Retro Television Review: Malibu CA 2.15 “Goin’ Up In Smoke”

Posted on June 19, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. Almost the entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Yes, this is from the first season. I don’t care. I refuse to waste my time looking for a second season advertisement.

This week, Jason’s smoking! And Dick Butkus shows up.

Episode 2.15 “Goin’ Up In Smoke”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on February 12th, 2000)

Okay, can we just agree that Lisa is the absolute worst?

No, not me! I’m talking about the show’s Lisa, the premed student played by Marquita Terry. In this episode, she somehow gets a job writing theater reviews for the local newspaper. When Traycee puts on her own version of Romeo and Juliet (an “urban” version that she calls Rom-e-yo and Juliet), Lisa has to review it. Lisa doesn’t like the play so she writes a negative review in which she says that Traycee is a terrible actress. Traycee reads the review and gets offended. Lisa says that she didn’t have a choice. She had to be honest.

Actually, Lisa did have a choice and it wouldn’t have been involved any sort of dishonesty. Lisa could have simply said, “I can’t review this show because I have a conflict of interest.” The show was adapted, directed, and produced by Lisa’s roommate! That’s all Lisa had to say to get out of writing the review. The newspaper could have sent someone else to write the review and Lisa would have been off the hook. Instead, Lisa went to the show, trashed her roommate in the newspaper, and then acted like somehow she was the one being inconvenienced.

Seriously, Lisa is the worst and it doesn’t help that Marquita Terry’s performance on this show was so incredibly bad that she made the cast of One World look Emmy-worthy. Seriously, you have to be really bad to make Cray from One World look good by comparison.

That was the B-plot. The A-plot found Dick Butkus returning as Uncle Charlie, just in time for Jason to start smoking …. just like his favorite uncle! Peter freaks out. His son is smoking! Hey, Peter …. your son is 19 years old and legally an adult. If he wants to smoke, he can smoke. He’s a musician in Malibu so you should really be thankful that smoking cigarettes is all he’s doing.

Uncle Charlie is a smoker too. He and Jason try to quit together but, after one hour without a cigarette, they’re both ready to kill someone. Uhmmm …. okay. I don’t smoke but I know plenty of smokers and most of them can last for more than an hour without a cigarette. Anyway, Uncle Charlie gets lung cancer because this is a Peter Engel sitcom and, therefore, every point has to be made with the subtlety of a sledgehammer.

This episode felt familiar, mostly because every single Peter Engel sitcom had at least one insane anti-smoking episode. Having Dick Butkus show up just reminded me of how much better Hang Time handled smoking. This episode annoyed me beyond all belief.

Thank God it’s the final season.

Retro Television Review: Malibu, CA 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

Posted on January 16, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Malibu CA, which aired in Syndication in 1998 and 1999. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

This week, a special guest star is forced to appear on the show.

Episode 1.24 “Uncle Charlie”

(Dir by Gary Shimokawa, originally aired on May 9th, 1999)

Jason and Scott are totally excited because their Uncle Charlie is coming to visit. As they explain to Murray, Uncle Charlie has been in the Marines for 30 years and is a total badass. Murray says that he tried to join the Marines but was classified as being “FW.” “Freaking weirdo,” Murray says. Peter then says that he doesn’t like it when Charlie comes to visit because Charlie always make fun of him for being too thin. Really when this show started and Peter was supposed to be like a seriously cool surfer dude?

Anyway, Charlie shows up and he’s played by Dick Butkus. After finishing up both Hang Time and Half-Nelson, I thought I was done with reviewing anything to do with Dick Butkus but nope, here he is in yet another Peter Engel-produced show! I imagine that Butkus did this show as a favor to Peter Engel or maybe Butkus was just under a contract that he couldn’t get out of. Still, it’s hard not to notice that Butkus does not appear to be particularly enthusiastic about appearing on Malibu CA. While it’s true that Butkus always came across as being more of an ex-athlete than an actor (because, of course, that’s exactly what he was), Butkus still at least made an effort on Hang Time. In Malibu, CA, Butkus seems to be struggling to stay awake.

Uncle Charlie is upset because the Marines want him to consider retirement. Charlie works out his frustration by having Jason and Scott do calisthenics. (He’s not their favorite uncle anymore!) But then Charlie starts hanging out with Murray and Murray encourages Charlie to be a beach bum. That sounds good to Charlie and I have to admit that I think Dick Butkus hanging out on the beach in a Hawaiian shirt with Murray actually had a lot of potential. I’m as surprised as anyone that Murray has turned out to be this show’s saving grace but he has. I guess we should be glad the Marines didn’t take him.

