Tag Archives: Lifetime

Cleaning Out The DVR #13: Break-Up Nightmare (dir by Mark Quod)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

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After I tried to watch Bad Sister, the next film on my DVR was Break-Up Nightmare, a film which premiered on Lifetime on March 6th.

Break-Up Nightmare is a film from The Asylum, the same wonderful people who have given us the Sharknado films, Wuthering High School, and Santa Claws.  As I’ve made clear on this site, I absolutely love Asylum films.  Though their films may be low-budget, they’re often more entertaining than the big budget epics that are released by the major studios.  Full of inside jokes and deliberately over-the-top storylines, Asylum films are the perfect party movies.  These are movies that demand to be seen with a group of your closest and snarkiest friends.  Needless to say, when Break-Up Nightmare opened with that “The Asylum presents…” credit, I was excited.

Break-Up Nightmare is actually a little bit more serious than your typical Asylum film but then again, it’s not about flying sharks or talking kittens.  Instead, Break-Up Nightmare deals with a serious subject.  Or, I should say, at the least first 45 minutes deal with a serious subject.

Recent high school graduate Rachel (Celesta DeAstis) is taking a year off before going to college, mostly so she can work and actually be able to afford to go to the best music school possible.  Her jerky jock boyfriend, Troy (Mark Grossman), has received a football scholarship and will be leaving in the fall.  However, before Mark leaves, he convinces Rachel to pose for some pictures (yep, those type of pictures) so he won’t forget her while he’s away.  Rachel later asks him to delete the pictures but soon discovers that Troy didn’t do so.  She also discovers that Troy has been getting texts from another girl and she dumps him.  When Troy starts to get belligerent, Rachel’s mother — Barbara (Jennifer Dorogi) — kicks him out of the house.

Free of Troy, Rachel looks forward to getting on with her life.  Except, of course, people are looking at her strangely.  At work, scummy frat boys show up and ask her provocative questions.  At the movies, a creepy middle-aged man sits down behind her and asks, “How’s it going?”  Finally, Rachel’s best friend, Ryan (Freeman Lyon), shows her a revenge porn site called LifeRuinerz.com.  On the site, Rachel sees the pictures that Troy took of her.

Rachel’s life starts to spiral out of control as, apparently, everyone in the world has either seen the picture or heard about them.  When she goes to the police, she’s told that the cops are busy solving real crimes and don’t have time to help someone who voluntarily posed for smutty pictures.  At church, the sermon is about the dangers of lust and a judgmental old woman glares at Rachel and tells her that she should dress more modestly.  (Been there.)  Someone breaks into the house and spray paints “Whore” on the garage door.  When Barbara demands that the site remove her daughter’s pictures, she soon finds that her face has been photoshopped into a pornographic image and she loses her teaching job.

And, through it all, Troy continues to deny having put the pictures on the site.  It’s easy to suspect Troy because he’s such a jerk but then suddenly, he’s arrested on child pornography charges.  Rachel only has to look at one picture to realize that, just as happened to Barbara, Troy’s face has been photoshopped onto someone else.  But if Troy isn’t the one responsible, who is?

Meanwhile, pervs across the world are sitting in front of their laptops and watching Barbara undress, the result of a hidden webcam that someone has placed in the house…

So, Break-Up Nightmare starts out as a fairly serious look at revenge porn and it actually makes a lot of important points, the big one being that the whole “pay us and we’ll remove your picture” thing is a scam.  There were certain parts of Break-Up Nightmare that hit close to home and made me cringe because, quite frankly, we’ve all been there and we’ve all done things without considering the consequences.  But, of course, this is an Asylum Film and, once the important lessons have been taught, the film goes totally batshit crazy in that way that we all love.  Suddenly, the film isn’t just about revenge porn.  It’s about a diabolical stalker who has come up with a needlessly complicated scheme to accomplish a single goal.

And you know what?

We wouldn’t expect or want anything less from either The Asylum or Lifetime.  All you people who complain about plausibility or plot holes, you can go watch another network and think about how you’ve got it all figure out.  It’s the implausible melodrama that makes a movie like Break-Up Nightmare fun.

