Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.21 “Deliver Us From Evil”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Caitlin makes a fateful return to Miami, an old enemy emerges from the shadows, and Crockett crosses a line that he never thought he would cross.  Will he ever be able to come back?

Episode 4.21 “Deliver Us From Evil”

(Dir by George Mendeluk, originally aired on April 29th, 1989)

At the end of this week’s episode, Crockett executes a man in cold blood!

Whoa!

Now, I should note that the guy that Crockett killed was really, really bad.  Frank Hackman (Guy Boyd) was a hitman who was previously on Death Row for killing one of Crockett’s former partners.  Hackman, who was pretending to be born again and seeking redemption, tricked Crockett into “proving” his innocence and getting his conviction overturned.  Only as Frank left the prison did he smirk at Crockett and reveal that all of the “new” evidence was faked.  It was one of Miami Vice’s darkest episodes.

Frank went back to his old ways, committing crimes and killing families.  Crockett made it his mission to take down Frank but, during a shootout with Frank’s gang, Frank’s wife was caught in the crossfire.  Crockett blamed himself, even though the bullet that killed her came from Frank’s gun.  Frank also blamed Crockett and, while Crockett was struggling with whether or not he wanted to remain a member of the Vice Squd, Frank plotted his revenge.

Caitlin Davies, Crockett’s wife, returned from her European tour.  Unfortunately, her homecoming concert was abruptly ended when she was shot by a sniper.  She died in Crockett’s arms, bringing to an end a marriage that never really made much sense to begin with.

Crockett spent a few days drinking on his boat and then rejoined the Vice Squad, determined to track down Frank.  Castillo did that thing where he narrowed his eyes and looked vaguely concerned but he still allowed Crockett to work the case.  After Crockett and Tubbs learned that Frank was living on a nearby island, Crockett confronted him alone.

“You wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man,” Frank said, smiling while lounging by the pool.

BANG!

Frank was wrong.

It was a powerful moment but one that was diminished by one final shot that showed Frank had been holding a gun in his hand when he was shot.  From what I’ve been able to uncover online, this was apparently added at the insistence of the network, who did not want Crockett to become a cold-blooded killer.  I doubt that would be an issue for the networks today.

Season 4 has been pretty uneven but this was a powerful episode.  As it ended, it definitely seemed as if Crockett had crossed  a line and that he would never again be the same.  Who knows what that might mean for next week’s season finale?

We’ll find out!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.20 “A Bullet For Crockett”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, in honor episode 4.20, Cockett and Tubbs get high.

Just kidding!  Instead, Crockett takes a bullet and Phil Collins sings Something In The Air tonight.

Episode 4.20 “A Bullet For Crockett”

(Dir by Donald L. Gold, originally aired on April 15th, 1988)

After Crockett is shot by a drug dealer’s girlfriend, he fights for his life while the other members of the Vice Squad hover nearby.  Crockett remembers past moments.  The other members of the Vice Squad remember past moments….

Hey, it a clip show!

Usually. I hate clip shows but I’ll defend this one because it was well-edited and it reminded me of how good this show was before season 4 started.  Plus, the episode made good use of Something In The Air Tonight.

The important thing is that, after all the memories were shared, Tubbs took down the shooter and Crockett woke up.  Let’s not worry too much about why Crockett’s new wife never came to the hospital.  She at least appeared in flashback.

What doe it say about Season 4 that the best episode was probably the clip show?

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.12 “The Cows of October”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week …. I don’t even know how to describe it.

Episode 4.12 “The Cows Of October”

(Dir by Vince Gillum, originally aired on February 5th, 1988)

A cannister of bull seamen has been stolen from a Miami lab and the feds (represented by Harry Shearer) want it back before it falls into the hands of the Cubans.  Switek assists.  Izzy shows up to broker the deal.  Gerrit Graham plays a shady person who we are told is from Texas.  (His accent is more Arizona.)  Philip Michael Thomas wears a cowboy hat.  Don Johnson is largely absent until the final scene.  One gets the feeling that Johnson hated every minute of this episode while Thomas just seemed to be having fun.

This episode was, without a doubt, the stupidest episode of Miami Vice ever filmed.  And listen, I will admit that I haven’t seen every episode.  I’ve still got a season and a half to go.  There seems to be a general online consensus that the final two seasons of Miami Vice were not good at all.  I’m sure I have many dumb episodes ahead of me.  But I cannot — as much as I try — imagine any episode that could be as a dumb as the Vice Squad abandoning the war on drugs so that they could keep the Cubans from getting their hands on a cannister of bull semen.

