Tag Archives: Jennifer Runyon

Retro Television Reviews: The Master 1.4 “Hostages”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing The Master, which ran on NBC from January to August of 1984. The show can be found on Tubi!

This week, The Master teams up with an old enemy.

Episode 1.4 “Hostages”

(Dir by Ray Austin, originally aired on February 10th, 1984)

“Hi, I’m Max Keller….”

This episode of The Master opens with Max (Timothy Van Patten) flying high above California in a motorized hang glider.  Apparently, this is the latest part of Max’s ninja training, though I have to wonder where the hang glider came from and whether or not being able to use a hang glider is a specific ninja skill.  The more I think about it, the more it seems that McAllister (Lee Van Cleef) is just leading Max on for his own amusement.

Max spots a woman (Jennifer Runyon, who later took over the role of Marcia Brady in A Very Brady Christmas) who is sitting behind the wheel of an out-of-control car.  Apparently, the brakes have failed and the car will soon careen over the side of a cliff!  Max swoops down and rescues the woman, minute before her car crashes and explodes.

The woman is Alice Clayton, the extremely talkative daughter of U.S. Senator Sam Clayton (Robert Dowdell).  Don’t worry, no one was trying to kill her.  The brakes just failed on their own.  A grateful Alice invites Max and McAllister to come to a party that the senator is throwing at his hillside mansion.

Soon, Max and McAllister are wearing tuxedos and hanging out at the party.  A CIA agent named Malory (one-time Bond star, George Lazenby) recognizes McAllister and accuses him of running a “subversive ninja school.”  Meanwhile, by an amazing coincidence, Okasa (Sho Kosugi) — McAllister’s former student who has taken a vow to kill him — also happens to be at the party.  He even takes the time to throw a ninja star at McAllister.

But that’s not all!  The party is also crashed by a group of terrorists, lead by Serena (Randi Brooks) and Castile (David McCallum).  The terrorists kidnaps Alice, her father, and the wives of several European diplomats.  The head of the CIA (Monte Markham) orders McAllister and Malory to set aside their differences and to rescue the hostages.  Max also decides to help which means that the hang glider makes another appearance as Max soars above the terrorist compound.

Lee Van Cleef’s stunt double gets quite a workout in this episode of The Master.  Not only do Okasa and McAllister have a brief fight but McAllister also gets to take on an entire compound full of terrorists.  Of course, McAllister wears his full of ninja uniform while doing all of this, all the better to hopefully keep us from noticing that Lee Van Cleef isn’t the one doing all of the kicking and hitting.  And I will say that, in this episode, the fights were fairly well-done.  The plot was predictable but the fights were probably about as exciting as you could hope from a network television show that aired in the 80s.

Other than the fights, the best thing about this episode was the chance to see George Lazenby playing a character who was Bond in everything but the name.  Lazenby himself has said that one of the reasons he struggled with the role of James Bond was because he was too young when he starred in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service.  In this episode of The Master, Lazenby is older and a bit more weathered and he’s totally believable as a spy who is tough but who still enjoys the better things in life.  As well, David McCallum does a good job as the cynical terrorist, though his character isn’t really given much to do.

I actually kind of enjoyed this episode of The Master.  As opposed to the previous three episodes, it focused on the action and it didn’t really have any slow spots.  It was a fun episode.

Holiday Film Review: To All A Good Night (dir by David Hess)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

To All A Goodnight, a holiday-themed horror film from 1980, opens with a particularly macabre hazing.  One teenage girl runs through a mansion, eventually ending up at the edge of a balcony.  A bunch of other teenage girls surround her, in what I assume is meant to be a sorority initiation.  Over the edge of the balcony the first girl goes, plunging to her death.  AGCK!  Actually, it would perhaps a bit more effective if not for the fact that the shot of the girl plunging to her death was shot with a very obvious dummy.

Two years later, on the Friday before Christmas, none of the students at the Calvin Finishing School For Girls seem to remember or care about the accident that led to the death of one of their classmates.  Instead, they are too busy getting ready for Christmas break.  Most are heading home but a few are planning on staying at the school.  One of the girls explains that her superrich boyfriend is going to be flying his private plane to the school and he’s bringing along a few of his friends.  Yay!  Everyone gets a date!  They just have to make sure that they’re not caught by the housemother (Kiva Lawrence) or Ralph (Buck West), the weirdo handyman who spends a lot of time telling the girls that something evil is going to happen.

