Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #30: The Inherited (dir by Devon Gummersall)

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by the end of July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 30th film on my DVR was broadcast on the Lifetime Movie Network on June 5th. It was aired under the title The Inherited but, according to the imdb, it was originally called Stranger In The House. I imagine that Lifetime changed the title in order to keep viewers from confusing it with a previous Lifetime film that happened to have the same title.

Anyway, regardless of the title, this is a very confusing movie. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. This is just one of those films where, in order to truly understand what’s happening, you have to be willing to give the film some thought. It’s a film that raises many questions but doesn’t always supply easy answers. The answers are there but you have to be willing to look for them.

Unfortunately, because this film demands a certain amount of focus on the part of the audience, commercial television is probably the worst place for it to show up. When the action stops every fifteen minutes for a 3-minute block of commercials, it makes it a little bit difficult to remember what’s happened from one scene to another.

Stranger In The House/The Inherited tells the story of Eve (Jenn Liu) and Tom (Nathan Darrow). Eve and Tom has just gotten married. Eve lost her parents when she was younger and — well, to be honest, I’m not sure why the film opens with Eve’s parents dying. (Later, we find out that Tom’s parents also died when he was young. Maybe it’s all connected, maybe it isn’t. I honestly don’t know.) Tom is a widower. His first wife died but, in her will, she left Tom her family’s home on the condition that Tom never sell the house.

As soon as Tom and Eve move into the house, strange things start to happen. Eve thinks that she hears strange noises and she’s upset to discover that Tom has secrets that he hasn’t told her about. When his former sister-in-law, Wendy (Tammy Blanchard), comes over for dinner, she and Tom get into a huge argument that ends when Wendy’s necklace suddenly tightly wraps around her neck. Eve thinks there is something terrible in the house but Tom continually says that she’s imagining things. Fortunately, the housekeeper (Annabella Sciorra) believes Eve and even shares the fact that Tom cooked all of his first wife’s meals before she mysteriously fell ill and died. Suddenly, Tom’s cooking for Eve…

Soon, Eve doesn’t know who she can trust. Is the house haunted or is she going crazy? Is Tom trying to murder her or is Eve just going crazy? Is the housekeeper Eve’s friend or is Eve just going crazy? Could the film be any more of a Rebecca rip-off or is Eve just crazy? Is this film Gaslight or is it The Haunting?

I had to watch the ending a few times before I could tell you for sure. The Inherited is not always an easy film to follow. It’s directed in a deliberately dream-like manner, which leads to some memorably surreal scenes but which can also be frustrating when you’re trying to figure out what the Hell’s going on. Personally, I liked The Inherited because it had a lot of atmosphere, some good acting, and a lot of twists and turns. But it’s definitely not a film for everyone. You have to be willing to accept the fact that the movie is never going to make much sense.

On final note, Jenn Lui not only wrote this film but she also gave herself the lead role. That was a smart decision because the script is definitely written to her strengths as a performer. She gives a great performance, one that helps to hold this somewhat uneven film together.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #29: You May Now Kill The Bride (dir by Kohl Glass)

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 29th film on my DVR was You May Now Kill The Bride! You May Now Kill The Bride originally aired on Lifetime on June 4th, during which time I took part in one of the most epic live tweets ever. This was one of those films that brought out the best in everyone!

First off, You May Now Kill The Bride wins points for having one of the most brilliant titles of all time. Not only does it tell you exactly what the film is about (i.e., weddings and killings) but it sets the tone perfectly. When you see a title like You May Now Kill The Bride, you know that there’s no need to even try to take what you’re about to see seriously. You May Now Kill The Bride says “Sit back and have fun.”

You May Now Kill The Bride tells the story of Nicole (Ashley Newbrough), a 30-s0mething teacher who has yet to get married or have children. Almost everyone has given up on the idea of Nicole ever finding true love. And, really, that’s okay because Nicole has a fun-loving best friend named Celine (Aubrey Reynolds), who is always available to come over to the house and get drunk.

However, to everyone’s shock, Nicole meets and falls in love with the handsome and sensitive Mark (Rocky Myers). Mark asks Nicole to marry him and it’s really great because Mark is not only nice to look at but he owns a really nice house as well. He also has a stepsister named Audrey (Tammin Sursok) and here’s where things start to get a little bit complicated.

