TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.15 “Slaves and Masters” (dir by Diane Keaton)

Posted on April 24, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Get a life, punk!”

— Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer) in Twin Peaks 2.15 “Slaves and Masters”

Well, it had to happen some time.

We have reached the “Slave and Masters” episode of Twin Peaks. Judging from what I’ve read online, most fans seem feel that this episoode was the worst in the show’s history. Myself, I don’t know whether it is or isn’t. I’m writing this introduction before watching the episode. I guess I’ll know soon enough.

Interestingly enough, this episode was directed by actress Diane Keaton. When I first saw Keaton’s name listed as director, I assumes that she must have been a fan of the show and that she lobbied for the chance to direct an episode. However, according to Relections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks by Brad Dukes, the opposite was true. While the cast all liked and respected Keaton as a director, there was also a feeling that she didn’t seem to actually know much about the show. Considering that the show had suffered a severe ratings decline during the 2nd season, it seems probable that Keaton was hired to direct in an attempt to generate some new interest in the once hot show.

If that was the plan, it didn’t work. Apparently, the ratings for this episode were so low that Twin Peaks was put on hiatus a week after it aired. It was only due to a letter-writing campaign that ABC decided to air the last six episodes of the season. In short, it can be argued that this episode was truly the beginning of the end for Twin Peaks‘s original network run.

So, with all that in mind, let’s take a look at the 23rd episode of Twin Peaks, “Slaves and Masters.”

As always, we begin with the haunting opening credits and Angelo Badalamenti’s lushly romantic (yet ominously threatening) score. The mood has been set. We have returned to the world of Twin Peaks.

After the credits, we immediately cut to a close-up of a chess board. In slow motion, the camera glides over all of the pieces. The Queen, The pawns, the King, the Bishop, the little horsey guy. (I don’t know much about chess, sorry.)

Suddenly, we’re no longer looking at chess pieces. Instead, the camera is panning up the legs of Evelyn Marsh (Annette McCarthy), who is dressed in black and even wearing a black veil and — OH MY GOD, HAS THIS STORYLINE NOT BEEN RESOLVED YET!? Seriously, when people talk about Season 2 not being as inspired as Season 1, they’re talking about this half-assed film noir rip-off that James (James Marshall) rode into after he hopped on his motorcycle and left Twin Peaks. From the minute that Evelyn first showed up, I knew exactly what was going to happen with her, James, and her husband. Much like the whole Audrey kidnapping subplot, the Evelyn Marsh subplot should not have lasted any longer than an episode and a half. Instead, it’s still going on!

Anyway, the cops are talking to Evelyn and Malcolm (Nicholas Love) about how someone might have killed her husband. Malcolm is quick to blame James but Evelyn seems a little bit more conflicted about it. There is a funny moment when Malcolm says that James was hired to fix the Jaguar and the cop can’t figure out how to spell Jaguar. That made me laugh but, otherwise, this whole scene felt predictable and unnecessary.

Meanwhile, at Wallie’s Bar, a dozen cops are sitting at the bar, smoking cigars and listening to opera music. (Weird image is weird but it’s just weirdness for the sake of weirdness.) James and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) are in a corner of the bar. Donna says that they need to get help but James is all like, “I don’t need nobody!” He says that Malcolm framed him and that he just needs to talk to Evelyn.

Donna goes to call Ed but ends up having to talk to Nadine instead. Though we only hear Donna’s side of the conversation, it sounds like Nadine is talking about her new boyfriend. If her new boyfriend is Mike (Gary Hershberger) than that means that Nadine is now dating Donna’s ex and yet, Donna seems to be remarkably okay with that.

Back at the Sheriff’s station, Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) are interrogating Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick). Bobby wants to know why Harry and Cooper aren’t making more of an effort to track down Leo. Cooper asks Bobby about the night that the mill burned down. Bobby lies and says that Hank Jennings shot Leo.

Harry says that he’ll have some deputies watch the house. Bobby claims that he’s all the protection that Shelly needs. (For some reason, Bobby is acting like a methhead in this scene.) When Bobby and Shelly leave, they pass Albert Rosenfield (Miguel Ferrer), who takes one look at Bobby and shouts, “Get a life, punk!”

(We love you, Albert!)

After giving Harry an out-of-character bear hug (but that’s okay because I like it when dudes hug it out), Albert explains that he’s been sent to Twin Peaks by Gordon Cole. He has brought with him a picture of Windom Earle, in which Windom looks like an extra in a 1930s gangster movie. He also brings the news that Windom has been mailing different pieces of clothing to police agencies across the country.

Windom has mailed:

1. A white veil

2. A garter

3. A pair of white slippers

4. A peal necklace

5. A wedding dress

Oh my God, I said as Albert listed the items, Windom Earle is marrying Pippa Middleton!

Cooper says that the clothing belonged to Windom’s dead wife (and Cooper’s ex-lover), Caroline. Albert says that Windom is definitely making his move and then says that Cooper looks good in the muted earth tones of a flannel shirt. That was nice of Albert.

Meanwhile, in his cabin, Windom Earle (Kenneth Welsh) plays a flute while Leo (Eric Da Re) lies on the floor. (I have to be honest that these cabin scenes between Windom and Leo made me think about Peter Boyle burning down Gene Hackman’s hut in Young Frankenstein.) Once Leo wakes up, Windom — who was previously described as having a mind like a diamond, cold and precise — starts acting like a Satanic little wood sprite. He jumps around the cabin. He says a lot of evil quips. He beats Leo with a flute and then reveals that he’s placed a collar around Leo’s neck. Windom can electrocute Leo whenever he feels like it. Windom forces Leo to eat gruel while Windom pretends to be a kitty cat. “Purrrr,” he says.

(Windom’s a genius so why is he acting like a sadistic towel manager?)

We cut to Ed (Everett McGill) laying in bed with Norma (Peggy Lipton) and talking about how it’s been twenty years since they first fell in love. They agree that it’s sucked not being together. Suddenly, they hear Nadine (Wendy Robie) arriving home. Norma starts to leave but Ed says, “No, no. We may as well talk to her now.” Sure, Ed — have this conversation with Nadine while you and Norma are laying in bed in your underwear. That’ll really avoid any hurt feelings.

Suddenly, Nadine rips the bedroom door off of its hinges. She comes into the room, carrying a wrestling trophy, and then jumps into bed with Ed and Norma. Nadine apologizes for beating up Hank and then says that she knows about the two of them. Nadine says it’s okay because she’s in love with Mike now.

Cut to the Martell house, where Harry and Cooper are talking to Josie (Joan Chen) about what happened to her in Seattle. Josie says she doesn’t know who killed Jonathan. Harry begs Josie to tell him the truth. Out of nowhere, a surprisingly cheerful Cooper announces, “I think I’ll get another cup of Joe!”

(Somewhere, Joe Biden looks up and says, “Oh my God, they’re talking about me in an old episode of Twin Peaks!” No, Joe, they’re not. Sorry. Maybe later.)

While Cooper’s getting more coffee, Pete (Jack Nance) stumbles in. He has picked up the dry cleaning and can barely see above all of the clothes that he’s holding. He and Cooper do that thing where, instead of being smart and putting the clothes somewhere first, they stand around and attempt to have a conversation, despite the fact that Pete is about fall over backwards. When the phone rings, Pete gives the clothes to Cooper and now its Cooper’s turn to struggle to remain standing. Eventually, Cooper puts the clothes on a chair (was that so hard!?) and then picks one thread off of a jacket.

Speaking of Josie, the phone call was for her. It turns out that the call is from Thomas Eckhardt (David Warner) and he is wondering if he and Josie could get together. Thomas reveals that he is responsible for Jonathan’s death.

After hanging up the phone, Thomas and his assistant, Jones (Brenda Strong), stare at a black trunk.

Meanwhile, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) is apparently still convinced that he’s a Civil War general because he’s talking to Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) about Stonewall Jackson. Much like all that stuff with Evelyn Marsh, this is a plotline that should have been resolved after an episode and a half. Instead, it’s been dragged out way past the point of being amusing. The Ben-Goes-Crazy storyline is the epitome of how Season 2 abandoned surrealism in favor of just being weird for the sake of being weird.

It turns out that Ben and Jacoby have an audience. Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) are listening. Johnny Horne (Robert Bauer) is rocking back and forth while wearing a Native American headdress. And there’s a few members of the Hotel Staff, who have been transformed into some sort of marching band.

While Ben rants in his really crummy Southern accent, Jerry and Audrey leave the office. Audrey is worried about her father but Jerry seems to be fairly indifferent. (Needless to say, this goes against everything that we’ve previously seen about Jerry and his relationship with Ben.) Audrey points out that, conveniently enough, she is set to inherit the entire Horne business empire if anything happens to Ben and that Jerry better do what she says or she’ll cut him off.

Audrey returns to Ben’s office, where Dr. Jacoby looks perplexed. Audrey walks up to him and says she wants her father to turn back to normal. Jacoby says that he’s got it all taken care of. Bobby shows up, dressed like a Confederate soldier. Ben sings Dixie. Can this storyline just end, please!?

Meanwhile, at Walli’s, Evelyn is still dressed in black. Though the bar appears to be closed (there are chairs on the tables and everything), Evelyn is drinking. Suddenly, Donna walks up to her. Why is Donna still there? How much school can you miss in Twin Peaks? Why are Evelyn and Donna both hanging out in a bar that appears to be closed?

Suddenly, the bartender wanders by, lingering just long enough for Evelyn to order Donna a drink, “one that has a little umbrella in it.” Okay, is this bar closed or open? If it’s open, why are the tables covered in chairs? This stuff is confusing, especially for a non-drinker like me.

Anyway, Donna gets mad when Evelyn says that she won’t help James. Evelyn explains that life is crap. (Her words.) Suddenly, Malcolm (Nicholas Love) shows up and tells Evelyn to go home. He then threatens Donna and Donna reacts by yelling and then crying.

Back at the station, Albert reveals that the thread that Cooper found was from the carpet outside of Cooper’s hotel room. Apparently, this proves that it was Josie who shot Cooper at the end of Season 1. Bad Josie!

After swearing Albert to secrecy, Cooper heads to Harry’s office, where Harry is playing darts. Harry tells Cooper that the dead vagrant has been identified as being Eric Powell, a former member of the Merchant Marines.

“Powell was Caroline’s maiden name!” Cooper says.

Cooper says that this is all a big chess game to Windom. Harry says that, if Cooper needs a chess expert, they have one of the best right in town. And his name is Pete Martell!

At the diner, Pete shows of his mad chess skills by playing and winning four games at once. Cooper is impressed and invites Pete to help him play Windom’s chess game. Pete better be good because, every time that Cooper loses a piece, Windom is going to kill an innocent person.

Shelly walks into the diner and asks Norma if she needs any help. Norma hires her back. Then Harry shows up and says that he needs to talk to Norma. They slip into the kitchen where Harry explains that Hank is going away for a long time. Norma’s okay with that but I’m not. Hank may be a sociopath but he’s hella charming.

That night, Thomas shows up at the Martell house, where he is greeted by Catherine (Piper Laurie). Thomas appears to be slightly surprised by the sight of Josie in her maid’s uniform. Thomas and Catherine drink wine, eat dinner, and discuss art and killing. It quickly becomes apparent that Thomas has shown up to take Josie and that Catherine is more than willing to allow him to do that, for a price.

Meanwhile, at the Marsh house, Evelyn is stunned when James shows up in the living room and demands to know why Evelyn killed her husband and attempted to frame him. James says that it was hella lame to manipulate him with everything that he’s been going through. Evelyn confesses to everything. She says that she set James up. She says she did it for the money and also just because she felt like doing it.

Suddenly, Malcolm barges into the room and knocks James out. Malcolm says that they can now kill James and claim that it was self-defense. And you know what? He has a point. Bye, James.

Meanwhile, Ben and the gang recreate another Civil War battle. This whole Civil War subplot is so freaking stupid that I don’t even feel like talking about it anymore. While pretending to be General U.S. Grant, Dr. Jacoby announces that he’s surrendering. Having won the Civil War, Ben proceeds to faint. When he wakes up, Ben says that he had the strangest dream about being a general during the Civil War. He even does the whole “And you were there …. and you … and you!” thing. Anyway, Ben appears to be back to normal.

At the cabin, Windom is putting on a disguise. He continues to torment Leo with the electroshock collar.

At the Marsh mansion, James is still unconscious on the floor while Malcolm and Evelyn look down on him. Donna watches from outside the window. When Malcolm repeats that they can kill James and make it look like self-defense, Donna runs into the living room and screams, “NO!”

As Evelyn watches Donna cry over a motionless James, she stands up. Uh-oh, she’s got a gun. Evelyn shoots Malcolm and then says that she’ll frame Malcolm for her husband’s death though I don’t think it’ll be that difficult a frame-up because Malcolm is actually guilty.

At the Great Northern, Cooper walks down a hallway and stops in front of an elevator. He looks at a picture of Caroline that he has in his wallet. As he does this, a poorly disguised Windom Earle steps off the elevator. Windom goes to the front desk an drops off a note for Audrey. (Oh, goddamnit, is this going to be the start of yet another Audrey-gets-kidnapped storyline?) He also notices several postcards that all feature owls. “Owls,” he says.

Cooper arrives back at his room. He finds a white mask on his bed. Windom Earle has been there and he’s left a taunting message. The episode ends with Windom’s line: “It’s your move.”

Agck!

As for this episode, it definitely felt a bit off. The main problem is that it focused on two largely uninteresting subplots — Evelyn Marsh and the Civil War — and portrayed Windom Earle as so cartoonishly evil that it’s hard to believe that he could also be the villainous mastermind that Cooper’s spent the last few episodes describing. It was a weak episode but at least it finished off the whole Evelyn Marsh thing.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.14 “Double Play” (directed by Uli Edel)

Posted on April 23, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome back to Twin Peaks!

Last episode, Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) returned from the land of missing and brought with him a tale of the White Lodge. Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) obsessed over the Civil War. James Hurley (James Marshall) found himself trapped in a second-rate film noir. Jean Reanult (Michael Parks) was finally killed but, when Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) and Harry (Michael Ontkean) returned to the sheriff’s station, they discovered that someone had left them a present: a dead man sitting in front of a chess board.

Things start with the station still in darkness. Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost), Harry, and Cooper are looking over the dead man’s body. The first thing that they discover is that a chess pawn has been stuffed in his mouth. When Cooper correctly guesses that the dead man will have a stab wound in his chest, severing the aorta, Harry deduces that this is not the first time that Cooper has seen something like this.

