Scalplock (1966, directed by James Goldstone)


In this comedic western, gambler Benjamin Calhoun (Dale Robertson) wins big in a poker game.  Not only does he walk away with several thousand dollars but he also now owns his own railroad, the BP;S&D.  Calhoun celebrates the biggest win of his career by tossing ten dollar bills at the townspeople, recruiting a worshipful young assistant (Bob Random), and commandeering a private railcar that belongs to wealthy Burton Standish (John Anderson).  In the car, he finds Marta Grenier (Diana Hyland), a “working woman,” who has been hired to provide company for Standish.

Calhoun and Marta ride off to check out Calhoun’s new railroad.  What he discovers is that the railroad that he won is not only not completed but the workers are striking because they haven’t been paid in two weeks.  The quick-thinking Calhoun offers to make all of the workers part-owners of the railroad.  With construction once again starting, Calhoun tries to figure out how to keep his new business open.  He also meets a strong-headed storekeeper named Joanna Royce (Sandra Smith).

When Standish finally shows up, it turns out that he was originally planning on buying the BP;S&D.  Will Calhoun hold onto the railroad and honor the promise he made to the workers or will he sell out to Standish?

For all the talk about completing the railroad, Scalplock ends with most of the work undone.  That’s because Scalplock was a pilot for The Iron Horse, a television series that lasted for two seasons in the 60s.  Scalplock (and The Iron Horse) is mostly a showcase for Dale Robertson, a low-key but always convincing actor who specialized in westerns.  Usually, Robertson was cast as an upstanding citizen and law enforcement agent.  In Scalplock, he’s playing the type of genial rogue that James Garner played on Maverick and later in The Rockford Files.  Robertson is likable in Scalplock and even convinces us that Calhoun would choose his workers over a quick payday.  Fan of the genre will enjoy Scalplock, as long as they don’t get too invested in witnessing that last track of rail laid into the ground.

Dale Robertson, who started his career in the 40s, continued to act through the 90s, though usually as a guest star instead of a series lead.  Robertson eventually retired to Oklahoma where he owned a ranch that was home to over 200 horses.  He passed away in 2013 at the age of 89.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 2.3 “The Beachcomber/The Last Whodunit”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

This week …. Tattoo gets a trumpet!

Episode 2.3 “The Beachcomber/The Last Whodunit”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on September 30th, 1978)

Tattoo is learning how to play the trumpet and Mr. Roarke can barely hide his anger.  That is this week’s Tattoo/Roarke storyline and it rasies a lot of questions about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship.  Is Roarke upset because Tattoo is a bad trumpet player or does he just dislike Tattoo in general?  Does Tattoo really care about learning how to play the trumpet or is he just looking for an excuse to annoy Mr. Roarke?  I think all of those possibilities may be true at the same time.  If the previous two episodes hinted that Roarke and Tattoo no longer hated each other, this episode seems to confirm that they’re still the frenemies that they’ve always been.  I sympathize with Roarke but it’s hard not to appreciate Tattoo’s determination to be an agent of chaos.

As for the fantasies, Charles Preston (John Astin) is a successful businessman who wants to throw it all ways so that he can spend the rest of his life as a beach bum.  Roarke sets Preston up in a cabin on one of the shabbiest beaches on Fantasy Island.  Seriously, the layout of Fantasy Island is just weird.  A third of the island is a luxury resort.  A third of the island is a magical jungle.  And a third of the island is apparently just a collection of poverty-stricken fishing villages.  Do the people who live on the island know that they could be having a fantasy if they only had the money?  Let’s hope none of them ever pick up a copy of Marx or Piketty. 

Anyway, Preston soon discovers that the life of a beach bum is not as easy as he thought it would be.  For one thing, the chief of the island’s indigenous population demands that Preston marry his daughter.  (The joke is that his daughter is overweight and …. well, it’s all pretty cringey by 2022 standards.)  Meanwhile, a bounty hunter slaps some handcuffs on Preston and threatens to take him back to his family unless Preston pays him $70,000.  “All of you beachcombers have a stash!” the bounty hunter hisses.  Fortunately, Preston’s wife shows up and announces that she’s fine with him being a beach bum, as long as he’s a responsible beach bum who helps to pay the bills.  And that’s the end of that.  What an underwhelming fantasy.

Luckily, the episode’s other fantasy is a bit more entertaining.  Mabel Jarvis (Celeste Holm) loves mystery stories and she wants to spend a weekend as her favorite fictional detective.  Of course, Mabel soon finds herself investigating the real-life murder of Mabel’s favorite writer.  Mr. Roarke explains that the writer was a friend of his and that he hoped Mabel could solve the case.  That seems like a lot of responsibility to put on someone who is just looking for a vacation but, fortunately, Mabel proves to be up to the job.  Anyway, this was a fun little fantasy and, as an avid reader of mysteries, it was one to which I could relate.  Celeste Holm seemed to be having a lot of fun as Mabel and, even more importantly, her cat played a key role in solving the mystery.

This was not a bad episode.  The beach stuff was forgettable but the episode was saved Celeste Holm and Tattoo’s trumpet.