Music Video of the Day: 2 Legit 2 Quit (1991, directed by Rupert Wainwright)


Do you want to watch one of the most expensive music videos ever made?

Even more importantly, do you have 15 minutes to watch MC Hammer?

The idea behind this video is that MC Hammer is thinking about quitting the business but James Brown wants him to steal Michael Jackson’s glove.  Before we even get to Hammer, we sit through James Belushi as a newscaster and cameos from several 1991 celebrities.  Danny Glover, Henry Winkler, Freedom Williams, David Faustino, Barry Sobel, Ralph Tresvant, Mark and Donnie Wahlberg, Eazy-E, DJ Quik, 2nd II None, Tony Danza, Queen Latifah and Milli Vanilli all appear in this video, as do several athletes: José Canseco, Isiah Thomas, Kirby Puckett, Jerry Rice, Rickey Henderson, Deion Sanders, Andre Rison, Wayne Gretzky, Chris Mullin, Roger Clemens, Roger Craig, Ronnie Lott, Lynette Woodard, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, David Robinson, and former Atlanta Falcons coach Jerry Glanville.  Obviously, with David Faustino and Tony Danza standing behind him, there was no way MC Hammer could quit.

This video was named the fifth worst music video of all time by MAX Music.  That was only with hindsight, though.  A shortened version was a hit on MTV and, in 1991, the Atlanta Falcons dubbed themselves the 2 Legit 2 Quite Falcons.  (They went 10-6 that season.)

Director Rupert Wainwright also did the video for U Can’t Touch This.

Enjoy!

Guilty Pleasure No. 84: Last Action Hero (dir by John McTiernan)


Oh, Last Action Hero.

Ever since this film was first released in 1993, it’s usually held up as an example of a Hollywood fiasco.  The script was originally written to be a modest satire of action films.  The screenwriters wrote the character of Jack Slater, an movie action hero who comes into the real world, for Dolph Lundgren.  Instead, the film became an Arnold Schwarzenegger extravaganza and the studio ended up tossing a ton of money at it.  When the film was originally released, the reviews were mixed and the box office was considered to be disappointing.  (That it went up against the first Jurassic Park was definitely an underrated issue when it came to the box office.)  Ever since then, The Last Action Hero has had a reputation for being a bad film.

Well, I don’t care.  I like The Last Action Hero.  Yes, it’s a bit overproduced for a comedy.  (It breaks my own rule about how no comedy should run longer than two hours.)  Yes, it gets a bit sentimental with ten year-old Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) using a magic, golden ticket to enter the film world of his hero, Jack Slater.  If you want to argue that the film should have devoted more time to and gone a bit deeper into contrasting the film world with the real world, I won’t disagree with you.  But I will also say that Sylvester Stallone starring as The Terminator in Jack’s world was actually a pretty funny sight gag.  Danny knowing better than to trust a character played by F. Murray Abraham made me laugh.  Danny’s fantasy in which Arnold Schwarzenegger played Hamlet was made all the better by the fact that his teacher was played by Laurence Olivier’s wife, Joan Plowright.   Danny DeVito as Whiskers the Cartoon Cat makes me laugh as well, even if it is perhaps a bit too bizarre of a joke for this particular film.  (There’s nothing else about the Jack Slater films that would explain the presence of a cartoon cat.)

When you set aside the idea of the Last Action Hero being a symbol of Hollywood bloat and just watch it as a film, it emerges as an enjoyably goofy action movie, one that captures the joy of watching movies (because who hasn’t wanted to enter a movie’s world at some point in their life), and also one that features a rather charming performance from Arnold Schwarzenegger.  (Schwarzenegger, I should add, plays both himself and Jack Slater.  One of my favorite jokes is when the real Schwarzenegger is at a premiere and he mistakes the evil Ripper for Tom Noonan, the actor who played him in the previous Jack Slater film.)  Yeah, the golden ticket is a little bit hokey but who cares?  Underneath all of the special effects and action and money spent on star salaries, Last Action Hero is an action movie and comedy with a heart.  Danny meets his hero but also gets to become a hero himself.  And Jack Slater turns out to be everything you would hope your movie hero would be.  In the end, it’s obvious that a lot of the criticism of this film has more to do with the appeal of riding the bandwagon as opposed to what actually happens on screen.

Last Action Hero is a movie that I’ll happily defend.

