Tag Archives: HBO

What Lisa Marie Watched Last Night: Myra Breckinridge (dir. by Michael Sarne)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Last night, as I struggled to get some sleep, I ended up turning on the television to HBO and watching a truly infamous film — 1970’s Myra Breckenridge.  Based on a novel by Gore Vidal (a writer that I generally have little use for), Myra Breckinridge is infamous for being one of two X-rated film released by 20th Century Fox in 1970.  (The other one was Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley of the Dolls.)

Why Was I Watching It?

Because I’ve read a lot of books devoted to “the worst films ever made.”  And all of them mention 1970’s Myra Breckinridge as being one of the worst ever made.  And having seen the film, I can say that they’re right.

What’s It About?

Well, that’s a good question.  Okay, there’s a bisexual film critic named Myron Breckinridge (played by an actual film critic named Red Reed).  Myron gets a sex change operation from a pot-smoking doctor played by John Carradine.  “It won’t grow back,” Carradine warns him.

Next thing you know, Myron is Myra and is now being played by Raquel Welch.  Pretending to be Myron’s window, Myra goes to the acting school that is run by Myron’s uncle Buck (John Huston) and ends up falling in love with an acting student (played, pretty badly in her film debut, by Farrah Fawcett).  Unfortunately, Fawcett’s in love with a cowboy from Oklahoma so Myra ends up anally raping the cowboy with a big dildo.

Oh, and a 70 year-old Mae West in the film for some reason.  She plays a talent agent. 

It all sounds a lot more interesting than it actually is.

What Worked?

Nothing.  Just in case I’m not being clear, allow me to clarify: Nothing.  Seriously, this may indeed be the worst movie I have ever actually sat through.  What’s said is that it didn’t even work on a “so-bad-its-good” level.  I love trashy film but Myra Breckinridge isn’t really interesting enough to be trashy.  It’s just an amazingly boring film that thinks it’s about sex. 

I’ve also read some who have claimed that this film, bad as it is, has a certain camp appeal.  And, if you’ve never actually seen a campy film, you might think that Myra Breckinridge is camp.  However, camp is not boring.  Myra Breckinridge is.

Actually, there is one scene that has an odd, “you’ve-got-to-see-this-crap” appeal to it and here it is.  Mae West sings “Hard to Handle.” 

What Doesn’t Work:

The entire freaking film.  Seriously.  I mean, I don’t even know where to begin or what specifically to point out because, if you simply take this film’s failings on a problem-by-problem basis, it creates the false impression that the film is somewhat watchable. 

Okay, here’s a few things that I simply will not be able to live with myself if I don’t take a few moments to be a bitch about:

1) There’s a lot of bad movies that are distinguished by interesting or, at the very least, watchable performances.  It’s as if the actors realize that they’re going to go down with the ship unless they bring something new to the film.  (Meanwhile, so-called great films feature some of the worst performances this side of Avatar…)  Unfortunately, Myra Breckinridge is not one of those films.  The cast alternates beyond going insanely overboard (like John Huston and Rex Reed) to delivering their lines with a dull contempt that seems to be directed as much at us as at themselves (like Raquel Welch.)

By the way, Raquel Welch is actually one of my favorite of the old school film stars.  For me, she’s a bit of a role model, a strong Latina who never felt the need to apologize for being both a sex symbol and an intelligent, succesful woman.  But Welch really does give a pretty bad performance here.  Then again, I would argue that she gives the material exactly the amount of effort it deserves.

2) As bad as the cast is, no one is as terrible as Mae West.  The 70 year-old West came out of retirement to play her role here.  Anyway, it’s hard to understand why she’s in this film.  At one point, when she meets a 6’7 actor, she says she’s only concerned with the seven inches.  Now, imagine this being said by your great-great-great-grandma and you have some idea what it’s like to watch her performance here.

3) This film was made in 1970 and it attempts to be all counter-cultural by having “hippies” wandering around in the background.  As well, we get a lot of hard-hitting political satire.  By that, I mean that various fat men in cowboy hats pop up and complain about “smut” and “nudity” in the movies.  I guess the audience is supposed to go, “Oh my God, they’re talking about movies like this!”  It’s for this reason that I think that Myra Breckinridge is actually secretly meant to be a piece of right-wing propaganda.

4) Finally, for no real reason, clips from old 20th Century Fox films are littered throughout the film, popping up randomly to…well, I was going to say “comment on the action,” but few of them manage to do that.  Basically, it works like this: you see Raquel Welch anally raping a man with a dildo.  And then you see a clip of Stan Laurel for a few seconds.  Then, you’re back to Raquel anally raping the man.  Suddenly, there’s a clip of Claudette Colbert smiling.  Suddenly, Raquel’s back and she’s still anally raping the man.  And by the way, I’m not just making this up so I’ll have an example.  This is what actually happens in the film. 

5) And again, allow me to clarify that this film — which features Raquel Welch using a dildo to anally rape a man — is still one of the most boring things ever made.

6) “Okay,” you’re saying, “if you hated it so much then why did you sit through the entire freaking movie, Lisa?”  I did it because, once I start watching a movie, I can’t stop watching until it ends.  That’s my addiction.  That’s my curse.  That’s a duty that I’ve proudly accepted as a film lover.  And not even Myra Breckenridge is going to keep me from doing my duty.

“Oh my God!  Just like me!” Moments:

Yes, I know that this is where I traditionally offer up some sort of teasingly vague comment about my first year at college or where I admit that I’m scared of dogs, heights, swimming, and the area directly behind the television.  And you would be justified in thinking that a film that claims to celebrate sexual freedom and bisexuality would give me the perfect excuse to be all sorts of TMI.

But you know what?  There were absolutely no “Oh my God!  Just like me!” TMI moments in Myra Breckenridge because there was not one single moment that, in any way, rang true or seemed to possess any sort of insight about…well, about anything.  For an X-rated film that was specifically about sexuality, Myra Breckinridge left me as dry as the Sahara.

So, sorry — for the first time, I can say that I watched something that had absolutely no “OMG!  Just like me!” moments.

Lessons Learned:

I will watch anything.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 08 “The Pointy End”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Okay, this is my third time to review an episode of Game of Thrones for this blog.  I previously reviewed episode 2 and then episode 6.  I always seem to end up reviewing episodes in which Drogo does something really brutal and makes me go, “Agck!”  And tonight was no different.

So, when we last left Game of Thrones, the king was dying and Nedd had been appointed protector of the realm.  Nedd was ordered to bow down to Joffrey Beiber but Nedd refused, saying that Joffrey was not the heir to the throne.  This led to the creepy little brat demanding blood and suddenly, Aiden Gillen was holding a knife to Nedd’s throat and saying — in this wonderfully evil way — “I did tell you not to trust me.”

