Horror Film Review: The Norliss Tapes (dir by Dan Curtis)


1973’s The Norliss Tapes begins with a disappearance.

David Norliss (Roy Thinnes), a California-based journalist, has vanished.  Before he disappeared, he had started work on a book that would have detailed his own adventures investigating the paranormal.  Though Norliss vanishes, he leaves behind several audiotapes in which he discusses some of the frightening things that he has seen.  Searching for clue about Norliss’s disappearance, his editor, Sanford T. Evans (Don Porter), sits down and listens to the tapes.

(Incidentally, Sanford T. Evans is a wonderful name for an editor.  It’s a name that just says, “My father knew Hemingway and I went to the University of Pennsylvania as a legacy.’)

As Evans listens to each tape, we watch the story unfold from Norliss’s point of view.  In this film, we watch as Norliss investigates an incident in which Ellen Sterns Cort (Angie Dickinson) claims that she was recently attacked by her dead husband, James Cort (Nicki Dimitri).  James was an artist who, in his final days, became obsessed with the occult and fell under the influence of the Mademoiselle Jeckiel (Vonetta McGee), a mysterious woman who claimed to appreciate James’s art and who gave him a scarab ring that he insisted on being buried with.

Norliss interviews Ellen and investigates her story.  He’s far more sympathetic to the idea of James having returned from the dead than the local sheriff (Claude Akins) is.  Of course, the sheriff has problems of his own.  Dead bodies keep turning up in his county, their skin gray and their bodies drained of blood.  Hmmm …. I wonder if that could have anything to do with James Cort and his scarab ring….

The Norliss Tapes is a pretty simple film.  Norliss shows up and then basically waits around until James Cort makes an appearance.  The film only runs 72 minutes and it’s very much a pilot for a television series that never went into production,  Apparently, each episode would have featured Stanford listening to a different tape and hearing about David Norliss and a weekly guest star dealing with some sort of supernatural occurrence.  Director Dan Curtis was also responsible for the cult television series, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, and The Norliss Tapes feels very much like a dry run for that show.  The main difference is that Roy Thinnes’s David Norliss is nowhere near as nervous as Darren McGavin’s Carl Kolchak.

That said, the exact details for what’s going on with James Cort are almost ludicrously complicated.  It turns out that James Cort is not only trying to cheat death but he’s also helping an ancient Egyptian deity invade our world.  It’s best to ignore the nonsense about the Egyptian Gods and instead just focus on how creepy the undead James Cort is.  With his hulking frame, his gray skin, and his nearly glowing eyes, Cort is a truly frightening monster and he’s certainly the most impressive thing about this movie.  What makes Cort such an effective villain is how angry he seems to be.  Whenever he’s on screen, he’s either bursting through a door or chasing someone.  He’s pure nightmare fuel.

The Norliss Tapes never became a series but it did do well in Europe, where it was released in theaters.  The Norliss Tapes still has a cult following, not bad for a failed pilot.  Who knows what other adventures David Norliss could have had?

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 4.15 “Barbarino’s Baby”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

This week, a longtime Sweathog makes his final appearance.

Episode 4.15 “Barbarino’s Baby”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on February 3rd, 1979)

This episode was John Travolta’s final appearance as Vinnie Barbarino.  That means no more visits to his ugly apartment, no more confusion as to whether or not Barbarino is actually still enrolled in high school, and no more of John Travolta trying his best to give a good performance while the rest of the cast sleep walk through their roles.  Seriously, you have to admire that Travolta was still trying to give a good performance even under the weird circumstances of the fourth season.  The studio audience was going to cheer no matter what Travolta did.  Travolta could have just shrugged off the entire show and character.  I’m sure the temptation to do so was there.  Instead, he did his best.

His final episode really isn’t worth the effort, though,  Barbarino wants to get promoted from scrubbing the floors of the hospital to working in the emergency room.  The head nurse says that there’s no way someone as dumb as Barbarino could be trusted in the ER.  Barbarino asks Mr. Woodman to write a letter.  Julie takes it upon herself to call the hospital and put in a good word for him.  As for Gabe …. he’s not in this episode.  Gabe does nothing!

Maybe Barbarino would get promoted if his idiot friends weren’t always hanging out at the hospital.  Seriously, does that group have nothing better to do than hang out in the world’s ugliest medical facility?  Couldn’t they go hang out on Christopher Street with Horshack or something?  Remember when the Sweathogs were an actual gang who committed crimes?  Epstein was once voted most likely to kill someone.  Freddie used to get accused of stealing every other week.  Beau showed up and they all got wimpy.

