Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out! 1.8 “….Or Get Off The Pot”

Posted on November 25, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Saturdays, I will be reviewing the Canadian sitcom, Check it Out, which ran in syndication from 1985 to 1988. The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

After celebrating Thanksgiving and my sister’s birthday, all in the same week, I’m exhausted but I still managed to review yet another episode of Check It Out! So, I guess …. check it out below!

Episode 1.8 “….Or Get Off The Pot”

(Dir by Ari Dikijian, originally aired on November 20th, 1985)

As this week’s episode opens, Edna (Dinah Christie) is excited because it’s her 7-year anniversary with Howard! Seven years ago, Howard took her out to celebrate Secretary’s Day and they ended up going back to his place. What some people would call a clear breach of workplace etiquette, Edna calls the beginning of something wonderful. She can’t wait to see what Howard is going to do for their anniversary!

And what is Howard planning on doing? He’s planning on going bowling with the guys.

YIKES!

Realizing that Howard seems to have real issues with commitment, Edna follows a friend’s advice and she demands that Howard join her in seeing a relationship therapist. Howard is not a big fan of therapy and he tries to get out of it by moving back his bowling game and offering to take Dinah to a theme restaurant afterwards. (The restaurant’s theme? Bowling!) Edna does not agree. Therapy it is!

Needless to say, the therapy doesn’t go well. There’s only one happy couple at the session and they’re married but not to each other. Everyone else is miserable, despite the fact that their therapist is played by Helen Seymour, who played the nice (and doomed) laundromat owner in the original My Bloody Valentine. Edna eventually gives Howard an ultimatum about proposing to her but she changes her mind after Howard apologizes for taken her for granted. After a night of anniversary sex (“You apologized several times,” Edna says), Howard agrees to marry her someday and Edna agrees not to run off with her building’s gardener.

Meanwhile, the employees of Cobb’s pool their money to buy Howard and Edna an anniversary gift. Why would they do that? Like seriously, they’re always talking about how little they get paid but now, they’re pooling their money to buy a gift for someone else’s anniversary? Anyway, Christian takes their money and buys Howard a new golf club. Good for him!

This episode didn’t add up too much but, on the plus side, Don Adams and Dinah Christie had more chemistry in this episode than they had in previous episodes. This is the first time, since I started watching this show, that I’ve believed Howard and Edna as a couple. That said, their relationship is still probably the least interesting part of this show. So far, the best episodes of Check It Out! have been the ones taking place not in the office but on the salesfloor.

Next week, someone is stealing the store’s pricey gourmet food! Can Howard catch the Phantom of the Market!?

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 3.17 “April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending”

Posted on November 22, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, a special guest returns!

Episode 3.17 “April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending”

(Dir by George Tyne, originally aired on January 12th, 1980)

Let’s see. This week’s episode is entitled April’s Love/We Three/Happy Ending and….

Wait?

Whose love?

April?

Oh no (or oh yes, depending on how you view things), it’s a Charo episode!

Charo was hardly the only celebrity to frequently appear on The Love Boat but she was the only one to always play the same character. April first boarded the ship as a stowaway and then she returned as an entertainer. She appeared at least once in almost every season. In many ways, Charo was the perfect fit for The Love Boat. She was loud, flamboyant, and shameless. She was sexy but innocent. She was the epitome of The Love Boat aesthetic. At the same time, a little Charo went a long way and, whenever she boarded the ship, you knew the episode was pretty much going to be 75% Charo.

That’s the case here, in which the crew makes such a big deal over April that you have to wonder if they’re aware that there are other passengers on board. April boards the ship with her manager and fiancé, Honest Tex (Forrest Tucker). The crew doesn’t trust Honest Tex, especially when they find out that he was a used car salesman before he met April. When Honest Tex hears Julie playing her flute and offers to get her a recording contract, the crew assumes that he wants to cheat on April!

(Side note: Since when did Julie start playing the flute?)