Last week’s episode ended with the promise of violence and the beginning on tonight’s episode delivered on that promise as the Lannister guards came for Nedd’s two daughters — Arya and Sansa — and cut down anyone unfortunate enough to get in their way.  By this point, we expect the violence in this show to be brutal.  Indeed, I think we almost demand it because each drop of blood shed onscreen serves notice that Game of Thrones isn’t just a “sword-and-sorcery fantasy.”  Instead, it’s a show about real people, all of whom have their own motivations, personalities, and individual complexities.  This show is a fantasy that feels real and that was especially evident tonight.

The casual and needless brutality of the Lannisters was emphasized by the fact that they were clad in anonymous armor and carrying metal swords while the majority of their victims were both without weapon and armor.  If nothing else, this sequence left little doubt who the bad guys are and who the good guys are.

Speaking of good guys, I have to admit that I hadn’t given much thought to Syrio until tonight’s episode but I still had to hold back a tear as I watched him knowingly sacrified himself for Arya.  There was something so incredibly poignant about the sight of him standing there with his broken wooden sword, facing down that faceless, armor-clad giant.  For all the respect I give this show for not shying away from the brutality of violence, I was thankful that we didn’t see Syrio struck down.  It allowed the character to go out with the respect that he had definitely earned.

From the moment this show began, I’ve been aware that Arya and (to a much lesser extent) Sansa are two fan favorites and this episode — perhaps for the first time since we saw Arya dealing with Joffrey Bieber in episode 2 — gave me some clues why.  Though Arya was only in the first ten minutes of the episode, she also provided tonight’s most shocking moment when she killed a young boy with “the pointy end.”  It was a well-played scene and one that once established that this is a fantasy with a very human dimension.

Arya escaped the Lannisters but Sansa — not surprisingly — didn’t.  Instead, she was taken into custody.  I have to admit that it’s easy to dislike Sansa.  Previously, I’ve always thought of her as being the equivalent of those silly girls who go on twitter, change their last name to Beiber, and spend all of their time hating on Selena Gomez.  It didn’t help that every time we saw Sansa, she was chasing after that little creepy Joffrey.  However, at the end of tonight’s episode, Sansa partially redeemed herself by begging Joffrey to spare Nedd.  I say partially because she still felt the need to say that she understood that Nedd must have done something wrong.  Obviously, that was probably a diplomatic move on her part but I still found myself wishing that Arya had been there because she would have just ripped the little brat’s throat out.  Still, this final scene was very well-played by both Jack Gleeson (as Joffrey) and Sophie Turner (as Sansa).  Though it ended on a much quieter note than last week’s episode, the end of tonight’s episode carried a lot more emotional weight.

I think one reason that Arleigh wanted me to review this particular episode is because some much of it centered on the two sisters and the different methods they used to deal with the situation they found themselves in.  Just by coincidence, I ended up watching tonight’s episode with my own sister, Erin.  As usual, Erin and I both started to discuss which sister I was like and which sister she was like.  And, as usual, we both wanted to be Arya.

Erin’s argument for being the most like Arya comes down to the fact that, like Arya, she’s athletic, not given to vanity, and has little use for the silly and superficial.  My argument was that, like Arya, I’m the youngest.  Yes, I’m afraid that’s the only argument I could come up with.  As I watched tonight’s episode, I finally forced myself to admit that I’m not Arya.  No, I’m just silly little Sansa, constantly flirting with the wrong guy, getting my entire family into trouble but, if nothing else, always looking good while doing so.  That’s hard to admit because, ultimately, who wouldn’t rather be Arya?

After watching tonight’s episode, I can say that even though I would still rather be an Arya, I can at least be a little less embarrassed about actually being Sansa.

Though this episode was pretty much dominated, for me, by the two sisters, there was actually a good deal else going on.  A few quick highlights:

1) In reaction to the imprisonment of his father, Robb Stark is gathering an army to lead a counter attack against the Lannisters.  I have to admit that Robb hadn’t previously made much of an impression on me but tonight, he came into his own a bit.  I’m still not really sold on him but he did show that he’s not quite as much of a cipher as I originally suspected.  As well, Robb Jon Snow had a great fight scene with a truly creepy assailant.  (Yes,turns out that wasn’t Robb fighting with the assailant, that was Jon.  Sorry, to be honest, neither Robb nor Jon have made a huge impression on me up to this point in the show. — LMB)

2) It was nice to the see the surviving dire wolves pop up on tonight’s episode and actually get to do something.  I’m still angry about that wolf that was put down in episode 2.  Hopefully, one of them will get another chance to bite Joffrey before the season ends.

3) Sometimes, when I think about Peter Dinklage and Game of Thrones, I’m reminded of how I originally assumed that Lost would be the Dominic Monaghan show.  Once the show actually started, it quickly became apparent that Monaghan was just a distinctive member of an ensemble and one reason that I knew Lost was special was because this didn’t bother me.  Monaghan, himself, was so good in his role and such a charismatic presence that you often times found yourself assuming that he had been in more episodes than he actually was.  I often feel the same way about Dinklage.  Even when he only has a few minutes of screen time, Dinklage’s performance dominates.  Dinklage had some strong moments in tonight’s episode and I hope that Emmy voters will take note of how effortlessly he went from providing comic relief to showing some very real and genuine emotion when he heard that Robert was dead. Week after week, Dinklage is such a compelling presence that he almost gives the Lannisters an appeal that they wouldn’t otherwise have.

4) Okay, I’ve said in the past that Drogo is sexy and I’ve had a lot of people give me a hard time about that.  Here’s my argument — yes, he’s a brute and yes, he does occasionally look like he should be sacking Rome in a 1960s biblical epice but he’s also a strong, powerful man who sees what he wants and takes it.  And, sorry, that’s sexy.  Add to that, his clear devotion to Danys and…oh my God, where to begin?  But anyway, the fact that he’s hot doesn’t make it any more appealing to watch him rip someone’s tongue out of their mouth.  Then again, how many men do you know who are capable of actually doing that?  So, tonight’s episode left me conflicted on Drogo but, in the end, he and Danys remain two of the most unpredictable and complex characters that have ever appeared on a television screen.  I don’t know that I’d trade places with Danys but … well, I probably would.  Maybe just for a night…

5) Speaking of disturbingly sexy, Aiden Gillen (playing Littlefinger) may just be one of the great villianous character actors of the 2010s.  He has the wonderfully perverse glint in his eye and he delivers every line with just the right amount of arch contempt.

6) Ironically, the original and interesting and compelling Game of Thrones is followed every Sunday night by its exact opposite, an aggressively hyped and overrated show called Treme.  If I ever have to explain why Game of Thrones is one of the best shows on television, I’ll start by comparing just how real the people of fictional King’s Landing feel when compared to Treme‘s portrayal of the people of the very real city of New Orleans.