Miami Vice has always been as its best when its been surrealistic, cynical, and gritty.  I would argue that Miami Vice really does not need to do comedic episodes.  For the first three seasons, nearly every episode ended with an innocent person either dead or forever embittered.  At its best, Miami Vice was not a happy show.  It was a show where Crockett and Tubbs drove around in the dark, loaded their guns, and Phil Collins sang in the background.  When Collins sang, “I can feel it coming in the air tonight,” he was not talking about bull semen.  At least, I hope he wasn’t.  (Oh, Lord….)

I really don’t know what to make of season 4.  Trudy’s going to space.  Crockett’s married.  The Vice Squad is searching for bull semen.  Yet somehow, through it all, Castillo continues to just stare at the floor and speak through gritted teeth.  Like seriously, shouldn’t Castillo be concerned about all this weird stuff going on?

I didn’t care much for this episode.  Searching for bull semen is a Pacific Blue thing.  Miami Vice needs to handle real cases and leave all that other stuff for the bike cops.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.7 “Missing Hours”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s the most infamous episode of Miami Vice ever!

Episode 4.7 “Missing Hours”

(Dir by Ate De Jong, originally aired on November 13th, 1987)

This is an episode that I had been waiting for years to see.  From the moment I decided to review Miami Vice, I started to read about and hear about this seventh episode of the four season.  This was the episode was supposedly so bad that many people consider it to be the point that Miami Vice “jumped the shark.”  This is the episode were James Brown plays a white-suited singer named Lou de Long, who has going from performing songs to giving lectures about UFOs.  (James Brown is essentially playing himself, right down to the presence of I Feel Good on the soundtrack.)  This is the episode where Trudy disappears for 12 hours and then returns with no firm memories of where she was.  This is the episode where even Crockett and Tubbs see a UFO.  Even though his appearance here does not receive as much attention as much a James Brown’s, Chris Rock made his television debut as a nerdy technician named Carson who was into UFOs.  Carson mentions getting his information for “computer bulleting boards” and everyone looks at him as if he’s speaking Esperanto.

This is the episode that is frequently cited as being the worst in Miami Vice history and really, who am I to disagree?

It pains me to say that.  I really wanted to like this episode, just because it is so strange and and I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian at heart but …. no, this episode really doesn’t work.  The sad truth of the matter is that, for all of his other talents, James Brown was a lousy actor and, with the exception of Michael Talbott and Philip Michael Thomas (who both appear to be having fun), the regular cast gives performance that suggest they all knew this episode was a bad idea.  Miami Vice was at its best when it was a cynical and downbeat show about the futility of the war on drugs.  There’s really no reason for Miami Vice to ever do a science fiction-themed episode.  Somehow, this is the second such episode to air during the fourth season.

Of course, the episode’s most unforgivable sin is that it ends with Trudy waking up in bed.  Not only is that ending a cop out but it’s also pretty rude to anyone who was actually trying to follow the plot or who was actually worried about whether or not Trudy had been brainwashed by the aliens.  Perhaps if this had been a Halloween episode, all of this could have been excused but apparently, this episode aired in the middle of November.

Poor Trudy.  Seriously, Olivia Brown didn’t really get many episode built around her character.  It’s a shame that, when they gave her one, it was this one.  Next week on Miami Vice, who knows?  I’m on vacation.  We’ll see what happens!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.4 “The Big Thaw”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

I don’t even know how to describe this episode.

Episode 4.4 “The Big Thaw”

(Dir by Richard Compton, originally aired on October 23rd, 1987)

The Vice Squad raids a decrepit building, expecting to find drugs.  Instead, they find a container that holds the frozen body of a dead reggae singer.  Robillard Nevin died after eating a poisoned fish but his body was frozen so it could be thawed out once a cure had been found.  Several different groups of people — including Nevin’s widow and, for some reason, Izzy — all want the body.

Wait …. what?

This is a Miami Vice episode?  Miami Vice, as you may remember, is supposed to be a stylish and cynical show about two detective fighting a losing war against the Miami drug underworld.  Miami Vice is the show that often ends with Crockett and Tubbs looking on in anger as they realize that all of their efforts have been for nothing.  This is the show that often ends with a sympathetic character either getting shot or shooting someone else.  This is the show in which there are no happy endings and every episode — at least in the past — seemed to conclude at the cost of Sonny Crockett’s soul ….