Cooper says that he knows that his former partner, Windom Earle, is responsible. He guesses that the victim was a vagrant who was offered a lift by Earle. (In reality, the victim was played by Craig MacLachlan, brother of Kyle.) Earle stabbed the man and then set off the explosion in the woods. When everyone was distracted, Earle carried the body into the station. “Windom Earle has been in this room,” Cooper says, “I can still feel his presence.”

At the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) makes a deal with Bobby (Dana Ashrbook). She wants Bobby to help her bring her father back from “limbo land.” “From now on, Bobby,” Audrey says, “I’m the one you suck up to.”

“What about Shelly?” Bobby asks.

“What about Shelly?” Audrey replies.

Speaking of Shelly, she is in trouble because Leo (Eric Da Re) has suddenly woken up and now she’s trapped in a dark house, with no power and a very angry husband. Fortunately, Bobby arrives home right when Leo is about to attack Shelly with an axe. When Leo attacks Bobby instead, Shelly stabs Leo in the leg with a kitchen knife. Like an unmasked Jason Voorhees, the wounded Leo staggers off into the woods while Bobby and Shelly embrace.

The next morning, back at the station, Cooper watches as the body is wheeled away. Harry gives Cooper a cup of coffee and tells Cooper that, until he is reinstated in the FBI, he is still a deputy. “If you want this case,” Harry says, “it’s yours.”

Out in the front lobby, Andy (Harry Goaz) tells Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) that he has to talk to her about Nicky. Andy explains that he and Dick have been doing some detective work and they think that Nicky may have murdered his parents.

“He’s nine years old,” Lucy says.

“We know,” Andy nods, “we think he was six at the time of the crime.”

Lucy is not amused.

At the Marsh place, James is working on another one of classic cars when Jeffrey Marsh (John Apicella) walks up and introduces himself. He says that he’s envious of James’s carefree lifestyle. He says that he’d love to talk to James about the cars later in the day but James says that he should probably be moving on. Evelyn (Annette McCarthy) walks up and says that she is sure that she can find all sorts of things for James to do around the house. James walks back inside the garage and Jeffrey drives away in the car that James just finished working on. As Evelyn looks off in the distance, there is the sound of screeching tires and a car crash.

At the diner, Ed (Everett McGill) is having a cup of coffee of Doctor Hayward. Ed is worried because Nadine wants to start dating boys and, since she’s She-Hulk now, Ed worries that Nadine could kill them with her sex drive. Doctor Hayward suggests that Ed tell her to be home by 9:00 on school nights. I could be wrong but I don’t think Doctor Hayward is taking Nadine’s condition very seriously.

Doctor Hayward is actually more concerned about Donna, who took the van that morning to go see James. Ed explains that Donna is taking James some money, presumably all twelve of the dollars that were in James’s bank account.

After the doctor leaves, Norma (Peggy Lipton) sits down across from Ed. She says that Hank is in the hospital. He says that a tree fell on him but Ed tells her that Nadine actually beat him up. Norma is happy because, once Hank gets out of the hospital, he will be going back to prison for violating his parole.

At the sheriff’s station, Cooper and Harry are staring at the chess board that Windom Earle placed in front of the dead man. Cooper explains that he and Earle played a game of chess every day for three years. Earle thought that all the answers to life’s mysteries could be found in the game of chess.

Cooper explains that Windom Earle was his first partner. Everything that he learned about the law and the bureau he learned from Windom Earle. Cooper tells the story (the same one that he told Audrey earlier) of how, four years ago, he fell in love with a woman named Caroline who was a material witness to a federal crime and how, when she was attacked, Cooper was not prepared and could not save her life. Cooper adds the detail that she was stabbed, in the same way as the vagrant. Cooper also reveals that Caroline was Windom Earle’s wife.

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) arrives at a bar called Wallies, looking for James. James is not there but Evelyn is. “You look like someone who needs help,” Evelyn says. When Donna says she’s looking for James, Evelyn says that James did some work for her and then left for Mexico. Donna leaves, presumably taking James’s twelve dollars with her.

At the Great Northern, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn), Audrey, and Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) watch as Ben continues to play with his little army men. Ben thinks that Jerry is General J.E.B. Stuart. Ben assures everyone that they are marching forward and only God can stop them. “The almighty is a Southerner,” Ben declares. Dr. Jacoby explains that if Ben can reverse the defeat of the Confederacy then he will also reverse his own recent mental defeats. Jacoby and Ben start to sing Dixie.

At the sheriff’s station, Major Briggs stumbles in, says that he needs to see Harry, and then collapses.

When he comes to, Major Briggs explains to Harry and Cooper that, when his superiors questioned him about his disappearance, they exhibited a degree of “intolerance and suspicion” that apparently left Briggs feeling traumatized. Briggs goes on to explain that, during his disappearance, he believes that he was taken to the White Lodge. Briggs goes on to say that there will be much trouble ahead. “I will return,” Briggs says, “but until that time, I will be in the shadows if you need me.”

As Briggs leaves, Andy enters the office and tells Cooper and Harry that he needs to show them something. He leads them to the conference room, where Dr. Jacoby announces that he has spent the last few hours talking to Lana Milford (Robyn Lively) and he has found no evidence of her being crazy or cursed. There is no way that Lana is responsible for Dougie’s death, Jacoby says. Jacoby goes on to say that Lana has a heightened sexual drive and skills that few men could ever hope to experience. Jacoby announces that he and Lana are going to go bowling but, as soon as they step out of the office, they run into Mayor Milford (John Boylan), who was a rifle and who demands that nobody move.

The Mayor wants blood but Cooper has a solution. He takes the rifle and then locks Milford and Lana in the conference room together. After a few minutes, Lana and the Mayor are in love and talking about adopting a child.

At the Martell house, Pete (Jack Nance) tells Catherine (Piper Laurie) that they forgot to pick up the hot dogs. Catherine is more interested in telling Pete the true story of how she survived the fire and marshaled the resources to defeat Ben. She reveals that her brother (and Josie’s husband), Andrew Packard (Dan O’Herlihy), is not actually dead and he’s sitting in the study. Andrew explains that he and Catherine faked his death in a boating accident because a contract had been taken out on Andrew’s life by Andrew’s former business partner, Thomas Eckhardt. Catherine also reveals that Josie works for Thomas Eckhardt and that Eckhardt will be returning to Twin Peaks to rescue her from having to work as Catherine’s maid.

At the exact same time, Thomas Eckhardt (DAVID WARNER!) and his assistant, Jones (Brenda Strong), are checking into the Great Northern.

At the sheriff’s station, Lucy is sick of both Andy and Dick (Ian Buchanan) so she brings Doctor Hayward in to talk to both of them. Doctor Hayward explains that he called the orphanage and that Nicky is no murderer. Nicky’s mother was a chamber maid at the Great Northern and his father was a man who fled back to Canada following the back alley assault that led to Nicky’s conception. Hayward explains that Nicky’s mom died in childbirth. Nicky was adopted by a loving couple who died in an icy car crash. Six year-old Nicky heroically attempted to pull his adoptive parents to safety but failed. Andy and Dick both start to cry.

Harry gets an alert from Seattle, telling him that the man who Josie left with, the one who Josie claims that she merely escaped from, has been found murdered. Since Cooper is now a deputy, Harry orders Cooper to find out if Josie killed him. For once, Harry gets to order Cooper around.

At the Marsh house, James is packing his stuff when Evelyn comes in and swears the she is in love with him. Evelyn says that there’s been an accident and Jeffrey’s dead. James immediately figures out that Evelyn killed her husband and set him up to take the fall. Evelyn says that it was Malcolm’s idea and that Malcom isn’t really her brother. As the police arrive outside, Evelyn tells James to run and go find “that young girl who loves you.”

As James tries to sneak out of the house without being spotted by the cops, he runs into Donna, who is hiding behind a tree. They run off while Evelyn talks to the police.

In the woods, a dazed and confused Leo comes across a cabin. Inside the cabin, a man (Kenneth Welsh) plays a flute and invites Leo to enter. The man sits down in front of a chess board and introduces himself as Windom Earle.

End credits.

This episode shares the same flaws as a lot of season 2. There are a lot of good scenes, like Leo menacing Shelly and Bobby or the introduction of Windom Earle, but there are also scenes that are just too cartoonish, like anything involving the Mayor and Lana. This episode was the first and only episode to be directed by German director Uli Edel and he does a pretty good job, putting his own unique spin on the show’s signature style.

Tomorrow: “Slaves and Masters,” in which Cooper gets unexpected help in his chess game against Windom Earle.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.13 “Checkmate” (directed by Todd Holland)

Posted on April 22, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Welcome back to Twin Peaks!

This episode starts with Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) explains what happened the night that he disappeared. He says that he remembers “stepping from the flame, seeing a vague shape in the darkness, and then nothing until I found myself standing next to the cooled remains of our campfire the next morning.” While Briggs is saying this, he’s sitting on a stone throne in the middle of what appears to be a lush rain forest. Briggs says that hypnotism will not help him conquer his amnesia because his memories are “immune to regression.” He does, however, remember seeing a giant owl.

Suddenly, Briggs is in the conference room at the sheriff’s office, describing the owl to Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost), and Harry (Michael Ontkean). Harry asks Briggs what exactly his work involves. Briggs replies that information is classified but some information has to be revealed for the good of the soul. Briggs asks if they are familiar with Project Blue Book, the Air Force investigation into UFOs. Briggs explains that Project Blue Book was officially disbanded in 1969 but it still continues in an unofficial capacity. Briggs says that they are looking for a place called “The White Lodge.”

At that exact moment, two MPs step into the room and announce that they have arrived to take the major back to the base. “Colonel O’Reilly’s orders,” they say. (Colonel O’Reilly or The Cigarette Smoking Man?) Despite Harry’s objections, Briggs leaves with the MPs.

In another office, Denise (David Duchovny, who would later continue the work of Project Blue Book in Twin Peaks‘s spiritual successor, The X-Files) is pressuring Ernie (James Booth) to make the call to Jean Renault. Cooper comes in and eats doughnut while Ernie finally makes the call.

(This episode was directed by Todd Holland, who also directed several episodes of another show famous for its David Duchovny guest spots, The Larry Sanders Show.)

With the call having been made, Cooper checks with Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who says that she checked all of the personal ads in all of the national newspapers that Cooper listed and she did not find any mention of Windom Earle or any chess moves.

At the diner, Ed (Everett McGill) gives Norma (Peggy Lipton) a five dollar tip and also slips her a note telling her that they need to talk.

At the Johnson house, Leo (Eric Da Re) is still spitting up on Shelly (Madchen Amick) and Shelly is still complaining to Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) about having to do all the work. Bobby tells Shelly that she is looking at Ben Horne’s new apprentice and that he has better things to do than hang out with her and give Leo bubble bath. Shelly slaps him. Bobby leaves.

As the Marsh house, James (James Marshall) finally calls Ed and lets him know that he’s okay. James says that he needs a favor. As Evelyn (Annette McCarthy) listens, James says that he needs Ed to get all of the money out of his savings account.

“That’s only $12, James,” Ed says.

Once James has arranged to receive all twelve of his dollars, Evelyn asks him to tell her about his life in Twin Peaks. James talks about Laura and, how after she died, he felt as if she had stolen his life. James and Evelyn kiss and James notices that Evelyn is wearing sunglasses to hide a bruise on her face. Evelyn tells James that she needs his help.

Back at the diner, Nadine (Wendy Robie) sits down at the counter next to Mike (Gary Hershberger) and asks him if he wants to share a piece of cherry pie with her. “Oh Lord!” a horrified Mike shouts. Mike explains that he wants nothing to do with Nadine. He doesn’t want to talk to her. He doesn’t want to walk with her. He doesn’t want to see her.

Nadine replies with, “Mike Nelson, you are the handsomest boy I know and I would really like it if you and I could go out on a date.” She kisses him, leaving Mike stunned.

After being questioned by a suspicious Hank (Chris Mulkey), Norma leaves to see Ed.

Harry comes to the Martell house and demands to know why Josie (Joan Chen) did not move into his place and why she is working as Catherine’s maid. Josie says she is no good for Harry. Harry disagrees and soon, they’re kissing as passionately as Nadine tossing a teenager at wrestling practice.

At the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) discovers Ben (Richard Beymer) on the floor of his office, wearing a gray Confederate uniform and recreating the Civil War with miniature army men. Ben explains that a war has broken out between the States and that he can not do anything until the war is over.

Norma arrives at the Hurley house and tells Ed that he is the last thing she thinks of before she goes to bed and the first thing that she thinks of when she wakes up. She wants to be with him. Ed has no problem with that.

At the Sheriff’s station, Cooper and Harry watch as Hawk (Michael Horse) gets Ernie wired up for his meeting with Jean Renault. Ernie talks about serving in the Korean War. Cooper tells him to focus on the here and now and they talk about how they’re going to set up Jean Renault. Cooper says that he wishes he could take part in the operation but he’s been suspended by the FBI. Harry deputizes Cooper. Denise steps into the office and is now wearing a suit. “You can call me Dennis,” he announces.

Andy (Harry Goaz) and Dick (Ian Buchanan) are breaking into an orphanage, searching for information on Little Nicky’s parentage. Dick finds Nicky’s file but then a happy couple step into the office. They are the Burnstons and they have arrived to see Donnie, the child that they will be adopting.

“Where is Donnie?” Mr. Bursotn asks.

“Little Donnie is dead,” Dick replies. “Dead-tired, I mean! I’m afraid Little Donnie isn’t feeling up to snuff.”

Andy suggests that maybe they should leave but Dick insists on “helping out these nice people.”

While this is going on, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is knocking on the door of the Hurley house. When Ed answer, Donna says that she needs his help. She says that she can’t find James. Ed says that James has left town but not to worry because he will soon have $12.

Donna leaves and then Norma slips out the back door. No sooner has Ed finished saying goodbye to Norma then Hank pops up and punches Ed. Nadine comes home from cheerleading practice, just in time to see Hank beating up Ed. Since Nadine is now She-Hulk, she has little difficulty beating the crap out of Hank.

At the Great Northern, Ben is discussing Confederate war strategy with Bobby. Bobby leaves the office and tells Audrey that her father has gone insane. Audrey says that Dr. Jacoby is going to see Ben tomorrow. “Don’t worry, baby,” Bobby says, “Bobby’s on the case.” While they talk, Catherine sneaks past them and enters Ben’s office. Ben recognizes Catherine and asks if she’s come to gloat. “Well, go ahead and gloat,” Ben says, “I have defeated General Meade.” Catherine says that, despite the whole attempted murder/insanity thing, she still loves Ben.