The plane lands.  (Viewers will want to keep an eye out for porn star Harry Reems, playing the pilot.)  The boys invade the school.  Guitars are played.  Love is made.  Philosophies are discussed.  And it turns out that Ralph was correct.  Evil things happen.  Someone has dressed up like Santa Claus and is committing murder!  The girls eventually call the police and Detective Polansky (Sam Shamshak) leaves behind two other detectives to keep an eye on the place.  For whatever reason, it never seems to occur to anyone to just leave the school and maybe stay at a hotel or something.  I mean, the plane is right there!

To All A Goodnight is a fairly generic, low-budget slasher.  The acting is stiff.  The lighting is so haphazard that it’s actually a challenge to keep track of whether a scene is taking place during the day or at night.  There are several character but none of them have enough of a personality to really make an impression.  It’s a challenge to keep track of who is who.  More than a few times, I found myself saying, “I thought she was dead.”

There are two things that make this film memorable.

First off, To All A Goodnight was released on January 30th, 1980.  That was a month too late to take advantage of the holiday connection but, at the same time, that also makes it the first slasher of the 80s.  Friday the 13th would not be released until May.  Much like the first Friday the 13th, To All A Goodnight is basically an American version of an Italian giallo film, with the emphasis on the whodunit aspect of the plot.

Secondly, To All A Goodnight was the only film to be directed by David Hess, the songwriter-turned-actor who was best known for playing Krug in the original Last House On The Left.  (Fans of Italian cinema, of course, know him for his turn as the main psycho in The House On The Edge of the Park.)  With the exception of one nicely surreal moment in which one of the students has a nervous breakdown and starts to dance during the film’s final confrontation, there’s nothing particularly memorable about Hess’s direction.  The film was obviously shot quickly and for little money so it’s not easy to say whether Hess would have improved as a filmmaker with more time and a bigger budget.

To All A Goodnight was one of the first of the Santa Claus slasher films but it would certainly not be the last.  Something about jolly old St. Nick just seems to bring out the macabre in certain filmmakers.

Retro Television Reviews: A Very Brady Christmas (dir by Peter Baldwin)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1988’s A Very Brady Christmas!

In A Very Brady Christmas, America’s creepiest family reunites for the holidays.

Mike and Carol Brady (played by Robert Reed and Florence Henderson, of course) have finally got their house to themselves!  The children have all moved out.  A few have even gotten married and started families of their own.  Mike is still an architect, though he now has a mustache that, along with his gray hair, makes him look more like a retired porn actor.

With Christmas approaching, Mike and Carol have each been secretly saving up their money to give the other a trip.  Carol knows that Mike loves Greece.  Mike suspects that Carol would love to go to Japan.  In the end, though, they realize that they would much rather have the entire family come together for Christmas!  They buy tickets for everyone.  Of course, what they don’t know is that each of the Brady kids has an issue of their own.

For instance, consider the youngest of the Brady kids.  Cindy isn’t even herself anymore, mostly because Susan Olsen declined to return for the reunion and Jennifer Runyon was cast in her place.  Cindy is away at college and she’s upset that she has to cancel her plans to go skiing just so she can spend the holidays with her family.  Meanwhile, Bobby (Mike Lookinland) has dropped out of college so that he can race cars on the NASCAR circuit but he hasn’t told his parents yet!  Of course, if Bobby never tells them, he can just keep pocketing that sweet, sweet tuition money.

Meanwhile, Peter Brady (Christopher Knight) is upset because his girlfriend is his boss and she makes considerably more money than he does.  Jan (Eve Plumb) is secretly separated from her husband but, because it’s the holidays, they agree to pretend to still be together so that Mike and Carol don’t get upset.  Greg (Barry Williams) has grown up to be a smarmy doctor but he is upset that his wife will not be joining him for Christmas with his parents.  And Marcia (Maureen McCormick) is trying to keep everyone from discovering that her loser husband has lost his job.

And let’s not forget Alice (Anne B. Davis)!  Alice finally married Sam The Butcher but their marriage is on the rocks….

Could the Bradys be more cursed?

