The original The House on Haunted Hill is a classic and one that we make it a point to share every Halloween. And since October is now halfway over, now seems like the perfect time to do so!
Be sure to check out Gary’s review by clicking here!
Enjoy Vincent Price at his best!
For today’s horror song of the day, we have the main title track for 1980’s The Shining. Composed by Wendy Carlos and Rachel Elkind, this music perfectly capture the ominous grandeur of the Overlook Hotel and the snowy mountains that surround it.
It’s also a great song to play at the start of any road trip. Scare the Hell out of your friends. It’s fun!
by W.J. Roberts
This cover is from 1937. This magazine would only last for one issue, meaning it truly was only for winter reading.
This is not a Halloween song per se but it still feels appropriate for the season. Chloe sings that she’d rather go to Hell and have fun than go to Heaven and be bored. It sounds like someone just took a class on Paradise Lost.
“This is my job!”
I remember I saw a play in college where Hell was represented by lighting filters that were as red as my glorious hair. Unfortunately, someone screwed up and even the scenes that weren’t taking place in Hell were tinted red. Afterwards, I told the film’s cast, “You all were in Hell the entire time!” and they thought I was just referring to how much they disliked appearing in the play.
Anyway, where was I? It’s late. I’m rambling.
Enjoy!
Twenty-five years ago, six employees were murdered at Phantom Fun-World, an amusement park owned by August Ambrose (played Ari Lehman, best known for having played the young Jason Voorhees in the first Friday the 13th). Now, the park is reopening and there’s already people competing to be the new Phantom Fun-World mascot. Unfortunately, none of them get the job because they’re all killed by a hulking figure wearing a mask. For whatever reason, this killer seems to have a real issue with mascots.
Yes, there is a killer stalking Phantom Fun-World and that’s not good news for Andi (Celeste Blandon), who has taken a job working nights at the park. Andi needs the money to take care of her teenage brother, Cole (Jace Carson) and the job will give her a chance to hang out with her best friend, Collins (Spooky Madison). (It will also give her a chance to spend time away from her toxic mother.) Unfortunately, the killer has plans of his own and soon, Andi’s co-workers are dying and Andi is fighting to both protect Cole and to survive the night.
Despite the brevity of this review, I actually enjoyed Phantom Fun-World quite a bit. There’s nothing particularly unique about the plot. It’s a standard slasher film and the fact that it points out more than once that it’s a standard slasher film doesn’t change that fact. (Indeed, the slasher genre has been so influenced by Scream that it’s now more surprising when a film doesn’t deliberately draw attention to or comment on its use of all of the genre’s cliches.) But the film makes good use of the theme park location and the killer is a frightening one, both because of his mask and the fact that he seems to truly relish his work. Someone like Jason Voorhees kills because it’s the only thing that he knows how to do. He doesn’t seem to take any pleasure out of it. The killer in Phantom Fun-World is having the time of his life and that’s make him all the more frightening. The murders are well-directed and surprisingly brutal. Again, this is one intimidating killer.
It helps that the cast is likable. There’s really no one in this movie who does a bad job. The viewer likes everyone and, as such, there’s some actual emotional stakes to all of the mayhem. Celeste Blandon does an especially good job as Andi, making her a worthy protagonist without making her so perfect that she becomes a less-than-credible character. One of the reasons that the movie works is because Andi truly does make the same mistakes that anyone in her situation would make and, as a result, it’s easy to empathize with her and her desire to protect Cole.
Don’t get me wrong. Phantom Fun-World is a low-budget slasher film and there’s not a whole lot going on here that you haven’t seen in other slasher films. That said, it’s a well-done film and an appropriate way to spend 90 minutes during the Halloween season.
In 1984’s Blind Date, Joseph Bottoms stars as Jonathon Ratcliff, an American who works in Greece.
Jonathon would appear to have it all. He has a good job in an exotic land. He has a nice home. He has a beautiful girlfriend named Claire (Kirstie Alley). He has co-workers who love him so much that they insist on throwing him a birthday party and giving him his cake while he’s making love to Claire. Jonathon enjoys jogging and listening to music and spying on his neighbor, which the film treats as a harmless little thing that all men do. I mean, I guess we should be happy that Jonathon isn’t disguising himself as a taxi driver and murdering the women that he picks up with a scalpel. No, someone else is doing that.
Jonathon suddenly loses his eyesight. Fortunately, Dr. Steiger (James Daughton) has a solution. He’s created a computer program that turns sound into very primitive, grid-like images. As long as Jonathon is wearing his headphones, he can see … kind of. At first, it’s all good fun. Jonathon beats up the extremely flamboyant muggers who have been harassing him at the subway station. And he continues to spy on his neighbor whenever she’s getting undressed which is not cool considering that Claire has stayed with him through his entire ordeal.
Meanwhile, the scalpel murders are continuing….