At the Marsh mansion, James reveals that he has fixed Evelyn’s car. They drink champagne to celebrate. Evelyn tells James that she can always tell what he’s thinking and then asks him for his plans. She asks where he will go and James says he doesn’t know. Evelyn tells him not to leave. They kiss, with James not realizing that they are being watched by Evelyn’s brother, Malcolm. (Nicholas Love).

Outside of a farmhouse, Cooper watches through a pair of binoculars as Ernie and Dennis talk to Jean Renault (Michael Parks) and Preston King (Gavan O’Herlihy). Renault notices that Ernie is sweating, like a man wearing a wire. Ernie explains that he is naturally a heavy sweater. However, the sweat causes the wire to short circuit and soon, smoke is coming from Ernie’s shirt.

Realizing that Cooper is watching, Renault comes out of the farmhouse, holding Dennis and Ernie as hostages. He demands that Cooper show himself. When Cooper steps out from hiding, Renault demands safe passage across the border. Cooper offers a trade. If Jean releases Dennis and Ernie, Cooper will agree to take their place as the hostage. While this goes on, Harry orders Hawk to call in the state police.

That night, at the Marsh mansion, Evelyn leaves behind a sleeping James and goes to Malcom. “How’s our baby boy?” her brother asks, “Lucky baby boy. Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky….”

Back at the hostage standoff, the state police have arrived and even Andy is aiming a gun at the farmhouse. Inside the farmhouse, King tells Jean that he wants to make a deal and then make a run for it. Cooper, who has been beaten up, replies that the police will not make a deal and they will not let them run. Surrender is the only option.

“Okay,” Jean says. The only question is whether they give up quietly or if they kill Cooper first.

“Then we both die,” Cooper says.

Jean says he doesn’t care if he dies. He just wants to avenge his two brothers. He explains that everything was quiet until Cooper showed up. After Cooper showed up, Bernie was shot in the woods and Jacques was smothered in a hospital. Jean knows that Cooper did not kill either one of them but he suspects that Cooper brought “the nightmare” with him. Maybe, Jean explains, the nightmare will stop if Cooper dies.

King says that he doesn’t know what Jean’s talking about but that they have a problem and it has to be solved. King looks outside and sees a waitress approaching the farmhouse. Is it Norma? Could it be Shelley? No, it’s Denise and, as soon as she entered the farmhouse, she reveals that she has a gun in her garter. As Denise slams King against the wall, Cooper grabs the gun and kills Jean.

At the Johnson house, Shelly lies on the couch while the power goes on and off. When Shelly gets up to investigate, she discovers that Leo is not in his bed or his wheelchair. Instead, Leo’s standing in a corner, smiling at her and saying her name. Shelly screams as the lights go out.

At the Sheriff’s office, Cooper, Harry, Hawk, and Andy arrive and Lucy tells them that someone called in to say that there was a bomb hidden in the woods. Then there was a huge explosion and all of the lights went out. As Hawk goes to turn on the backup generator, Cooper steps into the darkened station. Using his lighter for illumination, Cooper discovers something. He calls Harry into the station and tells him to come alone.

In Harry’s office, a dead man (played by Kyle MacLachlan’s brother, Craig) has been propped up in front of Harry’s desk. On the desk, in front of the man, is a chess game.

Windom Earle has come to Twin Peaks!

This was an okay episode. I can’t bring myself to care about anything that’s happening with James but “Checkmate” did a good job of wrapping up the Jean Renault plot and setting up the show’s next big storyline, Windom Earle. Again, I was surprised to see that the whole Nadine goes to high school subplot holds up a lot better than I thought it would.

Tomorrow, I’ll be back with “Double Play,” in which the history of Windom Earle will be revealed!

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.10 “Dispute Between Brothers” (directed by Tina Rathbone)

Posted on April 19, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The 10th episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks opens with a shot of Laura and Leland Palmer’s pictures on the mantle and a title card telling us that it has been three days since Leland’s death.

At the Palmer house, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie) is preparing to bury her husband. Doctor Hayward (Warren Frost) tries to give her a shot, which she refuses. Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) assures her that Leland did not actually kill her daughter.

(It’s interesting to note that this episode was directed by Tina Rathone, whose last episode also featured a funeral.)

At Leland’s wake, the entire cast has shown up and they’ve all brought food. Nadine (Wendy Robie) is dressed like a 1950s teenager. Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) wonders if people are invited to wakes or if they just show up. Hank (Chris Mulkey) grabs all the food that he can. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) tells Ed (Everett McGill) that James is blaming himself for everything that happened. Ed promises Donna that James will eventually come back. Speaking of coming back, Doctor Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) has finally returned from Hawaii and arrived just in time for the wake.

Cooper tells Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) that he has some vacation time coming up so he will be sticking around town for at least a few more days. The Major invites Cooper to go night fishing.

Twin Peaks’s elderly mayor, Dwayne Milford (John Boylan) throws a swing at his equally elderly brother, Dougie (Tony Jay), the owner of the town’s newspaper. As Harry and Ed pull them apart, Pete (Jack Nance) tells Cooper that Dougie and Dwayne have had a running feud for over 50 years. Cooper says he’s really going to miss Twin Peaks.

Fade to commercial.

When the show returns, Ed and Jacoby are at Twin Peaks High School and trying to talk the vice principal (Don Calfa) into admitting 35 year-old Nadine as a member of the senior class. Nadine runs into the office and tells them to hurry up because class is about to start and she wants to try out for cheerleader.

Cooper is in his hotel room, packing. Audrey comes in, says that she’s from customer relations, and asks if his stay has been satisfactory. Audrey asks if Cooper’s just going to leave and break her heart. Cooper explains that he can’t get involved with anyone who was involved in any of his cases. Cooper explains that he once fell in love with a material witness. He was supposed to protect her but, when the attempt was made on her life, he was not prepared and she died in his arms.

At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) is trying on Leo’s (Eric Da Re) suit. Bobby is going to try to convince Ben into giving him a job. Shelly (Madchen Amick) is already getting bored with her new life.

At the sheriff’s station, Harry walks into his office and finds Catherine (Piper Laurie) waiting for him.

“Hello, Harry,” Catherine says.

“Forgive me for saying so, Catherine,” Harry replies, “but aren’t you dead?”

Catherine shrugs. She explains that, after the explosion at the mill, she woke up in the woods with no knowledge of how she got there. She says that a guardian angel must have rescued her. She spent a week living in the woods, eating only tuna fish. Harry asks what made her come back. Catherine says that she ran out of tuna fish.

In the lobby, Dick (Ian Buchanan) tells Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) that he wants to talk about their “bambino.” Dick says he wants to be a father, he believes the child is his, and that he’s enrolled in parenting classes. After hiding around the corner and listening to the conversation, Andy (Harry Goaz) walks into the lobby and says that, for the sake of the baby, they should all be friends. As Andy later explains to Hawk (Michael Horse), the key to Lucy’s heart lies in “morals and manly behaviors.”

Cooper stops by Harry’s office to say goodbye. Harry gives Cooper a parting gift of a special fishing lure and a Book House Boy patch. Cooper then says goodbye to Hawk, Andy, and Lucy. However, the goodbyes are interrupted by the arrival of FBI Agent Roger Hardy (Clarence Williams III) and Preston King (Gavan O’Herlihy) of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

(Long before they both appeared on Twin Peaks, Clarence Williams III and Peggy Lipton co-starred on The Mod Squad. Gavan O’Herlihy is the son of Dan O’Herlihy. Best known for playing Conal Cochran in Halloween III, Dan will join the cast of Twin Peaks in one more episode. As for Gavan, he is probably best known for playing Chuck Cunningham during the first season of Happy Days and getting shot by Charles Bronson in Death Wish II.)

Roger tells Cooper that he has been suspended from the FBI. Cooper’s raid on One-Eyed Jack’s was a violation of FBI policy because it involved crossing the border into Canada. Roger says that there are other allegations as well but they’re waiting for the evidence to arrive. Roger explains that King was involved in a sting operation to capture Jean Renault and that Cooper’s actions screwed it up. Also, the cocaine that King was using as a part of the operation disappeared after Cooper’s raid. Roger tells Cooper that he has 24 hours to assemble his defense.

At the Great Northern, Audrey helps Bobby get into Ben’s office but Ben (Richard Beymer) immediately has Bobby tossed out. Audrey saves Bobby from Ben’s goons. In order to thank her, Bobby buys Audrey an ice cream cone. “I like to lick,” Audrey says.

At Twin Peaks High School, Nadine tries out for cheerleader. Nadine now has Hulk-like super strength now, which she demonstrated by picking up a student and throwing him through the air.

Bobby calls Shelly to tell her about the meeting. While Shelly talks on the phone about how they have to put Leo in a home, Leo moves forward in his wheel chair. “He moved!” Shelly says, shocked.

At the diner, Norma (Peggy Lipton) takes the fancy table cloths off the tables and complains to Vera (Jane Greer) about a bad review that the Double R got from the mysterious travel writer, M.T. Wentz. Vivian reveals that she’s M.T. Wentz and she gave her own daughter’s diner a negative review. Vera says that she can’t violate her professional ethics.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank and Ernie (James Booth) are chasing women and acting like fools. Hank is pressuring Ernie to steal Vera’s money. Ernie says he could never do that, he’s gone straight. That’s when Hank introduces Ernie to his new employer, Jean Renault (Michael Parks). Jean is looking for someone to serve as a money launderer and Ernie agrees, bragging that he has set up deals for everyone from the Colombians to the Bolivians. Jean is pleased and introduces Ernie to his other partner, Preston King of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

That night, Harry is woken up by someone knocking on the door to his cabin. When he opens the door, Josie (Joan Chen), who was supposed to be in Seattle, stumbles in and collapses.

In the woods, Cooper and Major Briggs are camping, roasting marshmallows, and discussing right and wrong. Briggs says that it is some men’s fate to face great darkness. Briggs asks if Cooper has ever heard of the White Lodge. Cooper says he hasn’t but he looks forward to hearing more about it. Cooper then goes off to relieve himself. There is a flash of white light. “Cooper!” Briggs shouts as a hooded man appears in the woods. Cooper runs back to the camp, just to discover that Briggs has vanished.

This uneven episode finds Twin Peaks struggling to establish an identity after the conclusion of the Laura Palmer storyline. For me, the highlight was Leland’s wake, which showed Twin Peaks as a community. Nadine’s adventures in high school may be cartoonish but they hold up better than I thought they would. Finally, this was the first episode to mention that all-important White Lodge.

Tomorrow, both David Duchovny and Dan O’Herlihy join the cast in Masked Ball.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.9 “Arbitrary Law” (dir by Tim Hunter)

Posted on April 18, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Fire, walk with me!”

— Leland/Bob (Ray Wise) in Twin Peaks 2.9 “Arbitrary Law”

Well, this is it.

This is the episode where the “Who Killed Laura Palmer?” storyline was finally resolved. So, let’s jump right into it:

Following the haunting opening credits, the show opens with a shot of the dead body of Maddy Ferguson (Sheryl Lee), still wrapped in plastic. A flashlight shines on her face. It’s a very disturbing shot, for all the obvious reason. It is perhaps not a coincidence that this episode was directed by Tim Hunter, who previously directed River’s Edge, an entire movie that revolves around a lifeless body that is dumped next to a river.

This fades into a shot of Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), Harry (Michael Ontkean), Albert (Miguel Ferrer), and Hawk (Michael Horse). It’s the morning and they are walking through the woods. It’s an interestingly framed shot and the fact that it’s done in slow motion gives it a dream-like feel. It’s as if they’re four gunslingers walking towards some alien version of the O.K. Corral.

Albert is holding the letter “O” that was put underneath Maddy’s fingernail. Albert tells them what they already know. The same man who killed Laura also killed Maddy. White strands of fur, perhaps from a rug, where also found on Maddy’s body.

Harry says that they need to call Maddy’s family. “Leland should have their number…”

NO, HARRY, LELAND’S THE MURDERER!

Fortunately, Cooper speaks up. He asks Harry to give him 24 hours so that Cooper can “finish this.” Albert says that only Cooper knows where he’s going but that he needs to do whatever needs to be done “before this beast bites again.” Albert has such a way with words.

Cut to a restaurant that I don’t think we’ve seen before. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is sitting in a booth when James (James Marshall) comes to meet her. Wait — are Donna and James meeting somewhere other than the Double R or the Roadhouse!? Well, just stab Norma in the back, why don’t ya?

Anyway, James is all happy because he went for a drive on his motorcycle. He then gives Donna a ring and says that he just feels that they should be together all the time. Donna agrees but I have a feeling that this won’t last.

Meanwhile, at the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) is probably wondering where Donna and James are. She’s also having to deal with Vivian (Jane Greer), who is eating her food and being just as critical as ever. Norma complains that nothing she does is ever good enough. Vivian, who is pretty obvious M.T. Wentz, gives Norma advice on how to make the perfect omelette.

Andy (Harry Goaz) eats a slice of pie and keeps repeating “I am a lonely soul,” in French. Donna and James walk up to him so I guess they were at the diner all the time. That’s weird because that booth that they were sitting in earlier looked nothing like anything we’ve ever seen in the Double R before. Anyway, they want to know what Andy’s talking about, like it’s any of their business. Andy tells Donna that he’s repeating the words of Harold Smith’s suicide note and that, of course, reminds Donna that she’s essentially responsible for Harold killing himself. Donna says that she needs to find Agent Cooper.

Apparently, she manages to do just that because, in the next scene, Donna is leading Cooper up to the house of Mrs. Tremond. Fortunately, for all of us who had forgotten, Donna explains that Mrs. Tremond told her about Harold Smith and, also, that Mr. Tremond had a strange grandson who performed magic and said the same French phrase — J’ai une âme solitaire — that Harold used in his suicide note. Donna says that the note had to be a message.

(Yes, Donna, the message was probably something like, “Someone who pretended to be my friend totally betrayed me and now I’m dead.”)

Reaching the Tremond House, Donna is shocked when the door is answered by a woman that she’s never seen before. Yes, the woman is named Mrs. Tremond. No, there is no old woman or little boy living in the house. However, this Mrs. Tremond does have an envelope that was left in her mailbox on the day that Harold killed himself. The envelope is addressed to Donna.

And what’s in the envelope? A page from Laura’s secret diary!

