Song of the Day: Why? by Herve Villechaize

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Since I just reviewed the final Tattoo episode of Fantasy Island, let’s say goodbye with today’s song of the day.

In 1981, at the height of Fantasy Island’s popularity, Villechaize released a song called “Why?” It’s all about trying to understand why people have to fight and why people cannot just accept the wisdom of peace-loving children. The video at the top of this post was recorded for a TV show on which Villechaize appeared. Unfortunately, I don’t know which show it was for and the video upload itself is not the best quality. Apparently, the split-screen visual effect that gives us two Herves singing at once was a part of the show.

That said, why do we always have to fight?

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

Posted on July 8, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1984. Unfortunately, the show has been removed from most streaming sites. Fortunately, I’ve got nearly every episode on my DVR.

Today, the sixth season of Fantasy Island comes to a close and so does Tattoo’s time on the show.

Episode 6.22 “Love Island/The Sisters”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 14th, 1983)

This is it. This is not only the finale of season 6 but it’s also the final episode to feature Tattoo as Mr. Roarke’s assistant.

Why did Herve Villechaize leave Fantasy Island after the end of the sixth season? The story that you always hear is that Villechaize wanted more money to continue working on the show. He felt that he deserved to be paid as much as Ricardo Montalban. The show’s producers disagreed. To them, Montalban was not only the star of the show but also someone who has just appeared in a hit movie, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn. They felt that they could keep the show going without Villechaize and …. well, it turns out they were totally and completely wrong about that.

I have not seen much of the seventh season, in which Villechaize was replaced by Christopher Hewett. And, due to the vagaries of my DVR, there’s a lot of season 7 that I won’t be able to review. What I do know is that the show went from being #39 to bring ranked #47 in the ratings after Villechaize left. Obviously, being the 39th ranked show was nothing to brag about but it was still a helluva lot better than #47. Villechaize left and a lot of the audience left with him.

I’ve made a lot of jokes about Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship. Especially during the early seasons, Roarke and Tattoo sometimes did seem to be friendly rivals. (That was when Roarke was a far more enigmatic fellow and Tattoo always seemed to be trying to figure out a way to make some extra money on Fantasy Island.) Remember when Tattoo ran against Mr. Roarke in an Island election? That said, Roarke and Tattoo’s relationship really was the heart of the series. The fantasies themselves were often forgettable. How many times can you get excited about seeing a member of the Brady Bunch as a guest star? The thing that people really remember about Fantasy Island is the relationship between Roarke and Tattoo. Regardless of what went on behind the scenes, Montalban and Villechazie had a good on-camera chemistry. It was fun to watch them interact. I always enjoyed the episodes that allowed Villechaize to reveal Tattoo’s sensitive side. (In real life, Villechaize was an advocate for abused children, often taking the time to personally visit with children who had been rescued from abusive households.)

This is all my long-winded way of saying that they should have just agreed to pay Herve Villechaize more money.

At the very least, they should have given him a proper goodbye episode. The sixth season ends with a rather basic episode, with no mention made of Tattoo leaving or even thinking of leaving. Instead, we get Maureen McCormick going to a mysterious mansion to rescue her old sister (Britt Ekland) from an abusive man (played by Peter Mark Richman). And then we get Bob Denver and Paul Kreppel as two wannabe womanizers who end up in prehistoric times, trying to romance a cavewoman while dealing with dinosaurs. The dinosaur effects were cheap but likable but they were also the only thing that really made either of their fantasies stand-out.

And so, season 6 ends, not with a bang but a whimper. Tattoo waves goodbye one last time. I’m going to miss him.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.21 “Remember When….”

Posted on July 1, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week …. oh no!

Episode 6.21 “Remember When”

(Dir by Philip Leacock, originally aired on May 7th, 1983)

After crashing his little car, Tattoo ends up in the Fantasy Island hospital. Roarke cancels all of the weekend’s fantasies so that he can stay by Tattoo’s side and keep Tattoo cheerful until it’s time for him to have life-saving surgery. Roarke and Tattoo share memories and …. YEP, IT’S A CLIP SHOW!

Actually, for a clip show, it’s not that bad. Yes, there’s a lot of awkward dialogue. “Boss, remember that time Mickey Gilley opened up his place?” That said, the clips are well-selected and they all feature Herve Villechaize at his best, turning this episode into a Tattoo tribute. At the end of the episode, Tattoo says that he’s never going to leave Fantasy Island. Which …. well, we’ll get to season 7 in a few weeks.

