Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.3 “No Man’s Land”

Posted on January 21, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

It’s time for another trip to the beach!

Episode 1.3 “No Man’s Land”

(Dir by Michael Levine and John Bush, originally aired on March 16th, 1996)

Uh-oh! There’s Nazis on the beach.

We know that Carl (Ryan Alosio) is a Nazi because he owns a bar that is decorated, on the outside, with a swastika. Then, on the inside, there are many more swastikas and a German flag and a picture of Adolf Hitler hanging on the wall. My question is who sold the bar to Carl and how exactly is he not violating any zoning laws? Throughout the show, we’re constantly told that Carl can do whatever he wants on his property but don’t most towns have rules about what you can and cannot display in a business district? We’re told that Carl has a criminal record and his arms are covered in Nazi tattoos so, once again, I have to wonder who sold him the bar. There are a lot regulations and paperwork involved in opening up your own small business. That’s especially true if your business is going to be selling alcohol. I guess my point is that I just have a hard time believing that Carl’s Nazi bar would be allowed to stay open on the boardwalk.

Bizarrely, ordinary non-Nazis keep entering Carl’s Nazi bar. Wouldn’t the swastika turn most people away? I’m just saying that personally, I would not go in a building that was decorated with a swastika. Anytime anyone who is not a Nazi goes in Carl’s bar, Carl beats them up. You really have to wonder how Carl is managing to stay in business. I mean, let’s just accept that there’s enough Nazis in Santa Monica for Carl to have a steady customer base. Carl is still asking those people to step into a building that is decorated with a swastika and basically announce their opinions to the world. I would think at least some of the Santa Monica Nazis would be like, “No, I’d rather keep it a secret and go drink at a politically neutral bar.” I mean, this isn’t some isolated club, like the place in Green Room. This bar is sitting right in the middle of the boardwalk, where hundreds of people walk by each day. Apparently, Santa Monica Nazis have no fear of being outed.

Like all Nazis, Carl is a jerk. He beats up a vendor for selling churros in front of his bar. He also harasses all of the non-white surfers. You would think that this episode’s hero would be Officer Del Toro but instead, it falls to the very white T.C. Callaway to stand up to Carl and eventually drag him off to jail. Callaway explains that he hates bullies. That’s fine but it’s still more emotionally satisfying to watch a bully get beaten up by the bullied as opposed to by a concerned bystander.

We also get B-plot about a young graffiti artist named Melo (Christopher Babers) and Cory’s attempt to get Melo to see the error of his ways and instead use his artistic talent for something good. And Mayor Mickey Dolenz spends the episode panicking because there’s an election to coming up to determine whether or not to allow on the nudity on the beach. It’s pretty dumb but it’s hard not to smile at Mickey Dolenz playing himself.

The main problem with this episode and the show as a while is that the cops look silly riding around on their bikes. When Cory and Victor head down a flight of stairs to catch Melo tagging a tunnel, they have to pick up and carry their bikes with them and it was hard not to laugh. Whenever someone says, “This is Bike 1 responding,” to a crime call, I just imagine a dispatcher grimacing and thinking, I was hoping for a real cop. Watching CHiPs and then this episode made me appreciate how much better motorcycles are than bicycles.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 1.1 “Pilot”

Posted on January 7, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last month, we finished up Baywatch Nights. For our next show, we have Pacific Blue, which was often described as being Baywatch On Bikes. Before watching the episode reviewed below, I had only seen one previous episosde of Pacific Blue. I was in Rome and the episode was dubbed into Italian.

As I sit here typing this, it is currently 32 degrees and windy outside. On Thursday, we’re supposed to get hit with ice and snow. Fortunately, on Pacific Blue, it’s forever summer! Let’s dive right in with the first episode!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Ralph Hemecker, originally aired on March 2nd, 1996)

Welcome to Santa Monica in the 90s!

The skies are sunny, the ocean is blue, everyone’s wearing a bikini or a swimsuit, and the cops are on bikes!

