What better way to start the week than with the latest music video from Kylie Minogue and Sia?
For a long time, I resented Sia for hijacking the finale of Survivor 32 and spending so much time talking about her love for Tai that we never got a chance to hear why the jury had voted for Michele over Aubrey. But eventually I realized that was more Jeff Probst’s fault as opposed to Sia’s. Sia may have run out on stage unannounced but Probst is the one who let her stick around. Plus, Music was such a bizarrely ill-conceived film that it’s hard not to appreciate Sia’s refusal to be anyone other than Sia.
(For the record, I think Michele won because the overly analytical Aubrey seemed like she was probably a bit of a pain to live with on the beach.)
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sunday, I will be reviewing the Canadian series, Degrassi Junior High, which aired on CBC and PBS from 1987 to 1989! The series can be streamed on YouTube!
This week, we check back in with Stephanie and Arthur.
Episode 2.9 “Dog Days”
(Dir by Kit Hood, originally aired on February 29th, 1988)
Stephanie is feeling depressed. She no longer cares about keeping up her grades. She no longer changes clothes or puts on makeup when she arrives at school. She wants nothing to do with her former best friends, the Farrell Twins. She’s no longer interested in being school president or even trying to capture Simon’s attention.
When her friends, her teachers, and her mother ask her why she’s so depressed, Stephanie refuses to tell them. “Maybe I’ll just kill myself,” she says at one point and while the Farrell Twins assume that she’s just being overdramatic, the viewer knows that Stephanie has been skipping school so that she can gaze up at a bridge and fantasize about jumping off.
(The bridge that appears in this episode was an actual bridge in Toronto that was nicknamed “Suicide Bridge,” because so many people did jump from it. So, Canadian viewers would have immediately understood the horrible significance of Stephanie standing in front of that particular bridge and staring up at it.)
Meanwhile, Stephanie’s mother wants Arthur to come over for dinner. Arthur is curious about the dinner but he’s also very concerned about what he’s going to do with Phil, an adorable puppy that has started following him around. Arthur tries to take the dog to school with him, hiding him first in his book bag and secondly in the school’s boiler room. Both times, the dog is discovered and Arthur eventually ends up with detention. Myself, I’m not a dog person but I thought the puppy was adorable and he definitely should have been enrolled in the school.
At dinner, Stephanie and Arthur’s mom announces that she’s getting married to Jerry, her latest boyfriend. Stephanie throws a tantrum and Arthur grabs Phil and leaves the house. Stephanie follows after him and finds him in the park. They have a conversation about how awkward their parents’ divorce has made their lives while sitting in the swings and Stephanie cheers up a little, realizing that Arthur will always be there for her.
During the first season of Degrassi Junior High, nearly every episode focused on Stephanie and Arthur. Up until this episode, they spent most of the second season in the background, overshadowed by the drama surrounding Spike’s pregnancy and Joey’s dreams of rock stardom. For me, as someone who likes to keep up with what’s going on with people, it was kind of nice to see the two of them finally get another spotlight episode. This episode hit close to home for me, as I struggled with depression when I was in high school and I also used to make life Hell for anyone who thought he could be my stepfather. I related to Stephanie in this episode and Nicole Stoffman did a great job of capturing the feeling of oppressive ennui that had afflicted her. Duncan Waugh also gave a good performance as Arthur, with this episode showing how much he had matured since the first season while also acknowledging that Arthur is still basically a very naive kid. I just hope he was allowed to keep the dog.
In typical Degrassi Junior High fashion, this episode ends without any clear or definite resolution. Stephanie is doing a little better but she’s still depressed and she’s still angry about her mom marrying Jerry. That was one of the great things about Degrassi. Whereas other shows always tried to wrap everything up in 30 minutes or an hour, Degrassi had the courage to admit that things were not always that easy or simple.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay. Today’s film is 1971’s The Death Of Me Yet! It can be viewed on YouTube.
Welcome to Middletown!