Now, as I’ve admitted in the past, I was a Game of Thrones virgin when this series began.  I haven’t read George R. R. Martin’s original novel — though I plan to this summer — and what I know about the eventual direction of the series is pretty much limited to what I’ve read on Wikipedia.  (If some total stranger put it in Wikipedia, it’s got to be accurate, right?)  As such, I know — in the vaguest sense — some of what is going to happen if this series stays true to Martin’s source material.  As such, watching these last few episodes have been a bit like watching a cryptic prophecy steadily start to make sense before your eyes.  I’m now eagerly waiting for the final 2 episodes to see if the prophecies come true.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 07 “You Win Or You Die”

Posted on by Arleigh

HBO was kind enough to allow people who registered for their HBOGO.COM service to watch this seventh episode of Game of Thrones a full week before it aired. I wasn’t planning on watching it ahead of time, but since I already was signed up I decided to just go ahead and watch it. I must say that this latest episode continues to build on what has been a very strong first season for the tv adaptation of George R.R. Martin’s popular and critically-acclaimed medieval fantasy novel series of “A Song of Ice and Fire”.

The last episode was a major turning point for some of the characters in this series. “A Golden Crown” saw Daenerys Targaryen finally become her own woman in the face of her older siblings buffonery and childish tantrums. Behavior which finally got him the “golden crown” he deserved from Khal Drogo (and one which Daenerys seems to approve of). Tyrion Lannister using his wit and cunning mind to get himself extricated from the craziness that was Lysa Arryn and her court in the Eyrie of the Vale. The episode also brings together all the clues and evidence Ned Stark had been gathering about the death of the previous Hand of the King.

One would think that nothing could top all the pivotal events of episode six’s “A Golden Crown”, but this seventh episode surely tops that one with some building on the revelations of the previous episode. It’s really a major testament to showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss at how they’re able to not just stay true to the source material but also condense some of the minor threads of subplots and backstory into an hour episode that’s thrilling, engaging and not pandering to it’s audience.

This episode was aptly titled, “You Win Or You Die” as the fight for the throne of the Seven Kingdoms finally begins. We see the introduction of the Lannister patriarch who has loomed over the series as some unseen Sword of Damocles who holds King Robert’s tenuous hold on his kingdom. It was a treat to see veteran British actor Charles Dance as Tywin Lannister and see him playing the character as a no-nonsense, pragmatic but ruthless leader of his House. His brief time in this episode told us all we needed to know about Tywin. He’s so unlike his three children and this fact has become such a burden to him that he’s willing to take whatever virtue from the one child he sees as his most capable heir in Jamie that he’s willing to forgo all the faults. The scene of him butchering and dressing the stag while talking down (and propping up) Jamie for his foolishness with challenging Ned in episode five was very prophetic.

The episode also sees the return of Jon Snow and his part of the series’ story as he finally gets formally inducted into the Night’s Watch with Sam and the rest of the new recruits. What should’ve been a momentous occasion has been tempered by the sudden news of his uncle Benjen’s disappearance north of the Wall. It also shows Jon at his most petulant. What he saw as punishment from the Night’s Watch trainer and resident asshole in Ser Allister when he gets assigned as the Commander’s squire and steward was seen by his friend Sam as Jon being groomed for future command. For those who have been quite tough on chubby and cowardly Samwell should really have second thoughts about just how useless he is. He is surely becoming the voice of reason and logic to Jon’s more impetuous and “act now, think later” mentality. We also see the return of one of the direwolves as Jon’s (aptly named Ghost) brings him a gruesome gift once he has taken his vows.

The third major event in this episode before we get to it’s climactic finish brings us back to Vaes Dothrak and to Daenerys and Khal Drogo. With Viserys now out of the picture we see Daenerys begin to assert herself on Khal Drogo. While her brother’s dreams of becoming the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms have been dashed with a golden, metallic clang her own ambitions have not. She now sees herself as the true Dragon and still wishes to have the Iron Throne for her unborn son, Rhaego. While Khal Drogo still doesn’t see such things as important for him and his people an event in a marketplace which puts his khaleesi and son in danger finally convinces him of the danger the Seven Kingdoms poses.

This all leads us to the beginning of the “game of thrones”. Ned now fully knows why his predecessor was killed as the secret of Joffrey “Bieber” Baratheon’s lineage becomes quite clear. While more crafty and politically adept individuals would keep the secret from Cersei this is Ned Stark we’re talking about and he confronts his Queen with the news. To say that Cersei wasn’t flustered would be an understatement. This episode showed Lena Headey in full control of the Cersei character as we see her play the role with more iron and spine than what was shown in the novel.

“You Win Or You Die” finally sees an ignominious end to King Robert and his whoring and drinking. What was suppose to be a boar-hunt to help alleviate the stress he has been getting from both the Lannisters and the Starks finally gets him gored by the very boar he’s trying to hunt (though there’s suspicion that his inattentiveness during the hunt may have had some help). Mark Addy does a great job as Robert on his deathbed as he confesses his failings not just as a ruler but as a husband and as a father to the Seven Kingdoms, Cersei and Joffrey respectively. He appoints Ned to become the Regent of the Kingdoms until Joffrey is of age and does so officially with a sealed document.

One would think this final and dying declaration from a dying ruler would be enough to give Ned the power he requires to put the kingdom into order from the coming chaos but that would be selling all the characters with something to gain short. Robert’s not even cold when his younger brother Renly approaches Ned about plans to seize the throne from Cersei, but Ned being the honorable type refuses. Whatever ally he might’ve had to help him leaves the city as he confronts Cersei and Joffrey about the plans of succession. This is where the episode finally explodes into the conflict that’s been building since the very episode.

Some might say that this episode seems quite full of subplots and story threads and might not devote enough time for each. In fact, I was surprised at how much the writers were able to cram into this episode and still make each storyline have the time to make their events important to the series as a whole. While the episode ends with the the “game of thrones” in full swing in King’s Landing, the episode could also mean that things in the Wall and north of it has finally sunk into Jon and his fellow recruits as being truly serious. He and his new brothers must win or die. It’s as simple as that. Even Daenerys’ situation across the Narrow Sea fits the episode title well. With her now the bearer of the Targaryen line and her husband the leader of a powerful army she must also win or die.

Everyone in this episode seems to know the rules of the game their playing except the one person who seemed to be the one who had the most to win or lose. This episode showed Ned at his most intractable and honorable self, but it also showed just how much ill-prepared he is to fight in a battlefield where he doesn’t know who to trust and the very people who he shouldn’t trust might be his only allies. The final scene of the episode really highlight’s this dilemma for Ned and was such a great cliffhanger for the final three episodes to come before the series end’s it’s first season.

For fans of the books this episode shouldn’t disappoint and for new fans it should excite and really pull them in deeper into the world of Martin’s creation. Next week should continue the events we’re left to process as this latest episode ended. Will war finally break out between the two major houses of Lannister and Stark? Will Drogo finally bring his Dothraki horde into the Seven Kingdoms to gift his wife the Iron Throne she covets? What agenda does Littlefinger have and will it be the downfall of one of the houses?

There’s so much to be answered but seeing how this series just seems to get better with each successive episode I don’t doubt that episode eight will drop the ball and disappoint us with the answer (or will more questions arise) to those very questions.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 06 “A Golden Crown”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

(REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS.  DEAL WITH IT.)