Anyway, clip shows are pretty much impossible to review. Let’s just be happy that Tattoo pulls through. That accident looked serious!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

Posted on June 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s zombie time!

Episode 6.20 “What’s The Matter With Kids/Island of Horror”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on April 16th, 1983)

Dr. Stuart Wharton (Steve Allen) is a tightass stick-in-the-mud who has come to Fantasy Island to give a lecture on how to raise the perfect child. His wife, Margaret (Jayne Meadows Allen), is sick of Dr. Wharton telling people how to live their lives and basically threatens to leave his condescending ass if he doesn’t allow her to adopt Andy (Justin Henry), who is not perfect but who is still better than any of the imaginary perfect children that Dr. Wharton has written and lectured about. This fantasy was predictable and kind of boring. Jayne Meadows Allen actually wrote the script so it’s interesting that the whole fantasy is basically her telling off her husband and accusing him of being a pompous jackass.

There is one interesting scene where Mr. Roarke talks about Stuart’s idea of the perfect child and the kid suddenly appears out of thin air. Mr. Roarke also makes the kid disappear. Mr. Roarke is all-powerful!

(So, you may be wondering, why Roarke doesn’t just use his God-like powers in every episode? I think he wants his guests to sometimes lean a lesson on their own. I always hate it when people try to make me learn something. Sorry, Roarke.)

Meanwhile Erica Nelson (Gayle Hunnicutt) goes to a neighboring island in search of her missing fiancé, Dr. Richard Yates (Christopher Connelly). Uh-oh! The Island’s controlled by a mad scientist named Dr. Christophe (Jared Martin)! And Dr. Christophe is into voodoo!

That’s right, there are zombies all over the place! And one of the zombies is Erica’s husband! Fortunately, it turns out that zombification is not a permanent condition and Erica is eventually able to cure her husband while the remaining zombies descend upon Dr. Christophe.

I liked this fantasy. The island was atmospheric and, by Fantasy Island standards, the zombies were actually pretty effective. The scene of them rising from their graves was surprisingly well-done and I also appreciated that Jared Martin totally embraced the melodrama in the role of Dr. Christophe. This fantasy also featured a great moment where Roarke appeared on the Island to inform Erica that the zombies were coming and then he promptly vanished. I love it when Roarke does that

(Of course, I don’t think that Erica was ever in any real danger. I mean, this episode established that Roarke can conjure people out of thin air. I’m sure he could have just snapped his fingers and made all the zombies vanish. But, in typical Roarke fashion, he wanted Erica to learn a lesson.)

The orphan fantasy was annoying but I like zombies! This was a good trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

Posted on June 17, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Sammy Davis Jr. comes to Fantasy Island.

That’s be cool, right?

Episode 6.19 “Edward/Extraordinary Miss Jones”

(Dir by Don Ingalls, originally aired on April 9th, 1983)

Or, it would have been cool if my DVR had actually recorded this episode!

Sorry, it’s the curse of the DVR. This is one of the episodes that my DVR did not record. I’m not sure if it’s a case of the episode not being aired or perhaps the cable itself was out when it should have been recording but, for whatever reason, I do not have this episode and I also don’t remember having watched it in the past.

For now, I can’t review it. But I’m going to leave this here as a placeholder, in case the show ever starts streaming again.

Again, I regret not being able to review this episode at this time. But, as Mr. Roarke always says, “Smiles, everyone, smiles!”

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

Posted on June 10, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time to go back to the Island. Smiles, everyone, smiles!

Episode 6.18 “The Devil Stick/Touch and Go”

(Dir by George McCowan, originally aired on March 19th, 1983)

I had mixed feelings about this episode.

On the one hand, we do learn a little bit about Tattoo’s past in this episode. We discover that he lived in Paris before coming to Fantasy Island and becoming Roarke’s assistant and we learn that he may have been a taxi driver. At one point, his life was saved by a woman named Susan Henderson (Georgia Engel). To repay her, Tattoo arranges for Susan to come to the Island so that she can pursue her fantasy of getting concert pianist Carter Ransome (Bernie Kopell — who I love on The Love Boat but who is just plain miscast here) to fall in love with her. Even though Roarke says it will only be for the weekend, Susan is okay with that. Of course, things get complicated. Roarke also asks Tattoo how he plans to pay for the fantasy. Since when does Roarke care about money? Seriously, after all of the free fantasies that he’s handed out!? Give Tattoo a break, Roarke!