Y’see, Audrey isn’t quite sane. Not only is she obsessed with her stepbrother but she’s also interested in being Nicole’s best friend at well. Even though Celine immediately decides that Audrey is crazy, Nicole insists on making Audrey a bridesmaid.

Why not maid of honor?

Well, Celine already has that job. Or, at least, Celine has that job until she mysteriously ends up getting tossed over the ledge of a parking garage…

Now, it may sound like Audrey is really dangerous but actually, I think she was only trying to help out her new sister-in-law. During an earlier scene, Nicole announced that she was going to wear perhaps the least flattering wedding dress that I have ever seen in a Lifetime movie. Celine supported Ncole’s decision. Audrey, however, immediately started to plot to destroy the dress.

Sometimes, a bridesmaid just has to do what a bridesmaid has to do.

It is true that, plotwise, You May Now Kill The Bride may be a perfectly standard Lifetime story. But the cast throws themselves into their roles, the dialogue is full of snarkiness, and Tammin Sursok fully commits to playing obsessive Audrey. This is a film that lives up to the crazy promise of its name.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #27: Running For Her Life (dir by Philippe Gagnon)

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 27th film on my DVR was Running For Life, which originally aired on Lifetime on May 29th.

Running For Her Life has a very simple and yet very important message: if you’re going to take part in hypnotherapy, make sure that your therapist isn’t a fucking psycho who is obsessed with you. Really, that seems like it should be common sense but I’ve seen enough Lifetime films to know that people of a certain age and socio-economic background are often way too quick to enter into co-dependent relationships with people that they barely know!

For instance, Alison Wynn (Claire Forlani) wants to be an Olympic-winning triathlete, despite the fact that she’s still recovering from a major accident, one that caused many doctors to tell her that she would never walk again. Alison proved them wrong then and she wants to prove them wrong now! The only problem is that something is holding her back from giving it her all in competition. Could it be a childhood trauma of some sort? Could it be her own insecurity over her husband’s attractive new assistant?

What better way to find out than to convince the famous and controversial Dr. Laura Stevens (Michelle Nolden) to take her on as a client! At first, Laura says that she only works with professional athletes and suggests that Alison just read her book. But Alison continues to beg and eventually, Laura relents.

It turns out that Laura is a demanding coach. She pushes Alison to the limit and then demands even more, all the while screaming at her that her mother was right and that Alison is worthless. But, despite the harsh treatment, Alison starts to get better. It especially helps when Laura hyponotizes her and implant psychic suggestions in her brain. Of course, there is a nosy reporter (Arnold Pinnock) who claims that Laura is less of a coach and more of a brainwasher but at least Laura is getting results!

Of course, that’s not all Laura is doing. It quickly becomes apparent that she has grown obsessed with Alison. Soon, Laura is breaking into Alison’s apartment and hiding panties behind the cushions of the living room couch. “THESE AREN’T MINE!” Alison later yells at her husband.

It all leads to a scene in which Alison’s husband confronts Laura and Laura literally smashes a bottle over her head. Seriously, it’s one of the most batshit crazy scenes to ever show up in a Lifetime film and it makes the entire film required viewing.

Anyway, I rather liked Running For Her Life. Yes, it’s predictable but it’s also fun. As well, this is one of the rare Lifetime films where the victims are just as interesting as villains. Claire Forlani really throws herself into the role of Alison and you actually find yourself hoping that things actually do work out for her (though I have to admit that I’m still not totally sure I understand what a triathlon is). Meanwhile, Michelle Nolden turns Dr. Laura into a truly classic Lifetime villain.

Keep an eye out for Running For Her Life!

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #23: A Wife’s Suspicion (dir by Jesse James Miller)

Posted on July 8, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 23rd film on my DVR was A Wife’s Suspicion.

I recorded this on May 23rd and, just like with Broken Promise, you can probably guess by the title alone that I recorded this off of Lifetime. In fact, when I first saw that I had recorded this movie, I went back and checked to make sure that I hadn’t already reviewed a Lifetime film called A Wife’s Suspicion. Seriously, you have to wonder how it could possibly taken until 2016 for Lifetime to use this title.

