4 Shots From 4 Films is just what it says it is, 4 shots from 4 of our favorite films. As opposed to the reviews and recaps that we usually post, 4 Shots From 4 Films lets the visuals do the talking.
It’s the Hoff’s birthday! That means that it is time for….
4 Shots From 4 David Hasselhoff Films
Starcrash (1978, dir by Luigi Cozzi, DP: Paul Beeson and Roberto D’Ettorre Piazzoli)
Witchery (1988, dir by Fabrizio Laurenti, DP: Gianlorenzo Battaglia)
Panic At Malibu Pier (1989, dir by Richard Compton, DP: John McPherson)
Nick Fury: Agent of SHIELD (1998, dir by Rod Hardy, DP: James Bartle)
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1993’s The Only Way Out! It can be viewed on YouTube.
“I’ll kill you before I let you go,” Tony (Henry Winkler) says to his terrified girlfriend, Lynn (Stephanie Faracy).
Agck! Those are frightening words and they are certainly not something that you would expect to hear from a character played by notorious Hollywood nice guy Henry Winkler. And, indeed, it would probably shock most of the characters in the film if they knew how Tony talked to Lynn. Tony is a grad student who has worked at any number of jobs. While some people might say all of those jobs prove that Tony has a hard time sticking to anything, Tony has obviously learned how to convince people that he’s actually a just a determined man working his way through grad school and taking whatever job will help to pay the bills. Tony is friendly and romantic and given to grand gestures. He’s the type who shows up unexpectedly at Lynn’s place of employment with flowers. He’s the type of guy that strangers applaud while those close to him look for any way to escape.
Lynn knows all about the other side of Tony. Tony is controlling, obsessive, and abusive. He hits her. He barks orders at her kids. When she tells him that she wants him out of her life, he refuses to go and blames her for all of their problems. He’s someone who can quickly go from being everyone’s friend to being a monster. He preys on insecurity and, whenever anyone stands up to him, he plays the victim. Tony is a classic abuser and the fact that he’s played by the likable Henry Winkler makes him all the more disturbing. Like most abusers, Tony knows how to turn on the charm. He knows the power of a smile and a few complimentary words.
Lynn is in the process of getting divorced from an architect named Jeremy (John Ritter). It’s been a remarkably amicable divorce, with Jeremy and Lynn agreeing on joint custody and apparently not bearing any ill feelings towards one another. The only problem is that Lynn cannot bring herself to actually sign the divorce papers. Jeremy wants to marry Susannah (Julianne Phillips) and Susannah is not happy about the long wait. She’s even less happy when Jeremy takes it upon himself to try to protect Lynn from Tony. Soon, Tony is stalking Jeremy and Jeremy finds himself considering a particularly extreme solution to his problem.
It’s John Ritter vs Henry Winkler and the casting of two of Hollywood’s best-known nice guys as violent rivals works surprisingly well. Winkler is memorably unhinged while Ritter plays a guy who is struggling to hold onto a life that, until Tony shows up, seemed to be perfect. In the end, it’s not just Tony who catches us by surprise by just how far he’s willing to take things. The film’s ending took me by genuine surprise. Featuring excellent dramatic turns from two actors best known for their comedic skills, The Only Way Out is a superior melodrama.
If you don’t know who Hydra is, they’re an international group of villainous superspies. The organization was founded by a Nazi war criminal named Baron Von Strucker and they’re always trying to take over the world or destroy it. Hydra hasn’t had much success on either front but it’s not for lack of trying. Fortunately, there’s another super secret organization that’s been founded to keep Hydra from reaching their goals. The name of this organization is S.H.I.E.L.D. and they are headquartered in a big flying helicarrier thing. So, if you work for S.H.I.E.L.D., you not only get to save the world but you also have a hell of a work commute.
Anyway, Hydra’s latest plan is to steal the body of their founder and somehow not only bring him back to life but to also spread a deadly virus across the world. S.H.I.E.L.D. knows that it’s going to take the world’s greatest secret agent to defeat this plot but, unfortunately, Nick Fury (David Hasselhoff) is retired and living in an abandoned mine shaft in the Yukon. Nick wears an eye patch, smokes a cigar, and speaks in a permanently annoyed tone of voice. Nick’s done with saving the world. Or, at least, that’s what he thinks. When S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Lina Rinna) informs him that Hydra killed an old friend of his while stealing the Baron’s body, Nick emerges from the Yukon in search of revenge!
Long before Samuel L. Jackson donned the iconic eye patch and brought Nick Fury to life as one of the mainstays of the MCU, David Hasselhoff played the character in this made-for-TV movie from 1998. The movie was meant to serve as the pilot for a Nick Fury television series. (Hasselhoff, by this point, was looking to move on from Baywatch.) Of course, it wasn’t picked up and today, whenever this early Marvel film is mentioned, it’s usually in a somewhat dismissive manner.
And, believe me, I can understand that instinct to preemptively dismiss Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. I mean, it’s David Hasselhoff and its from the 90s and it was made for TV. I get it. But, having watched the movie on Saturday night, I have to say that it’s actually not that bad. It’s low budget. It’s campy. It’s thoroughly silly. The film is full of actors giving uncertain line readings. And yet, it’s also fast-paced and, when taken on its own admittedly “special” terms, rather entertaining. In the role of Nick Fury, Hasselhoff plays the role with just enough self-awareness to indicate that he’s in on the joke. He delivers his lines with just the right amount of deadpan humor and he chews on that cigar as if the fate of the world depends upon it. In short, as opposed to almost everyone else in the film, Hasselhoff appears to be having a good time. In fact, one could argue that David Hasselhoff is a good Nick Fury for the same reason that Samuel L. Jackson is a good Nick Fury. Both of them play the character as if he’s someone who secretly realizes that he’s a character in a comic book film and who is determined to have as much fun with the role as he can.
The film’s plot does occasionally border on being incoherent but, honestly, who cares? Are you really watching a film like this for the plot? There’s a lot of explosions and one-liners. Hasselhoff has fun with the lead role, as does Sandra Hess in the role of Strucker’s daughter. It’s a dumb but entertaining. It’s also only 90 minutes long so it’s not like you’re having to sacrifice a major part of your life to watch it. Explosions and a short running time, who can complain about that?
Through the Shattered Lens 