In 1986’s The Wind, Meg Foster stars as Sian Anderson.  Sian is a novelist who lives in Los Angeles with her wealthy boyfriend, John (David McCallum).  How wealthy is John?  He’s so wealthy that he can sit out by his pool with a telephone.  (That’s 80s wealthy!)  He’s so wealthy that, when Sian says that she’s going to go to Greece so she can work on her next novel, John rents out the Goodyear Blimp and has it say, “Bon Voyage.”

(It would have been funnier if it had said, “The World Is Yours.”)

On the Greek isle of Monemvasia, she rents the home of Elias Appleby (Robert Morley), an eccentric man who tells her that she must be careful during the night because the heavy winds can be deadly.  He probably also should have warned her that the handyman, Phil (Wings Hauser), was crazy.  No sooner has the wind started howling outside and Sian has started work on her latest novel (which, from what we hear of her writing, sounds absolutely awful), then wild-eyed Phil starts acting crazy and homicidal.  Isolated and too stupid to figure out how to use a Greek phone (and yes, that actually is a plot point), Sian tries to survive the night.

The Wind was directed by Greek journalist-turned-filmmaker Nico Mastorakis.  Anyone was has seen a previous Mastorakis film will immediately be able to spot that The Wind is a product of his somewhat unique aesthetic vision.  As with almost all of Mastorakis’s films, The Wind is both a thriller and a travelogue.  Yes, Phil is trying to kill Sian but — hey!  Look at how pretty the island is!  As well, in typical Mastorakis fashion, the cast is a hodgepodge of familiar faces who don’t all seem as if they belong in the same movie.  Along with Meg Foster, Wings Hauser, Robert Morley, and David McCallum, the film also features Steve Railsback as a friendly sailor who, stranded on the island by the wind, attempts to help Sian out.

The other big Mastorakis trademark is that none of the characters in the film seem to like each other.  That makes sense when it comes to Sian and Phil.  But what is one to make of the scene where Appleby gives Sian a tour of the home and the two of them, who have just met, immediately start snapping at each other for no reason?  They’ve just met and they really don’t have any reason to be arguing with each other.  But that’s what they do because this is a Nico Mastorakis film.

For me, the funniest part of the film involves John.  Worried that Phil is going to kill her, Sian finally gets to talk to John on the phone.  The connection is bad but John, who is sitting out by his pool, still clearly hears Sian say that someone is trying to kill her.  The line then goes dead.  John contacts the international operator and says that he has to make an emergency call to Greece but he’s not sure about the exact number.  The international operator replies that a call cannot be made with an exact number.  So, what does John?  He shrugs, hangs up,  gets in the swimming pool, swims a few laps and nearly misses it when Sian, hours later, calls him again.  To reiterate: John, a wealthy man with Goodyear Blimp connections, heard that the love of his life was isolated and in fear of her life and his response was to go for a swim.

On the plus side, The Wind is actually decently paced and Nico Mastorakis makes the use of his limited locations.  Meg Foster and Wing Hauser are both such eccentric performers that it’s impossible not be entertained by the sight of them acting opposite each other.  Even by his usual standards, Hauser is memorably unhinged here.  This film is ludicrous and a lot of fun.  It’s a Nico Mastorakis film, after all.