Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The entire series can be found on YouTube!
This week, we meet Johnny Ventura!
Episode 2.22 “Wedding Bell Blues”
(Dir by Jorge Montesi, originally aired on May 15th, 1989)
With Ryan and Jack out of town, it falls to Micki to retrieve a cursed pool cue stick. Helping her out, despite all of her attempts to convince him to get lost, is Johnny Ventura (Steve Monarque), a friend of Ryan’s who Ryan hired to help search for the cue stick. Even after Johnny finds out that the item has been cursed by Satan and Micki’s entire life currently revolves around supernatural violence, Johnny wants to not only help out but to also stick around, just because he likes Micki. Micki might want to tell him about all of her previous boyfriends who have all died as a result of getting involved in the search for cursed antiques.
I understand that Johnny is going to eventually replace Ryan on the show, starting with the third season. This episode isn’t particularly subtle about setting Johnny up as a Ryan substitute, though Johnny’s crush on Micki is a bit less cringey than Ryan’s. (Ryan is Micki’s cousin, which is something that the show often seems to overlook.) Johnny is established as being a cocky guy who is willing to break the rules. In other words, he’s just like every other guy who has ever been a lead character on a show like this. One of the stranger things about Johnny is that everyone keeps referring to him as being a “kid,” even though he looks like he’s older than just about everyone else on the show.
As for the cursed pool cue, it belongs to Jennifer (Elizabeth Maclellan), a waitress at a seedy bar. She wants to marry Danny (Louis Ferreira), a self-centered pool player who treats her terribly. Jennifer is convinced that Danny is just worried about winning the upcoming pool tournament so she impales people with the cursed pool cue. Each time Jennifer kills someone, the next game that Danny plays is his best ever. Jennifer is slightly sympathetic because she’s convinced that Danny will marry her right after he wins the tournament and she’s too insecure to see what a cad he is. (She’s also pregnant, though Danny doesn’t know it.) When Jennifer’s sister (played, in a very early role, by Lolita Davidovich) says that Danny is never going to marry her, Jennifer refuses to believe it. When Jennifer discovers that her sister is sleeping with Danny, Jennifer has found her next victim.
It’s really not that interesting of a curse but then again, this episode is more concerned with introducing the character of Johnny Ventura than with anything else. Unfortunately, at least in this episode, Johnny really isn’t that compelling of a character. This was a bit of a disappointing episode but who knows? Maybe Johnny Ventura will grow on me.
Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Friday the 13th: The Series, a show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on YouTube!
This week, the second season beings with the return of Uncle Lewis!
(For a dead guy, Lewis sure does return a lot.)
Episode 2.1 “Doorway to Hell”
(Dir by William Fruet, originally aired on September 26th, 1988)
The second season begins in much the same way that the first one ended, with Uncle Lewis (played, as always, be R.G. Armstrong) trying to re-enter the world of the living.
This time, he’s doing it through mirrors. According to Jack, a mirror that “witnesses” an occult ceremony becomes a doorway to the dark realms that sit between Heaven and Hell. Lewis lives in the dark realms and, since he was a big fan of mirrors, his reflection occasionally appears in the a mirror at Curious Goods. When Micki and Ryan find evidence that Lewis owned a house, they ignore Jack’s warning and go to investigate on their own.
They discover that the decrepit house is being used as a hideout by Buddy (Charle Landry) and Eddie (Louis Ferreira), two criminals who have just held up a gas station and killed an attendant. Buddy wants to go straight and was pretty much coerced into taking part in the robbery. Eddie, on the other hand, is a total psychopath who ties up both Micki and Ryan and laughs when they try to warn him about Uncle Lewis.
The house, not surprisingly, is full of mirrors and soon, Buddy gets sucked into one of them. When Buddy returns to the house, he’s possessed and shooting electricity from his fingertips. He kills Eddie and then chases Ryan and Micki around both the house and the dark realms.
Jack and his friend Rashid (Elias Zarou) watch all of this reflected in a shard of reflective glass that they found at the antique store. Whenever things start to get really exciting or scary at the mansion, we cut to Jack and Rashid staring at shard of glass and saying, “Get out of there, Ryan!”
Eventually, Jack goes to the house, enters the dark realms and distracts Lewis long enough for Ryan and Micki to destroy all of the mirrors in the house. Jack manages to escape just in time, Buddy apparently become unpossessed and the ghost of Uncle Lewis declares that he will return. Lewis’s constant shouts of “I’ll be back” are such a cliche that they can’t help but be a bit charming, especially since R.G. Armstrong always seems to be having so much fun chewing the scenery whenever he shows up as Lewis.