Charlie’s new beach-centric philosophy becomes a problem when Charlie finds himself being considered for a job at a military school. The school doesn’t want beach bums! Can Jason and Scott straighten Charlie out? Will Jason ever manage to get through a scene without looking straight at the camera for his cue? Who cares?

As for the B-plot, Traycee has tickets to the Beastie Boys. She invites Stads and Sam to come to the concert with her. Awwww, how nice! “You’ve only got two tickets!” Stads snaps because, for some reason, the show has decided that Stads should always be in a bitchy mood. (Remember when the show started and Stads was vaguely likable?) Sam and Stads compete for the title of Traycee’s best friend. Years later, Paris Hilton had a reality competition show based around the same concept.

This episode was dull. When not even Dick Butkus can make your actors look good by comparison, you’ve got a problem.

Retro Television Reviews: Fantasy Island 3.21 “Jungle Man/Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate”

Posted on October 31, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing the original Fantasy Island, which ran on ABC from 1977 to 1986. Almost entire show is currently streaming is on Youtube!

This week, Fantasy Island is invaded by jungle men and ventriloquists!

Episode 3.21 “Jungle Man/Mary Ann and Miss Sophisticate”

(Dir by Michael Vejar, originally aired on March 8th, 1980)

For years, David Farley (Dennis Cole) starred as Jungle Man on television. When the show was canceled, David made a living by doing public appearances as Jungle Man but then the producers of the show filed a lawsuit. As a result, David is no longer allowed to ever dress up in a loin cloth. David comes to Fantasy Island, hoping for one last chance to be Jungle Man.

(This fantasy, by the way, had its roots in what happened to the original Lone Ranger, Clayton Moore. Moore was told that he could no longer wear the mask in public because a new Lone Ranger movie was coming out. The producers also took Moore to court. Moore reacts by ditching the mask and wearing wrap-around sunglasses instead.)

Mr. Roarke explains to David that his fantasy will make Jungle Man a reality. There will be no stunt doubles and the bad guys might not be as easy to defeat as on television. David says he doesn’t care. He finds himself again in the jungle, transformed into Jungle Man! He also discovers that all of his friends are upset with him because they haven’t seen him for two years. They think that Jungle Man just abandoned them and, of course, Jungle Man can’t explain that the show was canceled.

In Jungle Man’s absence, Queen Mara (France Nuyen) has agreed to surrender the jungle to the evil hunter, Derrick Haskell (Dick Butkus, who between Half-Nelson, Hang Time, and this show, is becoming a bit of a regular on this site). Can Jungle Man prevent Mara from signing over her land? And can he save Rima (Barbara Luna), the woman he loves? And, even more importantly, can he convince Roarke to to let him live forever in the jungle?

Of course, he can. This was a bit of silly fantasy but it still worked because of how earnest Dennis Cole was in the role of Jungle Man. Plus, I enjoyed that life in the jungle had continued even after the Jungle Man television show was canceled. It captured the way that a lot of us feel when our favorite TV show is cancelled and we wonder what happened to all the characters after the finale.

The other fantasy was …. well, it was weird and creepy and surprisingly dark. Annette Funicello played Mary Ann Carlin (Annette Funicello), a world famous ventriloquist. Mary Ann is worried that she can no longer tell where her personality ends and where the personality of her dummy, Valerie, begins. Is there anything creepier than a ventriloquist with a personality conflict?

Mary Ann’s fantasy is to separate her personality from Valerie’s for a weekend so that she can decide what to do with her career. (This sounds like something that would be better handled by a therapist than a resort owner but whatever.) Mr. Roarke’s solution is to turn Valerie into a living human being. Unfortunately, it turns out that Valerie has a man streak and she not only seduces Mary Ann’s boyfriend (Don Galloway) but she also gives a surreal performance in which, somehow, Mary Ann is transformed into the dummy.

Fortunately for Mary Ann. everything works out. She finally snaps out of whatever spell she was under and she tossed Valerie, who is now suddenly a doll once again, in a fire. Mary Ann and her boyfriend leave the Island, planning on getting married and settling down. Apparently, Mary Ann doesn’t have a problem with the fact that her boyfriend had sex with a ventriloquist’s dummy but I still imagine that it’s something she’ll bring up whenever they have a disagreement about something. “You think I’m spending too much money!? Remember that time you screwed a block of wood?”

