Retro Television Review: Saved By The Bell: The New Class 1.4 “Home Shopping”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Saved By The Bell: The New Class, which ran on NBC from 1993 to 2o00.  The show is currently on Prime.

This week, an old friend makes an appearance.

Episode 1.4 “Home Shopping”

(Dir by Don Barnhart, originally aired on October 2nd, 1993)

With the entire school freaking out about midterms and Scott and Lindsay working in the school store (which apparently is just a cardboard sign set up next to a trashcan in the hall), Scott comes up with a brilliant idea.  Why not start a home shopping network on Baywatch’s TV station?  And why not sell a special memory tonic that is basically just chocolate syrup and fish oil?

Soon, the entire school is drinking Chocolate Memory.  Evil old Dr. Hammersmith (David Byrd) announces that he’s going to make his midterm even more difficult as a way to combat the use of Chocolate Memory.  Scott recruits James the Actor (Mark Blankfield) to pretend to be a Harvard professor who is willing to offer Dr. Hammersmith a job but only if Dr. Hammersmith gives an easy midterm.

James the Actor, I should mention, appeared in a handful of episodes of the original Saved By The Bell.  He was a waiter at the Maxx and an actor who would happily put on a fake beard whenever Zack needed to fool someone.  It’s not a  surprise that he would come back for Saved By The Bell: The New Class.  What is a surprise is that Scott — a transfer student from another school — somehow knows who James is.  In fact, how do any of the members of the new cast know James as well as they do?  James was Zack’s friend and now, suddenly, he’s Scott’s friend.  It seems like James, a grown man approaching 50, just liked hanging out with high school students and helping them with their zany schemes.  Red flag!  Red flag!

Oh, this episode was dumb.  Presumably, everyone flunked their midterms, except for Megan who was so worried about fooling Mr. Hammersmith that she actually studied for them.  What’s funny is that the “difficult” questions that Mr. Hammersmith asked weren’t that difficult.  I mean, if you can’t remember the year that the Boston Tea Party occurred, maybe you should be held back a grade or two.  (1773, by the way.)

One of the more familiar complaints about the first season of Saved By The Bell: The New Class is that it didn’t do much to differentiate itself from the original series.  It just brought in a bunch of new people and had them act like Zack, Slater, Kelly, and Weasel.  That’s certainly true in this case.  As I watched Scott go through the motions with his wacky scheme, I found myself suspecting that the episode’s script probably just had a line marked through “Zack” and “Scott” added in pencil.

At the end of the episode, Megan and Scott share a smile and agree that they make a great team.  “Whooooo!” the audience shouts.  I guess they make an okay team.  I mean, they managed to get everyone in the school to drink a potentially lethal combination of fish oil and chocolate syrup.  If Megan wants to become a professional con artist, I guess she’s found her man.

January Positivity: Mercy Streets (dir by Jon Gunn)


2000’s Mercy Streets is a strange film.

Two twin brothers, John and Jeremiah, grew up in a series of terrible group homes.  One night, John fell off a bridge and Jeremiah failed to rescue him from the water below.  Jeremiah was convinced that John drowned.  Wracked with guilt, Jeremiah turned his life around.  He became an upstanding citizen and, as an adult, he’s an Episcopal deacon who is just a few weeks away from being ordained.  His girlfriend (Cynthia Watros) loves him but can tell that he’s not always open with her about his past and his emotions.

What Jeremiah doesn’t know is that John did not drown.  He survived and grew up to be a career criminal.  Having spent the last few years in jail, he tracks down his mentor, Rome (Eric Roberts), as soon as he’s released.  (That’s right!  This is an Eric Roberts film!)  Rome wants John to help him out with a scheme involving counterfeit money.  John decides to grab the money and run.  When Rome can’t catch John, he decides to abduct Jeremiah instead.