The second season premiere did an effective job of reminding old viewers and informing new viewers about what the show was about. The haunted house was an effectively creepy location and the dark realms were nicely atmospheric. I do wish that the premiere had not once again deployed the tired idea of Micki and Ryan ignoring Jack’s warning about impulsively investigating something on their own. I mean, that has never worked out for them. You would think that Ryan and Micki would have learned the lesson by now. Otherwise, this episode got the second season off to a good start.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, Terri and Turner take down the loathsome head of a halfway house.
Episode 3.3 “Halfway to Nowhere”
(Dir by Don McCutcheon, originally aired January 20th, 1990)
Roman (Louis Ferreira) is an angry young man who is on parole and who has been living at a halfway house that is run by Eddy (Danny Pawlick). When Roman discovers that Eddy has been harassing Roman’s girlfriend, Sissy (Krista Bridges), Roman attacks Eddy. Eddy kicks Roman out of the halfway house and attempts to have him sent back to prison.
Terri just happens to be in the police station when Roman is brought in and, just like Amy used to do before her mysterious disappearance, Terri declares herself to be Roman’s attorney. (One gets the feeling that the show’s producers just crossed out Amy’s name on a bunch of scripts and wrote in “Terri.”) Roman turns out to be a terrible client who refuses to talk to anyone, including the attorney who is trying to keep him out of jail. Terri finally calls up T.S. Turner and asks him for help.
Turner’s reaction is to growl about how late it is.
Seriously, what’s going on with Turner this season? He’s in an even worse mood than usual. Maybe he’s mad because Amy has mysteriously vanished without explanation. After all, Turner owed Amy. Amy was the one who got him out of prison. It made sense that Turner would always be willing to drop everything to help out Amy. Terri is just some random lawyer who has shown up out of nowhere.
Terri, it should be said, is not a very good lawyer. At the parole hearing, she puts Eddy on the stand and asks him a bunch of questions, despite not having a clue as to how Eddy is going to respond. She also dramatically announces that she will be calling Sissy as a witness before she knows whether or not Sissy has agreed to testify. When Turner steps into the courtroom without Sissy and shakes his head because Sissy refuses to testify, Terri is forced to walk back her words. I doubt that parole board appreciated that and they probably took their frustration out on Terri’s client.
In the end, Sissy does agree to wear a wire and Eddy stupidly talks about all the crimes that he’s committed as the head of a halfway house. Eddy ends up getting arrested and Sissy and Roman are reunited briefly. That said, it appears that Roman is still going to go back to jail because Terri is a terrible attorney.
On the plus side, this episode featured one of the most loathsome villains to ever show up on T&T and it was satisfying to watch Terri and Turner take him down. On the other hand, it would have been even more satisfying if Terri wasn’t terrible at her job and if Turner didn’t seem to be annoyed by even having to be in her presence. This episode was a mixed bag but at least it looked like Eddy was going away for a long time.
Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing T. and T., a Canadian show which ran in syndication from 1987 to 1990. The show can be found on Tubi!
This week, T.S. Turner confronts the man who framed him!
Episode 1.3 “Settling the Score”
(Dir by Allan Goldstein, originally aired on January 25th, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T tells us before the opening credits, “a young boxer is accused of throwing a fight. While Amy tries help him clear his name, I get a rematch with the man who sent me to prison.”
The episode opens with T.S. Turner in a very polite Canadian bar, watching a boxing match. He’s shocked when the favored boxer, “Dancin'” Joe (Louis Ferreira), starts to act groggy and is knocked out in the 2nd round. The next day, at the courthouse, people are talking about how Joe obviously took a dive. Amy, however, is busy keeping her latest clients out of jail.
Amy then asks T.S. about Dancin’ Joe’s boxing lisence. T.S. reveals that the Commission suspended Dancin’ Joe and now they’re after his friend Decker because Dancin’ Joe trained at Decker’s gym.
“They’re after his lisence, too?” Amy asks.
“No one gets away clean,” T.S. growls.
T.S. thinks that Dancin’ Joe was forced to take a dive by Targon (Steven Makaj), the same gangster who earlier framed T.S. for the beating death of his manager. T.S. confronts Targon in his bar. (All gangsters have a bar.)
“A little far from home, aren’t you, Turner?” Targon says.
“Yeah,” T.S. replies, “and traveling don’t improve my temper …. I know you got to Dancin’ Joe. But this time, you’re going down! Last night’s fix makes it a whole new ball game.”