On the other hand, this fantasy featured Georgia Engel. Georgia Engel was an actress who specialized in playing very nice women who rarely spoke above a whisper. Ever since I’ve started doing these retro television reviews, I’ve watched countless episodes featuring Georgia Engel as quirky women who refuse to speak above a whisper. At first, it didn’t bother me. Then I watched Jennifer Slept Here, a short-lived sitcom co-starring Georgia Engel. It was while watching Jennifer Slept Here that I found myself yelling, “SPEAK UP!” whenever Georgia Engel appeared onscreen.

I feel bad because Georgia Engel, in every role that I’ve seen her play, came across as being a genuinely kind soul but the whispering thing …. oh my God, it just annoys the Hell out of me. And that was certainly the case with this episode. It was nice to learn more about Tattoo’s life and I’m glad that everyone found love but I’m sick of having to strain to understand or even hear the dialogue whenever Georgia Engel guest stars on one of these shows.

The other fantasy, I liked a bit more. Carl Peters (Dean Butler) comes to Fantasy Island to meet a woman who has loved for afar, Hallie Miller (Crystal Bernard). It turns out that Hallie lives on a village on the other side of the Island. Roarke warns that it’s a weird village that’s never gotten over the execution of a witch several centuries earlier. At first, I was like, “Since when is there a town on the other side of the Island?” but then I remembered that, during the first season, there was a whole fantasy that took place in fishing village that happened to be on the Island. Anyway, this fantasy is supernatural-themed and I always like it when Fantasy Island embraces its supernatural origins.

It was an uneven trip to the Island this week but what can I say? I like island trips!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

Posted on May 20, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Smiles, everyone, smiles!” It’s time for another two fantasies.

Episode 6.17 “King of Burlesque/Death Games”

(Dir by Cliff Bole, originally aired on March 12th, 1983)

I’m going to deal with the first of this week’s fantasies very quickly because, quite frankly, it’s not every interesting. Rich Little is Tom Vail, a wall street accountant who wants to be a burlesque comedian. He gets his fantasy. He performs at the Fantasy Island Burlesque Revival. He wears a hideous suit with a big bowtie. He falls in love with a dancer. The always likable Red Buttons appears as a Burlesque veteran. It’s not a bad fantasy but it’s not terribly interesting.

Meanwhile, Vanessa Walgren (Joanna Pettet) has come to the Island to compete in the “First Annual Fantasy Island Pentathlon.” However, Mr. Roarke knows that she’s there for another reason. She wants to kill him! A year ago, Vanessa’s husband was lost at sea while on his own fantasy. (He wanted to retrace the route of the Kon Tiki.) Vanessa blames Roarke and she’s put a bounty on his head. Roarke sighs and says, “Fine, but if you don’t kill me by the end of the weekend, you have to leave the Island and never bother me again.” Vanessa agrees….

WHAT!? What type of vengeance is that!? Seriously, if you’re obsessed with vengeance, you don’t just shrug and accept an arbitrary rule from the person you’re trying to kill.

Anyway, Roarke is the judge for the Pentathlon so he’s got various athletes trying to kill him over the course of the entire weekend. He even gets cut during a fencing match! (“If you can bleed, you can die!” Vanessa declares in a wonderfully over-the-top moment.) Whenever anyone fails to kill him, Roarke says, “Get off my Island!,” which is rally cool. Tattoo wonders why Roarke is allowing this to happen. Why doesn’t Roarke order Vanessa to get off the Island. Roarke is all like, “I can’t tell you, just trust me.” The final event is a skydiving competition and I’m not really sure how you compete at that but whatever. Despite Vanessa’s efforts to sabotage his parachute, Roarke lands safely.

Vanessa then offers him two glasses of wine. One glass is poisoned! Can Roarke pick the right glass? Roarke is like, “Screw this,” and finally reveals that Vanessa’s husband is not dead. Instead, he’s a secret agent who had to fake his own death but who is now ready to be reunited with Vanessa….

Again, WHAT!? Seriously, that came out of nowhere.

Reunited with her husband, Vanessa apologizes for trying to murder Roarke. Roarke says it’s fine because Mr. Roarke is very forgiving.