So, we’re passed the halfway point now in the first season of Game of Thrones.  After spending the first half of the season setting up the show’s many characters, it’s obvious that the first season is now moving towards its inetivable conclusion.  Not having read the book that this season is based on, I have no idea what that conclusion might be, though I suspect it’s going to be a violent one that’s going to leave a lot of the characters I’ve just gotten to know dead.  To a certain extent, I’m happy that I don’t know what’s coming up.  It allows me the thrill of discovery, if nothing else.

So, in tonight’s episode, there were two major events.  One of those events was kinda cool and fun and contained everything that you would both expect and want to see from a show like this.  The other event came at the end of this episode and was horrific, disturbing, excessive, and yet undeniably effective and watchable.  (And it was topped off by one of the best lines ever uttered on television.)  This event also gave this episode its name.

Let’s go in chronological order.  The cool, fun event involved — no surprise — Tyrion.  To be honest, I don’t pay much attention to or have much respect for the Emmy awards but seriously, if Peter Dinklage doesn’t get an Emmy for his work on this series then there is no justice.   Accused of trying to kill Bran and facing the judgment of the wonderfully insane court of Lysa Arryn, Tyrion spends most of this episode cheating death and Dinklage brought exactly the right combination of arrogance and desperation to his performance tonight.  Hopefully, if Dinklage gets his deserved Emmy nomination, they’ll show a clip of his “confession” from this episode.  (Though I have to say that I am continually astounded and amazed by the sheer number of ways that boys have come up with to avoid saying “masturbate.”)

Tyrion demanded a trial by combat which led to a fight between one of Lysa’s painfully noble knights and Tyrion’s “champion,” Bronn.  And, unlike most television (and move) sword fights, this fight actually felt real.  Watching the two warriors, you felt as if they were actually fighting.  It reminded me of the that episode of The Sopranos where you literally saw James Gandolfini beat Joe Pantoliano to death.  It felt real and, for me, the sight of all that blood pouring out over that formerly pristine armor  is one that I won’t get out of my head any time soon.

After the fight, Lysa accuses Bronn of fighting without honor, to which Bronn perfectly replied (while staring down at the corpse of his opponent), “No.  He did.”  And you know what?  On the basis of that line alone, Bronn is now my fourth favorite character.

(By the way, I was reading another blogger who joked that Lysa’s legal system made more sense than the “ones they’ve got in Alabama or Texas.”  And to that, I say “Fuck you, you goddamn elitist wanna-be Canadian Yankee asshole.”)

My favorite character — Daenrys — got to deliver a pretty great line herself and I’m not going to repeat it because, with my ADD-addled mind, I’ll probably end up misquoting her.  However, anyone who saw tonight’s episode, knows what line I’m talking about.  For me, Dany remains the most intriguing character on this show and the one who consistently manages to surprise me every episode.  Tonight, her surprise was calmly watching as her annoying weakling of a brother Viserys get killed in such a grotesque and horrific fashion that you couldn’t help but feel a little sympathy for him.

That’s right, Viserys got his crown.  Or, more to the point, Drogo pours molten gold on top of Viserys head and Viserys dies.  And even though I was suspecting that Viserys would die, the brutality of it caught me off guard.  To continue with my Sopranos comparison, the sight of Viserys afterward was just as shocking, to me, as the sight of Joe Pantoliano’s dead eyes staring up at the man who just literally beat the life out of him.  Seriously, I couldn’t stand Viserys and all but now I’m kinda scared of accidentally getting trapped underneath a gigantic — but cracked — cauldron of molten gold.

Among the other memorable moments from tonight’s episode, Bran’s encounter in the woods nicely reminded us — as did this whole episode, really — that the world of Game of Thrones isn’t necessarily a pleasant one.  I also continue to cringe whenever that creepy little Joffrey shows up.  Seriously, I keep expecting him to start trying to drag people off to the cornfield or something.

I do have to say that I’m still waiting for Ned to really step up and impress me as a character.  So far, he’s been a sympathetic but vaguely dull character.  You watch him and you never doubt his good intentions but you do doubt his ability to actually accomplish anything.  Sean Bean is a far more capable actor than he’s been allowed to show in the series so far and I’m betting (and hoping) that by the end of the season, Bean will get a chance to shine.

That said, I did enjoy the small subplot of Ned running the kingdom because (along with Lysa’s court), it further highlighted one of the reasons why I love this show.  Every episode so far has featured various characters plotting and scheming and, in every episode so far, those plots and schemes have proven to be no match for the random whims of fate.  If nothing else, Game of Thrones is turning out to be a great portrait of a society that has fooled itself into thinking that the randomness of life can somehow be regulated by tradition, ritual, and law.  And who, out here in the real world, can’t relate to that?

As I’ve mentioned, I’m a newcomer to Game of Thrones.  I have not read the George R. R. Martin novel that the series is based on (though I have read countless Wikipedia entries about every man, woman, and child to appear in the series) and therefore, I can’t judge how the TV series compares to the book.  All I can say is that, having seen the first 6 episodes. Game of Thrones has so far managed to not only capture my interest but to hold on to it as well.  I do have to admit that, during every episode. there’s been the occasional moments where I’ve had to think to myself, “Wait, who is that again and how is he or she related to everyone else?”  But that’s hardly a criticism.  Game of Thrones is a complex series and one of the few that will definitely benefit from multiple viewings once the first season is released on DVD.  In the future, we may very well remember Game of Thrones as being The Wire of fantasy television.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 04 “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things”

Posted on by Arleigh

We’ve now come to the fourth episode of HBO’s very ambitious and expensive medieval fantasy series based on author George R.R. Martin’s “A Song of Ice and Fire” saga of which the first  book make’s up the first season. The first three episodes have done a great job at not just setting up the rules which govern this fantasy world of Martin’s but has deftly handled the many characters both main and supporting. It’s always been one of the many trepidations by fans of the books that the show may dumb down and simplify all these personalities both big and small for the tv screen. Luckily, for both fans and non-fans of the book the writers of the show have kept much of these characters intact.

“Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things” is quite an apt title for this latest episode as it deals with exactly just that. The show explores those three subjects. We begin with both cripple and bastard finding a common ground as Tyrion (Peter Dinklage in what could only be an Emmy-winning performance as the Lannister Imp) shows compassion instead of pity to the crippled Bran Stark despite his very own suspicion as to the cause of Bran’s fall. It’s also in these scene where we see the appearance of fan favorite Hodor (Kristian Nairn). Hodor’s introduction is one of several instances which has allayed my concerns that such minor characters would be trimmed from the book as it makes its way onto the show. While I’m sure the show will not introduce every name from the book at least they’ve taken a deep understanding as to which of the supporting cast in the book must remain even if they are quite minor.

The rest of this episode really deals with the “Broke Things” of the title. We see just how broken the situation has become not just in Castle Black with the Night’s Watch but all across the Seven Realms of Westeros. The king’s insistence in holding a tourney for his newest Hand has led to more debt as more people flood into King’s Landing to witness this event. We see the broken relationships between family members in the houses of Stark, Lannister and Targaryen. It’s these cracks which has led to corruption and intrigue which could only lead to tragedy for the current holder of the Iron Throne and for all of the Westeros.