That said, the main reason I liked Break-Up Nightmare was because of the very realistic and truthful depiction of the loving, protective, and occasionally testy relationship between Barbara and Rachel.  Jennifer Dorogi and Celesta DeAstis were totally believable as mother and daughter.  Barbara may have been overprotective but she was also not going to let anyone get away with hurting her daughter.  Barbara basically spent the entire movie kicking ass and it was a lot of fun to watch.

Go Barbara!

Go Asylum!

Go Break-up Nightmare.

Cleaning Out The DVR #12: Bad Sister (dir by Doug Campbell)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

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Last night, after I finished with Going My Way, I decided to stick with the Catholic theme by rewatching Bad Sister.  Bad Sister aired on Lifetime on January 3rd.  Having seen several wonderfully sordid commercials, I watched it and I loved every minute of it.  I was really looking forward to watching it again but apparently, there was some sort of screw-up with my usually ultra-dependable DVR.  It only recorded bits and pieces of Bad Sister.

I was so disappointed!  Fortunately, however, I still remember Bad Sister well enough to review it.  For instance, who could forget this scene?

Okay, technically, that was a scene from the episode of King of the Hill where Peggy pretends to be a nun so she can get a job teaching at a Catholic school.  (“Sister Peggy, will my cat go to heaven?”  “Well, I’ve heard that all dogs go to Heaven so I’m pretty sure that cats do not.”)  For whatever reason, I couldn’t find any Bad Sister clips on YouTube but really, the movie has pretty much the same plot.  It’s just, in the case of the movie, the fake nun is also a sociopath who starts to obsess on one of her students.

From the minute Sister Sophia (Alyshia Osche) shows up at her new job as a teacher at a Catholic boarding school, it’s obvious that she’s not like the other nuns.  For one thing, she’s awfully enthusiastic about her students, especially the male ones.  Plus, there’s not many nuns who specifically make it a point to strip down to sexy red lingerie while being watched by a teenage boy.  Even beyond that, Sophia refuses to take part in Morning Prayer and she doesn’t seem to know much about … well, anything Catholic.  Is Sister Sophia just young and naive or is it possible that she’s actually an escaped mental patient named Laura?  And could it be that, perhaps at the start of the movie, Laura murdered the real Sister Sophia and stole her identity?

Well, this is a Lifetime movie so, of course, that’s exactly what happened!

As a result of seeing him sing on YouTube, Sister Sophia is obsessed with Jason (Devon Werkheiser, the star of Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide, all grown up).  Jason’s a student who dreams of being the next Justin Bieber.  However, to get to Jason, Sister Sophia has to deal with not only Jason’s girlfriend (Sloane Avery) but also Jason’s suspicious sister, Zoe (Ryan Newman).  And, of course, there’s Sister Rebecca (Helen Eigenberg), another nun who is starting to suspect that Sophia might not be who she says she is…

Bad Sister was a totally over-the-top masterpiece of Lifetime moviemaking.  Director Doug Campbell is one of my favorite Lifetime directors and he doesn’t disappoint with Bad Sister, playing up the sordid melodrama while, at the same time, never making the mistake of taking this story too seriously.  Alyshia Osche was brilliant as Sister Sophia.  One of the most entertaining parts of the film was watching her switch back and forth from being the enthusiastic Sister Sophia and the perpetually annoyed Laura.  (Just watch the scene where she goes through the real Sister Sophia’s stuff and discovers the boring, dowdy underwear that she’s expected to wear.  The look of total and thorough annoyance that flashes across her face is absolutely brilliant acting on Osche’s part and, within seconds, totally and completely defines the character of Laura/Sister Sophia.)

Bad Sister was the first great Lifetime film of 2016!  Keep an eye out for it.

(I should add that you probably don’t have to come from a Catholic background to enjoy Bad Sister.  But it definitely helps!)

Cleaning Out The DVR #9: Abducted: The Jocelyn Shaker Story (dir by Conor Allyn)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

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Last night, as a part of my continuing effort to watch 38 movies in 10 days, I watched Abducted: The Jocylen Shaker Story.  Abducted originally aired February 14th on Lifetime.  That’s right — this movie premiered on Valentine’s Day!  I was in San Antonio when it aired, enjoying a romantic night down on the Riverwalk, so I missed the original showing.  Fortunately, the DVR saves all.