The burlesque fantasy was boring (loved the costumes, though!) but the revenge fantasy made up for it. I love it when Fantasy Island embraces the melodrama. Plus, this fantasy actually gave Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize quite a bit to do. All in all, this was a good trip to the Island!

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

Posted on May 13, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, our trip is all about getting older.

Episode 6.16 “Eternal Flame/My Date With Burt”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on March 5th, 1983)

When I first saw that one of the fantasies this week was called “My Date With Burt,” my immediate assumption was that someone would come to Fantasy Island and demand to go on a date with Burt Reynolds. I was actually looking forward to seeing if Burt would play himself or if they would just have some stand-in who was always shot from behind. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

The Burt in this case is Burt Hunter (Ron Ely), an actor who is the latest to be cast as a James Bond-type of secret agent. Margaret Winslow (Sandra Dee) has a crush on him and wants to meet him. For his part, Burt is depressed because he’s getting older and the producers of his films want to replace him with a younger actor. At first, Burt just goes out with Margaret in order to generate some publicity for himself. He hires a stuntman to fake a fight so that Burt can emerge as a big ol’ hero. Burt is trying to save his career but Margaret is not amused by any of that. Margaret realizes that films are not real life. Margaret’s pretty old to only now be figuring that out. Anyway, Margaret and Burt still fall in love and leave the Island together.

This fantasy was predictable but it did give us one of those fun Tattoo subplots where Tattoo claimed to be Burt Hamilton’s best friend and tried to get involved in managing his career. Tattoo always had a side hustle going and good for him! One gets the feeling that Roarke didn’t pay him that much. Seriously, Tattoo was always trying to find a way to make more money. Pay the man what he’s worth, Mr. Roarke!

Our other fantasy features Linwood Bolton and Randi Oakes as Alex and Diana Weston, two newlyweds who want to find the Fountain of Youth so that they can be young and in love forever. Yay! Roarke has them take a dip in a pool and, when they emerge, they’re on an isolated island that is ruled over by Ra-Mas (Alex Cord) and Maatira (the great Stella Stevens). Maatira will let them drink from the fountain but there’s a catch …. one of the cups is full of poison! Alex can be eternally young and he can be spend the rest of eternity as Maatira’s lover but Diana has to die. And Diana does die. Luckily, the water from the fountain can also bring people back to life.

This was a weird fantasy and you really do have to wonder what would have happened if Alex hadn’t come to his senses and if Diana hadn’t been revived. Would Roarke have just shrugged and told Tattoo to burn Diana’s passport? It just doesn’t seem like that would be good for business. That said, Stella Stevens was an actress who was always willing to embrace the melodrama and she does so here, keeping things somewhat entertaining.

This was a pleasant if not particularly memorable trip to the Island.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.16 “Return To The Cotton Club/No Friends Like Old Friends”

Posted on May 6, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, we’re traveling in time!

Episode 6.16 “Return to the Cotton Club/No Friends Like Old Friends”

(Dir by Don Weis, originally aired on February 26th, 1983)

Aspiring singer Charlie Whelan (Lou Rawls) wants to go back to a time where all that mattered was talent. As he tells Roarke and Tattoo, it’s all about image and connections now. Charlie wants to go back to the Cotton Club, the famous New York club where blacks were allowed to perform on stage while gangsters sat in the audience. Roarke sends Charlie back in time and soon, Charlie is at the Cotton Club. He meets Dutch Schultz (J.D. Cannon). He befriends the club’s manager, Gus Kelly (Yaphet Kotto). He falls for another singer, Linda (Berlinda Tolbert).

The first thing I noticed about this fantasy is that The Cotton Club looked really cheap. It looked like an old VIP lounge in an airport. It was kind of tacky. The other thing I noticed is that the fantasy wasn’t historically accurate. The Cotton Club was not owned by Dutch Schultz. In fact, Schultz had little to do with The Cotton Club. The gangster who owned the Cotton Club was Owney Madden, an Irish gangster who eventually left New York City for Hot Springs, Arkansas. In the show’s defense, the man who Charlie knew as Dutch Schultz was eventually revealed to be another guest who was having a fantasy of his own. I’ve always had mixed feelings about Roarke’s habit of combining fantasies. I feel like a guest should only have to pay half-price if their fantasy is going to mixed up with somebody else’s.