It really doesn’t make much sense at all but it’s so surreal and weird that it’s fun to watch. This fantasy was the Island at its most nightmarish and certainly, that makes it an appropriate fantasy to close out October with!

Rest in Peace, Dick Butkus

Posted on October 6, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

The Shattered Lens extends its condolences to the friends, family, and fans of football player-turned-actor Dick Butkus. Butkus starred in two shows that we recently featured on retro television reviews, Hang Time and Half Nelson. Whether he was coaching basketball in Indiana or helping Joe Pesci solve a case in Beverly Hills, he definitely had his own unique style and likably gruff screen presence. RIP.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.11 “High School Confidential” and 6.12 “Graduation on Three”

Posted on September 4, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Mondays, I will be reviewing Hang Time, which ran on NBC from 1995 to 2000. The entire show is currently streaming on YouTube!

Today, we finally say goodbye to Hang Time!

Episode 6.11 “High School Confidential”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 9th, 2000)

With graduation day approaching, the seniors class of Deering High is interviewed by Mary Beth and Kristy. That’s right, it’s time for a clip show! Interestingly, all of the clips come from seasons 5 and 6. You would think that, after going to high school for 6 years, Julie and Mary Beth would have more memories. No one even mentions Coach Fuller or any of the other basketball players that Julie went out with before meeting Michael. Even for a clip show, this was a let down.

Episode 6.12 “Graduation on Three”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 16th, 2000)

It’s graduation time! Because she’s the greatest player who has ever lived, the school officially retires Julie Connor’s number. No one else will ever wear Number 34. Hopefully, no one else will ever spend six years in high school as well. Actually, if I remember correctly, Julie transferred to Deering from another school so it’s totally possible that it took Julie seven years to graduate high school.

Considering how long it took the rest of the characters to graduate high school, it’s not surprising that Kristy is the school’s valedictorian. Kristy is especially concerned about giving a perfect graduation speech because she’s worried that she’ll never see her friends again after graduation. I could relate to what Kristy was feeling because, when I graduated from high school, I also feared that I would never see my friends again. Luckily, society now has Facebook so we can check in on all of our old friends from high school and discover that they’ve all become political cranks.

Kristy does eventually find the courage to give her valedictorian speech. For some reason, Mary Beth hosts the graduation ceremony. (Did Deering High not have a principal?) After Coach K gets an award, Kristy gives her speech and breaks down into tears. It was kind of sad but also pretty sweet. Again, I could relate to how Kristy was feeling.

All that’s left is for everyone to throw their graduation caps into the air and then share one final group hug in the gym. Awwww!

And that’s it for Hang Time!

Well, what is left to say about this show, one that I’ve spent a year reviewing? Hang Time was a messy show, largely because the cast was constantly changing and everyone stayed in high school for way too long. That said, the good episodes tended to be very good and the bad episodes were, for the most part, inoffensive. The show probably should have ended when Reggie Theus left but Dick Butkus was a more than adequate replacement and, indeed, Coach K. was arguably the show’s best character during the final two seasons. Even if the final seasons were a bit weak, Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto were a good comedic team. The final episode ended with Kristy saying, “I’m going to miss this place,” and you know what? So am I.

Next week: Retro Television Reviews leaves Indiana for ….. MIAMI! Are you ready for a little Vice?

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.9 “For Love Of The Game” and 6.10 “A Night To Remember”

Posted on August 28, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, it’s time for the team’s final game ever!

Episode 6.9 “For Love Of the Game”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 18th, 2000)

Hey, we’re back at the University of Indiana, where the Tornadoes are still playing in that tournament. How long do these tournaments last? Every season Hang Time had a tournament story arc that went on forever. Do the Torandoes even go to class at this point?

Speaking of going to class, Julie is worried because she still hasn’t been offered a scholarship from the University of Connecticut. For some reason, Julie, Kristy, and Mary Beth insist on referring to the school as being “UConn.” “UConn do it!” Kristy says at one point. I don’t know. Maybe the University of Connecticut is actually known as UConn. I don’t really pay much attention to those little mid-Atlantic states. Does anyone?

Anyway, for some reason, Kristy and Mary Beth decide it would be a good idea to pretend to be recruiters so that they can tell the UConn recruiter that they’re really interested in Julie. They talk to a woman in a UConn jacket and the woman says that her college is not interested in Julie. Kristy and Mary Beth get upset and walk away. What they don’t realize was that the woman was only borrowing the jacket and UConn is totally planning on offering Julie a full scholarship!

