Patty Freedman | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, Ted Lange presents three stories of cruise ship love.

Episode 5.26 “Pal-I-Mony-O-Mine/Does Father Know Best?/An ‘A’ for Gopher”

(Dir by Ted Lange, originally aired on April 10th, 1982)

Dr. John Hanson (Ben Vereen) boards the ship with his new girlfriend, attorney Jenny Brooks (Denise Nicholas). John is shocked to discover that his former girlfriend, Ellen (Lynne Moody), is also on the cruise. Jenny befriends Ellen and, after listening to all the details of how Jenny supported John while he was going through medical school, she suggests that Ellen should sue John for palimony. Jenny even offers to help Ellen and John figure out how much John owes her. John agrees. As he and Ellen itemize their former relationship, they come to realize that they’re still in love. Sorry, Jenny! Jenny leaves the boat alone. John and Ellen leave the boat engaged. (Jenny does give them a bill for her legal services. John and Ellen have a good laugh.)

WOW! That’s not the type of story that you regularly see on The Love Boat. It’s rare for a passenger to leave as angry as Jenny did. What’s surprising is that neither Ellen nor John seemed to feel that bad about Jenny getting her heart broken. Then again, what was Jenny thinking when she invited Ellen back into their lives to begin with? This is why you’re never friendly with your significant other’s exes. I don’t care how nice they seem or act. They’re all potential enemies! I don’t care how polite they are when they approach you outside the Dallas Museum of Art and start speaking in their fakeass British accent, don’t trust them …. well, anyway, let’s move on.

Gopher is super-excited when his junior high English teacher, Susan Wilkham (Susan Strasberg), boards the ship. Gopher explains that he’s always had a crush on her and, now that Gopher is an adult, Susan appears to also now have a crush on him. (Don’t freak out, she doesn’t even realize he was a former student until he specifically mentions that he was in her class.) Except …. oh no! Captain Stubing has a crush on her as well! Well, don’t worry. Things work out for Gopher. While Vicki does not get a stepmother, Gopher gets a girlfriend who we will probably never hear about again. Fred Grandy and Susan Strasberg made for a surprisingly cute couple. (It helped that they both appeared to be the same age, despite the show’s effort to cast her as being “the older woman.”) Good for Gopher, it’s about time something good happened to him.

Finally, a father (Lloyd Bochner) encourages his nerdy son (Kevin Brophy) to hit on a beautiful but snobbish blonde (Kristina Wayborn). The son prefers the blonde’s shy best friend (Patty Freedman). On every episode of The Love Boat, there’s one story that doesn’t amount too much and that what this story was.

Hey, this episode was directed by Isaac Washington himself, Mr. Ted Lange! Obviously, The Love Boat isn’t really a show that demands or even allows an auteurist approach but I will say that this was one of the better acted episodes that I’ve seen. Vereen and Moody, Grandy and Strasberg, they all had plenty of chemistry. This was a truly pleasant cruise, despite Jenny’s anger.

After the past few cruises, I think we’re overdue for a good episode of The Love Boat. Let’s see if this week’s episode can deliver!

Episode 2.23 “A Funny Valentine/The Wallflower/Home is Not a Home”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on March 3rd, 1979)

Julie has decided that this week’s voyage is going to have a carnival theme and, in order to get everyone in the mood, she’s hired a fortune teller! Mary Louise (Samantha Eggar) claims that she can read palms but she’s even more interested in the art of phrenology, the study of heads. When she sees that Captain Stubing is bald, she can’t wait to see what the top of his shiny head says about his romantic future. Unfortunately, Stubing is in one of his depressed moods and says that fortune telling is for the young. He explains that he’s old and he already knows that he’s destined to spend the rest of his life alone.

Awwwww!

Luckily, Mary Louise has other ideas! The Captain is soon won over by Mary Louise’s free-spirited ways and her joi de vivre. But the Captain also realizes that, unless he holds a carnival every cruise, there’s really not much place for a fortune teller on the ship. The best that he can offer Mary Louise is a job in the gift shop. Realizing that their lives are just too different, Mary Louise leaves the boat without saying goodbye the Captain …. but then she returns to tell the Captain that maybe she will take that gift shop job.

Awwwwww!

But then the Captain tells her that she would be miserable working in a gift shop. (Hopefully, none of the other gift shop employees overheard him.) The Captain and Mary Louise part ways.

Again, awwwwwww!

It was a simple story but I have to say that Samantha Eggar and Gavin MacLeod had a surprising amount of chemistry and both of them gave really heartfelt performances in this episode. I found myself caring about them as a couple and hoping that things would work out. Of course, I knew things couldn’t work out because then the show would have to find a new captain.

While all that is going on, shy Sylvia (Patty Freedman) has finally taken the advice of her neighbor, Gopher. She has booked a cruise on the Love Boat! However, Sylvia is painfully shy and doesn’t even realize that there’s a passenger named Monroe (Zane Lasky) who has a crush on her. (Of course, Monroe is pretty shy himself.) Gopher decides that Sylvia needs a confidence boost so he sends her a rose at dinner and tells her it’s from a secret admirer. Unfortunately, Sylvia becomes so obsessed with finding her secret admirer that she continues to fail to notice Monroe trying to talk to her. When Sylvia returns to her cabin, she discovers hundreds of roses. When she tells Gopher about it, Gopher is confused because he didn’t send any roses to her cabin. For some reason, Gopher assumes that Sylvia is now delusional and that she only thought she saw all of the flowers in her cabin. Seeking to restore her sanity, Gopher confesses that he sent Sylvia the rose. Sylvia assumes that Gopher means that he sent all of the roses so, when Monroe confesses to sending the flowers to her cabin, she assumes that Monroe is making fun of her and….

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Yes, this is another story where all of the problems could have been easily resolved by everyone not acting like an idiot. But you know what? As much as stories like this usually tend to drive me crazy, I actually enjoyed this one. Patty Freedman and Zane Lasky both gave charming performances, even if their characters did things that didn’t always make sense. I was happy when they finally got together. This was a rare case where two passengers really did seem perfect for each other.

Finally, the third storyline featured Arthur Godfrey and Minnie Pearl as Ned and Molly, two seniors who were eloping. Looking to stop the marriage was Ned’s son, Francis (Warren Berlinger), and Molly’s daughter, Rowena (Elinor Donahue). Of course, Francis and Rowena fell in love and the episode ended with everyone planning to get married in a big double wedding. This story was pretty predictable and Berlinger and Donahue went a little bit overboard playing their characters as being uptight prudes in their first few scenes. But, still, at least everyone got a happy ending.

I liked this episode. The crew was likable, the passengers were charming, and everyone found love. Yay!