Fortunately, Honest Tex turns out to be sincere and he really does have a heart as big as Texas. After April tells him what the crew has been saying about him, Honest Tex admits that he has been lying about something. He was actually born in New Jersey. April sings a song, the crew apologizes, and April and Honest Tex leave the boat a happy couple.

While this is going on, William and Betty Robinson (Don Adams and Juliet Mills) board the boat so they can get some work done. They are married screenwriters but they are on the verge of divorce. Once they finish their current script, they can split up. The only problem is that William doesn’t want to split up with her. Isaac suggests that William just never finish the script. William hides the script in his nightstand and then, saying that it’s been lost, he works with Betty to write a new script in which a couple stays together. Betty and William realize that they still love each other. Betty discovers that William hid the script but she then confesses that she had another copy of the original script the whole time. Awwwwwww! This was a cute story. Don Adams was a lot more likable here than he is on Check It Out! and Juliet Mills is a lot less annoying than her sister Hayley.

(Admittedly, I really only know Hayley from her time as Miss Bliss on those weird episodes of Saved By The Bell. But seriously, Miss Bliss was the worst!)

Finally, Tom Thornton (Ross Martin) boards the boat and is surprised to see his ex-girlfriend, Martha (Marjorie Lord), and Martha’s adopted daughter, Laura Rogers (Laurie Walters). Laura happens to be Tom’s daughter! Tom isn’t sure whether or not he should reveal he is Laura’s father but meeting Vicki and hearing about how happy Vicki was when she discover Captain Stubing was her father leads to Tom telling Laura the truth. Laura is happy to have a father and Martha is happy to reunite with Tom. This was another sweet story, featuring sincere performances from both Ross Martin and Marjorie Lord. (Plus, Vicki finally did something to justify breaking all of the labor laws that are undoubtedly being violated by having a 12 year-old working on a cruise ship.)

This episode featured two sweet and sincerely-acted stories but both of them are overshadowed by April and Honest Tex. Personally, I think April is an amusing character and, as I said, Charo was the epitome of the ideal Love Boat celebrity guest. But it’s still hard not to feel that the other passengers deserved just as much attention as Charo received in this episode. That said, this was still an enjoyable cruise. A good time was had by all. I know Charo will return in future episodes but I have a feeling we’ll never hear from Honest Tex again.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.7 “A Rosenbloom By Any Other Name”

Posted on November 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Advance warning: This episode is pretty dumb.

Episode 1.7 “A Rosenbloom By Any Other Name”

(Dir by Ari Dikijian, originally aired on November 13th, 1985)

Oh God, this episode.

Seriously, I’m just going to start things out by admitting upfront that this episode was a bit too frantic for me. Obviously, a lot of great comedy has come out of misunderstandings but in the case of this episode, most of the misunderstandings were just too stupid to be amusing.

So, basically, cashier Jennifer Woods (Tonya Williams) has been promised a raise by Howard and she is really looking forward to using that money to pay off her new car. But, when she receives her paycheck, she discovers that the raise did not go through. Marlene, ever the trouble maker, tells her that Howard must have lied about trying to get her the raise.

But Howard didn’t lie! He submitted the paperwork to a Mr. Federson at the corporate headqyarters and Federson has yet to approve it. Howard marches into his office and discovers Edna on the phone. Howard tells Edna to hang up and call Federson. Edna says that (for some reason) she’s already on the phone with Federson.

“Ask him where the Hell Jennifer’s raise is!” Howard says.

“Where the Hell is Jennifer’s raise?” Edna repeats.

Federson takes offense to the way the question was asked and hangs up. Howard tells Edna that it’s her fault for using that tone with Federson but Edna replies that she was using Howard’s tone and, for what seems like an hour or two, they debate who is responsible for which tone. Howard tells Edna to call up Federson and apologize for her tone. Edna calls Federson and apologizes for Howard’s tone and Federson tells her to tell Howard to man up and apologize himself. Oh, and Jennifer’s raise is now cancelled because Canada apparently has very lax labor laws.