Laura wrote that, on February 22nd, she had a strange dream. She was sitting in a chair in a red room, with a small man (Michael Anderson) and an old man. Laura wanted to tell the old man who BOB was but she couldn’t make herself understood. Cooper realizes that he and Laura had the same dream! Laura also wrote that BOB was only scared of one man, a man named MIKE.

On February 23rd, Laura wrote, “Tonight is the night that I die. I know I have to because it’s the only way to keep BOB away from me.”

(If you’re not already totally disturbed by all this, just reminds yourself that Laura is writing about her father.)

Cooper goes to see MIKE (Al Strobel). Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) is there, which is not surprising since Doc Hayward appears to be everywhere. He explains that Gerard/MIKE is in pretty bad shape. Cooper asks how he can find BOB. MIKE says that Cooper must ask the Giant but he is not clear on just how exactly Cooper can find the Giant. MIKE tells Cooper that 1) he has all the clues that he needs and 2) Cooper has “so much responsibility.”

Cooper steps out into one of the Great Northern hallways and sees the old waiter (Hank Worden) carrying a tray that has one glass of milk on it. “I know about you,” the waiter says. “That milk’ll cool down on you but it’s getting warmer now.”

“Getting warmer now,” Cooper repeats before heading over to Ben’s office. Harry is in the process of searching Ben’s office and is super excited because he thinks that he’s found more evidence proving Ben’s guilt. Both Harry and Cooper notice the white fox rug, which would seem to indicate that Maddy was in Ben’s office.

“He killed Maddy here!” Harry says.

As if by magic, Albert pops up and reveals that Maddy died the night before last, between 10 pm and midnight. “That fits,” Harry said, “we didn’t take Ben in until after midnight…”

Cooper nods but you can tell he’s thinking, “Nope, the Giant would totally disagree with you on this point.”

At the Sheriff’s station, Andy approaches Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) and says he wants to talk about “his” child. Not now, Andy! I mean, I think you and Lucy are a cute couple and all but there’s some important stuff going on….

In the holding cell, Ben (Ricard Beymer) is visited by Catherine (Piper Laurie), who is still poorly disguised as a Japanese man. (So, I guess anyone can just wander around the sheriff’s station whenever they feel like it?) Not realizing that he’s talking to Catherine, Ben says that he cannot proceed on the Ghostwood Estates deal until he gets a better lawyer and gets out of prison. Catherine then reveals her painted toenails and says that she intends to make the rest of Ben’s “pathetic existence” miserable. Ben signs over the mill and Ghostwood Estates to Catherine, hoping that she’ll give him an alibi for the night Laura was murdered. Catherine says she’ll consider it and then leaves.

(Silly Ben! You should have signed over the Mill first and then held off on Ghostwood until after Catherine talked to the Sheriff. Of course, if Twin Peaks took place today, DNA testing would have already gotten Ben out of jail.)

At the Palmer house, Leland (Ray Wise) greets Donna, who is dropping off a tape of a song that she and Maddy did with James. Donna is wearing a pair of Laura’s old sunglasses. She also lights a cigarette in the Palmer house. Donna’s the best!

Anyway, Donna tells Leland about Laura’s secret diary. Needless to say, Leland is disturbed by the news. Suddenly, he gets a call from Maddy’s mother. Maddy hasn’t shown up in Montana. As Donna listens, Leland says that he took Maddy down to the bus station.

After hanging up, Leland pops a stick of gum in his mouth and announces that Maddy never made it home. (“That gum you like is going to come back in style.”) Anyway, Donna is worried but Leland tells her not to worry. He goes over to a mirror and straightens his tie. BOB (Frank Silva) stares back at him.

Leland goes to get a glass of lemonade. When he returns, Donna is staring at all of the pictures of Laura on the mantle. Leland walks up behind her and — AGCK! — strokes her hair. He tells her that he knows the “cure for what ails you.” He puts some cocktail music on the phonograph and, suddenly, we’re no longer seeing Leland. Instead, we’re seeing BOB and he is pure nightmare fuel. However, Donna still just sees Leland acting like goofy old Leland.

Leland starts to dance with Donna in the middle of the living room but suddenly, he yanks her close to him and violently embraces her.

The doorbell rings. Leland goes to answer it, leaving a very shaken Donna. Fortunately, it’s Harry at the door. He explains that they need Leland’s help. There’s been another murder. Harry says he can’t go into specifics but he needs Leland to go with him. Leland and Harry leave and Donna is able to make her escape.

Donna meets with James at the park. (James rides up on his motorcycle and — well, I’ve defended James in the past but here, he just looks like kinda dorky. Sorry, James.) Donna tells James that Maddy’s dead.

“I gotta go,” James says, “Nothing matters. Nothing we do matters.”

Having discovered ennui, James jumps on her motorcycle and leaves Donna behind.

Night rolls in. Thunder. Lightning.

At the otherwise deserted Roadhouse, Ben sits in a booth. Cooper and Albert sit at the bar. Everything important happens at the Roadhouse, apparently.

Leland, escorted by Harry and Ed (Everett McGill), enters. After telling Leland that they are going to be meeting someone, perhaps the killer, Cooper has all the tables and chairs cleared off the floor. While this goes in, Hawk enters with the catatonic Leo (Eric Da Re) and Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook). Everyone who has been a serious suspect in the murder of Laura Palmer is now in the Roadhouse.

“Hail, hail,” Ben says, “the gang’s all here.”

Cooper then proceeds to do the Agatha Christie thing, announcing that the killer is someone in the room. He talks about his duty as a member of the FBI. He seeks simple answer to difficult questions. (Don’t we all?) Dale says that, after employing all of his other deductive techniques, he is going to try to something new. “For a lack of a better word,” he says, “magic.”

Suddenly, Major Briggs (Don S. Davis) shows up with the waiter. Major Briggs says that he was on his way home when the waiter flagged him down and asked for a ride to the roadhouse.

The waiter gives Cooper a stick of gum. Leland/BOB smiles and says, “I know that gum. I used to chew it when I was a kid.”

(That’s an interesting line, for many reasons. Last episode, Jerry wondered how he and Ben had grown up to be who they were. Leland is now talking about the gum that he used to chew as a child, which presumably would be the same time that BOB was living next door to his summer house. Throughout Twin Peaks, the innocence and hope of youth is contrasted with the dark secrets of adulthood.)

The waiter tells Leland that the gum is going to come back in style, which leads to several freeze frames. Time has stopped for everyone but Cooper, who is now seeing the Man from Another Place dancing in the room with the red curtains. Laura is whispering in Cooper’s ear but this time, he hears what she has to say. “My father killed me.” The Giant appears and hands the ring back to Cooper. The Giant vanishes.

“Ben Horne!” Cooper announces, “I would like you to accompany me back to the station! You might like to bring along Leland Palmer as your attorney.”

At the station, Ben is forcefully led to down to interrogation. Leland/BOB follows behind them. However, once they reach the interrogation room, Harry suddenly shoves Leland into the interrogation room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

Leland/BOB starts to howl like a wild animal while pounding on the walls. Cooper tells Hawk to release Ben.

“Leland?” a stunned Ben says.

“That’s not Leland,” Cooper says.

Cooper then explains that Laura told him that Leland killed her in a dream. Always the master of the understatement, Harry says, “We’re going to need stronger evidence than that.” That’s okay. Cooper’s sure that he can get a confession.

While Hawk aims a gun at Leland’s head, Cooper interrogates him. It quickly becomes obvious that Leland is now totally possessed by BOB. BOB taunts Cooper about something that happened in Pittsburgh and then says that Leland was a good ride but he’s too old and weak now. BOB says that it’s time to “shuffle off to Buffalo…”

(The implication, throughout both the show and the feature film that followed, is that Leland — as BOB — had been molesting Laura since she was a child. Since most child molesters were themselves molested as children, the suggestion that BOB used to live next door to Leland would suggest that BOB previously possessed someone who molested Leland. Twin Peaks has such a reputation for being a “strange” show that I think people overlook just how disturbing its portrait of the “perfect” family truly was.)

Having gotten their confession, Harry, Cooper, and Hawk leave Leland alone in the interrogation room.

Meanwhile, Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan) shows up to see Andy and … no, I’m sorry. I love Andy and Lucy and I enjoy Ian Buchanan’s performance as the hilariously shallow Dick but now is not that time for the baby subplot. There’s some serious stuff going down with Leland/BOB right now…

(Lucy does say, “I’m going to keep my baby.” Papa don’t preach…I’m in trouble now…papa don’t preach…)

Outside the interrogation room, Cooper reveals that 1) Ben had the wrong blood type and 2) both Leland and the Man from Another Place danced. In other words, it’s a pretty good thing that they got that confession because I’m not sure dream dancing would hold up in court.

Uh-oh, Leland/BOB is shouting in the interrogation room. It’s the fire walk with me poem! That’s never good!

“I’LL CATCH YOU WITH MY DEATH BAG!” Leland/BOB shouts, “I WILL KILL AGAIN!”

Suddenly, the smoke detector goes off and the sprinklers come to life. With water raining down upon him, Leland/BOB rams his head into the door, leaving a mix of blood, skin, and probably brains behind.

Harry and Cooper rush into the room, to discover Leland lying on the floor, dying. Leland, who now seems to be Leland again, cries for his daughter and begs for forgiveness. Leland says that he saw BOB in a dream and that he invited BOB in. And when BOB “came inside” him, he made Leland kill Laura. As Leland died, Cooper tells him that it’s time to walk down the narrow path and enter the light. Leland says that he can see Laura and then dies.

(That may sound silly but I had tears in my eyes. MacLachlan and Wise are brilliant in this episode.)

We cut to daylight. Cooper, Harry, and Albert walk through the woods, where they run into Maj. Briggs. Harry says that Leland was insane but Albert argues that people actually did see BOB in visions.

Maj. Briggs says, “Gentlemen, there is more in Heaven and Earth, than is dreamt of in our philosophy.”

Harry says he’s having a hard time believing that BOB existed. Cooper asks — and this question gets to the heart of the David Lynch aesthetic — whether it’s any more comforting to believe that a man would, of his own free will, rape and murder his own daughter.

Major Briggs asks if it matter what causes evil. Cooper says that it does. “It’s our job to stop it.”

Albert suggests that BOB may have just been “the evil that men do.”

(Meanwhile, the spirit of Shakespeare looks up and says, “I sense that I am being quoted without attribution…”)

“Where’s BOB now?” Harry wonders.

Cut to an owl flying straight to the camera. End with a freeze frame!

AGCK!

Seriously, that was a great episode. I wonder how people reacted to it in 1990. From what I’ve read, a lot of people stopped watching before this episode, which is a shame.

Well, Laura’s murder has been solved. I guess the show’s over now. Thanks for reading everyone and…

What?

Oh. Apparently, the show did go on and we’ve got 13 more episodes to review.

So, join us tomorrow for another review! And until then, why not check out the story so far:

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What do you think, Cooper?

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.8 “Drive With A Dead Girl” (dir by Caleb Deschanel)

Posted on April 17, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“In our world, he’s a shoe salesman and lives among the shadows.”

— Special Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.8 “Drive With a Dead Girl”

As always, this episode of Twin Peaks starts with the opening credits and, after 15 episodes, Angelo Badalamenti’s theme music has never sounded more haunting and the images of life in Twin Peaks — that mix of machinery and nature — has never seemed more ominous. Things that seemed quaintly beautiful when they were first seen — like the waterfall or that bird sitting in trees — now seem threatening.

The opening credits give us time to reflect on what we’ve seen so far. We’ve seen the venal Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) repeatedly ignore his own family in the pursuit of money. We’ve seen Leo Johnson (Eric Da Re) abuse his wife, Shelly (Madchen Amick). As of the previous episode, we now know Leland Palmer (Ray Wise), previously one of the show’s most sympathetic characters, not only murdered and raped his own daughter but then killed his niece as well.

You have to wonder if Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) still considers Twin Peaks to be “heaven,” just because it’s a town where “a yellow light means slow down instead of speed up.”

We open with an exterior shot of the Palmer house. We can hear Maddy (Sheryl Lee), once again, screaming for help.

The next morning, the Palmer house is quiet. Inside the living room, the camera moves over several pictures of Laura. One is of her as a child. Another is that famous homecoming photo. We hear the sound of Leland laughing and immediately notice that there seem to be a lot of golf balls on the floor. The camera pulls back to show us Leland, wearing a suit and looking disturbing cheerful, practicing his golf swing.

James (James Marshall) and Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) knock on the front door. They say that they came by to say goodbye to Maddy but Leland tells them that Maddy has already left. He tells them that she thought they were going to come by the previous night and that she was a little bit disappointed that she didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to them. Smiling like a father from a 1950s sitcom (and, at this point, it’s definitely not a coincidence that Twin Peaks, as a town, often seems to be a relic of a decade that is often thought of as being both “the good old days” and a symbol of repression), Leland says that they could write to her in Montana if they want.

(Today, Leland would never get away with this. James and Donna would be texting Maddy like crazy.)

After James and Donna leave, Leland glances in a mirror and sees BOB (Frank Silva) staring back at him. From upstairs, Mrs. Palmer (Grace Zabriskie), who apparently remembers nothing about the previous night, asks Leland to remember to sign them up for “Glenn Miller Night at the club.”

“Don’t worry, dear,” Leland says, with a big and creepy grin, “I won’t forget.”

Before leaving for the club, Leland grabs his golf bag out of the closet. Briefly, we catch a glimpse of Maddy, stuffed inside the bag.

(AGCK! Seriously, Leland/BOB has got to be one of the scariest things ever.)

In his holding cell, Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) wins my sympathy by 1) being an innocent man accused of a terrible crime and 2) obsessively trying to wipe down the bars of his cell. Seriously, that’s one reason why I could never handle being arrested. Put me in one of the filthy cells and I can guarantee you that I’d do whatever I had to do to get out of there.

A cheerful Jerry (David Patrick Kelly) shows up to see Ben and I was happy that he did. Jerry may be one of the most cartoonish characters on Twin Peaks (and that’s saying something!) but, after spending all that time with Leland/BOB, Jerry’s silliness is a relief. Jerry has just returned from Japan and he even has a small Japanese flag pinned to his suit.

Jerry explains that, since Leland has been charged with murdering Jacques Renault, he will be handling Ben’s case personally. (Of course, neither realizes that Leland is also responsible for the murder that Ben has been charged with.) Unfortunately, Jerry doesn’t appear to be a very good attorney.