Even some of the characters themselves show signs of being broken things with the most visible being Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) whose cocky and self-absorbed personality shows hints of humanity. He sees what his king has been doing to hurt not just the kingdom he serves but to his sister Cersei whom he loves. There’s a brief hint in his expression as he stands guard outside Robert’s bedroom as whores attend his brother-in-law knowing he cannot do anything to fix it without living up once more to his infamous moniker of Kingslayer.

This episode introduces several new characters that should have some impact in the coming weeks as the show leads to it’s climactic season finale. One character which should please fans and make non-fans of the book lean with interest is the “Mountain”. Gregor Clegane is aptly named and comes in as Sandor “The Hound” Clegane’s (Joffrey Bieber’s personal guard with the half0burned face) older and much more brutal brother. We don’t hear him speak, but his entrance and what he does during the jousting tournament looms large in that sequence. It helps that Petyr Baelish (Aidan Gillen great in the role) gives Sansa a brief tale concerning the “Mountain” and the “Hound” which adds some mystery to the two siblings which the writers will hopefully explore further as the series moves along this season and the next.

The other new character that gets some major time in this episode was one of the stronger ones in terms of portrayal. Samwell Tarly (John Bradley-West sticking the role almost perfectly) is the latest recruit to don the black of the Night’s Watch and he’s as far from the ideal candidate for the black as any this show has shown. He’s fat, cowardly and almost effeminate in his behavior, but the character comes in as a broken thing. He’s forced to join the only thing he knows would accept him despite his shortcomings and the only haven from the suffering he has endured from his own family. At first it seems like pity that forces Jon Snow to take Sam under his wing for protection, but as he learns more of Sam’s background from Sam himself the more he sees similarities between the two of them. Only the turn of the fate having put Jon in the compassionate care of Eddard Stark has made him into the young man he is and becoming. It’s this growing rapport between Jon and Sam which really governs the Night’s Watch part of Game of Thrones.

But the show is not all about cripples, bastards and broken things. We see the beginning of the inner fires in both Daenerys Targaryen and Catelyn Stark in this episode. With the former we see how much she continues to grown into the role of Khaleesi of the Dothraki Horde. The confrontation between her and her older brother Viserys should begin to allay fears fans have had about how the writers have been handling the Daenerys character. Yes, the first three episodes haven’t really shown Daenerys being strong and kickass, but even in the book she wasn’t written to be such a character right from the onset. In both book and show her growing confidence still takes time. It just happens that the show just made her quite pliable and weak to start off with. I think that by the time this season ends Daenerys will grow into the confident character fans have been waiting to see.

With Catelyn Stark the situation has been a bit more complex as her character has been given several more layers of complexities with her book counterpart didn’t have. In the book she’s almost Ned Stark’s equal in almost everything, but lost in that was an emotional core which the show has given her. It’s this emotional layer which has added a loving motherly aspect to the character. It sometimes came off as helplessness in the previous episodes, but what mother wouldn’t feel so frozen with worry and inaction for the tragedy to have struck one of her sons. The fire that fans have been waiting for begins to fan as Catelyn sees herself confronting one of the very Lannister’s who she believes had a hand in the assassination attempt on her crippled son, Bran. Her reciting the many different bannermen who are loyal to her house and to her husband’s house was very inspiring and just a hint of what will come next as a storm of swords and a clash of kings loom over the horizon of Westeros.

Overall, “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things” continues a streak of excellent episodes in the premiere season for Game of Thrones. We see more intrigue and machiavellian machinations than action, but it’s entertaining and thrilling nonetheless. This show has shown that fantasy, especially on TV, doesn’t have to be always about battles and bloodshed (though the spearing of the knight at the joust was done bloody well enough). It’s the political maneuverings and intrigues which will ultimately drive this show towards the very battles and bloodshed fans of these type of shows end up craving for.

Next week’s episode will be “The Wolf and The Lion”.


PS: It was great to see Jon Snow’s direwolf finally appear in its grown form. We’ve already it as an albino pop, but not grown like we’ve already seen with Summer, Nymeria and Lady. Ghost will soon become a favorite with the show’s fans the more he appears. The only one’s we haven’t seen are Robb Stark’s Grey Wind and Rickon Stark’s Shaggydog.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 03 “Lord Snow”

Posted on by Leonard Wilson

Please bear with me. I don’t know if I’ve ever written about a tv show before and as a result, this may come across as being more of a capture of what happened rather than the typical “Conversation With You” style I’m used to writing (as that can get a little long winded and off track). This is new to me here.

This week’s episode of Game of Thrones is something of an in between episode, more of an exposition piece than anything. You can’t have action all of the time, so you need one of these every now and then. To start, things are changing in the map, we are given the usual scenes until near the end, where we see the Dorthraki army making it’s way across the land. I’m really enjoying that.

Arriving at King’s Landing, he finds Jamie Lannister waiting for him. The two share words over the death of Stark’s father, but we have some understanding into the Lannister / Stark conflict. Stark then meets with a counsel of the King’s men (including an interesting cameo by Julian Glover). Together, they inform Stark that they are going to have a tournament, but that actually paying for it would be an issue because the land is facing a debt.

I liked the discussion between the Queen and her son on being a King, in that ruling is not all about inflicting your will on others. She’s taking her time with going against the Starks, but the son really needs to learn that. He’s like Draco Malfoy whining about having to down “filthy mudbloods”. Tyrion clearly needs to smack him up a little more.

It seems like Ned is having some fatherly issues with his girls. One resents him for thinking of her as a child and the other is still trying to prove the truth of Joffrey’s attack on her. I have to admit that I liked Ned’s approach with the younger daughter, Arya. He explains to her why her sister couldn’t back her on what Joffrey did, but at least let her keep the sword. That, coupled with the way the episode ended was nice to see.

I get the feeling that no one in this land really likes the Lannisters (save for Tyrion, who’s fantastic in my eyes). I loved seeing the King somewhat tear into Jamie Lannister about their smug faces. They’re just so uppity (for lack of a better word), that I wonder how the King ended up with the Queen in the first place.

Although Jon is at The Wall, kicking tail as if he were the Dark Knight himself, he’s not making too many friends there. As always, Tyrion is able to get him out of a nasty situation, and Peter Dinklage really has been amazing in this show. I wouldn’t be shocked to see him get an Emmy nod somewhere down the line.

Daenerys, upon hearing about how the slaves are acquired, orders the convey to stop. Viserys catches word of this and threatens her only to be stopped by one of Drogo’s men. I’m really liking how Daenerys is adjusting to her new role. She’s making decisions and learning the language. The surprise of her pregnancy seems to be a good thing, but I’m not yet sure why her advisor had such a problem with it. I’m imagining that this will be brought out in the next episode, but that’s definitely something I wouldn’t mind finding out about.

