Retro Television Review: St. Elsewhere 1.1 “Pilot”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a new feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing St. Elsewhere, a medical show which ran on NBC from 1982 to 1988.  The show can be found on Hulu!

When I started reviewing Homicide, Jeff suggested that I should also review St. Elsewhere because the two shows shared a similar sensibility and a lot of behind-the-scenes personnel.  (Homicide showrunner Tom Fontana started out as a writer on St. Elsewhere.)  Apparently. a few characters from St. Elsewhere would eventually cross-over to Homicide.  Since I’m planning on soon reviewing two shows that were descended from HomicideOz and The Wire — it only seemed right to also review a show that was Homicide’s ancestor.

Though the show aired largely before my time, St. Elsewhere is definitely a show that I have heard about.  Everyone who follows American pop culture has either read about or seen the show’s infamous final episode and knows about the Tommy Westphall Universe Hypothesis.  Obviously, I can’t get into it now because that would be a spoiler but we’ll discuss it when the time comes!

For now, let’s start at the beginning, with the pilot!

Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

(Dir by Thomas Carter, originally aired on October 26th, 1982)

St. Eligius is a hospital in Boston that has obviously seen better days.  From the outside, it looks old.  On the inside, the hallways have the dim and dull look of a building that hasn’t been renovated in over ten years.  As Dr. Mark Craig (William Daniels, long before he played Mr. Feeney on Boy Meets World) angrily puts it, the hospital gets no respect in Boston.  It’s seen as being a “dumping ground” for patients who can’t afford anything better.  Dr. Craig is world-renowned heart surgeon whose wealthy patients have donated what few improvements the hospital has seen over the past few years.  (“All of our clocks now read the same time!” Dr. Craig brags at one point.)  But not even Dr. Craig can change the hospital’s reputation as being secondary to Boston General.

There are actually a few good things about St. Eligius.  For one thing, a young Denzel Washington is on staff, playing resident Phillip Chandler.  Denzel doesn’t get to do much in the pilot but still, his presence fills the viewer with confidence.  St. Eligius is also home to a world-renowned liver specialist, Dr. Daniel Auschlander (played by Norman Lloyd, who also worked with Hitchcock and Orson Welles).  Auschlander has liver cancer but the hospital chief-of-staff, Dr. Donald Westphall (Ed Flanders), assures everyone that Auschlander will probably “out live us all.”  (And he was right, to an extent.  Norman Lloyd lived to be 106 years old before passing away in 2021.  Ed Flanders died, tragically by suicide, in 1995.)  St. Eligius is a teaching hospital and the residents want to make a good impression by keeping their patients alive.  That’s always a good thing.

At the same time, how secure can you feel when Howie Mandel is one of the residents?  Mandel plays Dr. Wayne Fiscus, who wears a baseball cap and acts …. well, he acts a lot like Howie Mandel.  Like Washington, Mandel doesn’t do a lot in the pilot.  He does get a subplot where he apparently has sex in the morgue with goth pathologist Cathy Martin (Barbara Whinnery) but otherwise, we don’t see him treating a patient or anything like that.  Still, it’s a bit jarring to see Howie Mandel as a doctor.  I would not necessarily want him for my doctor because he’s to be easily distracted.  Maybe he’ll change my mind as the series progresses.

Speaking of sex, Dr. Ben Samuels (David Birney) has gonorrhea and spends most of the pilot approaching doctors and nurses and informing them of his conditions and suggesting that they might want to get tested themselves.  That’s not exactly the best way to be introduced to a character but it also lets us know that this show is not just going to be about dedicated doctors who spend all of their time worrying about their patients and making amazing medical discoveries.  Instead, this show is also about doctors who get venereal diseases.  Has anyone checked on Fiscus in the morgue?

(That said, Dr. Samuels does get a scene where he saves the life of a woman who was injured in a terrorist bombing, as if the show does want to make sure that we know that he can do his job, even if he is spreading VD through the hospital.)

The majority of the episode follows Dr. Jack Morrison (David Morse), a first-year resident who has been working several 24-hour shifts and who complains, at one point, that he hasn’t seen his wife for days.  Dr. Morrison gets upset when a surgeon wants to operate on one of his patients, a 15 year-old girl named Sandy (Heather McAdams).  Morrison believes that surgeons always want to cut into somebody.  Morrison gets even more upset when Sandy’s mother requests that Sandy be transferred to Boston General, which has a reputation for being a better, more modern hospital.  In fact, Morrison is so upset and exhausted that he forgets to file a death certificate for a patient who dies during the night.  As a result, it’s believed that the patient, who has a reputation for being violent, has gone missing and is stalking the hospital.  Dr. Annie Cavanero (Cynthia Sikes) spends the entire episode looking for a dead man, which at least gives her an excuse to visit every ward and introduce the viewers to the members of the show’s ensemble cast.