(Really, the main pleasure of T. and T. is listening to Mr. T speak.)
Back at the gym, a bruised Dancin’ Joe shows up to tell Decker and T.S. that he didn’t throw the fight. According to Dancin’ Joe, he suddenly started to feel woozy during the fight. Maybe Amy can help him get his license back!
This leads to a scene of T.S. Turner, shadowboxing while wearing a pink jumpsuit, and having flashbacks to the time that Targon demanded that he take a dive. “T.S. Turner ain’t going in the tank!” T.S. declared before knocking out his opponent. Targon framed T.S. for murdering his trainer. (Fortunately, Amy was there to somehow get a second trial and win T.S. an acquittal.)
Turner starts to investigate the Dancin’ Joe’s fight so Targon decides to stop T.S. by …. framing him for a crime he didn’t commit! (Hey, it worked before.) Targon’s goon beats up Dancin’ Joe’s cornerman and Targon’s bartender calls the police and claims that he witnessed T.S. doing it. Learning that there is a new warrant out for his arrest, T.S. hits the mean streets of Canada in an attempt to clear his name.
Luckily, the cornerman survived his beating and he informs T.S. that Targon put some sort of drug on Dancin’ Joe’s mouthpiece. T.S. gets the mouthpiece from Decker, holds it up to his nose, and announces, “What they used, it don’t smell.” Amy then shows up to tell T.S. that he needs to turn himself in and that the reports from the lab prove that Dancin’ Joe was drugged. T.S. flees from the gym so he can track down the bartender who claimed to see him beating up the cornerman.
Because there’s only five minutes left in the episode, Targon and his men suddenly show up at the gym and take Decker and Amy hostage. Fortunately, T.S. decides to come back to the gym and he rather easily beats up all of Targon’s men and Targon himself!
“Stop, T.S.,” Amy says, “Leave Targon for the law.”
“Look at me!” T.S. shouts at Targon, “I want you to see what’s coming!” T.S. then runs his finger across his throat, allowing Targon to know that he will be heading to one of Canada’s prisons. Fortunately, for Targon, Canada has no death penalty.
With Targon captured, Dancin’ Joe gets to fight again and T.S. makes peace with Detective Jones (Ken James), the man who arrested him years ago and who has always doubted his innocence.
“I’m never going to change,” the Detective says.
“Neither am I,” T.S. growls.
Woo hoo! You tell ’em, T.S!
Episode 1.4 “Stowaway”
(Dir by Allen Kroeker, originally aired on February 1st, 1988)
“In this episode,” Mr. T says, “A runway kid has to grow up quickly when his friendship is tested and life depends on the outcome.”
“You know, when I was small,” T.S. says, “I used to think about running away also, but I didn’t realize my mother was doing the best she could with what she had.” T.S. delivers these lines from a hospital bed, which is where he spends most of this episode. While searching for a runaway named Fabian (Sean Roberge), T.S. got hit on the back of the head by a group of smugglers, temporarily taking him out of action.
Indeed, the majority of this episode is dominated not by T.S. Turner and Amy Taler but instead by Captain Grayson (played by the episode’s special guest star, Don Stroud). Captain Grayson is the captain of a boat that transports goods to South America. Fabian befriended Captain Grayson when he went to the docks to draw pictures. When Fabian runs away from home because he wants to go to sea with Captain Grayson, he discovers that Grayson is smuggling guns.
“People need those guns,” Grayson explains.
“Guns hurt people!” Fabian yells.
Anyway, Grayson is a good-hearted smuggler but his boss is not. Grayson is ordered to keep Fabian on the boat and to drop him off somewhere in South America. However, Grayson feels very guilty about this and Don Stroud, who is probably best-remembered for playing the convict who Clint Eastwood tracked to New York in Coogan’s Bluff, does a really good job of portraying Grayson’s inner conflict. Grayson finally decides to let Fabian go home. At the same time, T.S. Turner sneaks out of his hospital bed and rescues Fabian from the other smugglers, none of whom are as good-hearted as Grayson.
“If you really want to make your mother proud of you,” T.S. tells Fabian, “stay in school, get a good education, learn to become an architect, and never run away again.” T.S. also convinces Fabian to forgive Grayson for holding him prisoner. “Little brother, that man cares for you.”
These were two good episodes of T. and T. Yes, the plots were predictable but the appeal of this show is listening to Mr. T talk and sound like Mr. T. And Mr. T does a lot of talking in these two episodes.
Through the Shattered Lens 