Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez | Through the Shattered Lens

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, Crockett and Tubbs discover a judge may be taking bribes.

Episode 2.19 “The Fix”

(Dir by Dick Miller, originally aired on March 7th, 1986)

Roger Ferguson (Bill Russell) is a powerful man in Miami. A former basketball player turned lawyer, Ferguson could have been elected mayor but instead, he chose to take an appointment to the bench. In his art deco courtroom, Judge Ferguson hands down sentences and sets bail. In fact, sometimes, he sets bail at a surprisingly low amount. After a drug lord is released on a $5,000 bond and immediately catches a plane for Colombia, Crockett and Tubbs come to suspect that the Judge might be taking bribes.

And he is! Judge Ferguson has a gambling problem and a corrupt lawyer named Benedict (Harvey Fierstein, clean-shaved but recognizable from the minute he starts to speak) is taking advantage of that fact. In fact, Ferguson is so in debt that he’s had to borrow from a notorious loan shark named Pagone (Michael Richards — yes, the future Kramer from Seinfeld). Pagone is now demanding that the judge convince his son, a basketball player named Matt (Bernard King), to throw his next game.

There were some good things about this episode. It was directed by Dick Miller and yes, that is the same Dick Miller who, as a character actor, appeared in countless Roger Corman films. As a director, Miller had a good sense of style. The opening sequence, where the Vice Squad arrests a drug lord at an aviary, is genuinely exciting and well-done. There was also some moments of genuine humor, largely supplied by the contrast between Crockett’s intensity and Tubbs’s laid-back cool.

The problem is with the casting, some of which is not entirely the show’s fault. In 1986, no one knew that casting Harvey Fierstein and Michael Richards as ruthless villains would come across as being unintentionally humorous in 2024. Richards does not give a bad performance as Pagone but, whenever he threatens the judge, he sounds just like Kramer demanding the day off for Festivus. As for Bill Russell and Bernard King, I looked them up on Wikipedia after watching the show and I was not surprised to discover that they were both actual basketball players. Both of them gave earnest performances but it was easy to see that neither one of them was a natural or a trained actor. It wasn’t quite as bad as when actual basketball players used to show up on Hang Time but still, they definitely seemed to be struggling to keep up with the veteran actors in the cast.

This is yet another episode that ends with Crockett staring in horror as someone is shot on a yacht. (In this case, it’s Judge Ferguson committing suicide after killing Pagone.) Seriously, what was the yacht budget for this show?

This week, two supporting players get an episode all their own.

Episode 1.18 “Made For Each Other”

(Dir by Rob Cohen, originally aired on March 8th, 1985)

After spending most of the first season as background comedic relief, Detectives Switek (Michael Talbott) and Zito (John Diehl) are at the center of this week’s episode of Miami Vice.

With the Vice Squad trying to make a case against criminal fence John Costeleda (Johnny “Vatos” Hernandez), Switek and Zito recruit two informants — Noogie (Charlie Barnett) and Izzy (Martin Ferrero) — and send them in undercover to get close to Costeleda’s lieutenant, an electronic store owner named “Bonzo” Barry Gold (Mark Linn-Baker). For once, it’s Zito and Switek who are pushing ethical boundaries to take down the bad guy though, notably, they never get quite as angsty about it as either Crockett or Tubbs. If Crockett and Tubbs are secretly aware that they’re fighting a losing war against crime, Switek and Zito are a bit more earnest in their outlook.

This episode also takes a look at Switek and Zito’s life outside of Vice. Zito likes to take care of fish and is something of an eccentric. Switek is dating Darlene (Ellen Greene), who used to date Zito. Switek is also a big fan of Elvis, though Darlene has tossed almost all of his Elvis stuff out of the apartment and instead replaced it with pictures of Princess Diana and baby Harry. (Prince Harry’s father is not seen in any of the pictures. Neither is the future King Charles III.) When Zito’s house explodes due to a gas leak, he moves in with Switek and Darlene. Darlene is not particularly happy about that and, by the end of the episode, Switek has decided that his partner is more important to him than his girlfriend. As the title says, Switek and Zito are made for each other.

I like the fact that Miami Vice would occasionally allow people other than Crockett and Tubbs to headline an episode. After all, the show is called Miami Vice and there’s more to the Vice Squad than just Crockett’s houseboat and Tubbs’s fake Jamaican accent. Michael Talbott and especially John Diehl are both likable in their roles, with Diehl in particular making Zito into the type of strange guy who you can’t help but love. That said, this episode was a bit too silly for its own good. It would have been interesting to see Zito and Switek go after the type of criminals that Crockett and Tubbs regularly went after but instead, Costeleda was too much of a buffoon to really be a serious threat. The emphasis here was on comedy but Miami Vice works better as a serious show with funny moments than as a funny show with serious moments.

It was nice to see that Zito and Switek were made for each other but, otherwise, this episode never worked as well as one might hope.