Melanie Miller | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!

This week, Johnny screws up, making the type of mistake that Ryan never would have!

Episode 3.7 “Hate On Your Dial”

(Dir by Allan Eastman, originally aired on November 6th, 1989)

This week’s cursed antique is an old car radio from 1954. Smear it with the blood of someone who has just died and the car will transport you back to …. 1954. That seems like an oddly specific curse and a kind of pointless one. What if the car radio ends up in the possession of someone who doesn’t care about 1954?

(And, to make clear, Jack does specifically state that the curse involves going back to 1954.)

The car radio does end up in the possession of Ray Pierce (Michael Rhoades), a racist auto mechanic who uses the car to go back to 1954 so that he can hang out with his father in Mississippi. His father (Martin Doyle) is a member of the Klan, along with his friend, Joe (played, in an early performance, by Henry Czerny). The 1954 scenes are filmed in black-and-white. When the show travels back 1954, the first thing we see is an “I Like Ike” billboard, featuring Dwight Eisenhower and a Confederate flag. Obviously, someone in the show’s Canadian writer’s room didn’t know who supported segregation in 50s and who didn’t. There was a political party wrapping itself in the Confederate flag in 1950s Mississippi but it wasn’t the Republicans and their candidate wasn’t Dwight Eisenhower.

This episode features Johnny making another one of his trademark mistakes, this time selling the cursed radio to Ray’s “slow” brother, Archie (played by Cronenberg regular Robert A. Silverman). Only after Johnny sells it does he realize it was probably cursed. Micki yells at him for not checking the manifest before selling it. Then Jack yells at him too. Jack remains angry with him for nearly the entire episode. It’s understandable that Jack would be upset but then again, maybe they shouldn’t have left inexperienced Johnny alone in the shop in the first place. Maybe they shouldn’t even be selling antiques at all. That would definitely solve the problem.

Anyway, this episode featured some of the worst Southern accents that I’ve ever heard and it also featured a cursed objects that didn’t make much sense. Johnny learned an important lesson about being careful about selling things and I guess that’s a good thing. That said, Ryan never would have made that mistake!

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, a documentary crew proclaims T.S. Turner to be the West’s greatest crime fighter.

Episode 3.16 “TV Turner”

(Dir by Patrick Loubert, originally aired on April 21st, 1990)

A Japanese television crew shows up at the Canadian police station and tells Detective Hargrove that they asked a computer for the name of the greatest crime fighter in North America. The computer replied with “T.S. Turner,” so they have traveled to Canada to interview Turner. The only catch is that they have no idea where Turner is and they don’t know anything about him.

Meanwhile, Turner is preparing to leave for his interview with the Japanese documentary team when …. wait a minute, I thought they didn’t know where to find Turner. I thought they hadn’t even called Turner before arriving in Canada. So, why is Turner getting ready to leave for his interview? This is a confusing episode.

Anyway, an old friend of Turner’s asks him to help her track down her missing husband, who lost his job after he was framed for a theft at work. Turner blows off the interview to search for him. This means that the film crew instead interviews Hargrove and then Terri about Turner. The film crew is disappointed to learn that Turner does not drink and he’s not a womanizer. A random criminal (Phillip Jarrett) gives an interview about the time he was arrested by Turner but it turns out that he’s thinking of a different Turner.

Finally, Turner shows up at the station. However, before he can do the interview, Terri’s latest client (Angelo RIzacos) grabs a gun and threatens to shoot his way to freedom. By an amazing coincidence, it turns out that the client is also the missing husband! Turner convinces the man to put down the gun by explaining that everyone now knows that he was framed for the theft.

(That said, the guy is still looking at serious jail time. He threatened to shoot up a police station!)

The film crew decides not to interview Turner because he’s not exciting enough. The end.

Weird episode. I was expecting it to be a clip show but instead, it was just people talking about how Turner didn’t drink, have sex, or fight any supervillains. I guess the idea was to show that Turner was a good man and that’s what made him a hero. That’s a nice message but it also leads to Turner losing his chance to be the subject of a documentary. Turner’s just too good for the world, I guess.

Let’s give some credit where credit is due. After sleepwalking through most of season 3, Mr. T actually seemed to be invested in this episode and the scene where he talked the guy into putting down his gun was very nicely done and acted. As an actor, Mr. T had zero range but he could be likably earnest and that’s certainly the case here.

Anyway, this was an odd episode, even by T and T standards. There’s only five more to go!