The ending of this episode was great, with a nice teacher / student scene with Arya. She’s learning to fight, and I’m hoping that at some point, she manages to “stick the pointy end” of her blade into little Joffrey. Of course, this may be a little much to ask at this point, but see there being at least one action point with her in the future.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 02 “The Kingsroad”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

With Arleigh being away in Boston this weekend, I’ve agreed to attempt to review the second episode of Game Of Thrones, The Kingsroad.  I say attempt because, unlike Arleigh and a lot of our regular readers, I am totally and completely unfamiliar with the books that this show is based on. 

In other words, up until last week, I was a virgin, at least as far as Game of Thrones was concerned.  And while I’m happy to say that losing my Game of Thrones virginity was actually a lot more enjoyable than losing my actual virginity,  it still left me, in many ways, just as confused.  Who are all these people? I wondered as I watched the 1st episode.  Other thoughts that I can remember off the top of my head: Awww…cute little wolves!  Wait, is he the king?  My red hair is prettier than hers.  What the Hell’s going on?  Hey, it’s that guy!  Huh?  Peter Dinklage for the win!  What?  Huh?  Oh shit, that kid’s going to leave a mess when he lands! 

Unlike those of you who have read the books, I came into Game of Thrones with absolutely no tools to help me keep everything straight.  But yet, through a combination of surprisingly sincere performances, intriguing plot twists, and hot guys acting like men, the show held my interest to enough of an extent that I decided to come this week and get confused all over again.

So, what about this latest episode?  Well, looking at it from the point of view of someone who is still learning this show’s language, I think The Kingsroad was the perfect follow-up.  After the somewhat frantic pilot episode, Kingsroad slowed the story down a bit and instead devoted most of its time to allowing us to get to know the characters and filling in a lot of backstory.  If the first episode concentrated on making the character watchable, this episode concentrates on making the characters into human beings with all the individual quirks, flaws, and strengths that go along with being human.  The pilot told us why we should watch.  This episode gave us some clues as to why we should care.

After seeing tonight’s episode, there’s still a lot that I don’t understand but I understand enough to know that Joffrey’s a little punk and Tyrion — Tyrion just flat out rocks.  (Though, and this is how much of freaking newbie I really am, I originally called him Tyrone throughout this entire review.)

Below are ten other somewhat random thoughts inspired by watching the second episode of Games of Thrones.

1) If I came away with anything from tonight’s episode, it’s that I really need to get myself one of those dire wolves.  Over the course of this latest episode, I saw one wolf rip open an assassin’s throat while another one attacked that hateful little brat Joffrey.  I mean, I love my cat but the only person he’s willing to attack is me.  As long as he gets fed, he doesn’t care if I live or die.

2) But then there was that heart breaking moment when Nedd had to kill Sansa’s dire wolf.  I have to admit that I was cringing when I first saw Nedd holding that blade and that I kinda breathed a sigh of relief when I realize that they weren’t actually going to show it happen.  But then that pathetic yelp erupted on the soundtrack and it just left me heartbroken.

3) Which is why I can now say that I will probably never dislike another character as intensely as I now dislike Joffrey.  In retrospect, the most satisfying part of this episode was watching Tyrion slap Joffrey around at the beginning.

4) And speaking of Tyrion, Peter Dinklage kicks so much serious ass that I don’t even know where to start in praising his performance.  His big scene here (outside of slapping around Joffrey) was when he explained to Jon that, if he was a peasant, he would have been left in the forest to die.  He delivered the line with the perfect combination of cynicism, weariness, and dark humor.  It’s too early to say for sure but I may have found someone to fill the Josh Halloway-shaped void in my heart that was created when Lost ended.

5) I have to say that Sansa, with her refusal to stand-up for her younger sister and her reference to the wounded Joffrey as her “poor prince,” is not doing her fellow redheads proud.  Of course, I’m sure some of it has to do with the fact that she’s kind of overshadowed by her far cooler baby sister. I guess that has to be difficult to deal with.  Next chance I get, I’ll ask my older sisters about it to find out for sure. 🙂

6) The majority of this episode’s actual “plot” centered around Bran who was last seen getting kicked out of a very high window.  Shockingly enough, he’s still alive but he spends most of the show in a coma.  To be honest, there was only one false moment for me in this episode and it came when Catelyn found that hair at the “scene of the crime.”  I mean, what’s she going to do with it?  Call in David Caruso and have him take it back to Miami to be analyzed?  Still, I enjoyed the look on the faces of both Cersei and Jaime when they heard that Bran was alive.

7) One thing that I am greatly enjoying about this show is the way that the personal and the political mix throughout the story.  For all the plotting and talk of strategy, most of the show’s past and future conflict appears to be largely the result of wounded pride, jealousy, insecurity, and miscommunication.  Just like in real life and that, I think, is why this show will survive and why I will continue to watch it even if I am never 100% sure just what exactly is really going on.

8 ) I’m actually enjoying the fact that Game of Thrones takes a bit of effort to follow.  It was actually a pretty wise choice on the show’s producers’ part to just jump right into the action.  It makes the show feel real and relatable.  It allows even those of us who haven’t read the books to enjoy it.

9) So, did all you guys out there enjoy watching Daenerys learning how to pleasure her scary giant of a husband?  It’s okay if you did because I did and I’m a card-carrying Ms. 45 feminist.  Fact of the matter is that, once you get through all of the  usual “quality television” arguments, the main appeal of HBO is that its quality television with frequent frontal nudity.  (That’s why me and Erin used to secretly watch Oz when we were younger.)  And Daenerys’ demand that Drogo at least look at her face while using her — well, who couldn’t relate to that?

10) Finally, I have to mention that this show has got to have one of the best opening credit sequences ever!  Seriously,  that majestic yet ominous music  playing over images of a civilization being created, it’s a wonderful combination and definitely one that I hope to see for many more weeks to come.

Film Review: Win Win (dir. by Thomas McCarthy)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

When I watched the pilot episode of Game Of Thrones, I got very excited when I saw that Thomas McCarthy was credited as the director.  Now, McCarthy isn’t a household name but chances are, you’ve seen him.  He played the plagiarist journalist in the final season of The Wire.  He was John Cusack’s romantic rival in 2012.  He was nominated for an Academy Award for co-writing the Pixar film Up.  However, McCarthy has received most of his critical acclaim as the director of low-key, character dramas like The Station Agent and The Visitor.  I have to admit that I was shocked to see McCarthy’s name linked to Game of Thrones because, with the exception of Peter Dinklage, it appeared to have nothing in common with his previous films.  Well, turns out that I wasn’t the only one who thought that because apparently, despite McCarthy being credited as the director, the majority of the pilot was actually reshot (quite well) by Tim Van Patten.

So, you might not be seeing Thomas McCarthy’s work on television but fortunately, you can still catch it in the movie theaters.  McCarthy’s latest film is a surprisingly poignant comedy called Win Win.