Well, you get my point.

What the Hell is this?

The fourth season of Miami Vice is off to an uneven start.  That’s not a surprise.  After four seasons, not every episode is going to be a winner.  It happens to the best of shows.  But, seriously, how did we go from Crockett and Tubbs driving in the middle of the night while Phil Collins sings In The Air Tonight to Crockett and Tubbs trying to protect a cryogenically frozen corpse?  I guess the show was trying to keep things fresh by trying something new but this episode was just too ridiculous to work.  Not even Tubbs bringing out his fake Caribbean accent could save this episode.

By the way, cryogenics and all that …. it doesn’t work!  It’s waste of money!  But, hey, whatever.  Do what you want.  It’s your life.

Book and Film Review: Get Shorty (by Elmore Leonard and dir by Barry Sonnenfeld)


In 1995’s Get Shorty, John Travolta stars as Chili Palmer.

Chili is a loan shark for the mob, an effortlessly cool guy who lives in Miami and who loves to watch old movies.  Chili may work for the Mafia and he may make his living by intimidating people but he doesn’t seem like such a bad guy, especially when compared to someone like Ray “Bones” Barboni (Dennis Farina).  Bones is an uncouth and rather stupid gangster who steals Chili’s leather jacket from a restaurant.  Chili reacts by breaking Bones’s nose with just one punch.  Bones reacts by trying to shoot Chili but instead, he gets shot by Chili himself.  (The bullet only grazes his forehead.)  Chili can do all this because he’s protected by Momo (Ron Karasbatsos) but, after Momo drops dead after having to walk up several flights of stairs just to then be given a surprise birthday party, Chili suddenly finds himself working for Bones.  (This all happens in the first few minutes of this perfectly paced film.)

Bones, eager to humiliate Chili, sends him to Vegas to collect on a debt owed by a dry cleaner named Leo (David Paymer).  Leo is thought to be dead but Bones wants to collect the money from Leo’s widow.  It’s not the sort of thing that Chili likes to do so instead, he ends up going to Hollywood to collect a debt from B-movie director Harry Zimm (Gene Hackman).  Chili  happens to like Harry’s movies.  He also likes Harry’s current girlfriend and frequent co-star, actress Karen Flores (Rene Russo).

Chili ends up in Hollywood, a town where everyone has some sort of hustle going.  Chili finds himself dealing with drug dealers (Delroy Lindo), egocentric film stars (Danny DeVito), stuntmen-turned-criminals (James Gandolfini), and the widow (Bette Midler) of a screenwriter.  Chili also finds himself looking to escape from the debt collection business by becoming a film producer.  Harry has a script that he wants to make.  Chili proposes a film based on the story of Leo the dry cleaner.  Danny DeVito’s Martin Weir wants to be a “shylock” in a movie just so he can show off his intimidating stare.  (“Is this where I do the look?” he asks while listening to the pitch.)  Get Shorty is a whip-smart satire of Hollywood, one in which the gangsters want to be film people and all of the film people want to be gangsters.  It features wonderful performances from the entire cast, with Travolta epitomizing cool confidence as Chili Palmer.  Hackman, Russo, DeVito, Gandolfini, and Lindo are all excellent in their supporting roles but I have to admit my favorite performance in the film is probably given by Dennis Farina, who turns Bones Barnobi into a very believable (and a believably dangerous) buffoon.

Get Shorty is based on a book by Elmore Leonard.  First published in 1990, the book is a quick and entertaining read, one that reminds us that Leonard was one of the best “genre” writers of his time.  When I read that book, I was surprised to see how closely the movie stuck to the book’s plot.  Much of the film’s dialogue is right there in the book.  It’s a book that practically shouts, “Turn me into a movie!” and fortunately, director Barry Sonnenfeld did just that.

The Unnominated #13: Heat (dir by Michael Mann)


Though the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences claim that the Oscars honor the best of the year, we all know that there are always worthy films and performances that end up getting overlooked.  Sometimes, it’s because the competition too fierce.  Sometimes, it’s because the film itself was too controversial.  Often, it’s just a case of a film’s quality not being fully recognized until years after its initial released.  This series of reviews takes a look at the films and performances that should have been nominated but were, for whatever reason, overlooked.  These are the Unnominated.