And really, Abducted is a strange movie to show on Valentine’s Day.  It’s not a romantic film at all.  Instead, it’s a missing child thriller.  Caitlin Shaker (Kathleen Rose Perkins) is an American who has married a wealthy Colombian businessman, Javier (Kamar de los Reyes).  While Caitlin and Javier are visiting a resort in the rain forest, their daughter, Jocelyn, vanishes.

Suddenly, Caitlyn and Javier find themselves suspected of having done something to Jocelyn.  Though one Colombian detective, Susanna (Eileen Roca Torralva), believes that Caitlin is innocent, she is ignored by her sexist superiors.  The head of the investigation, Captain Rojas (Luis Fernando Hoyos), declares that Javier must be guilty and has him arrested for murder.

Caitlin knows that her husband is innocent but she can’t convince anyone to help her look for her child.  The Colombian authorities want to close the case as quickly as possible.  The American media declares that, even if they are innocent, Caitlin and Javier are still to be blamed for taking Jocelyn to a foreign country in the first place.

Eventually, only Susanna is willing to help Caitlin investigate Jocelyn’s disappearance…

The best thing about Abducted is that it gives Kathleen Rose Perkins a starring role.  If you’ve ever seen the Showtime series Episodes, you will immediately recognize Perkins from her role as the wonderfully neurotic and often stoned network executive, Carol Rance.  Episodes is a fairly terrible show but Perkins has always been one of the few bright spots.  In Abducted, she really throws herself into the role of Caitlin, delivering her lines with an emotional intensity that always feels authentic and real.   She is totally sympathetic in the role and elevates the entire film.

As for the film itself, it starts out as your standard Lifetime abduction film but the final 15 minutes, after the real villain has been revealed and Caitlin and Susanna are trying to rescue Jocelyn while rain pours around them, are exciting and well-executed.  It helps that Perkins gives such a great performance that she makes even the most melodramatic and heavy-handed dialogue sound totally and completely credible.  You won’t necessarily be surprised when you discover who the real villains is but you’ll still be happy to see them get their comeuppance.

(Comeuppance … that’s a strange word, no?)

Finally, Abducted was shot on location in Colombia.  Reportedly, the Colombian government has been trying to attract filmmakers, with the hope of changing the country’s international image.  Colombia is a beautiful country and Abducted takes full advantage of all that breathtaking scenery.

Cleaning Out The DVR #8: Kruel (dir by Robert Henderson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, after I finished The More The Merrier and watched the latest episodes of Dance Moms and The People vs. OJ Simpson, I returned to the DVR and watched one more movie that I had recorded off of Lifetime.  Kruel (which was broadcast with the slightly altered name of Cruel) is a dark little horror thriller.  It is memorable for featuring the world’s creepiest ice cream man.  (That’s him in the picture above.)

Now, when I say that Kruel was a dark film, I don’t just mean that it was thematically disturbing, though it certainly was.  Instead, what I mean is that, at times, the film was literally dark!  A good deal of the film took place either at night or in unlit rooms and there were more than a few scenes that took place in complete darkness.  During those scenes, the screen was totally black and the only way you knew that there was still a film going on was because you could hear the characters running around and screaming.  It was an interesting technique, one that was occasionally effective and occasionally annoying.

As for the film itself, it tells the story of Jo (Kierney Nelson), a teenage girl who, after he confesses to cheating on her, breaks up with her dumbass boyfriend, Ben (Dakota Morrissey).  In order to deal with her depression, Jo devotes almost all of her time to babysitting.  However, it would probably be a lot easier for Jo to do her job if not for the fact that, every few seconds, an ice cream truck comes rolling down the road.  The ice cream truck is being driven by Willie (J.T. Chinn) and wow, is Willie ever creepy!  It’s not just the makeup though, seriously, that would have terrified me when I was little.  (It would still make me go, “Agck!” today.)  It’s also the fact that Willie and his truck always seem to be nearby.  Almost as if he’s stalking Jo…

When one of the kids that Jo babysits disappears, she knows that Willie kidnapped him.  When the police ignore her, Jo decides to track down Willie herself.  Volunteering to help is none other than dumbass Ben.  Can Ben help to rescue the child while also repairing his relationship with Jo?  Will Jo ever be able to forgive him for cheating on her?  And will Willie ever take off his makeup…