Meanwhile, John takes over Jeremiah’s life.  Pretending to be his brother, John fixes Jeremiah’s relationship with his girlfriend and he even proves to be better at delivering sermons than Jeremiah, despite the fact that John is not religious at all.  While Jeremiah gets a crash course in how to be a counterfeiter, John learns how to be an upstanding member of society.

Of course, it doesn’t last.  Jeremiah eventually escapes from Rome and finds himself on the streets, where he struggles to not fall into the same criminal lifestyle that previously captured his brother.  Fortunately, Jeremiah runs into a priest named Tom (Stacy Keach), who offers some good advice.  Meanwhile, John learns about the importance of forgiveness and redemption and discovers that Jeremiah has spent his entire life mourning the brother who he thought was dead.

Mercy Streets is an odd mix of religion and action.  On the one hand, the film features David A.R. White playing two brothers who feel like they could have walked out of one of his wholesome Pureflix  movies.  (White, while being a decent actor, is not exactly the most believable hardened criminal that I’ve ever seen.)  On the other hand, you’ve got Eric Roberts teaching Jeremiah how to be a criminal and basically taking over the entire film whenever he’s onscreen.  (The scene where Rome teaches Jeremiah how to pass fake money is surprisingly well-acted and directed.)  The movie runs into the same problem that plagued many a DeMille production.  The heroes may all be Godly but the sinners appear to be having more fun.  That said, this film at least reminds us of what a good actor Eric Roberts can be when he’s got a decent role.

Previous Eric Roberts Films That We Have Reviewed:

  1. Star 80 (1983)
  2. Blood Red (1989)
  3. The Ambulance (1990)
  4. The Lost Capone (1990)
  5. Love, Cheat, & Steal (1993)
  6. Love Is A Gun (1994)
  7. Sensation (1994)
  8. Dark Angel (1996)
  9. Doctor Who (1996)
  10. Most Wanted (1997)
  11. Wolves of Wall Street (2002)
  12. Mr. Brightside (2004)
  13. Six: The Mark Unleased (2004)
  14. Hey You (2006)
  15. In The Blink of an Eye (2009)
  16. Enemies Among Us (2010)
  17. The Expendables (2010) 
  18. Sharktopus (2010)
  19. The Dead Want Women (2012)
  20. Deadline (2012)
  21. The Mark (2012)
  22. Miss Atomic Bomb (2012)
  23. Bonnie And Clyde: Justified (2013)
  24. Lovelace (2013)
  25. The Mark: Redemption (2013)
  26. Self-Storage (2013)
  27. This Is Our Time (2013)
  28. Inherent Vice (2014)
  29. Road to the Open (2014)
  30. Rumors of War (2014)
  31. Amityville Death House (2015)
  32. A Fatal Obsession (2015)
  33. Stalked By My Doctor (2015)
  34. Enemy Within (2016)
  35. Joker’s Poltergeist (2016)
  36. Prayer Never Fails (2016)
  37. Stalked By My Doctor: The Return (2016)
  38. The Wrong Roommate (2016)
  39. Dark Image (2017)
  40. Black Wake (2018)
  41. Stalked By My Doctor: Patient’s Revenge (2018)
  42. Clinton Island (2019)
  43. Monster Island (2019)
  44. The Savant (2019)
  45. Seven Deadly Sins (2019)
  46. Stalked By My Doctor: A Sleepwalker’s Nightmare (2019)
  47. The Wrong Mommy (2019)
  48. Exodus of a Prodigal Son (2020)
  49. Free Lunch Express (2020)
  50. Her Deadly Groom (2020)
  51. Top Gunner (2020)
  52. Deadly Nightshade (2021)
  53. Just What The Doctor Ordered (2021)
  54. Killer Advice (2021)
  55. The Poltergeist Diaries (2021)
  56. The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)
  57. A Town Called Parable (2021)
  58. Bleach (2022)
  59. My Dinner With Eric (2022)
  60. Aftermath (2024)
  61. The Wrong Life Coach (2024)