Anyway, Barbarino and the Sweathogs get on an elevator with a pregnant woman.  The elevator  stops between floors.  The woman goes into labor.  Time for Barbarino and the Sweathogs to deliver a baby …. *sigh*.  Seriously, there is nothing more stress-inducing than the idea of a bunch of 30 year-old high school students delivering a baby.  The important thing is that the head nurse is able to talk Barbarino through the delivery and Barbarino gets his promotion!  Barbarino is going to the ER!  That’s good news for Horshack because there’s no way he’s not going to end up getting his stomach pumped in the ER eventually.

And that’s John Travolta’s final episode of Welcome Back, Kotter.  It’s a bit of a let down, considering how important the character of Vinnie Barbarino was to the success of the show.  Imagine if The Office finale only allowed Michael Scott to appear for two minutes and only gave him one line of dialogue?  THAT WOULD BE INSANE!

I can only wonder what the rest of this show is going to be like without Kotter and Barbarino.  My fear is that it’s going to involve a lot of Horshack,  We’ll find out.  There’s only a few episodes left!

Retro Television Review: Welcome Back, Kotter 4.7 “Barbarino’s Boo-Boo”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show can be purchased on Prime.

The Welcome Back Kotter death march continues.

Things have really been going downhill since Howard Golden replaced Sebastian Leone.

Episode 4.7 “Barbarino’s Boo-Boo”

(Dir by Norman Abbott, originally aired on October 21st, 1978)

Mr. Woodman’s going into the hospital to have a bunion removed.  Unfortunately, it’s the same hospital the employs Vinnie Barbarino.  The head nurses gives Barbarino a lot of instructions.  “I’m so confused!” Barbarino says.  The audiences goes wild.  Barbarino wheels Mr. Woodman into an elevator but then get distracted by a Spanish woman (played by Jeannie Linero, who also played Lucy Mancini in The Godfather) looking for the maternity ward.  “Do you speak Italian?” Barbarino asks.  The elevator doors close.  Woodman is missing!  For some reason, the other Sweathogs — including Beau — show up at the hospital and start wandering around, helping Barbarino look for Woodman.  Eventually, Gabe and Julie show up.  Gabe Kaplan and Marcia Strassman stand next to each other but refuse to look at each other.  The hatred is palpable.

I watched this episode and I said to myself, “I paid two bucks for this?”

Seriously, I am really annoyed that Tubi took Welcome Back, Kotter off of its service.  Admittedly, it’s not a big deal, having to pay two bucks for the few remaining episodes that are left to review.  I can more than afford it.  It’s not so much cost as much as it’s just the idea of spending any amount of money to watch something this bad.  I had read that Welcome Back, Kotter really declined during the fourth season.  Apparently, Gabe Kaplan was no longer getting along with the show’s producers.  The Sweathogs were all being played by actors who were way too old to pass for high school students.  (In this episode, even Travolta looked way too old to be playing a teenager.)  Marcia Strassman was reportedly miserable and didn’t even want to be in the same room as Kaplan.  The ratings were going downhill.  The show’s biggest draw, John Travolta, only agreed to appear in a handful of episodes.  It’s understandable the Season 4 would see a decline in quality but nothing could have prepared for me for just how bad this episode was.

John Travolta is usually the show’s saving grace but even in this episode, he seems bored and more than a little annoyed with having to take a break from Hollywood stardom to play Vinnie Barbarino.  The studio audience goes crazy when Travolta enters a room and they love his “I’m so confused!” but Travolta himself seems like he’d rather be anywhere but there.  The same is true of the other Sweathogs, all of whom clearly seem to be ready to move on to other projects.  Out of the cast, only John Sylvester White really seems to be trying to give a good performance in this episode but Woodman disappears fairly early on.  The other big problem is that the hospital setting just isn’t that funny.  The Sweathogs wandering through the hospital and making life difficult for the patients is not funny.  Beau accidentally breaking a man’s nose (and yes, that does happen) is not funny.  Perhaps during the show’s first two seasons, when everyone was really into it, this episode could have been funny.  But, with everyone just going through the motions, it’s just annoying.

Oh well, this show will be over soon.  Only 16 more episodes to go!