Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves”

Posted on August 18, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Miami Vice, which ran on NBC from 1984 to 1989. The entire show can be purchased on Prime!

This week, a man kills for his dolls.

Episode 4.16 “Honor Among Thieves?”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on March 4th, 1988)

A serial killer named Paul Delgado (John Bowman and no, we’re not related as far as I know) is killing girls in Miami. He believes that he’s being ordered to kill by his collection of dolls and, when he’s speaking as a doll, he uses a high-pitched voice. He picks women up at carnivals or on the beach and he kills them by injecting them with 100% pure cocaine. He poses their bodies with a doll beside them.

Because of the cocaine connection, homicide detective Jarrell (Dylan Baker) approaches Castillo. Castillo explains that his best men are working deep undercover, trying to take down a drug lord named Palmo (Ramy Zada). That’s right, this is yet another episode where Crockett pretends to be Burnett and Tubbs pretends to be Cooper and somehow, they’re able to get away with it despite the fact that their cover has been blown in almost every previous episode.

Delgado works for Palmo and things get even more complicated when it turns out that Delgado is Crockett and Tubbs’s connection inside Palmo’s operation. When Palmo discovers that Delgado is the killer, he puts Delgado on trial. The jury is made up of other drug dealers. Since Crockett is pretending to be a lawyer, he’s assigned to serve as Delgado’s defense counsel. Palmo tells Crockett that, unless he’s acquitted by the drug dealer jury, he’ll reveal that Crockett and Tubbs are working undercover….

This was a weird episode, It didn’t really work because Delgado was a bit too cartoonish to be taken seriously. Perhaps if the show had just made him a serial killer who killed women with cocaine, it would have worked. But the show had to go the extra step and have him talk to his dolls in a high-pitched voice. As well, this was yet another episode where we were forced to wonder if people in the Miami underworld just don’t communicate with each other. After all the drug lords that have been busted by Crockett and Tubbs, you would think that word would eventually get out about “Burnett” and “Cooper.” I mean, their cover gets blown in nearly every episode. Frank Zappa put a bounty on Crockett’s head in season 2! And yet somehow, Crockett and Tubbs are still able to walk into a drug lord’s mansion, introduce themselves as Burnett and Cooper, and not automatically get shot.

There were some definite problems with this episode but it was weird enough to at least hold one’s attention. As opposed to the episodes with the aliens and the bull semen, this episode didn’t seem like it was trying too hard to be weird. Instead, it just was genuinely weird. It was watchable and, as far as the fourth season of Miami Vice is concerned, that definitely counts as an accomplishment.

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

Posted on September 16, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, things get weird in Miami!

Episode 2.22 “Trust Fund Pirates”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on May 2ns 1986)

Pirate radio DJ Captain Hook (Richard Belzer) sits on his yacht in international waters and broadcasts music to Miami while, at the same time, brokering drug deals among other yacht owners. His assistant is Noogie (Charlie Barnett), the informant who was all over the place during Miami Vice’s first season but who, up until this episode, was absent from the second season.

On another yacht, a group of Bolivians are gunned down by preppy young men who are led by Ivy League dropout Skip Mueller (Perry Lang). Skip and his buddies brag about being pirates and cheerfully make jokes while standing over the bodies of the men and the women that they killed.

A seaplane pilot named Jackson Crane (a young Gary Cole) raids the Bolivian yacht and takes some of the boat’s equipment home with him. Jackson is a longtime drug smuggler who claims that he’s on the verge of retirement. He’s dating a woman named Lani (Nicole Fosse), who happens to be Skip’s sister.

In a trailer park, Jumbo (Tommy Chong) and his wife Fluffy (Denny Dillon) keep a running tally of how many rats they’ve killed while trying to buy drugs and fence stolen goods. Jumbo calls everyone “man.” Fluffy is good with a shotgun.

And, in the middle of all this, we’ve got two aspiring drug dealers named Burnett and Cooper. Burnett and Cooper, of course, are actually Crockett and Tubbs. Just two episodes ago, one of Miami’s fiercest drug lords figured out that Burnett and Cooper are actually cops but I guess he decided not to tell anyone, despite the fact that he still thinks Crockett owes him money.

It’s a bizarre episode, full of strange characters and a plot that has so many double-crosses that it’s hard to keep track of who is betraying who. The episode was originally intended to be a sequel to Smuggler’s Blues, with Glenn Frey once again playing Jimmy the Pilot. When Frey couldn’t fit a return appearance into his schedule, the script was rewritten to feature Gary Cole as a friend of Jimmy’s. That said, it’s still obvious that the script was originally written more to highlight a popular guest star than to tell a totally coherent story.

Fortunately, Miami Vice works best when its a bit incoherent. One the major themes of the show is that no one can be trusted and that everyone is willing to betray everyone else. The world of Miami Vice is often illogical because it’s a world full of illogical people who tend to do whatever pops into their head at any given moment. Another major theme is that everyone either wants to get rich from selling drugs or they’re just adrenaline junkies who get a high from being involved in the underground. Skip and his friends are rich. They just enjoy killing people and pretending to be gangsters. This is one of the more violent and bloody episodes of Miami Vice. Skip and his friends enjoy their work a little too much.

It’s a good episode and well-acted. Gary Cole was considered for the role of Crockett before Don Johnson got the part and, in this episode, it’s easy to see why. Even as a young actor, Cole has a rugged cynicism to him that’s both dangerous and compelling. Perry Lang appeared in a lot of dumb teen comedies in the 80s, usually playing dorky nice guys. He’s absolutely chilling as the sociopathic Skip Mueller. And finally, there’s Richard Belzer, wearing an eyepatch, opening the episode by rapping with Noogie, and encouraging the criminals of Miami to enjoy some good music while breaking the law. Full of strange characters and shocking violence, this episode captures the idea of Miami being a surreal playground for the rich, ruthless, and crazy.