First released in 1995, Heat is one of the most influential and best-known films of the past 30 years.  It also received absolutely zero Oscar nominations.

Maybe we shouldn’t be too surprised that Academy — especially the Academy of the 1990s — didn’t shower the film with nominations.  For all of its many strengths, Heat is still a genre piece, an epic three-hour crime film from director Michael Mann.  It’s a film about obsessive cops and tightly-wound crooks and it’s based on a made-for-TV movie that Mann directed in the late 80s.  While the Academy had given a best picture nomination to The Fugitive just two years before, it still hadn’t fully come around to honoring genre films.

And yet one would think that the film could have at least picked up a nomination for its editing or maybe the sound design that helps to make the film’s signature 8-minute gun battle so unforgettable.  (Heat is a film that leaves you feeling as if you’re trapped in the middle of its gunfights, running for cover while the cops and the crooks fire on each other.)  The screenplay, featuring the scene where Al Pacino’s intense detective sits down for coffee with Robert De Niro’s career crook, also went unnominated.

Al Pacino was not nominated for playing Vincent Hanna and maybe we shouldn’t be too surprised at that.  Pacino yells a lot in this movie.  When people talk about Pacino having a reputation for bellowing his lines like a madman, they’re usually thinking about the scene where he confronts a weaselly executive (Hank Azaria) about the affair that he’s having with Charlene (Ashley Judd), the wife of criminal Chris Shiherlis (Val Kilmer).  And yet, I think that Pacino’s performance works in the context of the film and it’s often forgotten that Pacino has quite scenes in Heat as well.  Pacino’s intensity provides a contrast to Robert De Niro’s tightly controlled career criminal, Neil McCauley.  McCauley has done time in prison and he has no intention of ever going back.  But, as he admits during the famous diner scene, being a criminal is the only thing that he knows how to do and it’s also the only thing that he wants to do.  (“The action is the juice,” Tom Sizemore says in another scene.)  If any two actors deserved a joint Oscar nomination it was Pacino and De Niro.  In Heat, they’re the perfect team.  Pacino’s flamboyance and De Niro’s tightly-controlled emotions come together to form the heart of the picture.

No one from the film’s supporting cast was nominated either, despite there being a wealth of riches to choose from.  Ashley Judd and Val Kilmer come to mind as obvious contenders.  Kilmer is amazing in the shoot-out that occurs two hours into the film.  Ashley Judd has a killer scene where she helps her husband escape from the police.  Beyond Judd and Kilmer, I like the quiet menace of Tom Sizemore’s Michael Cheritto.  (Just check out the look he gives to an onlooker who is getting a little bit too curious.)  Kevin Gage’s sociopathic Waingro is one of the most loathsome characters to ever show up in a movie.  William Fichtner, Jon Voight, Danny Trejo, and Tom Noonan all make a definite impression and add to Michael Mann’s portrait of the Los Angeles underworld.  In an early role, Natalie Portman plays Hanna’s neglected stepdaughter and even Amy Brenneman has some good moments as Neil’s unsuspecting girlfriend, the one who Neil claims to be prepared to abandon if he sees “the heat coming.”

I have to mention the performance of Dennis Haysbert as Don Breedan, a man who has just been released from prison and who finds himself working as a cook in a diner.  (The owner of the diner is played by Bud Cort.)  Haysbert doesn’t have many scenes but he gives a poignant performance as a man struggling not to fall back into his old life of crime and what eventually happens to him still packs an emotional punch.  For much of the film’s running time, he’s on the fringes of the story.  It’s only by chance that he finds himself suddenly and briefly thrown into the middle of the action.

Heat is the ultimate Michael Mann film, a 3-hour crime epic that is full of amazing action sequences, powerful performances, and a moody atmosphere that leaves the viewer with no doubt that the film is actually about a lot more than just a bunch of crooks and the cops who try to stop them.  Hanna and McCauley both live by their own code and are equally obsessed with their work.  Their showdown is inevitable and, as directed by Michael Mann, it takes on almost mythological grandeur.  The film is a portrait of uncertainty and fear in Los Angeles but it’s also a portrait of two men destined to confront each other.  They’re both the best at what they do and, as a result, only one can remain alive at the end of the film.