However, Jerry is impressed by the fact that Ben has bunk beds, which leads to an odd flashback of Ben and Jerry, as children, watching a woman named Louise Dombroski dancing in their bedroom while holding a flashlight. (Even as children, Ben wore suit and Jerry wore a bowtie.)

“Lord,” Jerry says, from the top bunk in Ben’s jail cell, “what’s become of us?”

Meanwhile, Lucy’s (Kimmy Robertson) back! She shows up with her sister, Gwen (Kathleen Wilhoite), who is telling a long story involving a rusty nail and a purple toe. (I tuned her out because rusty nails freak me out.) Lucy asks Hawk (Michael Horse) if he’s seen Andy (Harry Goaz). Gwen, meanwhile, worries that Hawk “must hate all of us white people after all that we’ve done to you.”

(Did I mention that Gwen had a crying baby with her and how much I was hoping that Gwen would only be around for a scene or two? She’s kind of annoying.)

At the Great Northern, Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper have just finished talking to the One-Armed Man. As they walk past the lobby, they see Leland dancing with a golf club.

(Over the course of watching Twin Peaks, one thing that I’ve really grown to enjoy doing is spotting all of the strange guests who appear to stay at the Great Northern. This episode, the guests appear to be a cross-section of gruff fishermen and Catholic schoolgirls.)

When Harry approaches Leland, Leland apologizes for creating a commotion with his dancing. “Just call me Fred,” Leland says, which might be a reference to Fred Astaire but could just as easily be a reference to the fact that, at this point, Leland has been possessed for so long that it’s debatable whether Leland Palmer even exists at this point. He’s either BOB or he’s Fred but he’s definitely not Leland.

Harry tells Leland that they’ve arrested Ben. Leland says that they’re must be some sort of mistake but then promises Harry and Cooper that he will allow the law to handle it. Leland stumbles out of the lobby. As soon as he’s away from prying eyes, Leland starts to cry but then starts laughing. He is nearly caught by Cooper, who steps up behind him and asks Leland to let him know if he can remember anything unusual about Ben’s behavior on the night of Laura’s death.

(Ray Wise, by the way, gives an absolutely amazing performance in this episode. I don’t care if this episode aired nearly 30 years ago, give that man an Emmy.)

Harry and Cooper return to the sheriff’s station, where they watch as Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) draws blood from Ben’s finger. (Twin Peaks was obviously made before DNA testing became commonplace.)

Jerry is there, protesting Ben’s treatment. It’s obvious that everyone is enjoying making Ben’s life difficult, which actually makes me feel even more sorry for Ben. Cooper reveals that Jerry graduated last in his class, passed the bar on his third attempt, and that his license has been revoked in several states. Hey, Cooper — that’s fine and all but Jerry is absolutely right when he says that Ben is being deprived of his constitutional rights.

Cooper tosses Laura’s diary down in front of Ben, demanding to know if Ben knows what it is. Cooper reads from the diary and tries to goad Ben into confessing. It’s interesting to watch this scene because it’s hard not to feel that the normally upright Cooper has a hidden agenda here. Cooper has become a father figure to Audrey and here’s his chance to get rid of Audrey’s actual father. Twin Peaks is full of bad fathers, both literally and figuratively.

At the Johnson house, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) listens to that microcassette that he found during the previous episode. It’s a recording of Ben hiring Leo to burn down the Packard Mill. Bobby is excite because this is his chance to blackmail Ben. Meanwhile, Leo (Eric Da Re) spits up all over Shelly and her pretty blue nightgown. BAD LEO!

At the Double R, Norma (Peggy Lipton) is shocked when her mother, Vivian, suddenly shows up! Not only does Vivian appear to be rich but she’s played by Jane Greer, who starred in the classic film noir, Out of the Past. By her presence alone, Greer serves to remind us of the huge debt that Twin Peaks has always owed to the conventions of film noir.

It turns out that Norma’s mom is very critical of both Norma’s cooking and Hank (Chis Mulkey). It is also revealed that Norma’s mom has married a man named Ernie (James Booth), who appears to still be stuck in the 70s.

Norma says that she’s feeling nervous because there’s a food critic coming and that, with Shelly having quit to take care of Leo, she’s short of help. “That’s why you made the place look nice,” her mom says. (Passive aggressive for the win!)

At the Great Northern, the One-Armed Man (Al Strobel) wakes up when his armless shoulder starts to twitch. “He’s close….” he says. Unfortunately, the only other person in the room is a nurse and she doesn’t really seem to be paying attention. The One-Armed Man asks her for a glass of water. When she leaves the room, she passes a deputy.

Now, we’ve never seen this deputy before so I assume that he’s mostly there so he can be killed later on. He walks into the One-Armed Man’s room and the One-Armed attacks him from behind. Bye bye, Deputy Redshirt. “I’m so sorry,” the One-Armed Man says before climbing out a window.

(Actually Deputy Redshirt is just knocked to the floor and doesn’t die but you can still be sure that this would never have happened to Hawk.)

Hank finally shows up at the Double R Diner, apologizing for being late. It turns out that Hank has been missing for a few days. Norma gets mad at Hank but seriously, Hank is the most charming ex-con in Twin Peaks. Hank gets Norma to forgive him but then realizes that Vivian is working in the kitchen. Uh-oh!

Pete (Jack Nance) comes by the sheriff’s office and catches Harry birdwatching. As Pete talked to Harry, I noticed that Harry has a large picture of the other Harry S Truman — the mafia-connected President, old Give ‘Em Hell Harry — hanging in his office. Pete tells Harry that Josie has left Twin Peaks. Pete and Harry both talk about how they both loved Josie. Harry laments that he stood there and watched as Josie left with her assistant. Pete realizes that the “assistant” was probably Catherine in disguise. The fact that Harry has yet to realize any of this gives us some insight into why the FBI has basically taken over the role of law enforcement in Twin Peaks.

Andy finally returns to the sheriff’s station and is shocked to see Lucy, holding Gwen’s baby. Andy sees the baby and, assuming that Lucy somehow gave birth to a 4-month old baby over the weekend, he promptly faints.

Pete sneaks into the holding cells and plays a tape for Ben. Ben listens to Catherine (Piper Laurie) explaining that she’s alive and that she remembers that Ben was with her on the night that Laura Palmer died. Catherine is willing to provide an alibi but only if Ben signs over both the mill and Ghostwood Estates over to her. Pete starts to giggle like a maniac. (Pete! I thought you were a nice guy!) As an angry Ben tears apart his jail cell, another deputy that we’ve never seen before stares in at him.

Meanwhile, Leland is happily driving down a street. He’s singing. Sorry, I’m not going to look up which song that he’s singing. He’d driving rather recklessly, which will certainly bring him to the attention of Cooper and Harry, who are currently driving along the same street. Cooper is even whistling the same song that Leland is singing, a reminder that Cooper is not quite as upright as everyone thinks. He has secrets of his own.

(I was tempted to point out that the scenes of Leland driving are shot in much the same way as the driving scenes in Lost Highway but, seeing as how David Lynch did not direct this episode, I’m going to assume it’s just a coincidence. That said, Caleb Deschanel does a good job of recreating Lynch’s unique visual style throughout this episode.)

Just as I predicted, Leland nearly collides with Harry and Cooper. They pull him over, right next to the golf course. As the three of them talk, we hear the sound of golf balls being hit in the distance, and we are reminded that there is a golf bag in Leland’s trunk and that Maddy is currently in that bag.

Leland lies and says that, on the night Laura was murdered, Ben got a phone call and had an angry conversation with someone about a “dairy.”

“A diary?” Cooper corrects him.

“That could be!” Leland says.

Lucy calls for Harry. While Harry goes back to the police cruiser, Leland asks Cooper if he’d like to see his new golf club. Leland leads Cooper to the trunk of his car. While he’s getting the club, Harry shouts that the One-Armed Man has been found. Cooper looks away from Leland just as Leland sneaks up behind him with the golf club raised…

AGCK!

And yet, I have to admit that I laughed when I saw Leland about to bash the unsuspecting Cooper with that club. It all comes down to Ray Wise’s brilliant performance as Leland/BOB. Wise does such a good job of playing the role that we totally believe that he could successfully fool everyone in town. We know that he was fully capable of killing Cooper at that moment but no one else would ever suspect such a thing to be true. Even though everyone knows that he killed Jacques, everyone still thinks of him as being Leland Palmer, the somewhat goofy 1950s sitcom dad.

At the police station, Andy has recovered. Gwen is talking to him about a time that she fainted in the produce section. “People want terrible things to happen to you,” Gwen tells him, “I know.” Meanwhile, Hawk leads the One-Armed Man through the police station.

In the interrogation room, Harry, Cooper, and Jerry watch as the One-Armed Man walks in a circle around Ben. The One-Armed Man announces that “He’s been close but BOB is not here now!” Jerry demands that Harry either charge Ben or let him go. That may have been a mistake because Harry promptly steps forward and charges Ben with murdering Laura.

Cooper pulls Harry outside and says that they’re “saddling the horse before we’re ready to ride.” Now, suddenly, Cooper thinks that Ben is innocent. Harry tells Cooper that they can’t base the entire investigation on dreams and giants. They need hard evidence and, what little evidence they have, all points to Ben Horne.

At the Great Northern, Vivian is eating dinner with Norma, Hank, and Ernie and critiquing all of the food. OH MY GOD, could Vivian be M.T. Wentz!? While Norma and Vivian excuse themselves to go to the ladies room, we discover that Hank and Ernie were in prison together. Ernie used to be a gambler but he says that he’s “out of it” now.

That night, in his hotel room, Cooper talks into his tape recorder. He says that Ben Horne is in custody and that the investigation is nearly done. The trail, Cooper says, is narrowing but the last few steps are always the most difficult and dangerous.

Someone knocks on the door. No surprise, it’s Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). She wants to come in and talk to the man who will be her new father figure if Ben is sent to prison. Audrey asks if Cooper arrested her father. Yep. Did he do it? That’s for a court to decide. (Awww, Dale. Your faith in the system is so touching, if misplaced. Never change.) Audrey says that all she ever wanted was for her father to love her and not be ashamed of her.

I watched that little scene with tears in my eyes, becoming so overcome with emotion that it was a bit of a relief when Cooper’s phone rang. After answering it, a suddenly alarmed Cooper orders Audrey to go back to her room and lock the door.

At the waterfall, the police are in full force. Maddy’s body, wrapped in plastic, has been found.

Between Ray Wise’s brilliant performance and that haunting final shot of Maddy, this episode left me exhausted. As uneven as the second season was, this episode (and the one that preceded it) are as strong as anything seen during the first season.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.7 “Lonely Souls” (directed by David Lynch)

Posted on April 16, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

Who killed Laura Palmer?

That was the question that made Twin Peaks famous and it was also the question that proved to be the show’s undoing. It is easy to forget that each episode of Twin Peaks only covered a day in the investigation of Laura’s murder. On Twin Peaks, it only took two weeks for Cooper and Harry to solve the mystery. But, in the real world, it took David Lynch and Mark Frost seven months to finally reveal the identity of Laura’s murderer. Today, audiences take serialization for granted and even appreciate shows that take their time to tell a complex story but that was not the case in 1990. In 1990, most television dramas still featured mysteries and plots that could easily by resolved in an hour. Viewers were intrigued by Twin Peaks but, when it became apparent that neither Lynch nor Frost were in any hurry to provide a solution to its central mystery, the ratings started to fall.

Laura’s killer was finally revealed on October 10th, 1990, during the seventh episode of the second season. Mark Frost wrote the episode. David Lynch directed it. It is an episode that nobody who has seen it will ever be able to forget.

The episode starts with Harry (Michael Ontkean), Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), Cole (David Lynch), MIKE (Al Strobel), Andy (Harry Goaz), and Hawk (Michael Horse) standing in the lobby of the sheriff’s station and drinking coffee. Since Cole is nearly deaf, he politely yells at everyone before leaving.

At the Great Northern, all of the guests have been led into the lobby so that MIKE can look at them and try to determine whether or not they are possessed by BOB. For some reason, half of the guests are in the Navy. MIKE does not see BOB in any of them. Ben (Richard Beymer) walks into the lobby and MIKE starts to have a seizure.

At Harold Smith’s house, Hawk arrives and discovers that the house has been trashed and that Harold has hung himself in his greenhouse.

At the Palmer house, Maddy (Sheryl Lee) is drinking coffee with Leland (Ray Wise) and Sarah (Grace Zabriskie) while Louis Armstrong’s haunting What a Beautiful World plays on the phonograph. Maddy tells them that, tomorrow, she is going to go back home. Leland and Sarah tell her that they understand and that they appreciate all of her help. This scene is shot as if from the point of view of someone (BOB?) hiding in the room and eavesdropping on the conversation.

Back at Harold’s house, Harry and Cooper are heading up the investigation into his apparent suicide. While Hawk comes across the secret diary of Laura Palmer in the debris of Harold’s house, Cooper and Harry discover a note pinned to Harold’s body. “J’ai un homme solitaire,” it reads. I’m a lonely soul.

At the Johnson House, Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick) discover that, after paying bills and even with the insurance money, Shelly is only going to have $42 left over for the month. Bobby and Shelly argue while Leo (Eric Da Re) sits at the table with oatmeal on his chin. Leo suddenly starts yells. “He’s alive!” Shelly screams. “New shoes,” Leo says.

At the Great Northern, Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) tells Ben that she knows all about One-Eyed Jack’s. She tells Ben that she saw him there. “Remember Prudence? I wore a little white mask.” After trying to play dumb, Ben admits that he owned One-Eyed Jack’s for five years but he denies ever encouraging Laura to work there. Audrey also gets Ben to admit that he had an affair with Laura.

“Did you kill her?” Audrey asks.

“I loved her,” Ben replies.

At the diner, Shelly tells Norma (Peggy Lipton) that she’s going to have to quit her job so that she can take care of Leo. Norma tells Shelly that it’s okay and that her job will still be there whenever Shelly is able to return. They have a sweet moment, that it is ruined when Ed (Everett McGill) and Nadine (Wendy Robie) enter the diner. Nadine still thinks that she is a teenager and Ed is supporting her delusion by telling her that her parents are in Europe and that Norma has only been working at the diner for six months.

At the Johnson house, Bobby and the other Mike (Gary Hershberger) taunt Leo. Bobby has figured out that “new shoes” refers to Leo’s boots so he and Mike rip them apart, searching for drugs. Instead, they find a small audio tape hidden under the sole.

