Larry Poindexter | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network! It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike patrol’s stupidity and worthlessness puts everyone at risk. What are they thinking!?

Episode 2.5 “Point Blank”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on September 21st, 1996)

A report comes in about an armed robbery so TC and Chris speed off on their bicycles to catch the guy …. *snicker*

I’m sorry, I need a minute to stop laughing.

Anyway, TC gets knocked off of his bike by the robber, who proceeds to steal TC’s gun. Oh my God, TC’s such a dumbass! The real cops show up in their cars and Chris is all like, “Go get the robber while I tend to my fallen colleague and his totally rocking bicycle.” Seriously, Chris is kind of rude about it, frantically motioning at them to go after the robber. What else do you think they were going to do, Chris?

While TC searches for his gun, Chris discovers that someone has signed her up for a video dating service. Chris, who is always complaining about how she can’t get a date, complains about having too many dates. Then she complains that none of her dates work out, largely because of her whiny and abrasive personality.

Meanwhile, a little kid has lost his dog. Del Toro and Cory suspect that the pet has been kidnapped and sold to a research lab. They go from one sleazy kennel to another, searching for the dog. They take the kid with them and probably traumatize him for life. The good thing is that they save the dog and break up the dognapping ring. The bad thing is that their story and likable chemistry still has to share the screen with Chris whining and TC searching for his lost gun.

TC’s gun eventually lands in the hands of a bullied teenager who promptly threatens to shoot his bullies. But he changes his mind and instead give the gun back to TC. TC’s praises the kid for doing the right thing. To be honest, the kid threatened to kill three people. Haul him off to jail, TC! DO YOUR JOB, BICYCLE BOY!

I swear, this show….

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After five years of kinky sex and murder, the Body Chemistry franchise ended with Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure.

Like the third film, Full Exposure was directed by Jim Wynorski and produced by Andrew Stevens. Shannon Tweed stepped into the role of murderous Dr. Claire Archer, replacing Shari Shattuck. Shannon Tweed was always one of the most talented of the actresses who regularly appeared on what was then nicknamed Skinemax. It wasn’t just that Tweed always seemed to being give it her all in her films’ frequent sex scenes. Tweed also had the look and style of an old-fashioned femme fatale. It was easy to imagine her trading sultry quips with Alan Ladd or Tom Neal. This made Tweed perfect for the role of Claire Archer and her performance was a noticeable improvement on Shari Shattuck’s. It’s just too bad the rest of the film was such a snoozefest.

In Full Exposure, after getting away with three murders in the first two Body Chemistry films, Claire has finally been arrested. She is on trial for killing Alan Clay (Andrew Stevens) at the end of the third film. However, she has a hotshot lawyer named Simon Mitchell (Larry Poindexter) and she is soon up to her old tricks, having sex with Simon in his office, a parking garage, and an elevator. Simon’s aide, Lane (Marta Martin), has come across proof of Claire’s crimes but Claire has a plan to take care of that. She always does.

Full Exposure starts out as a typical Body Chemistry film, with neon-lit sex scenes, but it quickly get bogged down in lengthy courtroom sequences. In the previous three films, Claire at least had some sort of motivation but here, it’s never clear why she would try to destroy her lawyer’s life during the trial instead of waiting until he had, at least, gotten her off the hook. Tweed is a perfect Claire but the rest of the cast is just going through the motions. Though Claire once again got away with murder, there were no more chapters to her story after this one. The Body Chemistry franchise managed to do a lot with a very thin premise but Full Exposure shows, that by the fourth film, there was no where left to go.