Previous Guilty Pleasures

  1. Half-Baked
  2. Save The Last Dance
  3. Every Rose Has Its Thorns
  4. The Jeremy Kyle Show
  5. Invasion USA
  6. The Golden Child
  7. Final Destination 2
  8. Paparazzi
  9. The Principal
  10. The Substitute
  11. Terror In The Family
  12. Pandorum
  13. Lambada
  14. Fear
  15. Cocktail
  16. Keep Off The Grass
  17. Girls, Girls, Girls
  18. Class
  19. Tart
  20. King Kong vs. Godzilla
  21. Hawk the Slayer
  22. Battle Beyond the Stars
  23. Meridian
  24. Walk of Shame
  25. From Justin To Kelly
  26. Project Greenlight
  27. Sex Decoy: Love Stings
  28. Swimfan
  29. On the Line
  30. Wolfen
  31. Hail Caesar!
  32. It’s So Cold In The D
  33. In the Mix
  34. Healed By Grace
  35. Valley of the Dolls
  36. The Legend of Billie Jean
  37. Death Wish
  38. Shipping Wars
  39. Ghost Whisperer
  40. Parking Wars
  41. The Dead Are After Me
  42. Harper’s Island
  43. The Resurrection of Gavin Stone
  44. Paranormal State
  45. Utopia
  46. Bar Rescue
  47. The Powers of Matthew Star
  48. Spiker
  49. Heavenly Bodies
  50. Maid in Manhattan
  51. Rage and Honor
  52. Saved By The Bell 3. 21 “No Hope With Dope”
  53. Happy Gilmore
  54. Solarbabies
  55. The Dawn of Correction
  56. Once You Understand
  57. The Voyeurs 
  58. Robot Jox
  59. Teen Wolf
  60. The Running Man
  61. Double Dragon
  62. Backtrack
  63. Julie and Jack
  64. Karate Warrior
  65. Invaders From Mars
  66. Cloverfield
  67. Aerobicide 
  68. Blood Harvest
  69. Shocking Dark
  70. Face The Truth
  71. Submerged
  72. The Canyons
  73. Days of Thunder
  74. Van Helsing
  75. The Night Comes for Us
  76. Code of Silence
  77. Captain Ron
  78. Armageddon
  79. Kate’s Secret
  80. Point Break
  81. The Replacements
  82. The Shadow
  83. Meteor

Music Video of the Day: Addams Groove by MC Hammer (1991, directed by Rupert Wainwright)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqQwzgixHAM

As far as videos about Christina Ricci chopping off MC Hammer’s head are concerned, this is probably the best.

Addams Groove was the theme song for 1991’s The Addams Family.  The video opens with MC Hammer losing his head but it turns out that not even decapitation can silence Hammer.  Hammer eventually ends up fighting with Raul Julia over Anjelica Huston, proving that anything was possible in the 90s.  It’s easy to laugh at a video like this today but, back in 1991, videos like this were a big deal and it was a rare for any film to be released with an accompanying music video.  This song was MC Hammer’s last top ten hit in the United States.  It also received a Razzie nomination for Worst Song of the Year.

Though the film was the directorial debut of Barry Sonnenfeld, this video was directed by Rupert Wainwright, who was responsible for directing most of MC Hammer’s videos.  He also did the video for N.W.A’s Straight Outta Compton.  Wainwright would eventually go on to direct Stigmata and the remake of The Fog.

Enjoy!

One Tough Bastard (1996, directed by Kurt Wimmer)


When the wife and the daughter of John North (Brian “The Boz” Bosworth) are gunned down by a mysterious gunman (Jeff Kober), North refuses to accept that they were just the victims of a robbery gone wrong.  Working with a tough street kid (DeJuan Guy) who needs a mentor to show him that violence is not the solution to all of the world’s problem, North sets out to discover the truth and get revenge in the most violent ways possible.  What North discovers is that the gunman who killed his family works for a corrupt FBI agent named Karl Slavak (Bruce Payne) and that Slavak is selling guns to a drug lord named Dexter Kane (played by … wait for it … MC HAMMER!)