(In all fairness, before Lifetime picked it up, the movie’s title was Evidence of Truth. I’m actually glad that they changed the title, just because Evidence of Truth makes it sound like one of those tedious climate change documentaries that you sometimes come across on Netflix.)

Anyway, A Wife’s Suspicion is a mix of CSI procedural and Lifetime melodrama. Renee Murphy (Andrea Roth) is the type of forensic examiner who talks to corpses while she examines them. She’s stubborn but she gets results, dammit! She once dated Detective Kyle Ferguson (Sebastian Spence) but, after they broke up, she ended up married to Jack Murphy (Woody Jeffreys). Jack seems like he’s a great guy and he’s got impressive hair but women are being murdered and Renee has reason to suspect that Jack might be the murderer.

It doesn’t help, of course, that Jack has been keeping secrets from her. When she decides to follow him, Renee spots Jack talking to a younger woman. Could Jack be having an affair or is he telling the truth when he says that he’s simply the woman’s sponsor? It turns out that Jack has had issues with addiction in the past. That’s one of those things that he didn’t tell his wife because he wanted “a second chance” at life.

Does Renee give Jack that second chance or does she work with her ex-boyfriend to put him in prison? Decisions, decision….

When I mentioned that I was watching A Wife’s Suspicion, my Lifetime-watching friend Trevor asked me if the movie had bored me to tears yet. Well, the movie never quite brought tears to my eyes but I still quickly discovered what he was talking about. A Wife’s Suspicion moves slowly, largely because there’s barely enough plot for an hour-long cop show, much less a 90 minute movie. You’ll be able to guess whether Jack is guilty or not fairly early and the fact that you figured it out but Renee didn’t only serves to make Renee an annoying character.

Sadly, A Wife’s Suspicion is a film that I would recommend skipping.

Cleaning Out the DVR, Again #22: Broken Promise (dir by Nadeem Soumah)

Posted on July 8, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 22nd film on the DVR was Broken Promise, which I recorded off of Lifetime on May 22nd.

Before I get into the film itself, let me just say this about the title: Broken Promise is the perfect generic Lifetime title. I mean, it tells you absolutely nothing and yet it somehow tells you everything as well. If I hadn’t told you that I recorded this movie off of Lifetime, you would have guessed it just from the title, wouldn’t you? There’s an art to coming up with perfectly generic titles and Lifetime has mastered it.

Anyway, Broken Promise opens in 1992! Two high school seniors — Mina (Angeline Appel) and her boyfriend, Reese (Mickey River) — are driving around in Reese’s canary yellow car. If you watch that movie, pay attention to the car because you’ll be seeing it again. It’s like the canary yellow harbinger of death and doom. Anyway, Mina and Reese are young and in love so, naturally, they decide to break into a house for a romantic evening. However, the romance is interrupted when the owner of the house shows up with a shotgun. There’s a struggle. The homeowner is killed. Reese tells Mina that she needs to leave and that he’ll take the blame when the cops show up. Mina promises to wait for him to get out of prison.

However, promises were made to be broken…

Jump forward 25 years! Reese Sinclair (now played by Louis Mandylor) is finally being released from prison. However, no one is waiting to greet him on the outside. While he manages to get back his yellow car, his girlfriend is nowhere to be seen.

That’s right — Mina broke her promise! No only did she not wait for him but she also got married and now has a sullen teenage daughter, Hali (Lauren York). Making matters even worse, Mina not only got married but she married a cop! Ben Gardner (Nick Baillie) may be a nice guy and a good cop but that doesn’t stop Reese from fantasizing about murdering him.

Well, you can probably guess what happens. Reese tracks down Mina and her family. Reese tries to ingratiate himself with the family. Rebellious Hali starts to get too close to her mom’s ex-boyfriend. It’s really pretty much a typical Lifetime film, with all that implies. It’s well-made and well-acted and it won’t surprise you one bit.