As for this fantasy, it was okay. Lou Rawls certainly gave a better performance here than he ever did on Baywatch Nights. And Yaphet Kotto was a charming as ever, even if his role was, again, not historically accurate. (The Cotton Club may have hired black performers but otherwise, it was heavily segregated.) I like almost anything involving 1930s gangsters. I can’t help it. They had style.

As for the other fantasy, Doreen Murphy (Markie Post) wants to have a reunion with her friends from college. Doreen asks Roarke to make her rich and beautiful so that she can shame all of the people who never believed in her. Roarke gives her a magic necklace that changes her from being a brunette to being a blonde. That’s all it takes! One of Doreen’s friends is Liz (Cybill Shepherd). Liz is married to the unfaithful Al (Lyle Waggoner), who takes an interest in Doreen. Doreen learns a lesson about true beauty being more than just an appearance. She also learns that people don’t dislike her as much as they dislike her bitter attitude. Doreen gives the necklace to Liz so that Liz can get her cheating husband back. Good, I guess.

This was an uneven trip to the Island. Neither story was particularly compelling. The Cotton Club fantasy at least had Yaphet Kotto. Otherwise, this was a forgettable trip. The writers really didn’t even seem to be trying to come up with anything unexpected or surprising. At least the Island continues to look lovely.

Retro Television Review: Fantasy Island 6.14 “Revenge of the Forgotten/Charo”

Posted on April 29, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week epitomizes an era!

Episode 6.14 “Revenge of the Forgotten/Charo”

(Dir by Phillip Leacock, originally aired on February 19th, 1983)

Just the fact that one of this week’s fantasies is actually entitled “Charo” should tell you all you need to know about it. Charo plays Maria Diaz (her full name is much longer), who has come to Fantasy Island to meet her father. Charles Woodruff (Van Johnson) didn’t even know that he had a daughter but he takes the news surprisingly well.

The interesting thing about this fantasy is that Charles Woodruff is an American diplomat, who has a home in both New York City and Fantasy Island. As Fantasy Island has previously been established as being its own nation, you do have to wonder if perhaps Charles Woodruff is America’s ambassador to Fantasy Island. A large part of the fantasy involves him hosting a dinner for several other diplomats so I guess it’s possible that every country sends an ambassador to Fantasy Island. Perhaps Fantasy Island even sends a delegate to the United Nations. Maybe that would explain where Tattoo was during all of those season 5 episodes where Julie was suddenly Roarke’s sidekick. For that matter, maybe that’s where Julie is now. The show never has really explained what happened to her.

Anyway, how much you like this fantasy will depend on how much you like Charo. She is someone who definitely epitomizes an era and, of course, the same can be said of both The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. It’s interesting that, over the years, there have been multiple attempts to reboot both of those series and they’ve never really worked, largely because a good deal of the appeal of Love Boat and Fantasy Island is how much they really are a product of the 70s and 80s. Attempting to update them for the modern era tends to negate everything that make both of the shows so entertaining to watch today.

(The latest Fox update of Fantasy Island had a lot of gorgeous scenery but it got bogged down in all of its attempts to world build. It’s fun to speculate about how the Island works. It’s less fun to actually have the show explain it to us.)

As for the other fantasy, it involves Marjoe Gortner! As usual, Marjoe’s playing a villain. He’s cast as Loren Robertson, who framed Alan Daly (Steve Kanaly) for a crime that he didn’t commit and then tricked Alan’s girlfriend, Marion (Christine Belford), into marrying him. Recently released from prison, Alan comes to Fantasy Island to track down a fabled treasure that Alan believes he can use to restart his life. With the help of Tattoo (who dresses up like Indiana Jones), Alan finds the treasure but, when he sees Loren and Marion on the Island, Alan gets distracted by his desire for revenge.

This story was a bit of an odd one. Alan’s fantasy was to find the treasure and, after he found it, Roarke was like, “So, I guess you’ll be leaving now.” Instead, Alan decides to spend a full weekend on the Island to try to get revenge. I’ve never seen Roarke try to get a guest to leave early before but it’s even more strange to be reminded that somehow all of these fantasies occur over the course of one weekend. Some episodes have seemed like a bit much for just two or three days.

Despite the fact that this episode originally aired in 1983, it doesn’t get more 70s than Charo and Marjoe! Charo was her usual self. Marjoe was a great villain as always. This was an enjoyable trip to the Island.