Luckily, Mike and Carol are pretty good at uncovering problems and fixing things.  (Except, of course, for that time that Mike never figured out that Marcia was acting strange because she wanted to surprise him with his father of the year prize….)  Unfortunately, Mike is a bit distracted because his latest building was constructed with cheap material.  When an earthquake causes the building collapse, Mike takes it upon himself to rescue two trapped workers.  (Most of this takes place off-screen, of course.)  When an aftershock hits, it seems like Mike might never emerge from the tomb that he helped to design.

Much like the show that inspired it, A Very Brady Christmas is painfully earnest and …. well, it’s a little dumb.  Of course, the main appeal of The Brady Bunch was always the unapologetic mix of earnestness and stupidity but it’s a bit different when all the Brady kids are grown up and they’re still acting just as dumb as they did when they were younger.  Robert Reed looks annoyed.  Florence Henderson is trouper and gives it her all.  With the notable exception of Maureen McCormick, none of the kids grew up to be particularly good actors.  (In all fairness, Barry Williams is likable when he makes fun of himself but, in this film, he’s somewhat stiff as the most successful of the Brady kids.)  That said, the family singing a Christmas carol while waiting to discover whether or not Mike is dead is one of those moments that is somehow both silly and effective at the same time.  It’s pure Brady Bunch.  To quote Tony Montana, it’s the yayo of nostalgia.

A Very Brady Christmas aired in 1988 and was enough of a rating success that it actually led to the Brady Bunch being (briefly) revived.  Today, it’s impossible to watch the movie without imagining Gary Cole and Shelley Long as Mike and Carol Brady.  Even the collapse of the building is no longer an effective dramatic moment due to it being referenced in The Brady Bunch Movie.  When Mike does emerge from that collapsed building, you half expect him to say, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

In the end, the Bradys have a merry Christmas.  I hope you have one too!

Cinemax Friday: Killing Streets (1991, directed by Stephen Cornwell)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

Most of the time, late night Cinemax was dominated by noirish films starring Shannon Tweed but, occasionally, the network did slip in a low-budget action flick.  Killing Streets is a typical example of one of those films.

A Marine named Craig Brandt (Michael Pare) has disappeared in Beirut so his twin brother Chris (also played by Michael Pare) flies all the way over from Dayton, Ohio to search for him.  Even though everyone says that Craig’s dead, Chris knows that it isn’t true because, as a twin, he and Craig have a psychic connection.  It turns out, of course, that Chris is right.  Craig is being held prisoner by terrorist leader Abdel (Alon Aboutboul).  Chris is determined to rescue Craig, even though Charles (Lorenzo Lamas), an official at the American embassy, orders him to leave the country.  Chris may just be a high school basketball coach but that doesn’t stop him from going all Jack Bauer on every terrorist that he meets.  With the help of diplomat Sandra Ross (Jennifer Runyon) and Gilad (Gabi Amrani), the Middle East’s most helpful taxi driver, Chris sets out to rescue his brother.

When I started watching Killing Streets, I was excited because, according to the opening credits, it starred Lorenzo Lamas and it was produced by Menahem Golan.  Unfortunately, for the most of the movie, Lamas doesn’t get to do much other than bark out orders in one of the least convincing Southern accents that I’ve ever heard.  Instead, the first part of the movie is all about Michael Pare.  Michael Pare usually isn’t capable of showing enough emotion to be convincing as one character.  Now, imagine him playing two characters.  While one Michael Pare is walking around Beirut and searching for clues, the other Michael Pare is sitting in a cell and getting beaten and, since they both always have the same blank expression on their face, the only way you can tell which Michael Pare is which is by paying attention to who has more blood on them.  The whole time, you just want Lorenzo Lamas to show up and start showing off his Renegade skills but instead, he’s stuck telling one of the Michael Pares that he better get on the next plane back home.

Luckily, towards the end of the movie, the two Michael Pares team up with Lorenzo Lamas and they spend about ten minutes shooting guns and blowing stuff up and doing all of the other things that we want to see happen in a film like this.  It just takes a while to get there and while Menahem Golan may have produced this film, he didn’t direct it so, even though the ending is exciting, most people will probably lose interest before they get there.  As far as action films about rescuing hostages in the Middle East are concerned, this is no Delta Force.