The pilot for Pacific Blue opens with Officers Victor Del Toro (Marcos A. Ferraez) and Cory McNamara (Paula Trickey) riding their bikes down the boardwalk and talking about how criminals and even citizens often don’t pay them enough respect because they’re on bicycles. And, to be honest, they do look pretty silly riding their bicycles with their grim “I am the Law” facial expressions. Judge Dredd would never be caught dead on a bicycle.

When Victor and Cory catch a couple of graffiti-spraying vandals, they get to show off what they can do with their bicycles. “They can run but we can fly,” Victor says as he takes off after the fleeing vandals. And …. no, sorry. The bikes still look dorky. I don’t care how many bad guys the bike cops capture. The dark shorts and the crisp white t-shirts and the Schwinn bicycles, none of it is intimidating.

Chris Kelly (Darlene Vogel) was once a hotshot Navy pilot until her eyesight dipped below 20/20 and she was discharged. (You have to have 20/20 eyesight to fly a plane? Well, I’ll add that to my list of things that I will never be allowed to do!) Chris joined the Santa Monica police force and found herself assigned to tell kids not to go off with strangers while wearing a milk carton costume. After Chris catches some drug dealers (again, while dressed up like a milk carton), she is transferred out of public relations and over to …. BIKE PATROL!

Her new boss, Tony Palermo (Rick Rossovich), explains that Chris will require three days of bicycle training before she’s officially a member of Bike Patrol. In one montage, Chris learns how to ride a bike like a …. well, I would say like a “badass,” except for the fact that she’s on a dorky Schwinn. She is then partnered up with TC Callaway (Jim Davidson), who orders her to lose the attitude when it comes to riding her bike. No one is too good for bike patrol!

TC’s girlfriend, Sandy (Cindy Ambuehl), thinks TC should get a job working for his wealthy father. TC’s younger brother agrees. But TC loves the beach. He loves chasing criminals. He loves riding his bike! TC was born to work with ocean in the distance and sand getting stuck in the spokes of his bike,

Speaking of criminals, someone has stolen Mayor Mickey Dolenz’s car. (Mickey Dolenz appears as himself.) The Bike Patrol takes down a bunch of car thieves and closes down their chop shop. It’s a standard cop show plot but keep in mind that this is just the first episode. The purpose of a first episode is to introduce all the characters and explain the premise of the show. And that’s what this pilot did so technically, this episode has to be considered a success.

The only problem — and I have a feeling that I’ll be coming back to this point frequently over the next two years or so — is that the Bike Patrol looks incredibly dorky. Pacific Blue was obviously meant to capitalize on the success of Baywatch but the thing with Baywatch is that, as incredibly dumb as that show could be, the slow motion running looked cool. The members of the Bike Patrol riding their bikes up and down the beach just look silly.

That said, the beach scenery was nice to look at and this show does seem like it might have the potential to be fun in a so-bad-it’s-good sort of way. So, we’ll see what happens. By the end of this month, I’ll either be happy that I picked this show to review or I’ll be cursing my terrible judgment. We’ll find out soon enough.

Rockin’ in the Film World #12: The Monkees in HEAD (Columbia 1968)

Posted on September 16, 2017 by gary loggins

cracked rear viewer

The Monkees (Davy Jones, Mickey Dolenz, Peter Tork, and Mike Nesmith) brought rock’n’roll to TV with their mega-successful 1966-68 musical sitcom. Inspired by The Beatles’ onscreen antics in A HARD DAY’S NIGHT and HELP!, producers Bob Rafelson and Bert Schneider cast four fresh-faced youths (Jones was a Tony nominee for OLIVER!, Dolenz had starred in TV’s CIRCUS BOY, Tork and Nesmith were vets of the folk-rock scene), hired some of the era’s top songwriters (Gerry Goffin & Carole King, Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart, Neil Diamond, Harry Nilsson) and session musicians (Hal Blaine, James Burton, Glen Campbell , Carol Kaye), and Monkeemania became a full-fledged teenybop pop phenomenon.

Detractors (and there were many) in the music biz called them ‘The Pre-Fab Four’, looking down their noses at The Monkees while looking up as hits like “I’m a Believer”, “Daydream Believer”, and “Pleasant Valley Sunday” climbed to the top of the…

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What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Head (dir. by Bob Rafelson)

Posted on June 29, 2012 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, I turned over to TCM and I watched the 1968 film Head.

