Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1983’s Night Partners!  It  can be viewed on Tubi.

Lauren Hensley (Diana Canova) is a divorced mother who has a nice house in Bakersfield, California.  Her best friends and neighbors are housewife Elizabeth McGuire (Yvette Mimieux) and Elizabeth’s husband, a cop named Glenn (Arlen Dean Snyder).  One night, after spending the day with the McGuires, Lauren returns to her home and is attacked by three burglars.

For Lauren, the crime is not even the worst part of the night.  The worst part is when the police don’t even seem to care that much about her suffering and instead take a “just-the-facts” approach to getting the details to what she’s been through.  Glenn attempts to explain to both Lauren and Elizabeth that cops see terrible things every day and, if they seem desensitized to it all, that’s just their way to handling the stress of the job.  Lauren, however, feels that the cops need a unit that provides the same support for victims that the criminals receive from their lawyers and social workers.

At a community meeting, Lauren proposes her idea to the police chief, John Wilson (Larry Linville).  When Wilson replies that there is no money in the budget, Lauren suggests that maybe the program could be staffed by volunteers.  She then proceeds to volunteer herself and Elizabeth.  Wilson agrees, but on the requirement that Lauren and Elizabeth first attend the police academy and train with the officers.  Under the watchful eye of the gruff but kindly Joe Kirby (M. Emmet Walsh), the two middle-aged housewives run obstacle courses and learn about conflict resolution.  And while the conflict resolution lessons make sense, I’m not sure what the point of having them do the obstacle course was.

Eventually, Lauren and Elizabeth become quite good at their jobs, providing comfort to the victims and getting information that helps the police put away criminals, like the serial rapist (a young M.C. Gainey) who has been stalking the streets of Bakersfield.  Of course, it takes them a while to get good at the job.  When Elizabeth and Lauren are first sent out on the streets, they can’t even keep the police codes straight and they accidentally call in a robbery code when they’re instead just letting the dispatcher know that they’re on break.  Bizarrely, when Lauren and Elizabeth are not at a crime scene talking to a victim, they’re just supposed to drive around in a beat-up patrol car.  Neither one of them has the power to arrest anyone because they’re just volunteers.  In fact, they’re supposed to stay out of the way until the police specifically call for them to come to a crime scene.  So, why are they patrolling the city like real cops?  It seems like that would basically be a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Night Partners was obviously designed to serve as a pilot for a series where Laruen and Elizabeth would comfort victims and help to solve crimes.  The two lead actresses are likable and M. Emmet Walsh is particularly effective as their supervisor.  That said, the film itself can’t decide if it wants to be a hard-hitting crime drama or a comedy about two housewives trying to make it as cops.  Of course, there’s no reason why it couldn’t be both.  Some of the best cops shows have had elements of dark, gallows humor.  But this film’s tone is so inconsistent that the comedic scenes seem to be taking place in an entirely different universe from the dramatic scenes.

As someone who strongly believes that the right of the victims need to be given as much weight as the rights of the criminals, I appreciated the film’s message.  I just wish it had been delivered a bit more effectively.