Well, actually, I can go ahead and answer one of those questions without spoiling the movie.  Willie does take off his makeup when he’s home and, in fact, he spends the majority of the movie not wearing any makeup at all.  And, though I’m sure some horror fans would disagree with me on this, I think that’s the right decision for the story that Kruel is trying to tell.  It’s definitely more realistic to have Willie look normal (well, normalish) when he’s just hanging out around his house.  And, when it comes to a film like this, it’s good to try to keep things a little bit realistic.  When Kruel is effective, it’s because it makes you wonder what you would do if you ever found yourself in the same situation.  When the film is realistic, it makes you wonder if you could survive.  If Willie never took off the makeup, he would be too cartoonish to be a real threat.

Despite being a low-budget film and featuring a few noticeably amateurish performances, Kruel has a nightmare-like intensity that serves it well.  (The film features a throat slashing that, even though darky lit, is one of the most graphic things that I’ve ever seen on Lifetime.)  J.T. Chinn is properly creepy as Willie and Kierney Nelson totally commits to the role of Jo, turning her into a sympathetic and compelling heroine.

Keep an eye out for Kruel.

(And Willie too…)

Cleaning Out The DVR #3: My Sweet Audrina (dir by Mike Rohl)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

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After I finished watching The Bridge on The River Kwai, I decided to watch a more recent film that was on my DVR.  I selected My Sweet Audrina, a film that made its debut, this January, on Lifetime.  Would My Sweet Audrina prove to be as good a film as The Bridge on the River Kwai?  Read on to find out…

I have to admit that, despite my well-known love for over-the-top Lifetime melodrama, I was not particularly enthusiastic about watching My Sweet Audrina.  Though I missed the film when it was originally broadcast, I did see the commercials leading up to it.  “From the author of Flowers In The Attic,” the commercials announced, which led me to believe that My Sweet Audrina would be yet another installment in the Flowers saga.  And don’t get me wrong — I enjoyed Flowers In The Attic and I thought If There Be Thorns had some good moments but, after four movies about that messed up, incestuous family, I was ready to move on.

However, once I started watching the film, I quickly discovered that — despite some definite similarities — My Sweet Audrina has nothing to do with Flowers in the Attic.  True, it does deal with family secrets and sexual repression and a young woman who is never allowed to leave her family’s Victorian mansion but other than that, it has absolutely nothing to do with Flowers In the Attic.

Audrina (India Eisley) believes that she is nine years old but she is actually a teenager.  She spends almost all of her time isolated from the rest of the world.  Her father (James Tupper) refuses to let Audrina interact with the outside world, convinced that she will suffer the same fate that happened to a mysterious figure known as “the first Audrina.”  Audrina’s older sister, Vera (Toni Atkins), is jealous of the attention that their father devotes to Audrina.  She deals with her anger by intentionally injuring herself and having sex with everyone she meets and then taunting the repressed Audrina with the details.  When a handsome piano teacher shows up to give her lessons, Audrina is ashamed when she feels attracted to him and then is angered when Vera steals him away.

Fortunately for Audrina, a very understanding neighbor named Arden Lowe (William Moseley) has fallen for in love with her.  (In what world does a handsome young man fall in love with a strange girl who has no friends, no understanding of the world, and is totally terrified of sex?  The world of Lifetime, of course!)  However, even after marrying Arden, Audrina is still haunted by disturbing nightmares and is incapable of enjoying sex.

Of course, it all comes down to the mystery of what happened to the first Audrina.  And fear not!  All questions are eventually answered.  Of course, the answers don’t really make any sense but I guess that’s kind of the point.  The melodrama of My Sweet Audrina is so pure and unapologetically over the top that it doesn’t have to follow any logic other than its own.

Visually, My Sweet Audrina follows the lushly gothic pattern previously established by Flowers In The Attic.  The sets are elaborate, the clothes are to die for (even Audrina’s supposedly drab outfits have a definite flair to the,), and all of the performers are nice to look at.  India Eisley does a good job as Audrina but, for me, Toni Atkins stole the entire film as the obsessively self-destructive Vera.

For lovers of over-the-top melodrama, My Sweet Audrina is a lot of fun.

And if you’re not a lover of over-the-top melodrama … well, then you probably wouldn’t be watching Lifetime in the first place!