In fact, to me, the most interesting thing about the film was looking at the cast and remembering all the other Lifetime films that they’ve appeared in. Ashley Scott was in 16 and Missing. Nick Baillie was in Full Out, which I will be reviewing soon. Lauren York was not only in The Perfect Daughter but also co-starred in Babysitter’s Black Book with Angelina Appel, who plays the younger version of her mom in this movie! According the imdb, York will also be appearing in the sequel to Lavalantula. They all do a pretty good job in this movie and so does Louis Madylor.

Let’s put it like this: if you like Lifetime movies, you’ll like this. If you don’t, you won’t.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #21: I Am Watching You (dir by Maureen Bharoocha)

Posted on July 8, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 11th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

I was originally planning on reviewing the 21st film on my DVR yesterday evening but that was before my hometown of Dallas, Texas turned into a war zone after a sniper opened fire on a Black Lives Matter protest that was being held downtown. From 9 pm to 5 in the morning, I was watching the news and following the story on twitter. 10 police officers and 1 protester were shot by a gunman who later blown up in the parking garage of El Centro College. Sadly, as of this writing, five of the wounded officers have lost their lives. It was tragic and terrifying to watch this situation unfold, especially with the knowledge that it was all happening just a few miles away from me. Needless to say, at that moment, reviewing a Lifetime film was the last thing on my mind. I was just happy knowing that my family, friends, and loved ones were all safe.

As I sit here writing this, the city is still in shock and large portions of Dallas are currently shut down. (Fortunately, I was already off work for this week.) And, oddly enough, I’m suddenly finding myself very happy that I still have 19 films left to review. When the world gets too crazy and scary, movies can provide a needed escape and right now, I need that escape.

So, with all that in mind, let’s take a look at I Am Watching You!

There’s a scene in Joe Swanberg’s 2014 holiday film, Happy Christmas, in which Anna Kendrick encourages novelist Melanie Lynesky to abandon her pretentious and stalled literary project and instead just try to make a quick buck by writing a “mom sex” book. “Mom sex” books (like 50 Shades of Grey, to cite the most obvious example) might not qualify as great literature but they’re full of sex and middle-aged women like to read them on the beach. I Am Watching You tells the story of Nora Nichols (Madline Zima), a writer who specializes in writing “mom sex” books.

Nora, however, is suffering from writer’s block! Could it be because, like all Lifetime heroines, she has recently broken up with her boyfriend and is no longer having sex? Of course, it is! Fortunately, Nora’s office window provides her with a perfect view of her neighbor, photographer Lucas Wheeler (Brian Ames). Nora spends her time watching Lucas dress and undress but what Nora doesn’t suspect is that Lucas might be watching her as well.

Anyway, eventually, Nora and Lucas actually run into each other in real life and soon, they’re exploring their own 50 Shades of Grey-style melodrama. It helps with Nora’s writing, too. For instance, when she has to write a bondage scene, she has Lucas tie her up.

And, at first, it looks like everything is perfect! He’s hot, he’s into bondage, he likes to watch — what could go wrong? Well, he’s also obsessed with her and Nora soon discovers that she’s being stalked by him. Will all of this help Nora to write a best seller? How couldn’t it!?

Anyway, I Am Watching You is pretty much your typical Lifetime sex film. All of the scenes are gauzy and Lucas looks good without a shirt on but otherwise, it’s pretty tame. Even the very brief bondage scene felt more like a Chanel commercial than anything else.

But I guess my main problem with I Am Watching You is that, from what we heard in the film, Nora didn’t appear to be a very good writer. If anything, her writing sounded like second-rate 50 Shades of Grey fanfic (which is pretty bad when you consider that 50 Shades itself is second-rate fanfic). Considering all that she goes through to get her book written, it would be nice if the book at least sounded like it was worth reading.

I Am Watching You originally aired on Lifetime on May 15th and I’m sure it’ll probably air again many times over the upcoming year. They usually do.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #20: I Didn’t Kill My Sister (dir by Jason Bourque)

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 10th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

“And now, for tonight’s top story, we go to Lois Summer, on assignment in Richardson, Texas.”

“Thank you, Mason. For the past week and a half, one red-haired film critic has been attempting what some people would call the impossible. Lisa Marie Bowman is trying to clean out her DVR by watching the 40 movies that she recorded between March and June. She just finished rewatching the 20th film on her DVR, I Didn’t Kill My Sister.”