At the sheriff’s department, Cooper goes through the shredded remains of Laura’s diary. He tells “Diane” that he has found repeated references to BOB, littered throughout the diary. Laura wrote that BOB was a friend of her father’s and, two days before death, Laura wrote, “Someday, I am going to tell the world about Ben Horne.”

At that exact moment, Audrey steps into the conference room. She tells Cooper about her conversation with her father, revealing that Ben and Laura were having an affair and that Ben owned One-Eyed Jack’s. Cooper tells her not to say a word about this to anyone and sends her home. Obviously, Cooper feels that he may have just discovered the identity of Laura’s killer. Cooper tells Harry that they need a warrant. “A warrant for the arrest of Benjamin Horne.”

That night, at the Great Northern, Ben is talking to Mr. Tojamura and happily agreeing to accept Tojamura’s proposal to invest in the Ghostwood Development. Just as Tojamura hands over a contract for Ben’s signature, Harry, Cooper, Hawk, and Andy enter the office. Harry orders Ben to come with them. He’s wanted for questioning in the murder of Laura Palmer. When Ben tells them to leave, Hawk and Andy grab him and drag him out of the office.

Handcuffed but defiant, Ben is taken to the station and deposited in a holding cell. As Harry and Cooper watch Ben being led off, the Log Lady (Catherine Coulson) appears behind them.

“We don’t know what will happen or when,” the Log Lady says, “but there are owls in the Roadhouse.”

At the Martell house, Mr. Tojamura meets with Pete (Jack Nance) and it is revealed, just as Lisa Marie predicted three episodes ago, that Mr. Tojamura is actually Catherine (Piper Laurie) in disguise!

At this point, there’s only 15 minutes left in this episode. These 15 minutes are some of the most intense in the history of television. Suffused in dread and danger, these 15 minutes constitute David Lynch at his absolute best.

At the Palmer house, Sarah crawls down the stairs, in the throes of another vision. Lying on the floor, Sarah sees a white horse standing in the middle of the living room. The horse vanishes and Sarah passes out. Suddenly, Leland is standing in the living room, staring at himself in the mirror. He ignores Sarah.

At this point, everyone watching the show says, “Oh shit, something terrible is going to happen.”

At the Roadhouse, Julee Cruise sings an upbeat song. Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) meets with James (James Marshall). Donna is feeling guilty over Harold’s suicide. James says that it wasn’t anyone’s fault. He says that Harold was a sick man.

“Everybody’s hurt inside,” James said and I’d make the obvious REM joke but, right now, I’m too worried about what is about to happen at the Palmer house.

Cooper, Harry, and the Log Lady step into the Roadhouse, searching for the owls. They grab a table and watch Julee Cruise.

“Tell your heart, don’t let me die,” Julee sings.

There’s a shot of the dead Harold Smith (Lenny von Dohlen) bartending. It’s such a quick shot that I had to go back and make sure that it was actually him.

Suddenly, everyone but Cooper freezes. Julee Cruise disappears. The Giant stands on stage and looks directly out at Cooper.

“It is happening again,” the Giant says.

Everyone watching the show says, “Oh, shit!”

At the Palmer house, Leland stares at himself in the mirror but — HOLY SHIT! — it is BOB (Frank Silva) who he sees reflected back at him. Leland smiles. His face turns into the laughing BOB and then transforms back into smiling Leland.

Leland looks towards the front door. He reaches into his suit and pulls out rubber gloves.

Maddy runs downstairs, shouting that it smells like something’s burning. She sees Sarah lying on the floor and Leland staring at her. Leland turns into BOB and then turns back into Leland. Maddy runs screaming from the room and Leland chases after her.

The next four minutes of this episode, in which Maddy is murdered by Leland/BOB, are among the most nightmarish that I have ever seen. Even by the standards of 2017, it is a shocking scene and I can only imagine how people in 1990 reacted. While attacking and killing Maddy, Leland and Bob constantly switch places. Leland sobs while Bob laughs. While Maddy struggles to breathe, Leland holds her body and dances in a circle with her. “Laura,” he moans. The BOB who Laura wrote was molesting her was never a friend of her father. Instead, BOB was her father. Even though I knew it was coming and what was going to happen, rewatching this scene for this recap still left me feeling emotionally drained.

Sheryl Lee, Frank Silva, and Ray Wise are all amazing in this scene. Three version of this scene were filmed. One featured BOB chasing Maddy while another featured Leland attacking her. The final scene was created by editing those two scenes together. The third version, which was filmed just as a decoy, featured Ben attacking Maddy. According to David Lynch, Richard Beymer was relieved to later discover that he was not actually playing the murderer but Ray Wise was very upset by both what he had to do in the scene and the revelation that Leland had been a child molester.

After killing her by smashing her into a picture frame, Leland places an O underneath Maddy’s fingernail.

At the Roadhouse, the Giant still stares at Cooper. Finally, he vanishes. Julee Cruise is back and singing a much more somber song.

The same elderly waiter (Hank Worden) from the Great Northern approaches Cooper’s table. “I’m so sorry,” he says.

Sitting at the bar, the previously unseen Bobby starts to cry. At her table, Donna starts to cry. On stage, Julee Cruise cries. Everyone knows that it has happened again, even if they do not know what it is.

Cooper stares into the distance as the scene fades into a shot of the red drapes.

It has been nearly 27 years since this episode was originally broadcast. It is Twin Peaks at both its best and most disturbing.

Tomorrow, Lisa will review the 8th episode of season 2, Drive With A Dead Girl.

Previous Entries in The TSL’s Look At Twin Peaks:

TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.5 “The Orchid’s Curse” (dir by Graeme Clifford)

Posted on April 14, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(This Good Friday review of the fifth episode of the 2nd season of Twin Peaks is dedicated to my mom, Gloria Elena Marchi, who would have been 59 years old today. So, it better be a good episode, right?)

This episode of Twin Peaks was directed by Graeme Clifford, an Australian filmmaker who has several films and tv shows to his credit. As an editor, Clifford worked on some of the best films of the 70s, several of which share the surrealistic vision of David Lynch. Among the films that Clifford worked on: Robert Altman’s Images, Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now and The Man Who Fell To Earth, and the ultimate cult classic, The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Orchid’s Curse (and, as I pointed out yesterday, I love the pulpiness of that title) is the only episode of Twin Peaks that he directed. It’s also the first of four episodes to be credited to writer Barry Pullman.

Let’s take a look at The Orchid’s Curse!

Following the haunting opening credits, we get Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Dale is waking up in bed and, as always, talking into his tape recorder. He had a dream that he was eating a tasteless gum drop, just to wake up and discover that he was chewing on one of his ear plugs. As I listened to Dale speak, I breathed a sigh of relief. After the previous episode had him acting all out-of-character, it was nice to have the old Dale back.

Dale notices an envelope taped underneath his bed. It’s a note from Audrey, telling Dale that she’s gone up to One-Eyed Jack’s. Okay, Dale — now you know where Audrey is! GO RESCUE HER!

At the police station, Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse) comes in and wow, is he mad! Oh wait — he just has to go to the bathroom. As he explains to Harry (Michael Ontkean), two retired school teachers live in the house next to the Palmer summer home. Neither of them have ever seen BOB before but apparently, they made him drink two pots of tea before telling him that.

Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) tells Harry that she’s going to down to Tacoma to see her sister, who has just had a baby. She offers to stick around long enough to show the temp how to do everything. Harry tells her that they’ve got it covered but Lucy obviously knows better. As an administrative professional, I related so much to Lucy in this scene.

At the Johnson house, a salesman named Mr. Pinkle (David Lander) is showing Bobby (Dana Ashbrook) and Shelly (Madchen Amick) a product that he calls “porto-patient.” Basically, it’s a harness and crane that allows you to drag around a comatose person Shelly and Bobby are obviously planning on having some fun with Leo. Sure, how could that backfire? Bobby does worry that porto-patient appears to be a death trap and that they don’t want to kill Leo because then they won’t get his disability checks. Pinkle explains that it’s either porto-patient or a wheelbarrow.

Meanwhile, Judge Sternwood (Royal Dano) is holding court at the Roadhouse, for some reason. In my last review, I forgot to mention that Judge Sternwood travels with a much younger “law clerk.” I’m going to guess that the character of Judge Sternwood was based on Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas.

William O. Douglas

Anyway, it’s time for Leland Plamer’s arraignment. Prosecutor Lodwick (Ritch Brinkley) argues that Leland (Ray Wise) should not be given bail because of the seriousness of the crime and “the oft-witnessed instability of Mr. Palmer after the death of his daughter.” Harry speaks on Leland’s behalf. Harry says that Leland is a well-respected member of the community.

(Meanwhile, Deputy Andy (Harry Goaz) gets even more adorable by doing courtroom sketches, all of which are pictures of the back of Leland’s head.)

Judge Sternwood released Leland on his own recognizance, a ruling that will prove to be so ill-thought that it actually could have been issued by William O. Douglas. (But I kid the late Judge Douglas!)

At the Harold Smith House, Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) shows up with another Meals on Wheels tray. Harold (Lenny von Dohlen) is waiting for her, a glass of wine in his hand.

“What’s behind those deep blue eyes today?” Harold asks. Oh, Harold!

Donna says that she’ll share her life with Harold, as a part of his “living novel,” but only if he lets her read Laura’s secret diary. Harold offers to read the diary to her but he emphasizes that the diary must not leave his living room.

Donna starts telling Harold about her life but quickly turns things on him, asking where he’s from and where he grew up. Harold’s from Boston and he says he grew up in books. As I watched this scene, I found myself marveling at Lenny von Dohlen’s wonderful performance. Harold is definitely creepy but von Dohlen still brought a definite sweetness to the character. I actually found myself starting to get a little bit mad at the way that Donna was manipulating him.

Seriously, Donna, don’t hurt Harold!

Donna, apparently, was not listening to me because she snatched Laura’s diary and, teasingly, used it to lead Harold outside. Harold immediately had a panic attack, which should teach Donna an important lesson about trying to act like Audrey.

Back at the Road House, Judge Sternwood rules on Leo’s competency. Leo’s lawyer is played by songwriter Van Dyke Parks and, as I watched this scene, I found myself wondering why every lawyer and judge in Twin Peaks — with the exception Leland Palmer — insisted on dressing like an extra in a 1950s western. I mean, it kind of works and I guess you could make the argument that Judge Sternwood holding court in the Roadhouse is meant to pay homage to Judge Roy Bean.

In other words, Roy Bean + William O. Douglas = Judge Sternwood.

Judge Sternwood summons Cooper and Harry to the bar so that he can deliberate on Leo’s competency while his “law clerk” serves up drinks. Sternwood drinks something called a Black Yukon Sucker Punch. Yuck.

Anyway, because he’s not a very good judge, Sternwood rules that Leo is not competent to stand trail and sends him home with Shelly.

At the Hurley house, Big Ed (Everett McGill) and James (James Marshall) attempt to adjust to a new life in which one-eyed, middle-aged Nadine (Wendy Robie) thinks that she’s a teenager. Nadine goes to get a drink and rips off the refrigerator door. Apparently, that’s something that’s going to be happening from now on.

At the Great Northern, Ben (Richard Beymer) enters his all-wood office and is informed that a Mr. Tojamura is here to see him. Mr. Tojamura is the Japanese man that Ben saw last night, the one who smart viewers will have already figured out is actually Catherine (Piper Laurie) in a not very convincing disguise. Anyway, Tojamura says that he represents an investment firm that wants to invest in the Ghostwood Project and Ben gets all excited and…

WHY ISN’T BEN WORRIED ABOUT AUDREY!?

See, this is one thing that bothers me about season 2 of Twin Peaks. During season 1, Ben was greedy and amoral. He wasn’t a great father but, at the same time, he did love his daughter. That was what made Ben an interesting character. But, in season 2, Ben is just a caricature of an evil businessmen. Reportedly, after not interfering during season 1, ABC interfered a lot in season 2 and it’s obvious when you see how a character like Ben has been robbed of all his nuance.

Ben gets rid of Mr. Tojamura and then suddenly, Hank (Chris Mulkey) pops out of a secret passage and informs Ben that Cooper is on his way. On schedule, Cooper enters the office and Jean Renault (Michael Parks) calls from Canada. Jean wants Cooper to drop off a briefcase full of money at a merry-go-round, at midnight. “Leave it by the horse’s head.”

After Cooper gets the briefcase and leaves, Hank once again pops out of the secret passage. Ben tells Hank to follow Cooper, to make sure the money is delivered, and to bring back Audrey. Hank is confused. Shouldn’t Cooper bring back Audrey? No, Ben explains, Cooper isn’t coming back. Also, because Ben is cartoonishly evil now, he tells Hank to try to bring back both Audrey and the money.

That night, at the Hayward House, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) are conspiring on a way to ruin Harold’s life. Donna will distract Harold and Maddy will sneak into Harold’s house and steal the diary. Maddy, who tends to jump at her own shadow, seems like the worst possible person to use in a situation like this but then again, maybe that’s exactly why Donna’s using her.

See, this what I think is going on in Donna’s head: Maddy gets caught, Harold kills her, and then Donna gets James to herself. Donna has crossed into the dark side!

At One-Eyed Jacks, Jean and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) are rehearsing how Jean will get the briefcase and then kill Cooper with a blade that he has hidden underneath his sleeve. Can Jean and Blackie just die now? They’re kind of boring as villains. And every minute they’re alive, that’s another minute wasted on this stupid Audrey-bring-held-hostage subplot.

At the police station, Andy is struggling to figure out how to answer the phone and transfer calls. That’s right! Nobody appreciates a good administrative professional until she’s gone! Anyway, Andy calls the lab and discovers that he’s no longer sterile. As Doc Hayward puts it, “They’re not just three men on a fishing trip. They’re a whole damn town.” So, Andy could be the father of Lucy’s baby! Woo hoo! Excited, Andy calls Lucy in Tacoma and is shocked to learn that Lucy is not visiting her sister. Instead, she’s at Adams Abortion Clinic. “OH MY GOD!” Andy say.

In Harry’s office, Harry and Cooper are planning a raid on One-Eyed Jack’s. Hopefully, it won’t take them as long to attack as it took Rick to stand up to Negan on The Walking Dead. (Rick Grimes and Sheriff Truman have a lot in common but that’ll have to wait for a future post.)

Deputy Hawk comes in and says that he found out that the One-Armed Man has been staying at a motel but nobody’s seen him in a while. Hawk found a hypodermic needle and a weird drug in the motel room. “Weird, deep smell,” Hawk says. Harry sends Hawk home, apparently forgetting that Hawk is a member of the Book House Boys and, therefore, there’s no reason to leave him out of the planning of the raid.