(But, to answer the question I asked at the start of this review, My Sweet Audrina is not as good as The Bridge on The River Kwai.  But it’s still pretty entertaining!)

Cleaning Out The DVR: The Wrong Car (dir by John Stimpson)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Wrong Car

Ever since the start of this month, I have been cleaning out my DVR and I am happy to say that I’ve managed to go from only having 9 hours of space available to now having 17 hours.  Progress is a wonderful thing!

Last night, I decided, after watching Picnic, to take a two-hour break from watching movies that I had recorded off of TCM.  Instead, I watched a film that I recorded off of Lifetime way back in January, The Wrong Car.

If you’ve watched enough Lifetime movies, you know that there are three things that all Lifetime movies distrust: men, teenagers, and technology.  The Wrong Car doesn’t feature any teenagers but it does feature some really bad men who use technology to do some really bad things.  In the past, Lifetime has exposed the dangers of Facebook, Match.com, twitter, and YouTube.  With this movie, they take on Uber.

Except, of course, they don’t actually call it Uber.  Instead, they call it “NetCar.”  But it’s totally Uber.

Trudy (Danielle Savre) is a law student who doesn’t have much of a social life because she is always either too busy studying or arguing that criminals can be reformed.  Her best friend, Gretchen (Francia Raisa), is constantly begging her to go out and have a good time but Trudy refuses.  (Isn’t that always the role of a best friend in a Lifetime movie?)  Finally, Gretchen is somehow able to convince Trudy to go to a club with her.  However, Trudy get bored and decides to leave.  Standing outside the club, she calls for a NetCar.

Usually, whenever Trudy uses NetCar, her driver is another law student named Charles (Kevin G. Cox).  However, this time, she doesn’t know the driver.  However, she still gets in the car and accepts his offer of bottled water.  The next thing that Trudy knows, she’s waking up naked in a totally sleazy motel.

With the police unable to help, Trudy takes matters into her own hands.  In this case, that means that she decides to become a NetCar driver herself.  She now spends her time driving around the city, looking for the man who raped her.  Along the way, she lectures two women about proper car safety, deals with an angry but later helpful criminal, and meets a cute investment manager (Jackson Davis).

She also has flashbacks to her rape and these are pure nightmare fuel.  The man who assaulted her is frequently seeing wearing a giant baby mask, much like the one pictured below:

Technically, the scene above is from Terry Gilliam’s 1985 dystopian satire Brazil.  But it’s the same baby mask!  AGCK!

To be honest, though, the entire film is nightmare fuel.  The Wrong Car is one of the few genuinely disturbing Lifetime films that I’ve ever seen because it does get at some very important truths.  We all give out way too much information about ourselves to total strangers.  And, much like Trudy, I probably would have gotten into that NetCar and drank that bottled water.  Nobody wants to spend their life paranoid but The Wrong Car suggests that perhaps a little paranoia might be justified.

Director John Stimpson fills the screen with shadowy and menacing images while Danielle Savre does an excellent job in the sometimes difficult role of Trudy.  The entire film is well-cast, with Rhett Kidd turning in a memorable performance in the small role of the world’s sleaziest desk clerk.  And that baby mask … at the risk of repeating myself, AGCK!

The Wrong Car is definitely a Lifetime film to keep an eye out for.

Film Review: Suicide Note (dir by Jake Helgren)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(While this review is meant to be a rather breezy look at a minor Lifetime movie, it’s totally possible that you may have come across this review because you’re feeling suicidal yourself.  Maybe you googled, “suicide note.”  Please, if that is the case, consider calling the following numbers: Call 24/7: 800-SUICIDE (784-2433) 800-273-TALK (8255) Text Telephone 800-799-4TTY (4889) Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860.)

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On Saturday night, I watched and live tweeted the latest Lifetime original film.  Unfortunately, I ran into a small problem.  The title of the movie was The Suicide Note and, as a result, I ended up posting a few hundred tweets with the hashtag #SuicideNote.  Apparently, some people were not aware that I was watching a Lifetime film and they actually thought I was spending two hours tweeting out an actual suicide note.  One tweet in particular seemed to worry people:

Well, allow me to assure everyone: I was just talking about the movie.  Adam is a character in the movie and he’s played by Stephen Colletti.  Adam is a pre-med student with a temper.  When his girlfriend, Emma (Kristen Ray), plunges to her death from the rooftop of her dorm, Adam is an immediate suspect.  And why not?  Before Emma died, she was seen having a drunken argument with Adam.  A later search of Emma’s phone reveals threatening text messages from Adam.  Adam is the logical suspect, except for the fact that Emma left behind a suicide note.