“Now, Lois, for our viewers who may not know, what exactly is a DVR?”

“Get with the times, Mason. According to Ms. Bowman, she watched I Didn’t Kill My Sister when it originally premiered on Lifetime. The date was May 14th and she says that she specifically watched the film with her sister, Erin. Ms. Bowman says that both she and her sister enjoyed the film the first that they watched it.”

“Did she say how she felt about the film the second time she saw it…?”

“Dammit, I’m getting there, Mason. Ms. Bowman says that I Didn’t Kill My Sister was just as enjoyable the second time that she watched it. In fact, she said that it is a very entertaining murder mystery, one that almost feels like an old-fashioned whodunit. She described the film as being stylish without being gaudy and melodramatic in the best possible way.”

“Is there really a good way to be melodramatic?”

“According to Ms. Bowman, there is. For the rest of her review, we now go directly to Lisa Marie Bowman…”

Hi, everyone! Lisa here. Anyway, as Lois was just saying, I enjoyed I Didn’t Kill My Sister both times that I watched it. It’s a fun Lifetime murder mystery, one of those things that works best when you just relax, sit back, and let yourself be entertained. If you like Lifetime movies, you’ll like this one!

The film tells the story of two sisters. Carmen Pearson (Gina Holden) is a publicly beloved and privately loathed local celebrity. She co-anchors City View with her husband, Mason (Chris William Martin). She has a beautiful house, a nice pool, and great hair. She also has a rebellious teenage daughter (Sarah Desjardins) and a sister named Heather (Nicholle Tom). Heather would love to have Carmen’s life but, instead, she’s stuck working as her sister’s private assistant.

(One of the best things about the film is the way that it contrasts Carmen’s mansion — complete with luxurious pool — with Heather’s cluttered, one-story house.)

However, Carmen’s life is not perfect. She’s in the middle of a nasty divorce and Mason even seems to be flirting with her sister. When her daughter screams, “I HATE YOU!!!,” she sounds like she actually means it. And, of course, there’s the ambitious reporter (Dominika Jullet) who wants her job and the lawyer (Ona Grauer) who may have an agenda of her own. When Carmen is discovered floating face down in her pool, everyone’s a suspect!

Including Heather!

Heather knows she’s innocent but the detective (Sharon Taylor) in charge of the case seems to feel otherwise. Can Heather solve her sister’s murder before she ends up getting arrested!?

I Didn’t Kill My Sister is a fun, little whodunit. Gina Holden has a lot of fun being bitchy during the first 15 minutes of the film and Chris William Martin is brilliantly sleazy in the role of Mason. Watch it the next time that it’s on and see if you can solve the mystery before Heather does!

Back to you, Lois.

“Back to you, Mason.”

“Thank you, Lois. How much fun is a barrel of monkeys? That’s what a truck driver discovered today while making a delivery to the San Diego Zoo. That story and Newy Scruggs with sports, next…”

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #19: Jack of the Red Hearts (dir by Janet Grillo)

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 10th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 19th film on my DVR was Jack of The Red Hearts, which I recorded off of the Lifetime Movie Network on April 27th.

I have to admit that I was a little bit surprised as I watched Jack of the Red Hearts. While it seemed to have a typical Lifetime premise — a runaway fakes her identity and moves in with a troubled family — it didn’t feel like a typical Lifetime film. For one thing, the cast was made up of actors like Soul Surfer‘s AnnaSophia Robb, The Bling Ring‘s Israel Broussard, and the X-Men‘s Famke Janssen. None of these people are exactly big stars but they’re still not Lifetime regulars. While the premise may have been Lifetime-friendly, the portrayal of an 11 year-old autistic girl (played by Taylor Richardson) definitely seemed a bit more realistic than one would usually expect from a made-for-TV movie. Finally, there were more than a few occasions when it was obvious that some of the dialogue had been overdubbed, in order to make the language more appropriate for television.

So, I did some research and I discovered that Jack of the Red Hearts was not originally made for Lifetime. Instead, it’s an indie film that was directed by Janet Grillo and written by Jennifer Deaton, both of whom drew on their own experiences of raising an autistic child. Jack of the Red Hearts did the festival circuit in 2015 and even got a very limited theatrical release back in February.