While this is going on, Howard is also having to deal with an old woman named Mrs. Rosenbloom (Helen Hughes), who is standing outside the store in the Toronto cold. Howard brings Mrs. Rosenbloom inside. Mrs. Rosenbloom says that she’s waiting for her son, Sheldon but she’s not sure where he is or what his phone number is. “I don’t want to be a bother,” Mrs. Rosenbloom continually says as she bothers Howard for everything from a chair to a cup of soup.

Meanwhile, Jack Christian and Murray build a gigantic display of taco chips. Unfortunately, the display gets to be too high and it falls over on top of Mrs. Rosenbloom. Luckily, she appears to be okay. “Those chips have sharp edges!” Howard exclaims.

Marlene encourages Jennifer to sue the company for discrimination, as Jennifer is the only black person working at the store and also the only one to not get a raise. Howard panics when he learns that Jennifer has hired Marlene’s boyfriend, lawyer Cy Richards, to sue the store for 10 million dollars. When Cy (Ted Simonett) does eventually show up at the store to meet with Jennifer, it turns out that he’s actually Mrs. Rosenbloom’s son, Sheldon. He changed his name when he opened his law office. Cy is happy to have found his mother but he’s even happier to sue the store.

But then, largely because there’s only two minutes left in the show’s running time, Jennifer decides not to sue the store because Federson comes by the store to meet with her and he decides to give her the raise. Federson is played by Clark Johnson, who would go on to appear on shows like Homicide and The Wire. Howard takes one look at Federson and exclaims, “You’re black!”

“It runs in the family,” Federson replies.

(Yes, it’s just as cringey as it sounds.)

Jennifer may have dropped the lawsuit but Howard is still going to court because now Mrs. Rosenbloom is suing because of the chip display that fell on her.

There was a bit too much going on in this episode and so much of it could have been avoided by Howard and Edna not being idiots. I mean, how does a secretary keep her job if she doesn’t know enough to clean up her boss’s language before quoting it back to someone at the corporate office? How does Howard not know better than to have someone else apologize for him? How can he promise someone a raise that he apparently doesn’t have the power to deliver? In short, how does Howard still have a job? On The Office, they went to pains to establish that Michael was good at selling things as a way to explain why he was still in charge of the branch. On Check It Out, Howard is so thoroughly incompetent that it’s difficult to believe that the store hasn’t burned down yet. And, of course, there’s the fact that Howard, having worked for the company for 20 years, is stunned to discover that a black man has a position of corporate authority. I mean, that really doesn’t say anything good about Howard or the company.

Shows like Check It Out make me happy that I’ve never had a real job.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.6 “Seven Days Make A Week”

Posted on November 11, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Howard once again proves himself to be worst boyfriend ever.

Episode 1.6 “Seven Days Make A Week”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on November 6th, 1985)

So far, the first season of Check It Out! has been dominated by stories dealing with the romantic relationship between Howard and Edna. I’ve never really bought their relationship. Some of it is because Howard and Edna have supposedly been together for six years but they still often come across as just being work acquaintances. They seem more like friends than lovers, which makes all of the jokes about their sexual difficulties somewhat jarring. Just how devoted Howard and Edna are to each other seems to change from episode to episode. Unfortunately, Don Adams and Dinah Christie didn’t really have enough chemistry to help the audiences accept them as being a couple.

This episode, for example, finds Howard flirting with a health food representative named Michelle (Laura Dickson). Michelle has set up a table in the store and, because she’s wearing a cleavage-baring leotard, she soon has the attention of every guy in the store. Edna is concerned because she is planning on visiting her sister in Florida for a week and she doesn’t want to leave Howard alone with Michelle.

Fortunately, cashier Leslie (Aaron Schwartz) tells Edna that the last time that he and his boyfriend went on vacation together, Michelle was a guest at the resort and she was accompanied by her girlfriend. Edna says that women who are friends often go on vacation together. Leslie explains to Edna that Michelle and her girlfriend were more than just friends. Edna is overjoyed! Not only will she be on vacation but, while she’s gone, Howard will be humiliated when he tries to date a lesbian!