Middletown is a nice, comfy, and friendly little town. As you might guess from the name, it seems just like the type of town that you would expect to find in the middle of the country. Edward Young (Doug McClure) is a friendly and popular citizen of the town. Everyone loves to see Edward walking around Middletown with his girlfriend, Alice (Meg Foster, of the otherworldly eyes). But one day, Edward comes home to find a message waiting for him. He has been “activated” and it’s time for him to leave Middletown and head to …. THE UNITED STATES!
You see, Middletown is in the middle of a country. It’s in the middle of Russia, to be exact. It’s a KGB training center, where sleeper agents learn how to pass for Americans.
Edward heads to America, where he takes on the name of Paul Towers. Over the years, Paul settles in a town that looks a lot like Middletown. Paul becomes a newspaper publisher and he comes to love America. He also marries Sibby (Rosemary Forsyth), the sister of defense contract Hank Keller (Dana Elcar). When one of Hank’s executives dies under mysterious circumstances, Hank offers to bring Paul into the business.
Paul is reluctant, both because he doesn’t know if he could pass the background check that the FBI is going to run on him and also because he suspects that someone is trying to kill him! When he sees Alice and his former KGB handler (Richard Basehart) in town, Paul realizes that he’s going to have to pick a side and face the consequences of all of his actions.
The Death of Me Yet is an enjoyably twisty thriller, one that embraces the melodrama while having some fun with the idea of a bunch of sleeper agents doing business in a generic American town. Doug McClure’s natural earnestness makes him an odd choice for the role of a lifelong spy but the casting works in that it explains why no one has ever suspected Paul in the past. As always, Darren McGavin is a welcome presence as the FBI agent who assures Paul that he will be doing a thorough background check. Richard Basehart makes for a good villain and Meg Foster’s enigmatic screen presence keeps the viewer guessing as to what her ultimate goal may be.
The film ends with the hint of continued adventures for Paul. It wouldn’t surprise me if this movie was made with an eye on turning it into a weekly series. As far as I know, that series never happened, though The Americans would later feature many of the same themes and ideas found in The Death of Me Yet. The Death of Me Yet holds up as an entertaining espionage thriller.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewingthe Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, Edna and Leslie discover they have a lot in common!
Episode 1.20 “Edna’s New Friend”
(Dir by Alan Erlich, originally aired on February 26th, 1986)
Brace yourself. We are once again about to explore Howard and Edna’s relationship.
Check It Out!, at least during its first season, was never particularly consistent when it came to the details of Howard and Edna’s relationship. Sometimes, Howard was the most romantic man on the planet and then, other times, he was an insensitive jerk who was incapable of understanding why Edna wouldn’t want to spend all of her time watching television at his apartment. Sometimes, Edna was down-to-Earth and realistic and, other times, she was flighty and seemingly living in a world of her own. In this episode, we’re back to Howard being a jerk and Edna wanting to experience life outside of going to work and then over to Howard’s apartment.
Edna has tickets to the ballet. As she explains, they cost her a lot of money and she’s superexcited about having managed to get them. However, Howard doesn’t care about the ballet (“I don’t like Russian ballerinas,” he explains) and he’s already made plans to watch television that night. Edna asks Jennifer if she wants to go but Jennifer has an appointment at a tanning salon. Marlene has a date and is planning on taking him to a “slam dance, so if I don’t like him, at least I’ll get to hurt him.” Finally, Edna asks Leslie, who once lived in Paris and who is a ballet fanatic!
Leslie is also a guy but he’s gay so Howard isn’t concerned about him going out with Edna. Or, at least, Howard isn’t worried until Christian suggests that Edna might try to “convert” Leslie because “women love a challenge.” Howard starts to panic….
Of course, what Howard should be panicking about is the super cheap beef that Christian has been buying and re-selling in the store. It’s not beef, at all. It’s horse meat! When the truth comes out, the customers form an angry mob. Marlene even joins them because “it was either be destroyed or become their leader.”