Next week, season 2 comes to an end!

Retro Television Review: Miami Vice 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”

Posted on February 26, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we learn the cost of working Vice.

Episode 2.4 “Out Where The Buses Don’t Run”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on October 18th, 1985)

This is it. This is the episode that is regularly cited as being one of the best, if not the best, episodes that Miami Vice ever aired. Out Where The Buses Don’t Run takes a look at the psychological costs of spending one’s life obsessing on crime and justice. What starts out as a comedy turns into the bleakest episode of the show so far.

Things get off to a great start, with Crockett and Tubbs pursuing a drug dealer on the beach. While The Who’s Baba O’Riley plays on the soundtrack, the dealer roller skates down a sidewalk and a preacher (played by Little Richard) sends his young congregation out to collect money. As Crockett and Tubbs wait for their chance to arrest the dealer, someone watches them from a nearby window and takes pictures. Crockett asks Tubbs if he ever gets the feeling that he’s being watched.

The man taking the pictures turns out to be Hank Weldon (Bruce McGill), a former Vice cop who quit the force six years prior when a case that he had spent three years making fell apart and a drug lord was set free on a technicality. The drug lord vanished after the case against him was thrown out and it’s assumed that he was murdered by his associates. Hank, however, insists that the drug lord is still alive and he’s returned to Miami. He wants Crockett and Tubbs to help him finally catch the criminal that evaded him all those years before.

A quick check with Weldon’s former partner, Marty Lang (David Strathairn), reveals that Weldon left the force after he had a nervous breakdown and he’s spent the past few years in a mental facility. The loud and flamboyant Weldon is obviously still unstable but Crockett and Tubbs cannot shake the feeling that he might know what he’s talking about.

And, as is revealed at this end of this episode, they’re right …. kind of. Weldon does know where the missing drug lord is. The drug lord is walled up in an abandoned building. He’s been there since 1979. At the end of episode, with Tubbs, Crockett, Castillo, and Lang watching, Weldon tears down the wall and reveals the decayed skeleton of the drug lord. Weldon announces that he murdered him and walled him up. Lang then reveals that he helped.

“He was my partner,” Lang says, “Understand?”

Crockett understands and the audience understands as well. When Weldon’s obsession drove him crazy, Lang was the only one to whom he could turn. And Lang, being his partner, was the only one who understood how he felt. Lang may have been a cop but his number one loyalty was to his partner, just as Crockett’s number one loyalty will always be to Tubbs.

As played by Bruce McGill, Hank Weldon goes from being a cheerful eccentric to a bitter and paranoid lunatic to, finally, a man who can no longer stand to hide what he’s done. It’s an excellent performance that keeps the audience guessing. He may be a murderer and he’s obviously still unstable but your heart can’t help but break for him. The combination of Jim Johnston’s moody direction, a perfect collection of songs on the soundtrack, and the performances of Bruce McGill and David Strathairn really do come together to make this an excellent episode. In the end, it’s hard not to feel that Crockett and Tubbs are both one step away from becoming Weldon and Lang themselves.

Retro Television Reviews: Miami Vice 1.20 “Nobody Lives Forever”

Posted on January 29, 2024 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Sorry, it’s been a busy day and I’m a little bit medicated and, as a result, this review is posting later than expected. Fortunately, this week’s episode is also about someone struggling to keep up with their schedule. Read on!

Episode 1.20 “Nobody Lives Forever”

(Dir by Jim Johnston, originally aired on March 29th, 1985)

Nobody lives forever, the title tells us. That’s certainly true in 1980s Miami.

Three teenage punks have gone on a crime spree, killing innocent civilians and criminals alike. The punks (who are played by Frank Military, Michael Carmine, and Lionel Chute) are initially easy to laugh off because of how over the top they are. When they decide to go to the beach and rob a bookie, they start chanting, “Bookie! Bookie!” But, just because they’re ludicrous, that doesn’t make them any less dangerous. From the very first scene, they’re shooting at people and laughing like maniacs. As informant Izzy Moreno puts it, these are three guys who know that “they’re already dead.” They’ve got both the police and the mob (represented by Peter Friedman and a young Giancarlo Esposito) after them. They might as well go out in a blaze of glory.

What else would you expect from three people who drive this car?

Vice is after the teenagers but, for once, Sonny Crockett has got other things on his mind. Sonny is dating a wealthy architect named Brenda (Kim Greist) and he’s spending all of his free time at her mansion. Even when he’s working the streets, Sonny is thinking about Brenda. He misses a chance to capture the three teens because he is too busy talking to Brenda on the phone. Later, Tubbs gets severely beaten up because Brenda allowed Sonny to oversleep and Tubbs had to go on a stakeout alone.

Brenda asks Sonny if it’s true that a cop partnership is like a marriage and this episode certainly suggests it is and an obsessive one at that. All of the members of the Vice Squad get annoyed with Sonny for finding happiness off the grubby streets of Miami. Castillo doesn’t think Sonny is focused. Tubbs thinks that Sonny is losing his edge. Gina is upset that Sonny led her on earlier in the season. Switek and Zito …. well, they’re too busy reading comic books to really care much about Sonny’s problems.

There are several artfully composed shots of Sonny and Brenda floating in her pool and discussing how Sonny can go from having a gun pulled on him to relaxing at home without missing a beat. Don Johnson and Kim Greist had a lot of chemistry and it’s impossible not to feel bad when Sonny realizes that he can either be Brenda’s lover or he can be a cop but he can’t be both.

In the end, the punks end up getting gunned down by Vice and Sonny ends the best relationship he’s ever had. And Tubbs? He sits on the beach and plays his saxophone.