What does the note read?

The note reads, “I was not murdered so please don’t suspect my boyfriend.”

No, actually, it doesn’t.  Instead it says, “I’m sorry, please forgive me,” or words to that effect.  Nobody is sure whether or not the handwriting on the note is Emma’s but, since it’s the only evidence that the police have, they decided that Emma must have committed suicide.

However, Emma’s roommate, Molly (Kirby Bliss Blanton), doesn’t believe that Emma committed suicide.  That’s because Molly once tried to kill herself and didn’t see any signs that Emma was suicidal.  With the help of her painter boyfriend, Brady (Brant Daugherty), and her sarcastic best friend, Irene (Lexi Giovagnoli), Molly sets out to solve the crime.  At first, she suspects that Adam is the murderer but this is Lifetime and that solution is way too easy.  As Molly investigates, she discovers that there are all sorts of secrets waiting to be uncovered.

Suicide Note is pretty much a standard Lifetime mystery.  It takes place on one of those Lifetime movie college campuses where there’s only ten students and they all keep running into each other.  Molly also has a mentor, a professor played by Gabrielle Carteris (who, my friend Holly tells me, was on the original 90210.)  My favorite scene was when Molly and Brady were walking across campus, just to be confronted by a jogging and shirtless Adam.  Adam yells that he didn’t kill Emma and then Prof. 90210 shows up and snaps, “GO TO CLASS!”  I wanted Adam to ask whether or not he could at least go get a shirt before going to class but instead, he just jogged off.

One of the things that I did like about The Suicide Note is that it featured some genuinely creepy dream sequences.  Molly has several dreams where she sees Emma’s ghost and several other unsettling things.  The dreams are all very well-shot and brings a jolt of life to the film.

As I said before, Suicide Note is pretty much your typical Lifetime affair.  If you’re not into Lifetime, the film will probably seem pretty silly to you.  But, if you are into Lifetime, you’ll appreciate Suicide Note for what it is.  Just be careful about hashtagging the title.

Film Review: The Red Dress (dir by Leif Bristow)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

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As I was watching The Red Dress, I found myself thinking that it had to be one of the most deliberately paced Lifetime film that I had ever seen.  It moved slowly, taking its time to tell its story and, as far as I could tell, attempting to build up a certain atmosphere of existential doom.  (In many ways, it reminded me of the trailer for Angelina Jolie’s By The Sea.)  It really wasn’t paced right for TV but that’s probably because it really wasn’t made for TV.

From the occasionally blanked out lines of dialogue to a blurred hint of sideboob, it was obvious that The Red Dress was a theatrical film that somehow ended up making its American premiere on the Lifetime Movie Network.  What would have worked just fine when watched in one uninterrupted 90 minute viewing worked less well when stretched out to two hours and frequently interrupted by commercials for Liberty Mutual Insurance.  The film, itself, frequently plays with time and makes heavy use of flashbacks.  It’s not necessarily a complicated story but it’s still one that requires a bit of concentration.  It’s not always easy to concentrate when you have to deal with a commercial about an insane person who named her car Brad.

As for the story that the movie tells, Patricia (Rachel Skarsten) and Rainer (Callum Blue) are young, rich, married, and maybe in love.  Of course, Patricia did have an affair with Rainer’s business partner, James (Sean Maguire).  And, after Patricia announced that she was pregnant, Rainer did start to feel like “an appendage.”  As for the baby, it died in a mysterious fire that may or may not have been arson.

With Patricia in a deep depression, Rainer suggests that they move to a beachfront house in Malta.  It’s here that Rainer can spend all of his time floating in the pool and Patricia can deal with the constant nightmares that make it impossible for her to sleep.  At times, being in Malta seems to bring the spark back to their marriage.  But then there are other times when Patricia suspects that Rainer is keeping a secret from her.