Now, to be honest, I assumed that Jonathon was going to form some sort of mental connection with the killer and start seeing the murder through the killer’s eyes. Instead, Jonathon just hears the killer walking with one of his victims and he ends up investigating on his own, despite not really being able to see well. Basically, the whole idea of Jonathon being blind doesn’t have much to do with the thriller aspect of the plot. I could maybe accept that if the film hadn’t spent a huge amount of time explaining in pain-staking detail how exactly Jonathon’s “eyes” work. The action literally stopped for a huge chunk of the film’s running time so that the film could make its most ludicrous plot point seem even more ludicrous.
Greek director Nico Mastokaris is obviously trying to do an Argento-style giallo with Blind Date and, indeed, Argento himself has a noted habit of including intriguing but ultimately pointless red herrings in his films. Just as Asia Argento having the Stendhal Syndrome proved to be a bit inconsequential to The Stendhal Syndrome, Joseph Bottoms being blind is inconsequential to Blind Date. That said, Argento can get away with that sort of thing because, even in his weaker films, he’s clever stylist and he usually maintain a solid narrative pace. Blind Date, on the other hand, is rather draggy and Joseph Bottoms is not a particularly likeable hero.
On the positive side, James Daughton (he was the head of the evil frat in Animal House) gives a genuinely interesting performance and Kirstie Alley is likable as the neurotic Claire. For the most part, though, one can see why the sequel promised in the closing credits never came to be.
I read 1988’s The Lifeguard earlier today. It’s a fast read, which is always a good thing.
The book tells the story of teenage Kelsey, whose father has just died and whose mother is already getting ready to marry her new boyfriend, Eric. Personally, I think mom is moving a bit too fast but then again, Eric’s rich and he invites Kelsey and her mom to spend the summer on Beverly Island. Kelsey makes new friends. She meets the people who might soon become her stepsiblings. She develops a crush on two of her potential stepbrothers, shy Justin and the intimidating Neale. And she gets involved in a potential murder when Beth, yet another of Eric’s children, disappears. Did Beth drown or did she fall victim to the killer of Beverly Island?
This book was so silly. Can Kelsey solve the mystery? Even more importantly, can Kelsey decide which one of her future stepsibilings she wants to date? Justin seems nice but Neal is so dark and mysterious. Can Kelsey figure out why the mysterious old man keeps yelling at her? Could he be the killer? He seems like kind of an obvious choice but Kesley might as well go ahead and break into his boat just to be sure….
Apparently, this book is considered to be a bit of a cult classic, solely because of the cover. And the cover is pretty cool. The book itself is nothing special but I probably would have appreciated it more if I hadn’t already read countless old school YA books with the exact same plot. I can only guess the R.L. Stine read The Lifeguard at some point.
This book also wins some points from me for having a ludicrously “happy” ending. Everything works out even though, to be honest, nothing should have worked out. Kelsey should have been traumatized for life and whatever plans her mom had to marry Eric should definitely have been cancelled! Seriously, there’s some things that not even the best of relationships can survive! That said, the ending was so over-the-top and — here’s that word again — silly, that I couldn’t help but appreciate it.
In tonight’s episode of One Step Beyond, Emmy (Patty McCormack) makes the mistake of telling her parents (Eileen Ryan and Leo Penn) that she can read minds. Needless to say, the news does not go over as well as Emmy might have hoped. Her parents have a farm to run! The last thing they need is a witch in their midst!
Emmy runs to the church and prays, “Make me not a witch!”
But what if the world needs a witch?
As with every episode of One Step Beyond, this episode is supposedly based on fact. Patty McCormack is best-remembered for her Oscar-nominated performance in The Bad Seed while Eileen Ryan and Leo Penn are best remembered as being the parents of Sean and Chris Penn.
This episode originally aired on December 22nd, 1959.
Enjoy!
“You have no idea the sacrifice I have made for this land!” Uncle Ollie (Greg Nutcher) yells when his family complain about life on the farm. They’re about to find out, though.
The audience will figure it out before Neil (Troy Escoda) and his clairovoyant son, Jake (Ian Hernandez-Oropeza). As soon as they arrive at the farm, Jake starts having visions of sacrifices and women having their tongues cut out. It’s easy to figure out what the farmers in the town due to ensure that they’ll have a good crop but no one in the movie is as smart as those of us watching at home.
The movie probably would have been scarier if I could have actually heard or understood half the dialogue. The film’s sound quality is terrible. I even checked my hearing aid to make sure that it wasn’t a problem on my end. Some of the dialogue has been obviously dubbed. Some scenes are too loud. Some scenes you can’t hear anything at all.
There’s not much of a story here so everything gets dragged out. “Have you wondered why there are no children her!?” Uncle Ollie yells while swinging around an axe. Nah, Ollie, we figure it out a while ago.
Today’s horror scene is a classic moment from a classic film, 1959’s The House on Haunted Hill!
One of the joys of this film is definitely watching Vincent Price having a lot of fun with that skeleton.
Through the Shattered Lens 