I rewatched Heat yesterday and I was amazed at how well the film holds up.  It’s one of the best-paced three-hour films that I’ve ever seen and that epic gunfight is still powerful and frightening to watch.  Like Martin Scorsese’s Casino, it was a 1995 film that deserved more Oscar attention than it received.

Heat (1995, dir by Michael Mann, DP: Dante Spinotti)

Previous entries in The Unnominated:

  1. Auto Focus 
  2. Star 80
  3. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
  4. Johnny Got His Gun
  5. Saint Jack
  6. Office Space
  7. Play Misty For Me
  8. The Long Riders
  9. Mean Streets
  10. The Long Goodbye
  11. The General
  12. Tombstone

 

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.22 “Viking Bikers From Hell”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, it’s Reb Brown vs Don Johnson!

Episode 3.22 “Viking Bikers From Hell”

(Dir by James Quinn, originally aired on April 3rd, 1987)

Biker Reb Gustafson (Reb Brown) has been released in prison, just in time to seek vengeance for the death of his mentor, The Wire.  The Wire was killed in a drug deal gone bad so Reb decides to just track down every dealer that The Wire did business with during the final two weeks of his life and kill every one of them.  Working with Lascoe (John Matuszak) and Toad (Sonny Landham), Reb cuts a trail of terror through Miami’s underground.  Soon, there’s only one name left on the list …. SONNY BURNETT!

At this point, of course, everyone in Miami should know that Sonny Burnett is actually Sonny Crockett.  I’ve lost track of how many time Crockett and Tubbs have gotten their undercover identities blown.  Usually, the people who figure out that Sonny and Rico are undercover end up dying almost immediately afterwards.  But a few of their enemies have survived and it’s odd that they never seem to bother to tell anyone, “Hey, those guys are actually cops.”

This episode of Miami Vice is violent that it verges on self-parody.  (I guess that’s to be expected as the script was written by the great John Milius,  Milius was credited as “Walter Kurtz.”)  Reb Brown is an amusing actor.  He never showed much emotion but he always looked believable whenever he was relentlessly tracking down someone that he wanted to kill.  Brown is both this episode’s greatest strength and its greatest weakness.  As played Brown, Reb Gustasfson barely flinches when he gets shot.  He’s a relentless killing machine, the terminator on a motorcycle.  That does certainly make him an intimidating figure.  At the same time, this episode also features Reb Brown doing his signature yelling and, for me, it was hard to watch this episode without thinking about all the close-up, high-pitched screaming that he did in Space Mutiny.

Tubbs ends up in the hospital in this one.  An attack by Reb and his biker pals leaves Tubbs with a concussion.  Crockett visits the hospital and there’s a scene where he attempts to have a conversation with a heavily drugged Tubbs.  Tubbs’s comments make about as much sense as the last words of Dutch Schultz but it’s still kind of nice to see that Crockett actually does care about his partner.  The two of them haven’t always seemed particularly happy with having to work together over the course of the third season.

Biker fans will also be happy to note that Kim Coates has a small role in this one.  Crockett and Tubbs beat him up in a biker bar while demanding information about Reb.  The odd thing here is that Crockett and Tubbs go into the biker bar and make no attempt to hide the fact that they’re actually cops.  And all of the bikers in the bar seem to already know that they’re cops.  Seriously, were Crockett and Tubbs the two worst undercover cops in history?

This was an enjoyably over-the-top episode.  It was a bit silly but, when it comes to Reb Brown, would you want it any other way?

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.21 “Knock Knock …. Who’s There?”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, the one hand doesn’t know what the other one is doing.  That’s life in Miami.,

Episode 3.21 “Knock Knock …. Who’s There?”

(Dir by Tony Wharmby, originally aired on March 27th, 1987)

An drug buy that Crockett and Tubbs (as Burnett and Cooper) set up with Esteban Montoyo (a miscast Ian McShane), falls apart when a group of DEA agents show up.  Or, at least, they say that they’re DEA agents.  Oddly, they just take the money and the drugs and then leave, saying that Miami metro will take care of the rest.

It quickly becomes apparent that the DEA agents were fake but Crockett and Tubbs have no way to confirm that because the DEA refuses to share any information about their activities with the Vice Squad.  Even though the DEA and detectives are all after the same people and are supposedly soldiers in the same war, they don’t trust each other and they don’t share information.  Meanwhile, Internal Affairs is convinced that Crockett and Tubbs stole the money and the drugs for themselves and are determined to prove it.  Apparently, it doesn’t matter that Crockett and Tubbs have killed a variety of different drug lords over the past three seasons.  No one in Miami trusts anyone!