Jack of the Red Hearts tells the story of Jack (AnnaSophia Robb), an 18 year-old high school drop out who is on probation. When we first meet Jack, she’s helping her younger sister, Coke (Sophia Anna Caruso), break out of foster care. AnnaSophia and Sophia Anna are both totally believable as sisters and their scenes together are so believable that you even forgive the fact that they’re named Jack and Coke. Jack wants to take care of her sister but she’s broke and she’s homeless. In order to rescue Coke from the foster home, Jack has to get a job and enough money to rent an apartment.

And what better way to get a job than by stealing someone else’s identity! After Jack sees some flyers asking “Are you good with children?,” she shows up at the home of Kay (Famke Janssen) and Mark (Scott Cohen). Jack claims that her name is Donna and that she’s the nanny that Kay previously hired over the telephone. Despite having neither training nor a high school degree, Jack is soon taking care of autistic Glory (Taylor Richardson).

Glory is nonverbal and sometimes violent and her family, while loving, struggles to adjust to not only her behavior but also their inability to understand what the world is like for her. (The film occasionally tries to show us the world through Glory’s eyes and it works a lot better than you might expect.) When Jack initially reacts to Glory’s behavior by snapping at her and occasionally getting rough (at one point, she slaps away Glory’s hand when Glory suddenly tries to grab food off her plate), you wince but at the same time, you understand Jack’s frustration. Richardson, who is not autistic in real life, fully commits herself to the role and the film deserves a lot of credit for not sentimentalizing her condition or its effect on her family. Unlike most Lifetime films, this one takes place in a frequently cluttered and chaotic house and Kay is portrayed as literally being on the verge of a neurotic meltdown.

Though it takes a while, Jack starts to care about Glory and finally, she even starts to make some progress with Glory. And again, it should be pointed out that the film does not portray Jack as a miracle worker, though Jack does watch The Miracle Worker on television at one point. The progress is slow but, the film says, it is progress and that’s the important thing. Jack also develops an attraction to Glory’s brother, Robert (Israel Broussard). Robert, however, is the only member of the family to suspect that Jack may not be telling the truth about who she is…

Because Jack of the Red Hearts was on the Lifetime Movie Network, I kept waiting for the scene in which Jack would either seduce Kay’s husband or try to kidnap Glory. Thankfully, that scene never came, though the film still has its share of melodramatic moments. Jack of the Red Hearts is, in many ways, a predictable film but it’s also an achingly sincere film and Robb, Broussard, Janssen, and especially Taylor Richardson all give excellent and empathetic performances.

This is a sweetly well-intentioned and bravely unsentimental film and definitely one to keep an eye out for.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #18: House of Darkness (dir by Patrick DeLuca)

Posted on July 6, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 10th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

The 18th film on the DVR was the Lifetime original movie, House of Darkness.

House of Darkness is a film that asks a question that I’m sure we have all asked ourselves at least once: “What if Lifetime made a horror film? What would that be like?”

Well, apparently, it would be like every single horror film that you’ve ever seen. There is not a single cliché that does not show up in House of Darkness. It starts out with the promise that we are about see a true story and hey, maybe it was! After all, the film reminded me of a lot of other horrors film — Amityville, Paranormal Activity, and others — that were supposedly based on true stories.

Kelly (Sara Fletcher) and Brian (Gunner Wright) are a married couple but they are also a Lifetime couple, which means that their marriage is in trouble! Brian is a carpenter who has a difficult time opening up emotionally. Kelly is a massage therapist, which Brian appears to think is the equivalent of working in a brothel. How bad is their marriage? When Brian sees Kelly wearing sexy lingerie in an effort to liven things up, he responds by going out to the garage.

Fortunately, Brian and Kelly have been seeing a marriage counselor. The counselor suggests that they both start keeping a video diary, which allows the film to occasionally so some found footage shots. (That’s the Paranormal Activity influence.) If the video diaries don’t help, maybe moving to a new house in San Francisco will do the trick!

And you know what? It’s a great house but the owners didn’t want much money for it. It’s almost as if they were trying to get rid of the house. I wonder what that could mean!