Seriously, this is does not sound like a healthy relationship. Edna is putting off her vacation because she’s convinced that Howard (who is also her boss, which brings up a whole other set of ethical questions) is going to cheat on her as soon as she leaves. But then she decides that she can go on vacation, not because she has any faith in Howard staying loyal to her but because she’s convinced that he’ll feel foolish once he does try to cheat on her. It never seems to occur to Edna that Michelle could have been bisexual or that Leslie might just have his information wrong.

Because …. guess what?

Leslie does have his information wrong! As soon as Edna leaves, Michelle tells Leslie that she and her girlfriend only pretended to be lovers so that all of the men at the resort would leave them alone. Leslie panics, especially when Michelle asks Howard if he wants to come by her apartment and have dinner. Howard agrees but — fear not! — Howard later tells Edna that he decided not to cheat on her because Michelle was boring.

(Myself, I’m trying to understand the idea of uptight, middle-aged Howard as being someone that anyone would fight over.)

Eh. Edna is so happy that Howard ultimately deciding not to cheat on her that she kind of overlooks the fact that he was planning on doing so in the first place. This episode required the audience to care about Howard and Edna’s relationship but since the relationship doesn’t really make sense, neither does the episode.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.5 “Everyone’s A Winner”

Posted on November 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Bingo turns dangerous!

Episode 1.5 “Everyone’s A Winner”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 30th, 1985)

Jack Christian, the assistant manager of Cobb’s, has been assigned to oversee the store’s bingo promotion! He has handed out over 3,000 bingo cards to all of Cobb’s customers. Each day, a new number is drawn. The first person to get a bingo will win a free trip to …. GREECE!

Really, Greece? That seems kind of random, especially for a grocery store contest. It seems like it would be easier to just give the winner a discount or even a basket of free groceries. But no, the contest is for a free trip to Greece and everyone in Toronto is excited about it. However, when Murray the Stockboy takes a look at the bingo cards, he notices what everyone else has missed. All of the cards are identical. Apparently, in order to save some money, Christian gave the printing job not to the usual company that Cobb’s uses but instead to his cousin Lenny. And now, once the number 35 is called, 3,000 people will be demanding a free trip to Greece.

Well, that could be a problem.

Another problem is that, when two blind men shop in the store at the same time, the leashes of their service animals get tangled. Security guard Alf untangles the leashes but he gives the wrong dog to each man. The men don’t notice because they’re blind. That said, one of the dogs is considerably larger than the other and that really does seem like something that one should be able to sense, even without eyesight. The dogs lead each man to the wrong home. One man is injured when he falls in a pool. The other man has sex with first man’s wife three times. Now, both men want to sue Cobb’s! Howard’s genius solution is to give both men a shopping cart and telling them to fill it up for free. However, the two men’s dogs end up running through the store, knocking over the bingo machine, and causing the bingo balls to scatter all over the place.

Yay! For some reason, that means the bingo promotion is canceled and everyone totally accepts it because Canadians are nice people. Seriously, if they tried that in the States, the store would have burned to the ground….

Actually, one of the more interesting things about Check It Out! is that the show never specifically says that it’s taking place in Canada, even though it obviously is. Almost every member of the cast has a Canadian accent. All of the measurements make use of the metric system. And yet the show itself will often toss in random references to places and people in the U.S. For instance, Edna has a sister who lives in Florida. In this episode, Howard makes a reference to Ronald Reagan’s economic policies. One gets the feeling that the show’s producers hoped to fool Americans watching in syndication into thinking that this very Canadian show was actually taking place in the U.S. It reminds me a bit of how Italian actors and directors would often be credited with stereotypically “American” name in order to hide the fact that a film was an Italian production.