Why Was I Watching It?

Though Head was a notorious box office bomb when it was released in 1968, it has since become notorious as one of the most incomprehensible movies ever made. Every book that I’ve ever read about film or pop culture in the 1960s makes mention of Head. Not only was the film written by a pre-Easy Rider Jack Nicholson, but the film also featured The Monkees literally acting out against their stardom by committing career suicide by appearing the film that was apparently conceived while Nicholson and director Bob Rafelson were tripping on LSD. I’ve read about Head in dozens of books and I’ve seen it described as being “a surreal masterpieces,” “an incomprehensible, pretentious mess,” and “a total head trip of a film.” Having now seen the film, I can say that’s all true.

I do have to admit that before I saw Head, I didn’t know who the Monkees were. Don’t get me wrong — I knew that there was a band in the 60s called The Monkees and I knew that they had their own TV show. Thanks to the fact that The Brady Bunch Movie played on cable for like two months straight earlier this year, I knew which one was Davey Jones. But, that was about it. Even after seeing Head, I’m still not really sure I could tell you which was one was Mickey Dolenz and which one was Peter Tork. I also have to admit that I spent the first half of the film referring to Michael Nesmith as the “Texan with the sideburns.”

Fortunately, I watched Head with two wonderful groups of people on twitter — the TCM Party and the Drive-In Mob. They came together last night and provided a very entertaining live tweet session devoted to the film. Unlike me, they actually knew one Monkee from another and following their tweets helped me survive the film’s rough first half. To all of them, I say “Thank you for the education.”

What’s It About?

That’s not an easy question to answer but I’ll try.

The Monkees jump off a bridge and plunge into the psychedelic waters below but they’re saved from drowning by a bunch of mermaids. This, of course, leads to the four members of the groups finding themselves in scenes from a war film, a boxing film, a western film, and eventually they discover that they’re actually dandruff on the head of actor Victor Mature. Ultimately, they end up wandering around on a studio backlot where they’re menaced by veteran scary actor Timothy Carey and an ominous black box that seems to intent on trapping them. The Monkees react to this by running for their lives, complaining to Jack Nicholson and Bob Rafelson about the script, and telling everyone that they meet that they’re just actors in a film. Eventually, it appears that the Monkees don’t have any options left beyond committing public suicide but Rafelson has other ideas…

What Worked?

If you’re as obsessed with pop cultural history as I am, Head is one of those films that simply you have to see. Even if you find the film to be totally incomprehensible and just a tad bit pretentious, Head is a valuable artifact of its time. Head is a film that could have only been made in the late 60s and it epitomizes everything about the age that produced it. It’s like a cinematic Pompeii.

Now, I have to admit that most of the enjoyment I got out of the first half of the film came more from my own curiosity as a secret history nerd than from the film itself. However, the second half of the film is often times genuinely entertaining. The satire is a bit sharper and the overall theme (i.e., the struggle to maintain your own unique individuality in a world that demands conformity) starts emerge from the film’s mix of surreal images.

For me, the film really picked up with Davy Jones’ performance of Daddy’s Song:

The woman dancing with Davy Jones was Toni Basil, who choreographed all the dance numbers in this film.

Here’s another sequence that I particularly enjoyed. This came towards the end of the film and, as I said on twitter, who doesn’t enjoy a little psychedelic dancing?

What Did Not Work?

While Head had all the virtues of its time, it also had all the flaws. It’s a definite hit-and-miss affair, with the stronger (and occasionally insightful) moments uneasily balanced with plenty of sequences that dragged. As you may have guessed, Head is the type of film that’s brilliant if you’re in the mood for it but it’s rather annoying if you’re not.

“Oh my God! Just like me!” Moments

I would have loved to have been Toni Basil, dancing with Davy Jones in the Daddy’s Song number.

Lessons Learned

Watching Head, I realized that I had discovered this year’s perfect Christmas present. I’m going to get a 100 copies of Head on DVD and give them out to everyone I know. That way, I’ll have an excuse to call everyone up in November and tell them, “Don’t worry, I’m giving you Head for Christmas.” I think, if nothing else, that’ll make me a very popular girl come December.