And then there’s the mysterious girl who Patricia keeps seeing.  The girl seems to always be heading towards a castle that lies in the distance, lit up with a crimson glow that makes it seem like it belongs in a Jean Rollin film or maybe Inception‘s Limbo.  Patricia suspects that the girl may have been kidnapped by the mysterious local hunter, Angelo (John Rhys-Davies).  Rainer, however, seems to believe that the solution to everything is for Patricia to take more pills.

The Red Dress doesn’t really work as a film, largely because Rainer and Patricia are such unlikable characters that you really don’t care what happens to them.  Far too often, they put the idle into idle rich.  As well, the film’s final twist is not as much of a surprise as the film seems to think it is.  You’ll see it coming.  That said, I did like the look of a film.  Malta is a great location and the film takes advantage of that fact.

As for the film’s title, it refers to a dress that Patricia wears in a few of the flashbacks.  And you know what?  It is a really nice dress.

Film Review: The Wrong Roommate (dir by David DeCoteau)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Wrong Roommate

It’s always interesting to me when my favorite exploitation and grindhouse filmmakers end up making a movie for Lifetime.  It happens a lot more that you might expect and it’s always undeniably fun to see how they adapt their own sensibilities to the requirements of the network.  For instance, last year, Fred Olen Ray gave Lifetime both River Raft Nightmare and The Christmas Gift.

And then, in January of this year, David DeCoteau gave us The Wrong Roommate.  As far as Lifetime films are concerned, The Wrong Roommate is pure perfection.  It gives the viewer everything that she could possibly want from a Lifetime film.  There’s melodrama.  There’s romance.  There’s an untrustworthy ex-fiance.  There’s a mysterious artist who is both hot and dangerous and who has got like the most incredible abs.  There’s a big fancy house and lots of pretty clothes and there’s even a sex-positive best friend who is eager to help her BFF rebuild her life.  I enjoyed The Wrong Roommate when I first watched it and I enjoyed it when I rewatched it earlier today.  But as I watched The Wrong Roommate, I wondered how members of the typical Lifetime viewing audience would have reacted to seeing some of DeCoteau’s other 122 films, like Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama or Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper.  

It’s DeCoteau’s background in B-movies that made him the perfect director for The Wrong Roommate.  Like many filmmakers, DeCoteau began his career working with Roger Corman and then later worked with Charles Band.  These are filmmakers who understood how to tell a story.  Above all else, Roger Corman and his best students all understood the importance of storytelling.  They understood the importance of keeping the audience entertained.

And, whatever else one may say about it, The Wrong Roommate is a terrifically entertaining film.

The film opens with a man getting run over by a car.  That man is Prof. Floyd and he’s played by Eric Roberts.  From the minute that I saw that Eric Roberts was going to be in The Wrong Roommate, I assumed that he would be playing another one of his trademark crazy stalker roles but instead, Roberts is one of the good guys here.  He’s actually playing a sympathetic character.  It’s clever casting because, even once it starts to become clear that he’s not going to kill anyone, you’re still uncertain about him because he’s played by Eric Roberts.  Eric Roberts as a good guy keeps the audience off-balance and tells them not to take anything for granted.

That said, Roberts only has a supporting role here.  The film is about Laurie Valentine (Jessica Morris).  Laurie has just broken up with her controlling jerk of a fiancee, Mark (William McNamara).  And now, she’s rebuilding her life.  Her best friend (Dominique Swain) has gotten her a job teaching at the local college.  And her older sister has invited Laurie to spend the summer at her mansion.  The only catch is that Laurie has to look after her rebellious 17 year-old niece, Ricki (Brianna Joy Chomer).

After moving in, Laurie discovers that there’s someone else living on the estate.  Alan (Jason-Shane Scott) is staying in the guest house.  Ricki has a huge crush on him and soon, so does Laurie.  And why not?  Alan has amazing abs, spends all of his time shirtless, and he’s an artist!  He specializes in wood work and there’s nothing sexier than a man who is good with his hands and his wood…

But, wait a minute!

If Alan’s so great, why does he stage a break-in at the house?

Why doesn’t he ever seem to be surprised when Mark drops by the mansion?

And, of course, we have to consider the fact that Alan has installed a secret webcam in Laurie’s bedroom so that he can watch her undress on his laptop.

Hmmmm…something might not be quite right….