The character of Leslie has been one of the more interesting parts of the first season of Check It Out! Today, of course, it doesn’t seem like a big deal for a show to feature a regular character who is gay. But, by the standards of most 1980s sitcoms that I’ve seen, Check It Out! was often downright progressive in its portrayal of Leslie as being an openly gay, angst-free, and happy man who was a friend to and respected by all of his co-workers, even the stupid ones. And while this episode does feature some humor centered around Leslie’s sexuality, the target of the joke is always Howard’s insecurity and Christian’s ignorance. Again, this might not sound like much but you have to keep in mind that this is a nearly 40 year-old show. When Check it Out! aired, most gay characters were either over-the-top caricatures that audiences were invited to laugh at or special guest stars who only existed to teach a lesson to the show’s regulars and who certainly didn’t return for a second appearance. As corny and old-fashioned as Check it Out! could be, it was ahead-of-its-time when it came to Leslie.
As for the episode itself, it’s okay. This is one of those episodes that leaves you wondering why Edna puts up with Howard but the stuff with the horsemeat was funny. Marlene deciding to join the angry mob made me laugh. Marlene is a force of chaos! That’s something that this uneven but often funny show really needed.
On Sunday, I discovered that there are hundreds of episodes of Blind Date on YouTube. Blind Date was an early reality show, where two strangers would be set up on a blind date and the cameras would follow them as they searched for a deeper connection. The show was distinguished by its snarky attitude, which was usually represented by thought balloons that would show what the two people were “really” thinking. While plenty of episodes featured likable people who went on good dates, the disastrous dates were always a lot more fun to watch.
And I’ve watched a lot of them this week. Whenever I’ve been bored or I’ve found myself struggling to focus, I’ve pulled up an episode of Blind Date and …. well, I’d be lying if I said the show was making me more productive. If anything, I’ve probably wasted a lot of time on it. But still, it makes me smile when I need to smile.
On Sunday, I also watched The Oscars. I wrote about the show here. For the most part, it was an entertaining show and I’m glad Christopher Nolan finally won his Oscar. I’ve been thinking a lot about Jonathan Glazer’s acceptance speech, of which I was not a fan. Zone of Interest is an important film and Glazer’s speech can’t change that. Still, I’m having to do now what I always tell me friends they should do whenever they discover one of their favorite directors or actors isn’t as much of a leftist as they are. I always tell them to stop whining and just separate the work from the artist. And now I’m discovering that is easier said than done. I may owe some of my friends an apology.
On Tuesday, I watched a 90s talk show called Rolanda. Rolanda interviewed gang members who wanted to come out of the closet.
On Wednesday, I was excited to watch both Survivor and The Amazing Race! Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to full concentrate on either show because I got a call halfway through Survivor but I plan on rewatching both episodes tomorrow. Survivor, I have to admit, hasn’t really worked for me lately. Ever since it came back from the Pandemic hiatus, Survivor has felt like a shadow of its past self. But I continue to unreservedly love The Amazing Race.
On Friday, I watched episodes of Vanishing Shadow and Night Flight on Night Flight Plus. The Night Flight episode featured film directors who made music videos. I’ve noticed that every episode of Night Flight finds an excuse to show Brian DePalma’s video for Relax and this episode was no different.
On Saturday morning, I watched the first episode of an old anime called Bubblegum Crash. I have no idea what was going on for most of it but a lot of stuff did blow up.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC from 1975 to 1979. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!
This week, in a special Thanksgiving episode, Freddie is accused of cheating.
Episode 3.13 “Swine and Punishment”
(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on November 24th, 1977)
At the new apartment, Gabe tells Julie about the time his Uncle Thomas came across a man who had his ear to the ground. Uncle Thomas listened to the ground and heard nothing. The man agreed and said that it had been that way for hours. It was a bit of an odd joke but Julie laughed.
Meanwhile, at the school, Mr. Woodman interrupts Gabe’s class to announce that Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington passed his English test. He got a 94!
YAY!
Mr. Woodman says that there’s no way that Freddie could have passed the test without cheating.
Boo! Hiss! Hiss!