As for the fake DEA busts, they’re being set up by an agent named Linda Colby (Elizabeth Ashley).  Linda’s husband (Jimmie Ray Weeks) is a former agent who is now in a wheelchair and who is a friend of Crockett’s.  Their son is in the hospital, fighting for his life.  Linda’s crimes are helping her to pay for his treatment.  It’s not greed that motivates her, or at least greed isn’t the only thing.  She’s also motivated by love.

Of course, in the end, she still gets shot during a showdown between Crockett, Tubbs, and Montoya.  Unlike the majority of Miami Vice‘s guest stars, Linda survives being shot.  But, as she’s lying on the stretcher, Crockett has to arrest her.  Linda says that Crockett would have done the same thing for his son.  With tears in his eyes, Crockett proceeds to recite Linda’s Miranda rights.  Though Crockett doesn’t say it, he knows that she’s right but he’s also a cop and he has no choice but to arrest her.  Now, her son will no longer receive medical treatment and his mother is going to be in jail.  Wow, Miami Vice, depressing much?

Of course, happy endings were a rarity on Miami Vice.  That was one of the show’s strengths.  No one ever got a truly happy ending.  Every drug lord that Crockett and Tubbs took down would be replaced by someone else.  Anyone who ever tried to help usually fell victim to a bullet.  People like Linda did things for desperate reasons and paid the price, all in the service of an unwinnable war.

This episode was uneven.  Ian McShane was not a particularly interesting villain and Crockett getting his cover blown happens so frequently that it’s no longer a shock.  But that final scene definitely packed a punch.  Never have the Miranda rights sounded so hollow.

Next week …. it’s Crockett and Tubbs vs. a motorcycle gang!  We’ll see what happens.  It can’t be any more depressing than this episode.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 3.20 “By Hooker by Crook”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Sonny falls for a madame.

Episode 3.20 “By Hooker by Crook”

(Dir by Don Johnson, originally aired on March 20th, 1987)

Here I am, halfway through the third season of Miami Vice and it still amuses the Heck out of me how shocked Crockett and Tubbs are whenever their cover gets blown.

As far as  I can tell, neither Crockett nor Tubbs make much of an effort at maintaining their cover, beyond using the names Burnett and Cooper.  (Tubbs occasionally uses a fake Jamaican accent.)  They dress exactly the same as cops as they do when they’re criminals.  They hang out, in public, with the other members of the Vice Squad.  They occasionally respond to “all unit” calls, which means that anyone in the area at the time will recognize them as being cops.  Add to that, Crockett is supposedly a minor Florida celebrity, a former football star who went to Vietnam.  In short, these two have the worst covers ever but they’re still stunned when the criminals see through their “Burnett and Cooper” identities …. even though it happens in every episode!

This time, it’s George Takei, playing a viscous crime lord, who sees through their cover and orders his men to attack.  It leads to a shoot-out, much of which is filmed in slow motion.  It would be pretty exciting and dramatic, except for the fact that one of Takei’s henchmen is played Captain Lou Albano, the rubber band-wearing wrestler.  It also doesn’t help that Takei is …. well, he’s Takei.  He camps up his villain role to such an extent that it’s impossible to take him seriously as any sort of threat.  Even though he orders his men to kill an escort played by Vanity, he still comes across as being flamboyant, eccentric old George.

This episode was directed by Don Johnson and, as often happens when a cast member first tries his hand at directing, it’s filled with shots that are supposed to make you go, “Hey, this guy’s got a vision!”  The slow motion gunfight is an example of this.  An extended scene that is filmed with a fish-eyed lens (the better to represent Izzy’s point of view as he looks through a peephole) is another example.  A sex scene between Crockett and a madame who is played by Melanie Griffith is filmed in soft focus and lit in such a way that it looks like the entire set is about to burst into flame from the heat.  Johnson the director seems to be saying, “Dang, Don Johnson’s hot!”

At the time of this episode, Melanie Griffith was divorced from Don Johnson and married to Steve Bauer.  Later, she would divorce Bauer and remarry Johnson.  Johnson and Griffith do have amazing chemistry in this episode so kudos to Johnson the Director for making a good casting choice.  Johnson the actor owes him one.