You’ll probably be able to guess what’s going on within the first 30 minutes of the film but who cares?  This is a fun movie and David DeCoteau’s direction strikes a perfect balance between melodrama and parody.  The film looks great, the cast looks great, and I was jealous of that big house.  The Wrong Roommate is wonderful entertainment, in the best tradition of Corman, Band, and DeCoteau.

 

Film Review: Flashback (dir by Claude Desrosiers)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

movie-hp-promo-flashback

No, that image above is not my sister‘s latest discovery for artwork of the day.  Instead, it’s the only promo image that I’ve been able to find for a film called Flashback.  Flashback premiered on the Lifetime Movie Network on January 31st.  Because I was on a road trip when it originally aired, I had to set the DVR to record it.  I watched the film earlier today and I jotted down a few notes for my review.  Then, because I desperately needed the space on my DVR, I erased the recording.  I assumed that I would be able to get any other details I needed from the film’s imdb page.

Big mistake.

Unlike some obscure films, Flashback actually does have a page on the imdb.  But there’s next to no information about the movie!  There’s a brief (but surprisingly accurate) plot description.  Three members of the cast are listed.  Jeffrey Roy is listed as being the adr mixer.  But otherwise, no director is listed.  No producer.  No writers.  It’s very odd.

So, after discovering that the imdb was going to be little to no help, I decided to go to MyLifetime.com and look up the film.  And guess what?  The MyLifetime page does not list a director either!

After doing a few more fruitless Google searches, I quickly looked through my notes.  Maybe I had jotted down the director’s name.  Of course, I did not.

The lesson here is not to take the imdb for granted as a resource.  Especially when it comes to fairly obscure Lifetime films.

I would especially like to be able to name the director and writer responsible for Flashback because it actually tells a very heartfelt story and attempts to deal with a serious issue.  The films tell the story of Samantha (Roxanne McKee), a soldier with the National Guard who has just returned from Iraq.  While Samantha struggles to maintain an outward normalcy, she is actually suffering from severe PTSD.  (When we first see her, she’s holding a gun and hiding in a bathroom stall while her friends throw her a welcome home party.)  In Iraq, Samantha was involved in a friendly fire incident that led to the death of two soldiers.  Back home, she finds herself being stalked by another soldier (Tim Rozon), who blames her for the incident.  What gives this story a twist is that Samantha herself is unsure about what actually happened.  Whenever she tries to remember, she just has hazy flashbacks to a battle in Iraq.

(And, let it be said, the battle scenes were surprisingly well-done for what appeared to be a rather low-budget film.  The director did a good job of creating and capturing the feel of total chaos and confusion.)

And, in many ways, Flashback is a standard Lifetime film.  Even while Samantha is being stalked, she enters into a relationship with yet another soldier (Steve Lund), who is politically ambitious and has secrets of his own.  The whole thing even includes, as almost every Lifetime film does, a chase and confrontation at an isolated cabin.   But then the film ends with some statistics about PTSD and suicide and with two final words on the screen: “For Cathy.”  It’s a powerful moment and I’d like to give the director proper credit.  So, if you are the director or you know the director, leave a comment and let us know so that we can give credit where credit is due.

(UPDATE: Val has just informed me that this film was directed by Claude Desrosiers.  — LMB)

The other great thing about Flashback is that it featured Stacey Farber in the role of Samantha’s best friend!  If you’re a fan of Degrassi, like me and Valerie Troutman, then you will immediately recognize Stacey from her role as Ellie Nash!  Ellie was always my favorite character on Degrassi, largely because, as a redheaded film lover who used to dress exclusively in black and who has had some experience with rubber band therapy, I related to her in so many ways.  And while I remain a fan of the show, it definitely lost something when Stacey Farber left the show.  (That said, at least Ellie finally ended up with the totally hot Craig Manning!  Go, Ellie!)

Anyway, it’s interesting seeing Stacey Farber play a character who suggests that the best way for Samantha to deal with wartime trauma is to go on a shopping spree.  (That said, I probably would have made the same suggestion.  Shopping is always a good fallback remedy.)  But she does a good job in her role (as does the entire cast) and it was nice to see that, for her, there is life after Degrassi.

In fact, I’m going to end this review with three of my favorite Ellie gifs.