At the Double R Diner, Maddy rushes in and asks for a cup of coffee to go. She doesn’t even notice that James is sitting at the counter. James looked a little offended and I was worried he was going to get all weepy but instead, he just said, “Hi.” Maddy says that she can’t talk now and, under Donna’s bad influence, she lies and says that she’s going back home.

At the Harold Smith House, Donna is talking to Harold. Donna tells Harold about the time that she and Laura went down to the Roadhouse to meet boys. The story starts with Laura talking Donna into wearing a short skirt and ends, as these often do, with skinny dipping. Harold, who would have loved Twitter, says that the story was beautiful. Meanwhile, Maddy lurks around outside.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Cooper and Harry are also sneaking around outside. They’re both dressed in black, like Daniel Craig in the poster for SPECTRE, so we know that it’s commando time! As an owl — “The Owls are not what they seem,” — watches, Harry takes out one of the guards. They sneak through the backdoor and find themselves in the brothel section of One-Eyed Jacks, which is full of young women in lingerie and middle-aged men who all give off a “Ted-Kennedy-About-To-Drive-Mary-Jo-Kopechne-Home” sort of vibe.

Outside the Harold Smith House, Maddy drinks the coffee that she got at the Double R. Meanwhile, inside the house, Harold is telling Donna about orchids. Harold and Donna finally kiss and, overwhelmed, Harold has to leave the room. This is Maddy’s cue to break into the house and help Donna ruin the man’s life.

As Maddy lurks towards the house, Cooper is busy lurking around One-Eyed Jacks. “Hi,” Cooper says, grabbing Jean’s main lackey, “would you take me to Audrey Horne please?” Cooper is led to a bedroom, where an unconcious Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) is tied up. After punching out Jean’s main henchwoman, Cooper untied Audrey.

Meanwhile, Harry is watching Jean and Blackie talking in another room when, suddenly, Jean stabs Blackie to death. Well, that one down. Jean spots Harry and runs off. At the same time, Cooper runs up, carrying Audrey over her shoulder. Cooper and Harry start to run for the exit when they run into a bald man holding a gun.

“Goddammit,” I yelled, “I thought this stupid kidnapping plot was finally over!”

Suddenly, the bald man falls dead. There’s a knife on his back. It turns out that Deputy Hawk not only followed Harry and Cooper to One-Eyed Jack’s but he’s totally cool with killing people. Hawk’s a badass, y’all.

Outside One-Eyed Jack’s, Hank watches as Cooper, Harry, Audrey, and Hawk run off. He calls Ben but is then grabbed from behind by Jean.

At the Harold Smith House, Maddy is looking for the diary but, because Maddy is generally incompetent and no longer wearing her big red glasses, she is struggling to find it. Donna, who is in the greenhouse and waiting for Harold to return, tries to direct her. You can tell Donna’s thinking, “Why couldn’t it have been me and Laura looking for Maddy’s secret diary instead? That would have been so much easier!”

Suddenly, Harold’s back! He’s brought Donna big flower! Harold’s so sweet.

Despite Donna’s efforts to distract him, Harold sees Maddy stealing Laura’s diary. Cornering Maddy and Laura and holding a scary-looking gardening tool, Harold shouts, “Are you looking for secrets!? Do you know what the ultimate secret is!?”

At this point, I was hoping Harold would quote Jean Renior’s The Rules of the Game and say that the ultimate secret is that everyone has their own good reasons. Instead, Harold says that it’s “the secret of knowing who killed you,” and proceeds to use the tool to cut open his face!

NO, HAROLD!

Maddy screams, as well she should. Way to destroy someone’s life, Maddy. I realize that it was Donna’s plan but Maddy’s the one who took too long to find the diary.

Plus, I just don’t like Maddy.

Cooper to the rescue! Yesssssssss!

Anyway, that’s it for The Orchid’s Secret. This was a definite improvement over the previous episode, even with the kidnapping subplot. The performances of Lara Flynn Boyle and Lenny von Dohlen elevated this entire episode while Pullman and Clifford did a pretty decent job recreating the unique style of Lynch and Frost.

All in all, a worthy episode.

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TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary” (dir by Todd Holland)

Posted on April 13, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir.”

— Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) in Twin Peaks 2.4 “Laura’s Secret Diary”

I have to admit that I initially got really excited when I saw who had directed Laura’s Secret Diary.

That’s largely because I misread the name and I briefly thought that the episode was directed by the veteran horror director, Tom Holland. I happen to be friends on Facebook with Tom Holland and I immediately started to try to figure out the least intrusive way to ask him about his experience directing for Twin Peaks… But no, on second glance, it turned out that the director of this episode was Todd Holland. Todd Holland is another veteran director, though he’s best known for directing sitcoms.

Speaking of credits, this episode is credited to four different writers. Along with Twin Peaks mainstays Mark Frost, Harley Peyton, and Robert Engels, credit is also given to Jerry Stahl. Like Holland, Stahl worked on several sitcoms but he’s probably best known for his memoir, Permanent Midnight, in which he wrote about his experiences as a drug addict in Hollywood. Permanent Midnight was later turned into a movie, starring Ben Stiller as Stahl. (Of course, before all that, Stahl wrote the script for an odd sci-fi film called Cafe Flesh, a movie that many consider to be one of the best pornographic films of all time.) As quoted in Reflections: An Oral History of Twin Peaks, Mark Frost says that Stahl wrote the initial script for Laura’s Secret Diary but the script was a “an absolute car wreck… He turned in a completely incomprehensible, unusable, incomplete script a few days late and as I recall there were blood stains on it.” Stahl’s script was rewritten by Frost, Peyton, and Engels.

How did they do? Well, let’s take a look at Laura’s Secret Diary!

As always, we start with the opening credits, attempting to lull us into the town’s false sense of security. What’s interesting is that, with each subsequent viewing of the opening credits, those shots of Twin Peaks and the woods and the waterfall become more and more ominous. Since the series started, we’ve learned a lot about goes on in those woods. We know what’s lurking underneath the surface.

The show begins with a disturbing image, one that feels extremely Lynchian even if it was directed by Todd Holland. We start with an extreme closeup of … well, we don’t know what we’re looking at it. It appears to be a white surface that is covered with dark holes but, only as the camera pulls away, do we realize that we’re looking at the wall of the police station’s interrogation room. On the soundtrack, we hear screams and a distorted voice repeating the words, “Daddy!” over and over again.

(As unsettling as this may be, it’s even more disturbing if you know what’s going to happen in the next few episodes. Twin Peaks is one of the few shows that is even more unsettling in retrospect.)

We then see that Leland (Ray Wise) is staring at the wall while Harry (Michael Ontkean) and Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan) attempt to talk to him about the death of Jacques Renault. Leland confesses to the murder, crying as he does so. As always, Doc Hayward (Warren Frost) is standing in the background, watching. Doc Hayward is always watching in the background, almost enough to make me wonder if he’s real or if he’s just a dream character, a symbol of old-fashioned decency who has been fantasized into existence by the beleaguered citizens of Twin Peaks.

After Leland’s confession, Hayward and Cooper talk. When Hayward expresses some sympathy for Leland, Cooper snaps, “Do you approve of murder, doctor?” (This is our first clue that Cooper’s going to spend most of this episode not acting like his usual friendly self.) Cooper then storms off, probably leaving Hayward to wonder just what exactly he did wrong. However, Hayward doesn’t have long to wonder because suddenly, he’s got Andy (Harry Goaz) to deal with.

Andy is concerned that he “flunked” his “sperm test” and wants another shot. Doc Hayward gives him a specimen jar and tells him to put it in a brown paper bag once he’s done with it. “I’ll be in the car,” Hayward says. Andy goes off with the jar and a copy of Flesh World (and I think it might be the same copy of Flesh World that contained Laura and Ronette’s personal ads). Of course, he happens to run into Lucy (Kimmy Robertson), who is none too happy to see her ex-boyfriend heading to the men’s room with a pornographic magazine. “Hmmphf!” Lucy says.

While this drama unfolds, Harry informs Cooper that the judge will be arriving that afternoon. His name is Clinton Sternwood. He travels the circuit in a Winnebago. The district attorney is also coming. His name is Darryl Lodwick. Also, it turns out that no one named Robertson ever rented the house next to the Palmers’ summer cabin. The house is currently rented to a family named Kalispell. I’m assuming that it must be Funny Name Day in Twin Peaks.

Andy wanders by and, being Andy, he accidentally drops his specimen jar and it rolls underneath a chair in the waiting room. As Andy tries to retrieve it, Cooper sees that Andy is wearing the same brand of boots that they found at Leo Johnson’s house. Cooper asks about the boots and Andy thinks he’s asking about sperm and hilarity ensues. Anyway, it turns out that Andy bought the boots from the One-Armed Man, who is apparently still missing.

At the Great Northern, a frantic employee runs up to Ben Horne (Richard Beymer).

“Mr. Horne!” she says.

“Walk and talk,” Ben says and…

Wait a minute! WALK AND TALK!? AARON SORKIN, YOU’VE JUST BEEN RIPPING OFF TWIN PEAKS!

But anyway, the employee informs Ben that she’s heard a rumor that M.T. Wentz is coming to Twin Peaks. Well, of course, he is. It’s Funny Name Day, after all. But apparently, M.T. Wentz is some sort of famous travel writer. No one knows what Wentz looks like but a favorable Wentz review could put the Great Northern on the map.

Ben steps into his office and finds Jean Renault (Michael Parks) waiting for him. Oh my God! M.T. Wentz is Jean Renault!? No, actually, it turns out that Jean is just there to show Ben a video tape of Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn) being held hostage. Renault wants money and he wants Dale Cooper to serve as the delivery man.

At the Double R Diner, Hank (Chris Mulkey) tells Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) that she looks pretty today and Donna says, “Thanks,” and considers that Hank is just as troubled as James Hurley but he doesn’t cry as much. However, Hank ruins his chances by making fun of the people on Donna’s Meals on Wheels route. “You wouldn’t understand,” Donna tells him.

Norma (Peggy Lipton) tells Hank that she’s just heard that M.T. Wentz is in town. Hank has no idea who that is. Apparently, they don’t read restaurant reviews in prison. Norma explains that a good review from M.T. Wentz could being a lot of business to the Double R, especially if it appears in a “Seattle paper.” Apparently, Norma is hoping to corner the vegan hipster market.

Though Hank doesn’t know who M.T. Wentz is, he still grabs a hundred dollar bill from the register and then leaves to buy flowers and other stuff that could make the Double R look worthy of a good review. He also tells Norma to call Big Ed. Big Ed can help clean the place up! Norma nods. It’s not as if Big Ed ever has anything else to do.

Meanwhile, Donna is having lunch with Harold Smith (Lenny Von Dohlen) and it must be said that Harold is probably on the cuter end of the recluse scale. Donna has to be happy that she didn’t get stuck with some sort of Howard Hughes-type with uncut finger nails and empty Kleenex boxes on his feet. Harold offers to read something from Laura’s secret diary. Donna says sure.

Harold reads a passage where Laura talks about how much she loves Donna. Laura worried that Donna wouldn’t be her friend if she knew “what my insides are really like.” Donna starts to cry and Harold apologizes. Donna says its okay but she wonders if maybe they should give the diary to the sheriff.

“No,” Harold says, “I’ve read this from cover to cover. There are no solutions.”

(Harold wasn’t the only person who read Laura’s diary from cover to cover. The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer was written by Jennifer Lynch and published shortly before the start of the second season. I’ve ordered a copy from Amazon and I’ll read it as soon as it arrives. Maybe if y’all are really nice to me, I’ll even write a review of it.)

Harold explains that people tells him their stories and he places them in a larger context. “Friends and lovers,” Harold says, even though there don’t seem to be any around. “Maybe you’ll be come one,” Harold says, as the creepy meter goes off the charts.

Meanwhile, at the Great Northern, Ben tells Cooper that Audrey has been kidnapped. Cooper is upset that Ben has circumvented “normal channels” and has contacted him directly. Uhmmm … is it just me or is Cooper kind of being a dick in this episode? This definitely does not seem to be the same Dale Cooper who has been present in every other episode of the show. It’s almost as if the script for this show was written by an outside writer who 1) hadn’t ever really watched Twin Peaks and 2) was struggling with personal issues of his own.

Meanwhile, at the Martell House, Josie (Joan Chen) has returned from Seattle. Oh my God, could Josie be M.T. Wentz!? IT WOULD EXPLAIN SO MUCH! But anyway, Josie tells Pete (Jack Nance) that she’s sorry about the mill burning down and that she’s happy that Catherine was around to take care of things. Pete mentions that Catherine died in the fire. Josie and Catherine share a hug, even as Pete explains that they still haven’t found Catherine’s body but they’re still going to have a service.

“I don’t know what, exactly, we’ll be burying,” Pete says…

Wait! If they haven’t found Catherine’s body, then she’s probably still alive! Maybe Catherine is actually M.T. Wentz…

At One-Eyed Jacks, Emory (Don Amendolia) leads Audrey into an office where a displeased Jean is waiting. Emory says that “Ms. Horne was a very bad girl, refusing to take her medicine.” When Jean realizes that Emory has been hitting Audrey, Jean shoots him. Good for Jean!

At the police station, Andy tries to approach Lucy but Lucy’s like, “Go talk to your magazines!” and she starts waving a big pair of scissors at him. At that point, Cooper walks into the station and tells Andy to go get some air. Cooper’s not in a good mood. He doesn’t have time for all of this. (In the past, Cooper would have made time but, in this episode, Dale Cooper is suddenly a raging jerk.) After Andy leaves, Cooper orders Lucy to explain what’s bothering her.

Lucy complains that Andy doesn’t work out, doesn’t wash his car, and doesn’t own a sports coat. That’s why she dumped Andy and started going out with Dick Tremayne. Tremayne owns a lot of coats, Lucy explains. Cooper asks Lucy if she knows what she wants. “I don’t know!” Lucy wails before running off.

Having ruined Lucy’s life, Cooper tells Harry that, even though he can’t give any specific details, he needs one of the Book House Boys. “The best one,” Cooper says. (In other words, not James.) “I’ll set it up,” Harry says, “9:30 at the Roadhouse.”

(Why do I have a feeling that Cooper’s going to show up at the Roadhouse and find Doc Hayward waiting for him? Actually, the Book House Boys are starting to remind me of the Brets from Flight of the Conchords.)