Having lost my mom to cancer and now my Dad to Parkinson’s, I was hesitant about reviewing St. Elsewhere.  (Actually, I was hesitant about reviewing any medical show.)  When my Dad was in the hospital, I felt like I couldn’t get anyone to give me a straight answer about his condition and I often felt the doctors were talking down to me.  To be honest, my worst conflicts were with the nurses, one of whom told me that I would have to “lose the attitude” before she would explain why my father had been moved to the Delirium Ward.  (It didn’t help that, at the same time my Dad was in the hospital, there was a huge storm that left us without power for a week.)  At the same time, there were other doctors who were helpful.  The staff at the rehab center that my dad was sent to were also wonderful.  I have my regrets about agreeing to hospice care but the nurse who was assigned to my Dad was very empathetic and totally understanding whenever I asked her for a cigarette.  (Under normal circumstances, I don’t smoke because I have asthma but seriously, the stress was killing me.)  I’m bitter and angry about a lot of what happened but I’m also thankful for the small moments of kindness.

Watching a show set in a hospital was not easy for me but the pilot of St. Elsewhere appealed to me with its mix of melodrama and humor.  There was a quirkiness to it that I appreciated.  William Daniels made me laugh with his annoyed rant about how little respect the hospital received.  Most of all, I cared about whether or not Dr. Morrison would still be alive at the end of his shift.  David Morse’s performance won me over.  He’s the type of doctor that I would want to have.  Well, actually, I’d probably want Denzel to my doctor but Dr, Morrison could assist.  Just keep Dr. Howie Mandel away from me.  Nothing against him but he seemed to be having way too much fun at the hospital….

Most importantly, the show ended with a cat.

Next week, the drama continues at St. Elsewhere!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.17 “Playgirl/Smith’s Valhalla”


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986.  Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, Leslie Nielsen returns to Fantasy Island!

Episode 3.17 “Playgirl/Smith’s Valhalla”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on January 26th, 1980)

This week, Tattoo is super excited because one of the guests is Erica Clark (Barbie Benton), a famous centerfold for Rooster Magazine!  Erica, however, no longer models.  As she explains to Mr. Roarke, she grew tired of men treating her as just being a sex object.  Indeed, her fantasy is to be able to treat men the same way!  (Today, of course, Erica could save however much money she spent for the fantasy by simply watching clips of Magic Mike on YouTube.)

In perhaps the simplest fantasy that Mr. Roarke has ever put together, he sends Erica to the Island’s famed Jackrabbit Club, where men dance while women watch.  Again, to be clear, all Mr. Roarke had to do was send her to the island’s version of Chippendales.  I mean, Erica could have just done that on her own.  Anyway, Erica witnesses one of the dancers, Walter Wilde (Fabian Forte), getting fired for refusing to go along with being sexually harassed by one of the women in the audience.  Relating to Walter, his desire to go to medical school, and his life as a single father to Dinah (Heather McAdam), Erica agrees to come out of retirement and pose (in a bikini with a big rooster tail hooked on the back) for the club’s owner, Big Earl Sanderson (Denny Miller).  However, when Big Earl demands that Erica do more than just pose, Walter is there to punch him out.

Anyway, it turns out that Dinah’s fantasy was for Walter to fall in love and Roarke combined her fantasy with Erica’s, presumably to save some money.  So, Erica, Walter, and Dinah leave the island together and I guess Erica learns that …. well, I’m not sure anyone learned anything.  This was a pretty weak fantasy that claimed to be about treating men as sex objects but spent the majority of time looking for excuses to put Barbi Benton in a bikini.  Seriously, Jackrabbit was the tamest male strip club I’ve ever seen.

Meanwhile, the Island finds itself in what should be an international incident after a group of dirty commies hijack a plane and make it land at an abandoned Fantasy Island airport.  The communists say that they are doing this because they have to get people to pay attention to their cause but it’s hard not to notice that there’s next to no media coverage of the events, there are no soldiers or police surrounding the airport, and Mr. Roarke merely shrugs it off.

The only person who does care is Jason Smith (Hugh O’Brian), whose fantasy is to lead a combat mission.  The fantasy becomes personal for Jason when he discovers that his wife (Emily Banks) is one of the hostages!  Mr. Roarke arranges to Jason to work with three combat experts.

Buck Tanner (Sean Garrison) is an explosives expert who suffers from war flashbacks.

“Weasel” Forbes (Charlies Dierkop) is a wild sniper.

And French soldier of fortune Emile Bouvier is …. LESLIE NIELSEN!

Yes, this episode of Fantasy Island features Leslie Nielsen is one of the last of his “serious” roles, playing a French mercenary by wearing a red beret and not even attempting an accent.  Bouver is tough and no-nonsense, as we learn when he catches Buck drinking on the job.

Anyway, Jason is able to rescue his wife and the other hostages and the communists are all arrested and hopefully sacrificed to the Fantasy Island mermaid.  Bouvier sacrifices his life to save Jason’s but Mr. Roark explains that it was no big deal because Bouvier was dying anyways and his fantasy was to end his life doing something heroic.  Once again, it appears that Mr. Roarke saved some money by combining fantasies.  Was Fantasy Island feeling the effects of the Carter recession?  Perhaps.

Other than Leslie Nielsen playing a serious role, probably the most interesting thing about this episode is that Mr. Roarke and Tattoo barely spoke to each other over the course of it.  There was none of the usual comedic banter or anything like that.  Indeed, even in the scenes greeting and saying goodbye to their guests, Ricardo Montalban and Herve Villechaize refused to every look at each other.  Obviously, it wasn’t all happy days on Fantasy Island.