You would think that any movie featuring M.C. Hammer as a drug lord would be worth seeing but the man who brainwashed a generation into making “U Can’t Touch This” jokes is actually pretty forgettable as Dexter.  This movie was made when Hammer had dropped the M.C. from his name and he was trying to reinvent himself as a harder-edged rapper.  That reinvention didn’t work because there’s absolutely nothing edgy about M.C. Hammer (much like Will Smith, he was the rapper whose music wouldn’t cause your parents to have an aneurysm) and One Tough Bastard proves it.

Instead, One Tough Bastard is worth seeing because of the epic meeting between two action stars who epitomized everything great about straight-to-video movies in the 90s, Brian Bosworth and Bruce Payne!  The Boz may have been a bust as a football player but he was a good action star, delivering one-liners and viscous beat downs with aplomb and, unlike some action stars (*cough* Seagal *cough*), he could play the dramatic scenes without embarrassing himself.  With his long hair and his nosering, Bruce Payne may be an unlikely FBI agent but he’s a great villain and he has no fear of shouting almost all of his dialogue.  Add in Jeff Kober and you’ve got a dumb but fun movie that’s enlivened by three actors who know how to be convincingly tough on camera.

One Tough Bastard lives up to the promise of its title.

Cleaning Out The DVR Yet Again #16: Zoolander 2 (dir by Ben Stiller)


(Lisa recently discovered that she only has about 8 hours of space left on her DVR!  It turns out that she’s been recording movies from July and she just hasn’t gotten around to watching and reviewing them yet.  So, once again, Lisa is cleaning out her DVR!  She is going to try to watch and review 52 movies by Wednesday, November 30th!  Will she make it?  Keep checking the site to find out!)

zoolander_2_poster

On October 14th, I recorded Zoolander 2 off of Epix.

A sequel to the 2001 cult hit, Zoolander 2 came out earlier this year and got absolutely terrible reviews and quickly vanished from theaters.  Watching the film last night, I could understand why it got such terrible reviews.  Zoolander 2 is not only a terrible movie but it’s also a rather bland one.  Somehow, the blandness is even more offensive than the badness.

Zoolander 2 opens with Justin Bieber getting assassinated and Derek Zoolander (Ben Stiller) being forced to come out of retirement and discover why pop stars are being targeted.  And, of course, Zoolander can’t do it without the help of Hansel (Owen Wilson)!  Penelope Cruz is in the film as well, playing  Zoolander’s handler and essentially being wasted in a role that could have been played by anyone.

Oh!  And Will Ferrell returns as well.  Ferrell gives a performance that essentially shouts out to the world, “Fuck you, I’m Will Ferrell and no one is going to tell Will Ferrell to tone his shit down!”

Actually, I think everyone in the world is in Zoolander 2.  This is one of those films that is full of cameos from people who probably thought a silly comedy would be good for their image.  For instance, there’s a huge number of journalists who show up playing themselves.  Matt Lauer shows up and I get the feeling that we’re supposed to be happy about that.  There was a reason why people cheered when the sharks ate him in Sharknado 3.

You know who else shows up as himself?  Billy Zane!  And Billy Zane has exactly the right type of attitude for a film like this.  He shows up and he mocks the whole enterprise by giving the Billy Zaniest performance of Billy Zane’s career.  For that matter, Kiefer Sutherland also shows up as himself.  I’m not really sure what Kiefer was doing in the film but he makes sure to deliver all of his lines in that sexy growl of his.  Kiefer knows what we want to hear.

You may notice that I’m not talking about the plot of Zoolander 2.  That’s largely because I couldn’t follow the plot.  This is an incredibly complicated film but it’s not complicated in a funny way.  Instead, it’s complicated in a way that suggests that the film was made up on the spot.  It’s as if the cast said, “We’re all funny!  Just turn on the camera and we’ll make it work!”

The problem with Zoolander 2 is obvious.  The first film pretty much exhausted the comic possibilities of making a spy film about shallow and stupid models.  Don’t get me wrong — the first film did a good job but it’s not like it left any material untapped.  But I would ask you to indulge me as I imagine an alternate reality.

Consider this: Terrence Malick was reportedly a huge fun of Zoolander.

Let’s take just a minute to imagine a world in which Ben Stiller asked Terrence Malick to write and direct Zoolander 2.  And let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that Malick agreed!

Just think about it — 4 hours of Zoolander and Hansel staring up at the sky and thinking about nature.  “What is this thing that causes the heart of man to beat?” Zoolander asks.  “Are we nature or has nature become us?” Hansel replies.

That would have been a fun film!