That night, at the nearly deserted Double R Diner, Norma and Hank watch as a fat man with a beard (Ritch Brinkley) walks in. “That must be him!” Norma says. The fat man orders a cheeseburger and then heads to the bathroom. Hank, proving the he really doesn’t understand how parole works, steals the man’s wallet while he’s gone. Hank quickly discovers that the bearded man is not M.T. Wentz. Instead, he’s Darryl Lodwick, the district attorney. Hank might want to return that wallet.

At another booth, Donna and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) talk. Maddy tries to apologize while Donna smokes a cigarette and glares at her. She wants to steal the diary from Harold’s house. She’ll do it with or without Maddy’s help.

As it rains outside, Harry goes to the Martell house and sees Josie. Josie tries to distract him by modeling a sexy black dress that she bought in Seattle. Being a paragon of truth and justice, Harry refuses to be distracted. He demands to know if Josie set the fire at the mill. “How could you!?” Josie responds. Josie and Harry end up making love on a couch while a mysterious Asian man watches from outside.

(M.T. Wentz, maybe?)

At the police station, as lightning flashes outside and thunder rumbles, Lucy drinks a cup of coffee. Judge Sternwood (played by Royal Dano, a veteran Western character actor) shows up at the station, followed by Harry and Cooper.

Sternwood asks how Cooper is finding Twin Peaks.

“Heaven, sir,” Cooper replies.

“Well, this week, heaven includes arson, multiple homicides, and an attempt on the life of a federal agent,” Sternwood replies.

“Heaven is a large and interesting place, sir,” Cooper says, a line which immediately made me think of Eraserhead and that radiator woman singing that, “In Heaven, everything is fine.”

Judge Sternwood and Cooper walk off and Lucy finally thinks that she can relax and drink her coffee. Suddenly, here comes Dick Tremayne (Ian Buchanan). Now, I have to say that, of all the new characters who showed up during the second season, Dick Tremayne is probably my favorite. He’s just such a salesman. Of course, he’s a jerk, too. But Ian Buchanan gives such a lively performance.

Dick says that he hasn’t slept. He hasn’t eaten. He’s been a fool. Dick has realized that he must do the right thing and that means … giving Lucy $650 for an abortion. Lucy kicks him out of the station and then locks herself in Harry’s office, loudly sobbing.

Andy escorts Leland to his meeting with the judge, only briefly stopping when he hears the distraught Lucy cry out, “OH DICK! WAS IT JUST YOUR ASCOT?!”

Judge Sternwood talks to Leland, saying that he knows Leland to be a decent man and a good attorney. Sternwood says that procedures must be observed but promises to raise a glass with Leland in Valhalla. Since Lodwick is still at the diner, the Judge decides to hold off on determining bail until the morning. Leland says that’s fine and that everyone’s being very nice to him in jail.

After Leland is escorted out, the Judge tells Harry and Cooper that they all have very difficult jobs. Maybe not as difficult as M.T. Wentz’s job but difficult nonetheless.

At the Great Northern, Ben is talking to the Lumber Queen semi-finalists while the mysterious Asian man stares at him. Ben and the Asian Man bow towards each other. The Asian man is checking into the hotel. He says that he only pays in cash and that he’s from Seattle. Oh my God, could it be M.T. Wentz!? That’s certainly what the desk clerk thinks…

Except, of course, we know that it’s not M.T. Wentz. It’s pretty obvious that the Asian man is actually Catherine Martell in disguise. It doesn’t matter how much makeup she wear or how much she lowers her voice, Piper Laurie is Piper Laurie.

At the Martell House, Josie’s cousin, Jonathan (Mark Takano), has arrives. Josie introduces him to Pete. Pete goes off to get coffee and suddenly, Jonathan sneers and says he doesn’t know how Josie survived living in Twin Peaks. Jonathan says they have to get back to Hong Kong. “Are there any complications?” Jonathan asks.

(Oh, there’s always a few. It’s Twin Peaks!)

Meanwhile, at the Roadhouse, Dale waits for the arrival of the best Book House Boy. Now, I have to admit that I was expecting either Hank or maybe M.T. Wentz to come walking through the door. Instead, it’s Harry!

“Are we in any particular hurry?” Harry asks.

“Harry, let me buy you a beer,” Dale says.

Sure, Cooper, why not? I mean, hey, IT’S NOT LIKE AUDREY’S BEEN KIDNAPPED WHILE TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT OR ANYTHING!

Seriously, what’s going on with Dale in this episode?

Hey, Cooper — remember Audrey!?

At the Double R, Hank (who apparently lives in the diner) is woken up by someone knocking on the front door. When Hank goes to answer the door, he is attacked by Jonathan. Jonathan knocks him to the floor and then says, “Blood brother. Next time, I take your head off.”

And this rather frustrating and uneven episode of Twin Peaks comes to an end.

It’s hard to know what to make of Laura’s Secret Diary. There were parts that I really liked, like the opening shot in the interrogation room and some of the humor between Andy, Lucy, and Dick. But, at the same time, you’ve got Dale acting totally out-of-character, the strangely unresolved M.T. Wentz thing, and it’s hard not to feel that Audrey Being Kidnapped is a storyline that should have been resolved in two episodes, as opposed to being dragged out for as long as it was. Audrey is too important a character to spend the first half of season 2 in a daze.

Tomorrow’s episode — The Orchid’s Kiss!

(That sounds like the title of one of the paperbacks that my sister would select for Artwork of the Day, doesn’t it?)

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TV Review: Twin Peaks 2.3 “The Man Behind The Glass” (directed by Lesli Linka Glatter)

Posted on April 12, 2017 by Jedadiah Leland

The third episode of season two opens at the hospital, where Ronette Pulaski (Pheobe Augustine) is having another freak out while Harry (Michael Ontkean), Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan), and Albert (Miguel Ferrer) look on. Someone tried to poison her IV. Cooper discovers that someone has also put a “B” under Ronette’s fingernail. Harry says that Ronette was under guard all night and there is no way that anyone could have gotten to her. Albert says, “Maybe she heard a Sousa march and got up to twirl a baton.”

Cooper reveals to Albert and Harry that he was visited twice by a giant and tells them the three clues that he was given.

“You were visited by a giant?” Harry says.

“Any relation to the dwarf?” Albert asks.

Elsewhere, Donna Hayward (Lara Flynn Boyle) goes to reclusive Harold Smith’s house and we finally meet Harold (played by Lenny Von Dohlen, who was the direct-to-video version of Anthony Perkins in the 1990s). Harold’s house is full of flowers. He explains that he used to be horticulturist but now he is a shut in. He says that he and Laura were close and that she told him everything about Donna. Donna asks why Laura never said anything about him. Harold says that Laura liked to think of him as being, “the mystery in her life.” After promising to come back and visit later, Donna leaves.

Back at the police station, Cooper is at the chalkboard again and explaining to Harry and Albert how four living people — Sarah Palmer, Ronette, Maddy, and himself — have seen the “long-haired man.” Harry is still hung up on the giant. “Did he have a booming voice?”

Albert suggests that Harry should learn how to walk without dragging his knuckles on the floor which leads to Harry grabbing Albert’s shirt and Albert declaring that he rejects violence.

“I love you, Sheriff Truman,” Albert says before leaving.

“Albert’s path is a strange and difficult one,” Cooper says. No doubt, Coop.

James (James Marshall) comes to the station. Cooper tells him that he is not being charged because the cocaine was planted and that he needs to stop hanging out around the police station.

Harry is still trying to understand what Cooper meant when he said he saw a giant when Leland (Ray Wise) finally shows up at the police station and tells them that “the long-haired man” used to live next door to his family’s summer home. His name was “Robertson” but everyone called him Bob. “One more thing,” Leland says, “he used to flick matches at me.”

At the Double R Diner, Lucy (Kimmy Robertson) is having lunch with Richard Tremayne (Ian Buchanan), who may be the father of her baby. Richard is a salesman at Horne’s Department Store and he’s so slick that smooth jazz plays whenever he enters a room. Richard and Lucy had one date, in which he promised to take her to the Seattle Space Needle but instead, took her to Pancake Plantation instead. Lucy tells Richard that she’s pregnant.

At a nearby booth, James and Maddy (Sheryl Lee) sit and talk. James is confused because he says that Donna is trying to “act tough all the time.” James says that sometimes, he thinks he should just get on his bike and go. (Maybe he has been watching old episodes of Then Came Bronson, starring tonight’s special guest star, Michael Parks.) Donna comes in the diner and sees that James and Maddy are together. Donna announces that she met Harold Smith and that he is bright and charming, “unlike anyone I know.” Then, she leaves.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, Emory and Blackie (Victoria Catlin) have tied up Audrey (Sherilyn Fenn). Blackie is going to hold Audrey hostage and demand a ransom from Ben Horne.

Back at the police station, the One-Armed Man, Mr. Gerard (Al Strobel), is showing Harry his latest selection in shoes. Gerard blanks out for a minute and says that he sometimes gets disoreintated. Harry goes to get Gerard a glass of water and runs into Shelly Johnson (Madchen Amick). Cooper wants to talk to her about Leo and the fire at the mill but Shelly says she can’t testify against her husband. Laying on the charm, Cooper tells her that is okay and then sends her out of the office. He says the Shelly wants to get Leo’s life insurance and that she didn’t “think up this scheme by herself.”

But what about Laura Palmer!? Isn’t that what Cooper is supposed to be investigating?

Cooper goes to the Great Northern and asks Ben Horne (Richard Beymer) if he knows where Audrey is. Ben says that Audrey is missing but he does not seem to be to worried about it.

At One-Eyed Jack’s, tonight’s special guest star, Michael Parks, shows up. He is playing Jean Reanault, the brother of Jacques Renault. Blackie explains, to Emory, that Jean will act as their go-between with Ben. In return for 30% of the ransom, Jean will pretend to be the one who has kidnapped Audrey. Jean also demands that Agent Cooper, who he blames for the death of Jacques, be brought to him. Jean gives Audrey a shot of something. I had forgotten that Jean and Blackie kept Audrey drugged at One-Eyed Jack’s. I hope it’s not heroin because I don’t know if I can handle Twin Peaks turning into The French Connection Part II.

Michael Parks, like Russ Tamblyn and Richard Beymer, was one of many 1960s teen idols to be cast in Twin Peaks. Long before Tarantino has even made his first film, Lynch was resurrecting the careers of forgotten actors. If it’s thanks to Tarantino and, not Lynch, that Michael Parks is currently having a career renaissance, that’s because Michael Parks, quite frankly, lousy on Twin Peaks. Parks is much more convincing as Earl McGraw than he ever was as the French Canadian Jean Renault.

At the police station, Cooper wants to take a break and drink a cup of coffee but Harry is having a crisis because Josie is coming back to Twin Peaks tomorrow and he is worried about having to interrogate her about the fire at the mill. Harry also mentions that the One-Armed Man came by the station to sell shoes.

“The One-Armed man was here!?” Cooper says.

“Yeah,” Harry shrugs.

“Remember, in my dream,” Cooper explains, “the One-Armed Man knew BOB.”

Good point Cooper. Why wouldn’t Harry have told Cooper that the One-Armed Man was at the station? Are they even trying to catch Laura’s killer anymore? Even Deputy Hawk gives Harry a “You fucked up” look.

Going to the men’s room and searching for the One-Armed Man, Cooper comes across a hypodermic needle. “Without chemicals, he points,” Cooper says, “The Giant’s third clue. Harry, we’ve got to find the One-Armed Man.”

(Too bad that they had the One-Armed Man and then Harry let him wander off. Albert may have a point.)

At the hospital, the comatose Nadine (Wendy Robie) has been tied down. Dr. Hayward (Warren Frost) tells Ed (Everett McGill) that Nadine now has Hulk-like super strength. “She’s pumping out more adrenaline than a wildcat well,” Hayward explains.

Following the doctor’s advice, Ed sings “On top of Old Smokey” to her. (I was waiting for James to come in with his guitar and provide accompaniment but I guess he was busy with Maddy.) Ed singing causes Nadine to wake up and rip off her restraints. “Good God!” Ed says. Nadine does a cheer, because she now thinks that she and Ed are in high school and she is looking forward to cheerleader tryouts.

In his hospital room, Dr. Jacoby (Russ Tamblyn) is getting a foot massage from his Hawaiian wife, Eoloni, when Cooper and Harry drop by so that they can hypnotize him. Jacoby is so good at hypnosis that he hypnotizes himself. He flashes back to the murder of Jacques Renault and says that he knows the killer.

While this is happening, Donna puts some flowers (provided by Harold) on Laura’s grave. Donna talks to the dead Laura. Lara Flynn Boyle knocks her emotional monologue out of the park.

Of course, while Donna is pouring out her heart, James is kissing Maddy. Donna walks in on them and then runs out on them. James runs after her, screaming, “WHY!?”

Maddy goes to Leland for comfort but then Harry and Cooper show up and announce that Leland is under arrest. For killing Laura? No, for killing Jacques Renault.

Donna goes to Harold Smith and tells him about James and Maddy. Harold gives her a gift, the secret diary of Laura Palmer.

There is a classic episode of The Simpsons, in which the producers of Itchy and Scratchy become concerned that their show has become stale and uninteresting. To bring in new fans, they create the character of Poochie the Dog and, of course, they hire Homer to play him. Poochie has no real personality or reason for being on the show. He is just a mix of things that television executives think will appeal to their audience.

In Poochie’s first episode, Itchy and Scratchy are driving to the fireworks factory when they see Poochie standing on the side of the road. They pull over. “It’s our new friend, Poochie!” Poochie introduces himself and suddenly, the entire cartoon becomes about Poochie. Itchy and Scratchy are pushed to the side while Poochie sings, dances, raps, and plays basketball.

Watching the cartoon, Milhouse cries out, “When are they going to get to the fireworks factory!?”

That is probably how many viewers of Twin Peaks felt as they watched the second season. They had gotten wrapped up in the show. They had come up with their own theories about who killed Laura. All they wanted to know was who killed Laura Palmer and yet the show refused to tell them. Instead, it kept getting distracted by other things.

That is certainly the case with “The Man Behind The Glass.” While this episodes does do a lot to push the story and the mystery forward, it also gets sidetracked by a lot of subplots — like Jean Renault, Nadine thinking she was a teenager, and Lucy’s pregnancy — that are far less compelling than the mystery that has always been at the heart of Twin Peaks.

Who killed Laura Palmer?