Kiki Shepard | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, a detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, it’s all about the voodoo!

Episode 2.7 “Curse of the Mirrored Box”

(Dir by Jon Cassar, originally aired on November 10th, 1996)

Mitch is contacted by Celia (Tracey Ross), the mother of a girl named Annie who Mitch once saved from drowning. (Ryan is a bit dumbfounded that Mitch apparently keeps in contract with the people that he has saved as a lifeguard and, to be honest, so am I. I mean, I bing watched Baywatch two years ago and Mitch saved a lot of people!) Annie (Maria Celedonio) is now a rebellious teenager and has apparently joined a Voodoo cult!

(Seriously, Annie, way to repay Mitch for saving you from the ocean!)

Mitch and Ryan’s attempts to free Annie from the cult bring them into conflict with the leader of the cult, Papa Doc (Adam Lazarre-White). Papa Doc puts a voodoo curse on Mitch and, as a result, the episode is full of moments in which Mitch goes into a glassy-eyed trance.

For the most part, not much happens in this episode. It doesn’t take Mitch and Ryan that long to track down the cult and it also doesn’t take them that long to track down a voodoo priestess (Kiki Shepard) who can help them battle Papa Doc. It’s a bit of slow episode and it’s portrayal of voodoo and its practitioners reaches back to every cliche and stereotype imaginable. There’s a lot of dancing. There’s a lot of altars. There’s a lot of close-ups of Papa Doc chanting. Basically, it’s Live and Let Die in Malibu, without the swagger of Yaphet Kotto, the charm of Roger Moore, or the otherworldly beauty of Jane Seymour.

But no matter! The episode works because you haven’t lived until you’ve seen David Hasselhoff pretend to be possessed by a voodoo priest. The Hoff has never been a particularly subtle actor. That’s always been a part of his charm. When you combine his natural style with scenes of him shaking, bugging out his eyes, and trying to shake the evil spirts out of his head, you have a Hasselhoff performance for the ages.

It makes for an entertaining episode, even if it’s not one of the show’s more memorable ones. Hasselhoff’s possessed performance saves the day. It’s amazing what a little magic and a voodoo doll can do.

One final note: After being absent for the last few episodes (albeit still listed in the opening credits), both Donna D’Errico and Eddie Cibrian appear in this episode. Neither really gets to do much, reminding us once again that the show’s writers were never really sure what to do with either Donna or Griff. Dorian Gregory (who played Daimont) does not appear, which is odd as it seems like Daimont would have been the first person that Ryan would have called once it become obvious that Mitch was cursed. Seriously, what’s the point of being friends with a mysterious occult expert if you can’t find him when you need him?

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Baywatch Nights, an detective show that ran in Syndication from 1995 to 1997. The entire show is currently streaming on Youtube!

This week, Mitch, Ryan, and Lou are held hostage!

Episode 1.7 “Pressure Cooker”

(Dir by Gus Trikonis, originally aired on November 11, 1995)

Episode seven of Baywatch Nights opens with Mitch and Garner, once again, whining about their job. They have been hired to work undercover in a fried chicken restaurant that has been robbed five times. Garner wears a chicken costume and greets the customers. Mitch works in the kitchen. This is not the type of work that Mitch and Garner had in mind when they decided to become part-time private investigators.

In his opening voice over, Mitch says that sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to pay your bills. Here’s the thing, though. Mitch is a lifeguard. He’s not just a lifeguard but he’s one of the top lifeguards in California. So, no, he doesn’t need to work as a private eye to pay his bills. I don’t care how much Mitch complains about the job. I think he just secretly enjoys working as a cook in a fast food restaurant. And good for him, if that’s the case! Myself, I like fried chicken and I respect anyone who cooks it for a living.

Eventually, the scummy Sosa brothers show up at the restaurant and try to rob the place. Garner and Mitch are able to stop the robbery but they only manage to capture one brother, Manny Sosa (Cliff Dorfman). Duke (Joseph Spencer) and Nick Sosa (Rich Werner) escape.

Later, Duke and Nick show up at Nights, which is the nightclub that doubles as the office of the detective agency. Because it’s the afternoon, Nights is not open to general public but that doesn’t stop Duke and Nick from taking Mitch, Ryan, and Lou Raymond (Lou Rawls) hostage. (Lou is the owner of Nights. Despite the fact that Lou Rawls was prominently featured in the opening credits of each episode, this is only his second appearance on the show.) Duke demands that Manny be released from prison or he’s going to start shooting hostages!

While they wait out the situation, Lou plays the piano and sings a song while Duke dances with Ryan. Meanwhile, Garner waits outside the club with the police and the press. Eventually, reporter Stormy Walters (Sandra Dee Robinson) is invited to enter the club with her crew so that she can interview Duke and get some footage of him dancing with Ryan. Garner puts on a fake beard and pretends to be Stormy’s sound guy.

As soon as Mitch sees Garner, he nudges Ryan and says, “It’s Garner!” Even though Mitch whispers, it still seems like a reckless thing to point out when there’s two gun-toting maniacs in the club. Fortunately, the Sosa brothers are pretty stupid so Mitch, Garner, and Ryan are able to give them a beat down. Unfortunately, before the situation is resolved, both Lou and Garner are shot but, apparently, not seriously.

This episode …. eh. As I’ve said elsewhere on this site, I am just not a fan of shows about hostage situations. As soon as the Sosa brothers show up at the club, the narrative momentum comes to a grinding halt and all that’s left is 30 minutes of sweaty losers pointing guns at people and shouting. It gets a little boring. As well, the Sosas were so stupid that, even when they were shooting people, it was difficult to take them seriously as dangerous criminals. They were just idiots.

Next week, we get the origin story as we learn how Mitch and Garner came to work with Ryan in the first place!