As for this week’s episode, Jeff Pustil’s portrayal of Christian’s growing desperation was amusing. Most of the episode’s jokes, however, fell flat. I’ve noticed that this show repeatedly uses the same joke structure. Someone will say something outrageous and then Howard will repeat it in a slightly shrill tone. It gets old after the 10tth times it happens. Admittedly, hhere was some potential to the story. (Check out The Office’s “Golden Ticket” episode for an example of this type of story done effectively.) But having everything resolved via a random case of Dues Ex Machina just felt like laziness on the part of the writers.

I guess the lesson here is that you’ll have to pay your own way to Greece.

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

Posted on October 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s physical time!

Episode 1.4 “X-Ray Marks The Spot”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on October 23rd, 1985)

Oh, the drama never ends in Canada!

Cobb’s has just switched over to a new insurance plan and all of the employees are going to have to get physicals to make sure that they qualify. That means that everyone has to come in on Monday, regardless of whether it’s their day off or not. (Since the store only seems to have 3 cashiers and one stockboy, I’m not sure they can afford to give anyone a day off.) The physicals will be done right in the store parking lot which …. wait, what? That’s a bit intrusive.

(Actually, I assume they have some sort of mobile doctor’s office but that’s never really made clear in the dialogue, which led me to imagine all of the characters getting poked and prodded in the middle of the parking lot.)

That’s not the only problem! Murray the stock boy put a lot of cans in the storeroom and, after a torrential downfall, he discovered that he put all the cans underneath a hole in the roof. The cans got wet and their labels peeled off. Christian suggests just donating the cans to charity and taking a tax write-off but Howard points out that some of the cans were dog food. “Okay,” Christian says, “give it to poor people with pets!”

(Actually, that’s not a bad idea….)

Howard, himself, is upset because he nearly got run over by a kid driving a car. He tells Edna that he hates kid. Howard picks the worst time to tell Edna this because, before coming to work, she took a pregnancy test and guess who is expecting?

Edna tries to keep the news from Howard until he’s in a better mood but then she discovers that she’ll have to get an x-ray at the physical and, when she tells Howard why she can’t do that, Howard is not particularly enthused about the prospect of being a father. Edna gets upset and leaves Canada for Florida!

How will all of this get resolved?

Well, the mystery of the cans is solved when Murray gets them ex-rayed. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea to sell people food that was just zapped with radiation but whatever.

Edna leaving is temporarily resolved when Marlene, who is the best character on the show, become Howard’s new secretary. Marlene turns out to be so bad at her job that I was cringing at my own memories of my first day as an administrative assistant. Fortunately, Edna returns and takes her old job back.

She also tearfully tells Howard that the test was incorrect and she’s not pregnant. Edna sits down at her desk, opens the desk drawer, and discovers the stuffed Panda bear that Howard bought while she was gone. “Awwwwwww!” the studio audience said. And, I’ll be honest, I said it too.

The first half of this episode really didn’t work for me, largely because both Don Adams and Dinah Christie (in the roles of Howard and Edna, respectively) had a tendency to go BIG in their performances and that pretty much made it impossible for me to really get emotionally involved with their story. It was a bit too obvious that they weren’t lovers but that they were instead just two actors reciting their lines. The second half of the episode was a marked improvement, when both Adams and Christie dialing back their performances and actually talking like real human beings. Shaky start aside, the episode did kind of earn that “awwww” from the audience.

Next week, a contest goes wrong!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

Posted on October 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Howard has a chance to get the heck out of Canada!

Episode 1.3 “No Cause For Alarm”

(Dir by Gary Plaxton, originally aired on October 16th, 1985)

The workers at Cobb’s Grocery are reluctantly preparing for another theme week at the store. It’s a Switzerland theme week, which I assume will be very popular in Canada. All of the cashiers are dressed like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Assistant manager Jack Christian is wearing lederhosen. Christian is really excited because he’s managed to borrow an expensive cuckoo clock with which to decorate the store.