InWin Win, Mike (played by Paul Giamatti) is an attorney who works and lives in small New Jersey town.  Mike is married to Jackie (Amy Ryan), owns a big house, helps to coach the high school’s mediocre wrestling team, and can’t pay his bills.  Rather than let his family know that he’s on the verge of going broke, Mike instead becomes the legal guardian of one of his clients, the increasingly senile Leo (Burt Young).  In return to acting as Leo’s guardian, Mike receives a payment.  He also promises to take care of Leo so that Leo doesn’t have to enter a nursing home.  However, since Mike is played by Paul Giamatti, it doesn’t come as much of a shock that Mike promptly moves Leo out of his home and into the nursing home.  Leo, however, is too senile to understand that he’s being taken advantage of and all of Mike’s second thoughts disappear as soon as he gets the first check.

However, things get complicated once Leo’s delinquent grandson Kyle (Alex Shaffer) shows up looking for his grandfather.  Mike takes Kyle to see Leo and soon finds out that Kyle’s mother (and Leo’s daughter) Jill (Melanie Lynesky) is currently in drug rehab and Kyle has nowhere to go.  Reluctantly, he and Jackie agree to allow Kyle to stay with their family until his mother gets out of rehab.

While Kyle, at first, seems to just be an inarticulate drop out, he quickly reveals to himself to actually be a very intelligent (if very angry) young man.  Even better, from Mike’s point-of-view, Kyle is a former wrestling champion.  Mike arranges for Kyle to enroll in the local high school and join the wrestling team.  With Kyle now on the team, they actually start to win matches.  Suddenly, everything is starting to look up for Mike.  He’s a town hero, Jackie starts to bond with Kyle, and Leo remains unaware of how Mike is taking advantage of him.

And then, Kyle’s mom shows up and everything pretty much goes to Hell.

Win Win is the latest entry in the genre of film known as Paul Giamatti Has A MidLife Crisis.  The fact that the film remains interesting despite being the thousandth time that we’ve seen Giamatti have a midlife crisis is a tribute to both McCarthy’s intelligent script and Giamatti’s excellent lead performance.  Giamatti could play these roles in his sleep and the fact that he doesn’t is what makes him such a consistently interesting character actor.  Giamatti gets strong support from Shaffer and especially Ryan.  However, my favorite performance in the film came from Bobby Cannavale, who plays Giamatti’s loyal if somewhat dull-witted best friend.  Cannavale shows that you can give a very smart performance playing dumb and hopefully, his performance here well lead to greater things for him.

Now, I have to admit — I know nothing about wrestling.  Actually, I know less than nothing about wrestling.  And, to be honest, I really don’t care if I ever know anything about it.  Yet this film, which centered around wrestling, held my attention because McCarthy, as a director, uses the wrestling story to portray something universal.  His direction here is never flashy nor is it technically perfect.  (To be honest, I counted three appearances by the boom mic.)  McCarthy isn’t a polished director but that lack of polish works to this film’s advantage.  He may not have been the right director for Game of Thrones but he was obviously just what Win Win needed.

Review: Game of Thrones Ep. 01 “Winter Is Coming”

Posted on by Arleigh

[some spoilers]

George R.R. Martin’s historical fantasy series, A Song of Ice and Fire, has been decades in the making and has gained such a massive and loyal following that when news arrived several years back that HBO will adapt the first book in the series, A Game of Thrones, the news was welcome with cheers and some trepidation. Cheers because finally one of the most beloved fantasy novels of the last couple decades was finally getting a live-action treatment it’s fans were clamoring for. The trepidation came from these very same fans hoping that those involved in adapting the book didn’t screw things up and ruin something very precious to them.

Showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss have adapted what some consider a very complex and dense fantasy novel and came up with something that stays true to the source material while still keeping things from becoming too overly complicated. The first episode is aptly titled, “Winter Is Coming” and we see the show begin with an impressive panoramic scene showing the Wall in all its imposing grandeur as several member’s of it’s Nightwatch Brotherhood venture north of it into the snow-covered, icy wasteland in search of the nomadic wildlings. Their search find them not just a tribe of wildlings (not in a condition one would consider living) and something else which their Brotherhood were created to protect the rest of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros south of the wall from. The Others make a brief and chilling appearance in the first ten minutes of the episode to give a glimpse as to the true danger poised to strike down on Westeros.

The episode soon moves to the kingdom who stands guard just south of the Wall and whose lord, Eddard Stark, stands to be one of the first line of defense against the winter that is coming and the dangers it brings. Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark is the sort of noble, uncompromising lord that stories of chivalry have taught readers for hundreds of years, but who really is the rare gem in a sea of rough and flawed stones that make up the other lords and knights of the Seven Kingdoms. We see him tending to his castle-fortress of Winterfell as he oversees not just his growing sons and daughters, but the sudden news that his old friend and liege, King Robert Baratheon (played with gluttonous glee by Mark Addy), will be arriving with his entourage to Winterfell.

The episode is slighty a few minutes above an hour in running time and in that time Benioff and Weiss were able to introduce a multitude of characters both large and small which would remain important throughout this series’ 10-episode run. We meet the rest of the Stark clan from Ned’s loyal and down-to-earth wife Catelyn (from House Tully) to his sons, Robb, Bran, Rickon and Jon Snow (Ned’s bastard son hence the “Snow” surname). Then there are his two daughters who are sun and moon in difference with Sansa the older and more social-conscious daughter to Arya the tomboy younger sister who wishes nothing more than to learn how to be a knight. Maisie Williams as Arya Stark is a joy to watch in her brief scenes in the episode. She fully embodies the spirit of Arya which has made the character such a fan favorite since she was first introduced by Martin to readers everywhere in August 1996.

Other fine performances of note in the episode were the ones put forth by Peter Dinklage as the dwarf Lannister brother to the gleaming beauties of his twin siblings, Queen Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey in a haughty performance so similar to her Gorgo role in 300, but minus the nobility inherent in the title) and Jaime “Kingslayer” Lannister (Nicolas Coster-Waldau playing the role as a bon vivant, pretty boy knight). It doesn’t take long to see Dinklage not as a dwarf actor playing a dwarf role, but just as Tyrion the bitter, world-weary son who knows his place in the scheme of things and have accepted them thus making him one of the most honest characters in this episode to date outside of Ned Stark.

The cinematography for this first episode was stunning to say the least. From the frozen forests and domain north of the Wall shot in such stark white and blues to the lush and earthy look given to the tropical domain of the Dothraki where the surviving children of the former king of Westeros now reside looking to find allies to retake their rightful place as ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. Even Winterfell is given such loving detail in how its shot to allow it to gain a semblance of personality. A personality of a kingdom harsh and one to brook the foolhardy and soft. Winterfell looks like a place that produces hardy, fatalistic, but able men willing to do that which must be done.

