Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!
This week, Gopher finds love!
Episode 4.22 “Sally’s Paradise/I Love You, Too, Smith/Mama and Me”
(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on March 7th, 1981)
Occasionally, on The Love Boat, a member of the crew would happen to find love.
It seemed to happen most often to Julie. Having watched three and three-quarters seasons of The Love Boat, I’ve lost track of the number of times that I’ve seen Julie tear up while saying goodbye to a passenger with whom she had fallen in love. Isaac also seems to have had his share of shipboard romances. Doc is almost always seen escorting someone to his cabin. The Captain is usually busy running the ship but he’s found a few opportunities to fall in love.
And then there’s Gopher. Poor, goofy Gopher. He’s had a handful of cruise romances but, compared to his co-workers, they tend to be few and far apart. This week, however, Gopher finally gets to have another romance. (Perhaps not coincidentally, the Gopher storyline was co-written by Fred Grandy.)
Angelina Blenderman (Joanna Pettet) is the by-the-book customs agent who always takes her time checking people’s luggage when they disembark from the ship. Blenderman and Gopher have an antagonistic relationship, with her making fun of him for wearing shorts with his uniform and Gopher complaining that Blenderman is a humorless scold. But when Blenderman boards the ship and Gopher discovers that her boyfriend, Ray (Christopher Pennock), is a total cad who is cheating on her, Gopher and Blenderman fall in love.
And you know what? It’s actually really sweet. Fred Grandy and Joanna Pettet had a lot of chemistry and they made for a cute couple. Pettet did an especially good job of capturing the insecurity lurking beneath the abrasive surface. My heart really broke for her when she first discovered Ray cheating on her. (Grandy himself had a nice moment where he shyly revealed to Blenderman that his little-used first name was actually “Burl.” “Stick with Smith,” Blenderman replies.) I was happy to see that Blenderman and Gopher were still together at the end of the cruise.
As for the other (less interesting) stories, Sally (Juliet Mills) is the manager of the ship’s gift shop. When Julie hears that Sally’s fiancé, Donald (Gary Conway), is boarding the ship, she is excited for Sally. Then Sally’s other fiancé, Ricardo (Pedro Armendariz, Jr.), unexpectedly boards the ship. And then Henry (Kenneth Kimmins) boards the ship and Julie learns that Sally has gotten engaged to a third man! None of the men know about each other. Sally explains to Julie that she loves something different about all three of them. When Donald, Ricardo, and Henry all stop by the gift shop at the same time, Sally’s secret is revealed. Realizing that she has to choose and having been assured by the men that they will respect her choice, Sally decides to remain single and continue to date all three of the men. Good for Sally! On the one hand, her actions are very manipulative, regardless of how much she loves each man. On the other hand, she is right when she says she has the right to explore different things and enjoy her life. Somehow, Juliet Mills makes Sally into a likable character. (One can only imagine how cringey this episode would have been if Hayley had played the role.)
Finally, Natalie Corson (Sylvia Sidney) boards the ship with her son, Stanley (Eddie Mekka). Natalie wants Stanley to marry a woman that he’s not in love with. Stanley would rather marry his childhood friend, Jill (Joan Prather). Natalie accuses Jill of being a nudist because she wears a bikini but eventually, Natalie comes to realize that she’s not being fair and her son deserves to be happy. The problem with this story was that Stanley was such a wimp that you couldn’t help but feel that Jill deserved better.
With the exception of the third story, this was a fun cruise. I’m glad Gopher found love and Sally found lust. It was an enjoyable trip on the boat that offers something for everyone.
Jamie Shannon (Christopher Walken) is a professional mercenary who is hired, by a British businessman, to overthrow the government of Zangaro. Though Zangaro is currently ruled by a ruthless dictator, Shannon’s employers want to replace him with someone even worse, all so they can get their hands on the country’s platinum mines. After Shannon is captured and tortured by the government, he wants nothing else to do with Zangaro. Instead, he wants to return to New York and propose to his ex-wife (JoBeth Williams). But, when she turns down his proposal, Shannon and his mercenary army return to Zangaro.
Leon Alastray (Anthony Quinn) is an outlaw in 18th century Mexico who is given sanctuary and hidden from the Spanish authorities by a kindly priest, Father Joseph (Sam Jaffe). In return, Leon agrees to escort the priest to a peasant village that is under siege from the Yaqui Indians. During the journey, Joseph dies and when Leon arrives at the village, he is mistaken for the priest. Even though Leon’s an atheist and a womanizer, he pretends to be a man of God and tries to broker a peace with the Yaqui’s bloodthirsty leader, Golden Lance (Jaime Fernandez). Standing in the way is Teclo (Charles Bronson), a mestizo rebel who wants to keep the Spanish and the Yaqui at war.
Through the Shattered Lens 