Seriously, Mr. Woodman’s usually a great character and John Sylvester White’s unhinged performance is one of the few consistently funny things about this show (especially in the later seasons) but Woodman is the worst in this episode. One of the Sweathogs finally does well in a class that isn’t taught by Mr. Kotter and Woodman accuses him of cheating. No wonder the Sweathogs don’t have any self-esteem.
Woodman says that Freddie can prove his innocence by taking and passing a make-up exam. Freddie refuses and Gabe supports him. But when the other Sweathogs talk about how proud they are of Freddie, Freddie relents and agrees to take the makeup test.
That night, Freddie shows up at the Kotter apartment. After thanking Gabe for supporting him, Freddie reveals that he did cheat on the first test. He cheated because he knew the material (apparently, Freddie is a huge fan of Alexandre Dumas and The Three Musketeers) and he couldn’t stand the idea of getting a bad grade on material that he knew. Freddie’s self-esteem is so low that he’s convinced that he can’t pass a test without cheating.
Awwwwww! Poor Freddie!
With Gabe’s encouragement, Freddie takes the makeup exam without cheating. (The other Sweathogs attempt to write the answers on a gyro sandwich but Horshack screws it up by putting mustard on the sandwich and …. well, look, it was all really dumb, okay?) Freddie again passes the exam, this time getting an 84.
Yay!
But Gabe tells Freddie that he still needs to tell the truth about cheating on the first exam….
WHAT!? Gabe — what are you thinking!?
Freddie agrees that Gabe is right and I can only assume that he got kicked out of school as a result. Sorry, Freddie, it was nice knowing you.
Back at the Kotter apartment, Julie refuses to listen to Gabe talk about his Uncle Robert so Gabe talks to the Thanksgiving turkey instead.
This episode felt very familiar to me and eventually, I realized that it was basically just a remake of the season two episode where Freddie was accused of stealing from the Sweathog emergency fund. Of course, during the earlier seasons, there’s no way Gabe would have pressured Freddie to confess. By the time the third season rolled around, the Sweathogs and Gabe had lost a bit of their edge and were now more concerned with being good role models.
That said, this episode deserves some credit for giving Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs a showcase. Of all the Sweathogs, Freddie was often the one who was regulated to just standing in the background and looking cool. With this episode, the viewer is reminded that Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs was a good actor in his own right and capable of playing both drama and comedy.
Next week …. it’s Epstein’s turn in the spotlight!
This video was directed by the man who edited the controversial 1983 film, Angst. This video was also controversial and was banned in New Zealand for being too violent. Compared to what I see whenever I scroll through my twitter timeline, this video seems incredibly tame (albeit entertaining) today.
Myself, I would never order anyone to destroy a musical instrument. Well, I guess I would if it was like a harmonica or something. Don’t get me started on harmonicas. Unless you’re Charles Bronson in Once Upon A Time In The West, stay away from the harmonica. I’m looking at you, Tim Kaine.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, a reporter uses a cursed camera to make the news!
Episode 1.21 “Double Exposure”
(Dir by Neill Fearnley, originally aired on May 16th, 1988)
As you may remember, at the end of the previous episode, Ryan reluctantly left the Pentite Community and returned to Toronto so that he could continue to help Micki and Jack track down the cursed antiques. When he left, he promised Laura that he would always love her.
Well, that didn’t last long. This episode opens with a Ryan in a photobooth, taking pictures of himself and his new girlfriend, Cathy! RYAN, YOU CAD! Now, in Ryan’s defense, Cathy is played by Catherine Disher (who previously played the supercool Sophie in the first season of T and T) and she seems like a much better match for Ryan than the somewhat dour Laura. Cathy and Ryan actually have fun together! Of course, this is Friday the 13th and that means that all fun is temporary.
There’s a serial killer stalking Toronto and Ryan just happens to witness him murdering his latest victim in an alley. To Ryan’s shock, the killer appears to Winston Knight (Gary Frank), a television news anchorman who is currently getting huge rating because of his reporting on the killings. But how can that be? When Ryan witnesses the murder, Winston is live on the air, delivering the news. Winston even gets a phone call from someone claiming to be the murderer.
Winston speculates that the killer might be an obsessed fan who is wearing a Winston Knight mask. Of course, the truth of the matter is that Winston is using a cursed camera to take a picture of himself. The picture then turns into a doppelganger of Winston. The Doppelganger commits a murder, Winston reports on the tragedy, and then, after five hours, Winston sets the negative on fire and the Doppelganger is destroyed. If Winston doesn’t destroy the negative after five hours, Winston will be the one who is destroyed and the Doppelganger will become human. It all sounds a bit complicated, to be honest. You have to wonder how Winston managed to figure all of this out.
Anyway, the important thing is that Winston is eventually exposed as the murderer. While trying to kill Ryan at the antique store, the Doppelganger is stabbed by Ryan. It doesn’t hurt the Doppelganger until Winston fails to burn the negative and vanishes from existence. The Doppelganger becomes human and then promptly drops dead of his wound. Ryan conquers another cursed antique but, unfortunately, not before the Doppelganger murders Cathy. The episode ends not on a note of triumph but instead with Ryan looking at a picture of Cathy and tearing up.
Wow, what a dark episode! Sometimes, it’s easy to forget that, on this show, Ryan is basically a very naive and very earnest teenager. He falls in love easily, he always believes that things will turn out for the best, and his heart is broken nearly every time he has to retrieve an antique. Jack is used to the pain and Micki is a bit of a cynic but Ryan is still trying to balance happiness with the psychological damage that comes from seeing the worst things possible on a weekly basis. John D. LeMay and Catherine Disher were adorable together and it was hard not to get a bit upset when Cathy fell victim to the Doppelganger. This episode was sad but undeniably effective.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, the second season comes to an end!
Episode 2.20 “A Natural Death”
(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on May 22nd, 1989)
When a patient nearly dies at a hospital, the blame is placed on a nurse named Eloise (Elizabeth Hanna). Eloise is accused of falling asleep at her station. However, Eloise has never fallen asleep at her station in the past and she has a reputation for being a good nurse. Eloise retain Amy Taler to defend her at a board hearing and Amy sends T.S. to the hospital to investigate.
T.S. discovers that the patient is a retired gangster and he starts to suspect that maybe Eloise was set up by someone who wants him dead. But when Eloise herself announces that she no longer wants to to work at the hospital, T.S. comes to suspect that there’s even more to the story.
Oddly enough, there isn’t more to the story. A doctor who owes money to the mob drugged Eloise’s coffee and caused Eloise to fall asleep. The doctor then agreed to help Eloise find work at another hospital in return for dropping her appeal. When the gangsters shows up and demand that the doctor personally kill the patient, he agrees but — surprise! — he was just pretending to agree until T.S., Amy, and the cops could show up.
What a weird episode with which to end the second season. The mystery isn’t much of a mystery. T.S. Turner doesn’t beat anyone up. For whatever reason, both Amy and T.S. appear to be annoyed with the world in general for much of this episode. Amy rolls her eyes when Decker says that he wants to become a better businessman so his gym doesn’t go bankrupt. Turner rolls his eyes when Amy tells him that she wants him to investigate the hospital. Joe, the orphan who Amy and Turner more-or-less adopted at the start of the second season, is nowhere to be seen. This does not, in any way, feel like a season finale and it wouldn’t surprise me to discover that it had been meant to air earlier in the season.
What to say about the second season? It definitely wasn’t as good as the first season. If the first season was fun and energetic, the second season often felt dour. The cast often seemed to just be going through the motions and there was little of the intentional humor that occasionally distinguished the first season. Turner’s quips were a bit less amusing and the show didn’t seem to have the slightest idea what to do with Amy.
Speaking of Amy, this episode was also the finale for her character. Season 3 finds Tuner working for a new lawyer. We’ll find out more next week when we start looking at the final season of T and T.
Through the Shattered Lens 