Tonight, I’ve decided to share a bonus hour of televised horror. Tonight, we present to you an episode of Baywatch Nights that originally aired on February 9th, 1997. In this one, two 900 year-old Vikings are causing chaos in Los Angeles! Who can stop them?
David Hasselhoff, of course!
(You can read my review of this beautifully odd episode here. Valhalla!)
Every Monday night at 9:00 Central Time, my wife Sierra and I host a “Live Movie Tweet” event on X using the hashtag #MondayMuggers. We rotate movie picks each week, and our tastes are quite different. Tonight, Monday May 12th, we are showing STRATEGIC COMMAND (1997) starring Michael Dudikoff, Paul Winfield, Richard Norton, Amanda Wyss, Bryan Cranston, and Michael Cavanaugh.
This movie focuses on Rick Harding (Michael Dudikoff), a former Marines officer, who’s now working in the FBI as a chemical weapons designer. While packing up one night, a group of armed soldiers break into the FBI research lab. Interestingly, these soldiers are led by a man named Carlos Gruber (Richard Norton).
So, join us tonight for #MondayMuggers and watch STRATEGIC COMMAND! It’s on Amazon Prime. The trailer is included below:
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
This week, it’s werewolf time!
Episode 2.16 “Zargtha”
(Dir by Rick Jacobson, originally aired on April 5th, 1997)
The discovery of a murdered teenage runaway on the beach leads to Mitch investigating a series of killings involving homeless teens. The police think that the murders must be the result of a wild animal, a wolf of some sort. Daimont Teague shows up to tell Mitch that he thinks the killer is a Zargtha, a type of Eastern European werewolf that has found its way to California.
Mitch declares that he’s seen a lot of things over the past few months but there’s no way that he’s going to buy into the idea of a werewolf from Eastern Europe.
Okay, let’s consider this. Over the past few months, Mitch has
That’s just some of what Mitch has seen since the start of the second season of Baywatch Nights. And yet, after all that, a werewolf is just too out there!? I know that Mitch is supposed to be a skeptic and I respect that. I’m a skeptic myself. But there’s a point where skepticism becomes stupidity. I may not believe in vampires but that’s going to quickly change if I ever meet one.
After learning that there’s a group of homeless teenagers living in abandoned building, Mitch and the head of the local shelter, Cindy (Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff), try to find and warn them before the killer reaches them. Complicating this matter is that a recent earthquake is threatening to make the building come crashing down and also, the killer is already in the building. And yes, the killer is a werewolf from Eastern Europe.
This was actually a pretty good episode. Though the werewolf makeup wasn’t that great, the creature’s ferocious growls and the relentless way that it would attack still made it far more effective than the usual Baywatch Nights monster. As well, the abandoned building turned out to be a wonderfully atmospheric and creepy location. For once, all the Dutch angles felt appropriate. This episode played out like a nightmare and I imagine, back in 1997, it was probably quite scary to watch with the lights out and maybe a storm raging outside.
Pamela Bach-Hasselhoff was married to David Hasselhoff when this episode was filmed. That may explain why Ryan is barely in this episode and, for the first time in a long time, there’s no scenes of Ryan and Mitch flirting. Instead, Mitch spends this episode protecting Cindy and the kids. That’s kind of sweet. Good for the Hoff!
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!
From Iceland to Malibu, you can’t keep a good Viking down.
Episode 2.12 “Frozen Out Of Time”
(DIr by Rick Jacobson, originally aired on February 9th, 1997)
After a volcanic eruption in Iceland, a frozen Viking boat is discovered floating in the ocean. Inside the boat are two Vikings, who have spent the past 900 years in blocks of ice. Under the orders of Dr. Lancaster (Edward Mulhare), the Vikings are transported to Malibu. Lancaster’s plan is to thaw the Vikings out and see if they can be revived. Daimont Teague, who has a habit of popping up anywhere that someone is trying to do something stupid, is not sure if Dr. Lancaster knows what he’s doing so he decides to call Mitch and Ryan to the lab.
