its the awesomely phony line readings of Gail Palmer or the catchy and empty theme song, this trailer feels like a genuine time capsule.

3) The House On The Edge of the Park — Speaking of catchy but empty theme songs, Ruggero Deodato’s The House on the Edge of the Park features my personal favorite, Riz Ortolani’s infamous Do It To Me (Once More).  It can be heard at the end of this trailer and once it gets stuck in your head, it’ll stay there forever.  As for the trailer itself, it’s a perfect example of how a well-edited trailer can actually make a somewhat draggy film seem exciting (that said, this movie is one of my all-time guilty pleasures, as misogynistic and wrong-headed as it ultimately is).  A few things I love about this trailer — the blue-tinted views of New York City, David Hess’s iconic psycho performance, the sight of my man Giovanni Lombardo Radice dancing, and the fact that the trailer actually manages to 1) get the movie’s name wrong and that 2) nobody ever bothered to fix it.

(Author’s note: Whoops!  Before you watch this, I have to admit that I’d forgotten just how explicit, violent, and exploitive this trailer really is.  So, consider this to be definitely NSFW — not that you should be watching any of these trailers at work, to begin with — and seriously, no joke, don’t watch this trailer if you are easily upset or offended.  Honestly, if I saw this trailer without having any knowledge of how silly the actual movie really is, I would probably find this trailer to be deeply offensive.  Well, no, actually, I probably wouldn’t.  For the most part, I’m only offended by things that happen offscreen in the real world. — Lisa Marie Bowman)

4) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre — Yes, I know everyone’s probably seen this trailer a hundred times but it’s still probably one of the best and most effective trailers of all time.  Plus, I’m from Texas so you know I had to mention this movie at some point.  (I may have mentioned this in the past, but seriously — try to imagine this movie being as effective if it was called The Vermont Chainsaw Massacre.)

5) Mindwarp (a.k.a. Galaxy of Terror) — I’ve been eagerly awaiting the chance to buy this film on DVD ever since seeing this trailer on the latest 42nd Street Forever compilation.  Rumor has it that this film was actually directed by James Cameron, back when he was still interesting.  Supposedly, this film features a very aggressive tentacle but, to be honest, I mostly just want to see Sid Haig’s arm get cut off.  (Seriously, who doesn’t?  Take that, Capt. Spaulding!)

6) Stage Fright — This is the wonderfully intense and claustrophobic trailer to the great Michele Soavi’s 1st film, Stage Fright, a movie I’m going to watch as soon as I finish up this post.  So, with no further delay…

Paranormal Activity 2: Too Scary For Texas


According to Variety, Cinemark has pulled the trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 from several theaters in my homestate of Texas because, apparently, filmgoers (the majority of whom were apparently in the theater to see Twilight: Eclipse) complained that it was too frightening.

Uhmmm….right.

I’ve seen the trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 online and, to be honest, the scariest thing about it is that it confirms that a sequel was actually made to Paranormal Activity One

(As a sidenote, the PA 2 trailer recycles the old footage of viewers supposedly jumping in fright while watching the first film.  I always wondered just who exactly these idiots were and whether or not they’d ever actually seen a movie before.)

This whole thing seems to be an old-fashioned publicity stunt designed to create word-of-mouth among the type of people who probably think that the obnoxious filmmakers in Cannibal Holocaust actually were eaten by cannibals at the end of the movie.

It’s especially interesting that these complaints supposedly came from Texas.  I suppose that’s going to be the new advertising angle — Paranormal Activity 2: The Movie So Scary That Even Texans Are Afraid To Watch.  I imagine that now filmgoers are supposed to say, “Wow, it’s got to be scary!  I mean, we expect that sort of cowardly behavior from those new age hippies in Vermont but these are cowboys here!”

(By the way, I’m from Texas and I’ve never worn a cowboy hat and I don’t own a horse.  I do say “y’all” on occasion.  Seriously though, FUCK VERMONT.  Sorry, I’ve always wanted to say that.)

I have to be honest, as much as I disliked the first Paranormal Activity, this publicity stunt has won the filmmakers a very small place in my heart.  This is the type of shameless, silly stunt that would make the grindhouse proud.  Hopefully, they’ll have a nurse present at all screenings of Paranormal Activity 3.

Anyway, if you think you can handle it, here’s the trailer that’s apparently too scary for Texas: