Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 11/26/23 — 12/2/23

Posted on December 2, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Bar Rescue (Paramount Plus)

On Tuesday, I watched an episode in which Jon Taffer went to a bar in San Antonio and yelled at the owner, who was basically spending all of her time drinking as opposed to actually running her business. The thing that amuses me about this show is how Taffer acts like running a bar is the most important calling in the world.

On Wednesday, I watched an episode in which Taffer went to a bar in Brooklyn and his camera crew was actually attacked by some unruly bar patrons. Agck! That was kind of scary. That said, I always enjoy the New York episodes of Bar Rescue because it’s fun to watch the rudest people in the world get yelled at by the rudest television host.

On Thursday, while it rained outside, I watched as Jon Taffer tried to save an ant-infested music venue. He got mad because the owner kept laughing awkwardly but I think the guy just had a nervous habit. I followed this up with an episode in which a drunk sports bar owner turned out to be so obnoxious that his entire staff quit on him and Taffer didn’t even invite him to the grand re-opening of his bar. (The owner still showed up, completely drunk.) It was actually kind of a sad episode. Taffer kept yelling at the guy for not smiling enough but some people just aren’t natural smilers.

Baywatch Nights (YouTube)

I wrote about Baywatch Nights here!

Check It Out! (Tubi)

My review of this week’s episode will drop in about 30 minutes.

CHiPS (Freevee)

I wrote about CHiPs here!

Degrassi Junior High (YouTube)

I wrote about Degrassi Junior High here!

Dr. Phil (YouTube)

On Saturday, I watched a really sad episode featuring this crazy woman who was harassing a mother who had lost one of her daughters to cyberbullying. The woman was incredibly unstable and never seemed to understand just how loathed she was by the audience. Seriously, the ability to go online on a whim has done terrible things to some minds.

On Monday, I watched a rare three-part episode in which Dr. Phil confronted a professional catfisher named Khalid. Khalid tried to be very charming when the interview began but, over the course of 90 minutes, he grew more and more hostile and defensive. It was interesting to watch, even if Khalid ultimately got away with his crimes.

On Tuesday, I watched an episode featuring a woman who was planning to leave her husband so that she could pursue Kip Moore. The audience was amused but I found the episode to be kind of depressing. Dr. Phil once again claimed that his son was a country music star, which I don’t think was actually true.

On Saturday, after watching a docuseries about the Love Has Won cult on HBO, I watched two episodes that Dr. Phil did about the group.

Fantasy Island (Daily Motion)

I wrote about Fantasy Island here!

Friday the 13th: The Series (YouTube)

I wrote about Friday the 13th here!

Highway to Heaven (Tubi)

I wrote about Highway to Heaven here!

Jennifer Slept Here (YouTube)

I wrote about Jennifer Slept Here …. here!

Kitchen Nightmares (Monday Night, Fox)

This week, Chef Ramsay went to a restaurant in South Brooklyn, where the two owners had an extremely toxic relationship. I enjoyed this episode because everyone involved was extremely Italian. I was happy when Rey walked out of the restaurant because I felt his behavior was abusive. I was less happy when Danny quit but I can understand his logic. He just wanted to do his job but instead, he kept getting dragged into everyone’s personal drama. I was really happy when Kelly learned how to run the business on her own but I was disappointed that she apparently took Rey back as her partner.

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about The Love Boat here!

Love Has Won: The Cult of Mother God (Saturday Afteroon, HBO2)

This creepy three-party documentary provided a look inside the Love Has Won cult and its leader, a former McDonalds manager who was believed to be God by her followers. She and her followers were addicted to filming themselves and the documentary was filled with footage of the group. It was easy to be dismissive of the members of the cult but almost all of them seemed to be damaged souls, people who dealt with their personal traumas by going down the rabbit hole of conspiracy-thinking and flakey spirituality.

Monsters (Tubi)

I wrote about Monsters here!

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Sunday morning. Mike and the bots watched the 1959 film, Santa Claus. I like Tom Servo because he’s an intellectual.

T and T (Tubi)

I wrote about T and T here!

Welcome Back Kotter (Tubi)

I wrote about Welcome Back Kotter here!

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 5/7/23 — 5/13/23

Posted on May 13, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Accused (Tuesday Night, FOX)

The season finale of Accused started out strong but, towards the end, it felt like propaganda for euthanasia. Plus, the big twist — i.e., the accused taking the blame for a crime that was actually committed by a loved one — was one that the show had already done before. It’s a bit early for this show to be repeating itself. That’s one reason why I think Accused would be well-served by having a regular set of writers and a regular set of directors as opposed to bringing in new people for each episode. That said, Keith Carradine gave a powerful performance as the man on trial. The first season of Accused was extremely uneven but hopefully, they’ll work out the kinks by the time the second season begins.

Barry (Sunday Night, HBO)

The rumors were true! There has indeed been a time jump and Barry and Sally are now living in the middle of nowhere and raising their son, John. Sally, who now wears a dark wig and works as a waitress, is miserable and, on Sunday’s show, nearly strangled a guy. Barry is oddly obsessed with Abraham Lincoln. Barry spends a lot of time with John and obviously considers himself to be a good father but, ultimately, Barry is just as manipulative towards his son as Monroe Fuches was towards him. When Sally came across a news story about Gene Cusineau coming out of hiding to consult on a Barry Berkman biopic, Barry replied, without hesitation, “I have to kill Gene Cusineau.” That’s where this week’s unsettling episode of Barry ended.

As I watched this week’s episode, it occurred to me that if someone ever did decide to do a new version of The Shining, Bill Hader would be an ideal Jack Torrance.

Beavis and Butt-Head (Paramount Plus)

Episodes that feature both the young and the old Beavis and Butt-Head are so depressing. It’s so easy to laugh at them when they’re young and they’re trying to plant cigarettes and destroying the community garden. But then you see what the future has waiting for them. Butt-Head’s a fat alcoholic and Beavis looks like he’s about 70 years old when he should just be in his 40s. It’s sad but it’s also funny. I do take some comfort in the fact that Beavis and Butt-Head always seem to be blissfully unaware of how terrible their lives truly are. Beavis never seems to give up hope.

Bubblegum Crisis (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Saturday morning but, to be honest, I was half asleep. All I know for sure is that a lot of stuff blew up.

Forgive or Forget (YouTube)

On Sunday, I sat through three episodes of this old 90s talk show on YouTube. A son demanded that his mother apologize for robbing him. (She didn’t.) A man told his fiancée that he was an exotic dancer just for her to then reveal that she was a stripper. (The audience went crazy.) A woman demanded that her friend apologize for “sleeping with my first love.” (“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the friend replied.) Mother Love said to never forget the power of forgiveness.

On Friday, I watched one more episode. A woman begged another woman to forgive her for backing out of an adoption arrangement. No one was forgiven. Mother Love started to cry.

Jury Duty (Freevee)

I absolutely loved this 8-hour, semi-improvised comedy about jury duty. Essentially, the series followed one guy as he took part in a very strange court case and got to know his fellow jurors (including James Marsden, who played a comedic version of himself). The catch was that everyone else in the court room was an actor and our hero was being filmed without even knowing it. It was wonderfully weird, funny, and ultimately rather sweet. It helped that the main guy, Ronald Gladden, came across as being incredibly likable and nice, even when James Marsden went out of his way to annoy him. Give Marsden an Emmy!

Law & Order (Thursday Night, NBC)

This was a pretty dumb episode this week. Cosgrove got shot by this week’s suspect after the suspect got out on bail. Because he was captured at the scene, everyone knew who shot Cosgrove but, at the trial, no one brought up the fact that the suspect had shot a cop and, unless I missed it, I don’t think he was ever charged with shooting Cosgrove either. Instead, Price was worried he wouldn’t be able to get a conviction on the crime that the guy was originally accused of and I was just like, “Uhmm, he shot a cop while trying to kill the state’s main witness against him. Isn’t that pretty good evidence that the cops were onto something when they arrested him?”

Cosgrove considered retiring and going to Florida but, at the end of the episode, it appeared that he was planning on staying in New York. I got the feeling that entire storyline was just included as some sort of “That that!” to Florida. But, honestly, Cosgrove is 50 years old and politically and culturally conservative. Why wouldn’t he want to move to Florida?

The Love Boat (Paramount Plus)

I wrote about this week’s episode here!

The Master (Tubi)

Since Freddy’s Nightmares is no longer available on Tubi, I decided to watch and review all 13 episodes of this 80s ninja show instead. You can read my review of episode 1 here!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Tubi)

Apparently, after the show went off the air, NBC edited the first two episodes of The Master together and they released the result theatrically under the name Master Ninja One. And then, years later, the guys at Mystery Science Theater 3000 watched Master Ninja One and spent a lot of time pointing out Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double. Anyway, I watched the Mystery Science Theater version on Thursday, after I finished writing up my review of The Master. It made me laugh!

Night Court (Tuesday Night, NBC)

The season came to an end much as I predicted it would. Abbi and Rand broke up. Dan went to Louisiana and became a judge but I imagine he’ll be back whenever season 2 starts because, if there was anything that was consistent about the first season, it’s that the action always grinds to a halt whenever John Larroquette isn’t onscreen.

Sally Jessy Raphael (YouTube)

I watched an episode on Monday night. Sally talked to parents who had out-of-control children. The kids were forced to take part in the Scared Straight program. Did it do any good? Probably not.

Survivor (Wednesday Night, CBS)

I wrote about this week’s episode over at Reality TV Chat Blog!

The Traitors (Peacock)

I binged this enjoyably silly reality show over the course of the week. Basically, a combination of newbies and reality TV vets moved into a Scottish castle and tried to figure out which of the three of them had been designated as “traitors” by host Alan Cumming. The traitors could “kill” a guest every night. (Well, not literally.) I was happy to see Survivor’s Cirie Fields do well and outlast Big Brother‘s Rachel Reilly. “I’m an icon!” Rachel exclaimed at one point. (Truth be told, I may complain about Rachel whenever she shows up on yet another reality show but she knows exactly what the audience wants from her and she plays her role well so good for her!)

Lisa Marie’s Week In Television: 12/18/22 — 12/24/18

Posted on December 24, 2022 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Merry Christmas! I spent the first part of this week shopping and I’m spending the second half of the week with my family. It’s literally freezing outside! Wheeee!

Anyway, here’s a few thoughts on what I watched this week:

The Brady Bunch (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Oh no! It’s Christmas and Carol is supposed to sing! But she’s losing her voice! Don’t worry, she gets it back.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (Apple TV+)

I watched this with my sisters on Friday night. It’s still a classic and it’s really not the Christmas season without it. Erin wrote about what this special means to her a few years ago. Read her thoughts!

Community (Netflix)

Poor Shirley. Her efforts to have a great Christmas were ruined by Jeff Winger’s need to fight a bully.

Degrassi (Tubi)

My sisters and I watched the season 3 “Holiday” episode on Friday. Actually, I kind of forced my sisters to watch it with me and, as we watched, I made sure they knew all about how Craig cheated on Ashley with Manny and how, long before that, Joey cheated on Caitlin with Tessa. I don’t know if they really cared but I had fun telling the story!

Full House (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Uncle Jesse went on tour in Japan, where he was inexplicably popular. But he realized that he missed his family so he went home. Michelle gave Jesse a hard time for trying to find success out of the house. This was followed by Jesse trying to become a radio DJ but losing the job to Joey. Things aren’t looking good for Uncle Jesse.

King of the Hill (Tubi)

After walking in on his mother and her new boyfriend, Hank is struck blind! Still, it’s Christmas and Hank is determined to hand out the gifts like he always does. Bobby gets a nightgown. “A nightgown,” he says, “I’ll wear this when I’m older.” That line always makes me laugh.

Leave It To Beaver (Sunday Afternoon, MeTV)

Beaver loses the money that his father gave him to get a haircut so he gives himself a haircut. Then he asks his brother, Wally, to help him fix his new haircut. Beaver ends with a mohawk but his parents realize that they’re partially to blame for being too hard on him. It was a sweet episode.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (Tubi)

Friday night, I watched the MST version of Santa Claus Conquers The Martians with Jeff and our friend Pat. Hooray for Santy Claus!

The Office (Peacock)

On Saturday morning, I watched my two favorite Christmas episodes of The Office. First, I watched as Michael destroyed Secret Santa by turning it into Yankee Swap. (“How is this better than an iPod!?”) Secondly, I watched the 3rd season episode in which Michael, Andy, and Dwight went to Benihana. I always enjoy the episodes where Andy’s evil more than the episodes where Andy is so needy for approval that it’s difficult to take. I know that one of the actresses who played a Benihana waitress has subsequently spent a lot of time condemning the episode and trying to get the outrage machine going. There’s really nothing more Twitter than signaling that you appeared in a classic TV show while, at the same time, trying to cancel it. Anyway, for the first four or five seasons, every Office Christmas episode was a classic. Secret Santa, especially, is brilliant.

Saved By The Bell (DVD)

On Saturday morning, Megan and I watched an episode in which Zack and the gang met a homeless girl and her father at the mall. Because it was Christmas, the girl and her father moved in with Zack and his mom. The girl and her father were never mentioned again.

Pod People (a.k.a. Extra Terrestrial Visitor) (1983, directed by Juan Piquer Simon)

Posted on October 8, 2021 by Jedadiah Leland

“Trumpy, you can do stupid things!”

Everyone knows about Trumpy, the snorkel-nosed alien with telekinetic powers who befriend a lonely boy and a really bad band while his mother killed people in the forest. He was one of the stars of Pod People, which was famously lampooned by Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 1991. It became one of MST 3K’s most beloved episodes. Audiences loved the the attempts to by Joel and the Bots the decipher the song that the band is first seen performing. Was it Idiot Control Now or Tires Are Ready To Roll Now? They also loved Trumpy showing off his cool but ultimately useless powers. But why was Trumpy so good but Trumpy’s mom was so evil?

The reason is because Trumpy wasn’t originally supposed to be in the movie. Originally, the movie was just going to be about Trumpy’s mom killing poachers and stalking the band when their van broke down in the woods. But then a little movie called E.T. became a worldwide hit and the film’s backers decided that the movie needed a cute alien. Director Juan Piquer Simon, best known for the relentless gore fest that was Pieces, created Trumpy and had him befriend a child. The film became the only killer alien film made for a family audience. Families came for the cuteness of Trumpy and stayed for the scenes of Trumpy’s mom stalking a woman while she took a shower.

Weird, weird film. Have you ever tried to watch Pod People without Joel and the Bots to help you make you way through it? It’s not recommended but it can be done. A non-MST 3K version has been released on DVD under the film’s original title (Extra Terrestrial Visitor) but the movie is really boring without anyone making jokes. You can make your own jokes, I guess. You probably will.

No, Pod People is a film to watch with the Satellite of Love crew. With them, it’s a classic.

Rock and Roll Creation: Zombie Nightmare (1986, directed by Jack Bravman)

Posted on October 6, 2018 by Jedadiah Leland

When muscle-bound teen baseball player Tony (Jon-Mikl Thor) does a good deed by stopping a grocery store robbery, he’s rewarded by getting run down by a bunch of stupid teenage joyriders. Luckily, there’s a voodoo priestess in the neighborhood and, while she can’t revive Tony permanently, she can bring him back as a zombie so he can kill those who killed him. Soon, Zombie Tony is killing all of the teens (including Tia Carrere) and Detective Tom Churchman (Adam West) is on the case. Detective Churchman, however, has a previous connection to both the voodoo priestess and the murder of Tony’s father.

Zombie Nightmare is best known for later being shown on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It was one of the best episodes of MST 3K but Zombie Nightmare is just as great even without commentary from Mike and the Bots. This film features Jon-Mikl Thor, Adam West, Tia Carrere, zombies, and a heavy metal soundtrack that features Girlschool, Virgin Steel, Thor, and Motorhead! What more do you need? Jon-Mikl Thor is actually really convincing as the zombie and it’s always interesting to see Adam West play a role straight. West even gets to be the bad guy here, and he does it without winking at the camera once.

Jon-Mikl Thor followed up Zombie Nightmare with the even better Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare. He was also the subject of a recent and revealing documentary, I Am Thor, which should be required viewing for anyone who thinks they want to be a star.

Netflix Review: Mystery Science Theater 3000 11.1 “Reptilicus”

Posted on April 15, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

I grew up loving Mystery Science Theater 3000. Since my favorite was always Tom Servo, it never mattered to me whether Joel or Mike was the host. Even after the show went off the air, it was always nice to know that I could say, “How much Keeffe is in this movie?” and at least one person would know that the correct answer would always be “Miles O’Keeffe.”

When I first heard about the Kickstarter campaign to bring back Mystery Science Theater 3000, I was worried. As someone who owns all of the Rhino DVDs, along with The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Colossal Episode Guide and several VHS copies of the original broadcasts on both Comedy Central and SyFy, I was happy to see that there was still life in the show. At the same time, I was worried that a possibly inferior reboot might ruin some of my favorite childhood memories.

I just finished watching the first episode of the Netflix MST3K and there is no need for alarm or concern. My childhood will survive. While it wasn’t perfect, it was still more than good enough. It may not have ranked up with the classic episodes of MST3K but it’s at least as good as the one where Pearl forced Mike and the Bots to watch the Russian version of Hamlet.

Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt were great as the new Mads. I appreciated the return of the invention exchange and that the show still had the same deliberately cheap look that we all know and love from the original. With Tom Servo, Crow, and Gypsy all being voiced by new actors, it’s going to take a while to get used to the new crew on the Satellite of Love but, by the end of the episode, both Hampton Yount and Baron Vaughn had settled into their roles of Tom and Crow. Considering that it was his first episode and that it is still strange to see someone other than Joel or Mike hanging out with the bots, Jonah Ray did a commendable job as the new host, bringing a laid back vibe to the role that was very reminiscent of the Joel years. (That’s not surprising, considering that the revival is largely Joel’s baby.) Tom being able to fly and Gypsy now being suspended from the ceiling are things that sound like they should not have worked but they did. My one real complaint is that, without the Netflix captioning, it is often difficult to tell the difference between Jonah’s voice and Tom’s.

The movie was Reptilicus. As a badly dubbed Danish monster movie, it was the perfect “experiment” with which to start off the new MST3K. Everyone, even Gypsy, got a few good jokes in at the film’s expense. Among my favorites:

“Something is rotten in the state of Denmark and it’s this movie.” — Crow

“Now, you’re Mr. Filing Cabinet.” — Gypsy, after one of the film’s scientists placed his hat on a filing cabinet.

“The Danish Army, cheaper than extras and less busy.” — Tom

“Reptilicus Returns in Reptilicus 2: 2 Fast 2 Danish.” — Jonah

The show’s best joke came during a host segment, when Crow and Tom asked Jonah to explain how every country has a monster “preferably in rap.” The chorus of “Every country has a monster/They’re afraid of in their nation/Every monster has a country/Yeah, a station they call home” stayed with me long after the song ended.

Finally, I was happy to see the return of viewer mail segment. It is nice to know that, in 2017, eight year-olds are still drawing pictures of Tom and Crow on the Satellite of Love.

If you are like me and you were worried that a new Mystery Science 3000 would destroy your childhood, don’t worry. MST3K is back and, so far, it’s pretty good.