For fans of the book this episode shouldn’t be too difficult to follow despite all the characters being introduced. In fact, for a first episode it really packs in the details that set’s up what will become the many different plot strands that will begin to weave itself into complex tapestry of a tale that will take audiences from the stark realm of the The Wall and Winterfell to the lush seat of power at King’s Landing to the tropical and savannah flatlands for the Dothraki realm. It’s this attention to detail that may lose some non-fans of the books as it could be too much too handle right away. But I think viewers of HBO drama series of the past should be well-versed in juggling such amounts of details right from the get-go. If loyal fans of the Wire, Oz, Deadwood, True Blood and The Sopranos can attest to it’s learning how to handle such details in stride and just let the story take them away.

“Winter Is Coming” goes a long way towards quieting any lasting trepidations fans of the novels may have of this live-action adaptation. All the hype and media ad blitz HBO has created to push this series had given it a high bar to reach before an episode had even aired, but now that the first one has aired I’m happy to say that it more than reached that high bar and looks to surpass it with each coming new episode. If there was ever a scent that should truly sell this show to fans and non-fans alike it is the final three minutes. As lurid and licentious a sequence as it may be it is also one that sets the wheels turning for the rest of the series and show that Game of Thrones is not your typical fantasy drama on TV.

As an aside, the second viewing of this episode I ended up muting the early intro sequence and just listened to German power metal band’s song about Game of Thrones…it actually fit in well according to my fantasy nerd sensibilities.

Lisa Marie Goes Down On Mildred Pierce (dir. by Michael Curtiz)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

A quick note: By titling this post “Lisa Marie Goes Down On Mildred Pierce” I have now not only proven that there’s no dare I will not accept but I’ve also won a small but useful sum of cash.  Never let them tell you that blogging doesn’t pay off.

Like a lot of people, I was looking forward to HBO’s remake of Mildred Pierce, featuring Kate Winslet in the role made famous by Joan Crawford.  And I hate to say it but, as hard as I’ve tried, I simply can not get into this remake.  Maybe it’s because the remake’s director, Todd Haynes, has apparently decided to use five hours to tell the exact same story that the original film told in less than two.  All I know is that the HBO version has, so far, been slow, ponderous, and ultimately a rather dull affair.

As I attempted to stay awake through the remake, I found myself wondering how the original 1945 film compared to the remake.  Fortunately, I just happened to have the original on DVD.  As well, by watching the original Mildred Pierce, I could continue my current mission to see every single film ever nominated for best picture.  (Joan Crawford won the Oscar for Best Actress for her performance as Mildred but the film itself lost Best Picture to Billy Wilder’s The Lost Weekend.)

 Mildred Pierce opens with the murder of sleazy playboy Monty Beragon (Zachary Scott).  Monty’s wife, Mildred (Joan Crawford), responds to the murder by attempting to frame her ex-business partner, the equally sleazy Wally Fay (Jack Carson).  However, the police arrest Mildred’s 1st husband, the well-meaning but really, really dull Bert (Bruce Bennett).  This leads to Mildred going to the police in an attempt to clear Bert’s name.  As the police interrogate Mildred, she tells them (and the film uses flashbacks to show us)  how she went from being a dissatisfied housewife to a succesful businesswoman to finally becoming Monty’s wife.  Through it all, Mildred is motivated by the need to take care of and spoil her manipulative daughter Veda (Ann Blyth).

Seen now, Mildred Pierce is an artifact of different time but, as a secret history nerd, I happen to love studying artifacts.  Like many of the films of the late 40s, Mildred Pierce‘s melodramatic plot serves as a reflection of a culture that, in the wake of World War II, was no longer as smugly complacent about how the world worked.  As I watched Mildred Pierce, the thing I immediately noticed was just how much the film seemed to be suspended between pre-War and post-War culture.  It’s the type of film that goes out of it’s way to acknowledge Mildred’s role as a “new woman” but, at the same time, still finds time to include numerous “comedic” scenes of various men leering at Mildred’s ankles. 

(Actually, I guess they were supposed to be staring at her legs but, since this was the 40s, this could only be represented by an occasional flash of ankle.  Personally, my ankles are okay but I like my legs better.)

Mildred Pierce is often cited as being a forerunner to feminist cinema and I have to admit I have some issues with that.  Yes, the film does acknowledge that a woman can be tough and that a woman can be a succesful businesswoman.  However, the film’s message ultimately seems to be that mothers who work will ultimately raise daughters who will become burlesque dancers and potential killers.  Mildred Pierce doesn’t so much celebrate female independence as much as it fears it.  If only Mildred had remained married to boring and predictable Bert than Veda would never have ended up as a murder suspect.

The question of ideology aside, the original Mildred Pierce remains an entertaining example of old school melodrama.  Director Michael Curtiz was one of those “craftsmen” who, in the 30s and 40s, seemed to direct hundreds of films without ever really establishing any sort of unique style of their own.  Instead, they simply used whichever style that would be most efficient towards dramatizing the script.  For Mildred Pierce, Curtiz imitated the style of a B-movie film noir.  It’s a good approach for this story even if Curtiz doesn’t seem to understand  the shadows of noir quite as well as his contemporaries Billy Wilder or Robert Siodmak.

Of course, Mildred Pierce is best known as the film that won Joan Crawford an Oscar.  I haven’t seen many of Crawford’s films (though I have seen Faye Dunaway playing her in Mommie Dearest) and I’ve got an unapologetic girlcrush on Kate Winslet but I honestly have to say that I prefer Crawford’s version of Mildred to Winslet’s.  Because, as much as I idolize Kate Winslet, she doesn’t seem to so much be playing Mildred Pierce as much as she’s observing her.  Crawford, meanwhile, sank her perfectly manicured nails into the role and pretty much refused to let go until she got her Oscar.  Crawford plays Mildred as a woman so obsessed with survival that she seems to be perfectly willing to destroy the rest of the world if that’s what it takes.  To be honest, it’s really not a great acting job but it certainly is fun to watch. Technically, Winslet gives the better performance but Crawford is a lot more entertaining.

(That said, I still love Kate and I actually would probably fall at her feet and say, “Thank you,” if I ever met her in real life because she’s really one of my heroes.  Physically, I developed early and I had to deal, at way too early an age, with a combination of a physical maturity and emotional immaturity.  By the time I was 13, I was so totally overwhelmed by the insecurity and uncertainty but then I read an interview with Kate Winslet in which she said, “I like having tits and an ass.”  And that, to be honest, was the first time I had ever come across anyone saying that it was okay to like your body.  So, anyway, the point of all that is that I love Kate Winslet.)

Crawford pretty much dominates the entire film but a few of the other performers do manage to make an impression.  As Mildred’s ex-husband, Bruce Bennett is pretty boring but the other men in Mildred’s life are well-played by Jack Carson and Zachary Scott.  Scott especially was well-cast as the type of guy that we always says we’re done with just to end up hooking up with them whenever we’re at our weakest.  As Veda, Anne Blyth gives such a driven and intense performance that you actually believe that she could be the daughter of Mildred Pierce.

In the end, Mildred Pierce isn’t really a great film but it is a lot of fun and that’s a definite improvement on the current remake.