Store manager Howard Bannister has a bit more on his mind, though. He has an interview coming up with an international hotel chain and, if he aces the interview, he’ll get to manage a hotel in Venice. As Howard puts it, this has been his dream for about 15 years. Unfortunately, it’s going to be difficult for Howard to ace that interview because the store’s alarm system keeps malfunctioning and the police finally tell Howard to just turn off the alarm so that they’re not bothered anymore. However, that expensive and borrowed cuckoo clock is still hanging on the wall so Howard ends up having to sleep at the store. Needless to say, the exhausted Howard falls asleep in the middle of his interview and doesn’t get the job. As Christian resigns himself to still being the store’s assistant manager, Howard accepts that he’s not going anywhere for a while.

This is an odd episode of Check It Out. For one thing, there’s a totally different stockboy (played by Jason Warren) from the kid who appeared in the previous two episodes. He’s a bit older than the usual stockboy, he wears rather thick glasses, and everyone acts as if he’s always been at the store. Meanwhile, the store’s electrician (played by Gordon Clapp) is referred to as being “Mr. Matthews” even though his name was Viker in his previous (and future) appearances.

Perhaps the oddest thing about the episode is that everyone is given very backstory-dependent dialogue. For instance, Edna has a long conversation with cashier Jennifer (Tonya Williams) in which she explains the history of her relationship with Howard. Whenever Christian enters a room, everyone is quick to mention that he’s the assistant manager, as if this is information that has never been mentioned before. The relationships between the characters also feel a bit off. For instance, there hasn’t been any hints of deep friendship between Edna and Jennifer in the previous two episodes.

My guess is that this episode was originally the pilot for Check It Out. Apparently, it worked well enough to sell the show but the show’s producers decided not to use it as the first episode. Instead, it aired as the third episode, despite the fact that the episode was essentially a rough draft of what the show would become.

As for the episode …. eh, it’s okay. Gordon Clapp was funny as the confident but incompetent electrician. Jeff Pustil had a few funny moments as Christian. Don Adams overacted a bit as Howard, as if the show still wasn’t sure how obnoxious or sympathetic the character should be. My main issue with the episode was the idea of Howard going from managing a grocery store in Canada to managing an international hotel in Venice. I mean, can Howard even speak Italian?

Next week, everyone at the store is required to get a physical!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.2 “Labor and Other Relations”

Posted on October 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Canada goes on strike!

Episode 1.2 “Labor And Other Relations”

(Dir by Stan Harris, originally aired on October 9th, 1985)

I am two episodes into Check It Out and my favorite character is Marlene, the cashier played by Kathleen Laskey. She’s my favorite specifically because she has the same attitude that I would have if I was working as a cashier. She doesn’t care about the customers, she doesn’t worry about showing up for work on time, and she takes her first break ten minutes after the store opens. Plus, out of everyone who works at the store, she has the best fashion sense.

This episode also established that Marlene is the “shop steward” of the Cobb’s union. No one has ever joined the union, other than Marlene. But that changes when mean old Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton) announces that employees of Cobb’s will, from now on, only be allowed to take two coffee breaks a day. Marlene declares this to be an outrage and invites everyone — except for manager Howard (Don Adams) and assistant manager Christian (Jeff Pustil) — to a union meeting at her apartment. Soon, every employee of the store is outside, picketing. Meanwhile, Howard and Christian are forced to bag groceries and deal with customers.

Frustrated by the fact that everyone has joined the union, Howard goes outside to confront the picketers. Murray (Simon Reynolds), the young bagger who has a crush on Marlene, asks Howard to hold his sign so that he can run into the store and use the bathroom. (Wouldn’t that count as crossing the picket line? I’ve never been a member of a union so I’m not really sure how all of this works.) Howard agrees to hold Murray’s “Cobbs Is Unfair” sign. Of course, a local reporter snaps a picture of Howard and soon, he’s on the front page of the newspaper.

Howard is just not having a good week. First off, we learn, in a scene that goes on for way too long, that he’s still struggling with impotence and hasn’t had sex with Edna (Dinah Christie) for weeks. (Edna is also Howard’s secretary and a member of the union so really, it seems like there’s all sorts of issues here.) And now, he’s on the front page of the newspaper, picketing his own store. Ms. Cobb shows up to fire him, saying that she was also responsible for “firing the Shah of Iran” back in 1979. (What?)