Now, you can justifiably say, “What is Mitch going to do with a frozen Viking?” It’s a legitimate question. Of course, you can also wonder why Dr. Lancaster thinks that he’ll be able to revive the Vikings. I mean, they’ve been frozen for 900 years! That’s a long time to float around in a block of ice.
Of course, the Vikings are revived. Unfortunately, it turns out that they were on that boat because they were trying to settle a blood feud. The first Viking (Sven-Ole Thorsen) goes on a rampage through the lab and then runs around Malibu pier. Mitch and Griff are able to capture him and bring him back to the lab. Unfortunately, the other Viking (Nils Allen Stewart) has woken up and the two Vikings soon reignite their interrupted duel to the death.
I’m actually leaving out a few details but you can probably guess everything that happens in this episode from what I’ve told you. It’s not really a shock when Mitch turns out to be an expert in Viking culture. It’s also not a surprise when the two Vikings end up killing each other and Mitch gives them a traditional Viking funeral. It’s not just that Mitch puts them on a wooden raft and then shoots a flaming arrow at it. It’s that Mitch dramatically yells, “Valhalla!” while doing so.
Myself, I’m a bit curious about how the Vikings manage to go right back to fighting as soon as they thawed out. It would seem like, after 900 years of lying prone in one position, they would be a little bit stiff. I would imagine that there would at least be some backpain or maybe a touch of arthritis. (I mean, I’m not even 40 and I’ve already got arthritis in my ankle.) Also consider that the Vikings have no trouble breathing the air, despite the fact that Los Angeles’s polluted air is undoubtedly a lot different from what their lungs are used to. And that’s not even to mention all of the germs that the Vikings have never experienced before. It seems like the Vikings should have at least had a cold or something.
Was this episode a good one? Hey, it featured David Hasselhoff, Angie Harmon, and two 900 year-old Vikings. Of course, it was good! Baywatch Nights is always at its best when it embraces the absurdity and there’s nothing more absurd than this episode.
Tonight, with Halloween only a few days away, The Shattered Lens is proud to present a bonus episode of televised horror! In this beloved episode of Baywatch Nights, two 900 year-old Vikings are causing chaos in Los Angeles! Who can stop them?
David Hasselhoff, of course!
This episode originally aired on February 9th, 1997!
In the 1997 film, Strategic Command, Richard Norton plays a terrorist named Carlos …. wait for it …. Gruber. If that last name sounds familiar, that’s because the villain of Die Hard was named Hans Gruber and the bad guy from Die Hard With A Vengeance was named Simon Gruber. Gruber — the number one name in hostage situations!
Anyway, Carlos Gruber and his fellow terrorists steal a chemical called Bromax from the FBI. Bromax is a chemical weapon, one that can be used to kill thousands of people. It’s probably not a good idea for anyone to have Bromax, regardless of whether they are terrorists or the FBI. What’s the point of Bromax, really? It only has evil purposes. Plus, it has a stupid name.
Gruber proceeds to hijack Air Force Two, holding the Vice President (Michael Cavanaugh) and several journalists hostage. Gruber wants his fellow terrorists to be released from prison and he’s prepared to kill the Vice President if he doesn’t get what he wants. Perhaps because Gruber realizes how little the Vice President actually does, Gruber is also willing to spray Bromax over America.
Not wanting to see America get Bromaxed, the President sends an elite force of special op. soldiers after Air Force Two. Captain Rattner (Jsu Garcia, back when he was still using the name Nick Corri) is in charge of the mission and he doesn’t expect there to be any slip-ups. Accompanying Rattner’s men is Rick Harding (Michael Dudikoff!), the inventor of Bromax! Along with not wanting to see Bromax sprayed over America, Harding also wants to save the life of his wife, Michelle (Amanda Wyss, who co-starred with Jsu Garcia in the original Nightmare on Elm Street). Michelle is one of the journalists on the plane.