Anyway, Kelly and Brian’s daughter is soon wandering around, speaking in a demonic voice while giving everyone Hillary Clinton-style death glares, and encouraging her friends to wander into the basement. Meanwhile, Brian is acting even weirder and suddenly, it’s like he can’t go anywhere without bringing an axe with him!

And then there’s the neighbors. A sexy woman and a superhot man occasionally appear standing in front of the house across the road. The woman smiles at Brian, tempting him to … to do what? I guess that the idea here is to encourage Brian to start doing his Jack Nicholson impersonation but I wasn’t sure. I suspect, to a certain extent, that the ghosts and the evil spirits and whatever the Hell is in the house don’t really have any goals beyond doing the usual horror stuff. They probably said, “Look! A stationary camera! Let’s go knock shit around!”

Anyway, House of Darkness is pretty much just a festival of nonstop clichés and scenes lifted from other horror films. It’s never really scary, largely because it’s a made-for-TV movie and, since it’s Lifetime, you know that it’s not going to be disturbing or graphic like The Walking Dead or Game of Thrones. Without any intentional humor or unexpected scares, House of Darkness is largely forgettable.

Cleaning Out The DVR, Again #17: Dying To Be Loved (dir by Paul Shapiro)

Posted on July 5, 2016 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of trying to clean out her DVR by watching and reviewing all 40 of the movies that she recorded from the start of March to the end of June. She’s trying to get it all done by July 10th! Will she make it!? Keep visiting the site to find out!)

After I finished up with The Cheerleader Murders, I rewatched Dying To Be Loved, which premiered on the Lifetime network on April 16th. Dying To Be Loved is also known as A Mother’s Suspicion. I’m really not sure which title I prefer. A Mother’s Suspicion is a little more accurate, as the film is about a mother who is very suspicious of her daughter’s new boyfriend. However, Dying To Be Loved has a little bit more of a snap to it, with the juxtaposition of death and love.

If I seem to be spending a bit too much time on the film’s title, that’s because I have a certain word count that I’m trying to meet but there’s really not that much to say about Dying To Be Loved. It’s a typical example of a genre familiar to all regular Lifetime viewers, the You Should Have Listened To Mom genre of film.

In this case, the mom is Jill Yates (Lindsay Hartley). Jill has a good career, a good house, a good boyfriend (played by Lifetime regular Dan Payne), and good hair. That’s really pretty much all you need to be a success in a Lifetime film. However, she also has an 18 year-old daughter, Emily (Paloma Kwiatkowski). Emily is away at college. She’s alone from home for the first time. She’s also bipolar and Jill fears that Emily is not taking her meds. Jill is even more worried when she meets Emily’s new boyfriend, Gary (Jedidiah Goodacre). Gary is rough and tough and has absolutely terrible table manners. Jill tells Emily that she can do better than Gary so, of course, Emily runs off on a cross-country trip with him.

Soon, Gary is murdering gas station attendants and ranting like a madman. Emily, who is not taking her medication (cue dramatic music), is convinced that she loves Gary. In fact, she is so in love with Gary that she apparently agrees to jump off a bridge with him.

Or does she? No bodies are recovered. Even though everyone tells Jill that she needs to move on, Jill is convinced that her daughter is still out there. With the help of a portly P.I. (Jay Bazeau) and an overly friendly small town cop (James Pizzinato), Jill sets out to find her daughter. One of these two men is connected to Gary. Which one? You’ll have to watch the movie to find out!

Anyway, this is pretty much a standard Lifetime film. Watching it, I couldn’t help but wish that it had been directed by someone like Fred Olen Ray. At the very least, Fred would have played up the film’s melodrama and would have been a bit less earnest in his approach. That said, Lindsay Hartley and Paloma Kwiatkowski are totally believable as mother and daughter. Kwiatkowski, in particular, deserves a lot of credit for giving a believable and multi-faceted performance as the unstable and desperately unhappy Emily. I winced a few times as I recognized bits of 16 year-old me in Emily’s actions. This may be a generic Lifetime film but Hartley and Kwiatkowski really put their hearts into their performances and, for that, they deserve a lot of credit!

(For those keeping count, that’s 17 reviews down and 23 more to go!)