Fortunately, the other employees of Cobb’s come to the rescue by barging into Howard’s office and announcing that they’ve voted him into the Union and therefore, Ms. Cobb can’t fire him for picketing. Howard gets to keep his job, even though I was under the impression that members of management are not allowed to join a union. Howard agrees to give everyone back their coffee breaks, even though that was a corporate policy and it was established early on that Howard didn’t have the power to change it.

This was a weird episode. I’m going to guess that it was not at all a realistic depiction of a labor dispute. There was way too much time devoted to Howard and Edna discussing their lack of a sex life. That said, Marlene’s attitude saved the episode. Even though she didn’t care about her job, she still brought the company to its knees. Woo hoo, you go, Marlene!

Late Night Retro Television Reviews: Check It Out 1.1 “No Security In Security”

Posted on October 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Check It Out is a show that I recently came across on Tubi. It’s a Canadian sitcom from the late 80s, one that took place in grocery store. Don Adams starred as Howard Bannister, the store’s manager. Dinah Christie played Edna, who was Howard’s girlfriend and secretary. Kathleen Laskey, Aaron Schwartz, and Tonya Williams played cashiers. Jeff Pustil played the assistant manager. The security guard was played by Henry Beckman and Simon Reynolds played a teenage bagboy. Since I had never heard of this show before, I figured why not review it? What’s the worst that could happen?

Besides, check out the totally funky theme song!

Episode 1.1 “No Security In Security”

(Dir by Ari Dikijian, originally aired on October 2nd, 1985)

Welcome to Cobb’s, perhaps the most depressing location that I’ve ever seen for a Canadian sitcom. Cobb’s is a grocery store and, interestingly enough, it actually looks like a grocery store, with cheap displays, bored employees, and floors that you can tell are probably sticky. Usually, most sitcoms — especially sitcoms that aired in the 80s — go out of their way to try to look inviting. From the minute we see Cobb’s, the show seems to be telling us, “Run away! Shop elsewhere!”

As the pilot opens, store manager Howard Bannister (Don Adams) watches as a security specialist named Vicker (Gordon Clapp) installs several new security cameras. Howard asks what channels the cameras get. Vicker replies that you can watch produce, you can watch the front doors, and you can watch the registers. Howard weakly tries to explain that he was making a joke. It goes over Vicker’s head.

You know what isn’t a joke? The fact that Mrs. Cobb (Barbara Hamilton), the fearsome owner of the store, now expects Howard to fire Alf (Henry Beckham), the ancient security guard who has been working at Cobb’s for his entire life. Howard is reluctant to fire an old man, despite the fact that everyone keeps talking about the fact that Alf is not that good at his job. The assistant manager, Jack Christian (Jeff Pustil), volunteers to do the firing but Howard says that it’s the type of the thing that should be done by the manager. After getting an angry visit from Mrs. Cobb, Howard takes Alf outside and fires him. Alf responds by punching Howard in the stomach.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing that they fired Alf! Seriously, violence is never the answer! Still, Howard feels so guilty that he can’t perform sexually with his girlfriend and secretary, Edna Moseley (Dinah Christie). But, don’t worry! Alf calls in a bomb threat and gets his job back….

Seriously, that’s the plot of the first episode. It’s a plot that had some potential. One of The Office‘s best episodes was the Halloween episode where Michael was forced to fire Devin. On The Office, the story was more about Michael’s fear of being the bad guy than the actual firing. Michael knows that he has to fire someone but he’s just scared to death of getting anyone mad at him. Things are a bit less complicated on Check it Out. Alf is terrible at his job but Howard doesn’t want to fire him because he’s old. Fortunately, all it takes is a fake bomb threat to get Alf’s job back.