Strategic Command is stupid, yet strangely likable. It’s impossible not to admire the film’s attempt to be a huge action epic without actually spending any money. As a result, Air Force 2 is a commercial airliner. There’s a surprisingly small number of people involved on both sides of the plot. The viewer might expect the hostage situation to be one of those big, “all hands on deck” emergencies but, instead, the President is content to send 6 people to get the job done. Fortunately, there aren’t that many terrorists either. This is action on a budget.
Adding to the film’s overall strangeness is the miscasting of Michael Dudikoff as a quiet and somewhat nerdy scientist. This is one of those films where the viewer is meant to assume that a character is smart just because he’s wearing glasses. Dudikoff is so miscast that, again, it all becomes strangely likable. He and Richard Norton are so enthusiastic about chewing up the scenery that it’s kind of fun to watch. Also fun to watch is the legitimate great actor Bryan Cranston, cast here as a vain and cowardly anchorman. One gets the feeling that this is probably not a film that Cranston brags about but his performance isn’t bad at all. Every film like this needs to have a self-important reporter who can get humiliated in some fashion and Cranston handles the role like a pro.
Strategic Command is dumb but kind of fun, in the way that many 90s direct-to-video action films tend to be. It’s a good film for when you want to watch something that won’t necessarily require your full attention. In fact, the less thought one gives to what happens in Strategic Command, the better. Watch it for Dudikoff, Norton, and especially the one and only Bryan Cranston!
Tonight on Baywatch Nights…
A mythical wolf man from Eastern Europe is murdering runaways in Los Angeles. Can David Hasselhoff and Angie Harmon save the day?
Watch to find out!
And remember … “Don’t go out at night, or the zargtha will get you!”
(Zargtha originally aired on April 5th, 1997)
Forget everything you know about vampires!
Did you think that vampires could only go out at night? Wrong. They can run around in broad daylight.
Did you think that you needed a cross or a stake to kill a vampire? Wrong. You can break their necks or use a shotgun.
Did you think that we get new vampires by vampires biting their victims late at night? Wrong. Vampires can only breed during a solar eclipse.
Did you think that there’s thousands of vampires hiding out across the world? Wrong. There’s only seven left.
That’s the idea behind Night Hunter, which stars Don “The Dragon” Wilson as Jack Cutter. Cutter’s grandparents were vampire hunters. His parents were vampire hunters. Cutter was destined to be a vampire hunter. And now that he’s the only member of his family left alive, he is determined to wipe out the last few remaining vampires. Jack has two problems. The first is that the police don’t believe in vampires so they just think that Jack is going around Los Angeles and killing random people. The second is that a solar eclipse is rapidly approaching and, if the vampires breed, all of Jack’s work will be for nothing. Accompanied by a plucky tabloid reporter named Raimy (Melanie Smith), Jack searches for the king of the vampires. Not coincidentally, Raimy looks just like the woman that the king once loved over a hundred years ago.
For a direct-to-video vampire film, Night Hunter’s not bad. Wilson may not have been a great actor but he was one of the best kick boxers in the world and this brings a verisimilitude to Night Hunter‘s action scenes that most direct-to-video action films couldn’t hope to duplicate. Rick Jacobson directed the majority of Wilson’s films and, in Night Hunter, he keeps things moving along at a steady pace. Night Hunter doesn’t waste any time getting to the vampire action and it never pretends to be anything more than what it is. Best of all, the film’s got Maria Ford as a French vampire named Tourneur who says things like, “I will not await vengeance, the hunter will die!”
When I first watched Night Hunter, I thought that it was a rip-off of Blade but Blade actually came out two years after Night Hunter. Unless Don “The Dragon” Wilson (who co-produced) was a fan of Tomb of Dracula, the similarities between the two films are probably coincidental. While Night Hunter may not be Blade, it’s still pretty damn cool.
Through the Shattered Lens 