Horror Film Review: Old (dir by M. Night Shyamalan)


An odd film, Old.

Seriously, 2019’s Old is so odd that I feel the need to point out repeatedly just how strange it is.  As I watched the film, I respected it’s dedication to being odd but, at the same time, I was a bit surprised that it was directed by M. Night Shyamalan.  For all of the fame that he’s gained for his twist endings and his suspenseful films, Shyamalan has always aspired to being a member of the Hollywood mainstream.  As such, his films are usually twisty without being transgressive.  He’s usually careful about alienating the audience.

But then, he makes something like Old, which features a group of people going to the beach and aging a year every 30 minutes.  This group includes middle-aged people (and wow, are they ever in trouble) but it also includes young children who quickly become teenager and then quickly become adults and, by the end of the film, are middle-aged and walking around in ill-fitting swim suits.  Along the way, there’s a 10-minute pregnancy, a baby that only lives for a few seconds because it’s aging too quickly, and a blood infection that kills within seconds.  Eyesight and hearing fades.  Bones snap.  Bodies quickly decay.  Aging sucks.

It’s not a happy film at all.  Yes, the movie does end with a minor victory but it still leaves the remaining characters in a sort of mental and emotional limbo, the type that you know they’re never going to escape.  The majority of the characters die and often, they die graphically and painfully.  Under normal circumstances, they would have died over the course of several years and, at the very least, people would have time to grieve in between.  On the cursed beach of Old, people die one after the other and there’s no time to grieve.  Two character do manage to make some sort of peace with themselves before they age to death but the majority of the characters go out railing against that dark night.  One of the most disturbing things about the film is that the characters have no control over what is happening to them.  Even when they try to leave the beach, they pass out and reawaken on the sand, a few years older.  I guess it’s like life.  There is no escape and there’s no way to prevent getting older.  Some will age well and live a full life.  Others will randomly get sick and die and, in the end, there’s no way to control which will be which.

Seriously, that’s depressing!  I’m not used to M. Night Shyamalan being that depressing!  But then I discovered that this movie was based on a French-language graphic novel and it all made sense.

The people on the beach are played by a talented group of actors, with several different performers playing the rapidly aging children over the course of the film.  Rufus Sewell gives a good performance as a surgeon who cracks under the pressure.  I was happy to see one of my favorite actors, Ken Leung, on the beach but I wasn’t particularly happy with what happened to his character.

It’s a strange film.  Say what you will about Shyamalan and his career has definitely been uneven, he can still deliver when he has the right material.

Horror Film Review: Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (dir by John Harrison)


First released in 1990 and based on a horror-themed television series that was created by the one-and-only George Romero, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie is an anthology film.  Usually, I can’t stand anthology films because it seems like the viewer only gets one good story and has to sit through two or three mediocre stories to get to the worthwhile stuff.  However, I have to say that I really enjoyed all of the stories featured in Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.

The film opens with a wrap-around story, featuring Timmy (Matthew Lawrence), a young boy who is chained up in a pantry and who a local witch named Betty (Debbie Harry) is planning on cooking for a dinner party.  Timmy tries to distract Betty from her kitchen duties by telling her three stories.

The first story features Steve Buscemi as a nerdy college student named Edward Bellingham.  On the verge of getting a much-needed scholarship, Edward is framed for theft by two of his classmates (one of whom is played by Julianne Moore) and loses the scholarship.  Edward responds by doing what anyone would do.  He unrolls an ancient parchment and brings to life a mummy who kills his rivals.  A very preppy Christian Slater plays Andy, the smug brother of one of the victims who seeks revenge against Bellingham.  In a surprise twist, Bellingham is able to get some vengeance of his own.

The second story features William Hickey as Drogan, an annoying old man who is convinced that he is being stalked by an evil black cat.  Drogan hires a hitman (David Johansen) to kill the cat but, as we all know, black cats are far more clever than anyone realizes.  The story ends on a notably grisly note because cats rule!

Finally, the third story features James Remar as a struggling artist who, one night, discovers that the stone gargoyle that sits atop of his apartment building is actually alive.  After witnessing the gargoyle kill someone, the artist promises never to reveal that the gargoyle exists.  “Cross your heart?” the gargoyle asks before flying away.  Later, the artist meets a mysterious woman (Rae Dawn Chong) who helps him to become a success on the art scene.  However, even after he marries the woman and they start a family, Remar is still haunted by his memories of the gargoyle.

As I said at the start of this review, I’m not a huge fan of anthology films but I really liked Tales From The Darkside: The Movie.  All three of the stories are equally good and there’s really not a slow spot to be found.  This is a horror anthology that manages to balance scares and laughs without becoming too silly or forgetting that the movie is meant to be a horror story.  Steve Buscemi, Christian Slater, and James Remar are stand-outs amongst the cast.  Even the wrap-around story had a good ending!

If you’re going to watch an anthology film for Halloween, allow me to recommend Tales From The Darkside: The Movie!