It was a bit of a forgettable episode, though it introduced the characters and that’s what a pilot is supposed to do. The main problem is that, with the exception of Gordon Clapp’s performance as Vicker, the episode itself just wasn’t that funny.

Maybe the second episode was an improvement! We’ll find out next week!

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.6 “The Red Baron/Young At Heart”

Posted on July 18, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, Tattoo gets bullied and Mr. Roarke gets psychedelic!

Episode 3.6 “The Red Baron/Young At Heart”

(Dir by Earl Bellamy, originally aired on October 27th, 1979)

This week, Tattoo greets Mr. Roarke while disguised as Frankenstein’s Monster.

Tattoo explains to Mr. Roarke that he’s trying to look scary because there’s a bully that’s picking on him “because of my size.” OH MY GOD, POOR TATTOO! Seriously, my heart broke for him when he explained the reason behind his disguise. As usual, Mr. Roarke was far less sympathetic and ordered Tattoo to put on his usual white tux so that they could greet their guests.

This week’s fantasies ….. well, let’s just get straight to the point. Neither one is particularly memorable. In the first one, Cornelius Wiselfarber (Don Adams) is an expert on World War I whose fantasy is to experience the real thing. From the start, this storyline has two huge flaws. Number one, it makes the mistake of assuming that a character is automatically funny just because he has a silly name. Secondly, what expert on World War I would seriously want to experience it firsthand? There’s a reason why World War I was called the Great War. It was one of the most destructive and wasteful conflicts ever fought, one that will be forever identified with the horrors of trench warfare and mustard gas. Thousands died, many more were wounded both physically and psychologically. Even those who survived with their bodies and their minds intact still ran the risk of catching the Spanish Flu. This is one of those fantasies that just doesn’t make any sense.

That said, Cornelius gets his chance to experience what it was like to be a World War I flying ace. He even meets the Red Baron (Ron Ely)! The majority of the fantasy is played for laughs, with Mr. Roarke continually mispronouncing Cornelius’s last name and Cornelius himself getting recruited, by the Resistance, to pretend to be a German officer behind enemy lines. It falls flat, mostly because Don Adams himself doesn’t seem to know whether he wants to play his character straight or as a variation of his bumbling secret agent, Maxwell Smart. By the end of the fantasy, Cornelius says that he now understands how terrible World War I truly was but, seeing as how he didn’t see much combat and spent most of his fantasy trading one liners with Monique of the Resistance (Martine Beswick), you have to wonder how that could be.

As for the second fantasy, Helen Phillips (Diana Canova) is a 40-something nurse who wants to be young again. Mr. Roarke gives her a magic potion to drink. Drinking the potion leads to Helen having a psychedelic vision of Mr. Roarke explaining that that the potion wears off after 12 hours so she’ll have to keep drinking it if she’s going to remain young.

No longer having to wear glasses and without a touch of gray in her hair, Helen meets and falls for a handsome young named David Hanks (David Ladd) but she worries about what will happen when she runs out of the potion and he discovers that she’s old enough to be his mother. Fear not! It turns out that David has been drinking the potion as well! He’s actually in his 50s and his fantasy was to be reunited with the nurse who looked after him when he injured himself as a young man! To be honest, the twist felt a little bit too convenient and the old-age makeup worn by both Canova and Ladd was not particularly convincing. There was also an oddly played scene in which Helen’s ex-fiancé (played by Dave Madden) came to the Island searching for her but then promptly left when he discovered that Helen and David were in love. On the plus side, I did like the psychedelic Mr. Roarke scene.

As for Tattoo, he resorts to disguising himself as a vampire in his attempt to scare off his bully.

Later, when it is time to bid farewell to this week’s guests, Tattoo shows up wearing dark glasses because his bully gave him a black eye. Mr. Roarke finally shows some concern about the fact that someone is harassing his assistant manager. However, when Tattoo reveals that his bully is a chimpanzee wearing boxing gloves, Mr. Roarke laughs and laughs.

Seriously, Mr. Roarke really hates his second-in-command.