For some reason (there’s that term again), Mary Beth decides to call the UConn recruiter and tell her off but, instead of doing it under her name, she calls and claims to be Julie. (Who does this?) Later, Mary Beth and Kristy run into the real UConn recruiter and discover that he’s going to offer Julie a scholarship. So now, Mary Beth and Kristy have to sneak into the man’s hotel room and delete their message before he hears it!

*Sigh*

I’ve mentioned many times before that I can’t stand stories that are dependent on everyone acting like an idiot. And this is one of those stories. I mean, Mary Beth and Kristy pretending to be recruiters is kind of funny but Mary Beth pretending to be Julie and telling off a recruiter is just stupid. Fortunately, though, Julie still gets her scholarship.

While this is going on, the team is freaking out about their next game because they’re currently undefeated and each player is afraid of being the person who screws up the season. Coach K yells at them until they remember that the game should be fun and, after trailing the entire game, the Tornadoes win by one basket. Again.

“That was our last play as a team,” Michael says. Awwwwwww!

This was a silly episode that got on my nerves. Let’s move on.

Episode 6.10 “A Night To Remember”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on December 2nd, 2000)

It’s prom time!

Unfortunately, the school made the mistake of naming Julie, Kristy, and Mary Beth as the heads of the prom committee. Everyone predicts that the three of them will end up fighting, just as they do whenever they try to work together. And that’s exactly what happens. Not only does Kristy lose all the money for the prom but Kristy, Julie, and Mary Beth all show up wearing the same gray dress. Mary Beth claims that she bought the dress first, Kristy claims that she picked her dress out 6 months ago. Mary Beth replies, “It looks the worst on Julie so she should go change!” That made me laugh. This show is always at its best when it allows Mary Beth to just be a force of chaos.

Meanwhile, Silk, Eugene, and Mary Beth have all ended up with terrible dates. Mary Beth accidentally said yes to Merle, who smells like vapor rub. (She was on the phone when he asked and she automatically said yes without hearing his question.) As a favor to Mary Beth, Silk tries to find another girl to go to the prom with Merle but she thinks Silk is asking. Eugene auction himself off for charity and is purchased by a retiree (played by none other than Mrs. Voorhees herself, Betsy Palmer).

Fortunately, the night is saved when a tornado hits Deering. While everyone huddles in the hallway, Kristy, Mary Beth, and Julie do an impromptu performance of I Will Survive. Yay! Seriously, it was a fun scene. Plus, my sisters and I used to sing I Will Survive when we did karaoke.

Overall, this was a cute episode. I enjoyed it and I sang along.

Next week: Hang Time ends as the Tornadoes finally graduate!

Retro Television Review: Hang Time 6.7 “Life 101” and 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”

Posted on August 21, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Hammer returns!

Episode 6.7 “Life 101”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 4th, 2000)

Hammer returns during this episode but, before we discuss that, let’s get the dumb B-plot out of the way. Coach K, is going out of town so he assigns Antonio to look after his dog, a chihuahua named Killer. (What was the deal with both of the coaches always asking their dumb players to look after their pets, cars, and houses?) Antonio and the boys lose Killer at the mall. However, they then see a little girl named Susie adopting a chihuahua on television. Assuming that the girl has adopted Killer, they bribe the girl with toys to get the dog. When they give the dog to the Coach, he immeidately sees that it’s not Killer because it’s a girl and not a boy.

Uh-oh!

No worries, though. It turns out that the woman who found Killer saw a flyer that the boys put up and she shows up at the gym with Killer. She asks Coach K out on a date. “Woooooo!” the audience shouts. As I wrote earliier, it was all pretty dumb but at least the dog was cute.

Meanwhile, Hammer (Mark Famiglietti) returns to Indiana from North Carolina! Mary Beth is so excited! Hammer explains that he’s not sure he wants to attend Duke. (I thought Hammer was attending Duke but apparently, he was just in some sort of Duke-affiliated prep school or something.) Hammer says that Duke might not have a spot for him on the team so he decides to apply to UCLA with Mary Beth and Kristy.

Mary Beth and Kristy get into UCLA! Yay!

Hammer does not. Boooo!

Hammer pressures Mary Beth to turn down UCLA and go to the University of Indiana with him. Hammer, what happened to you!?

Mary Beth agrees but then Hammer learns that Duke does want him to play basketball so he decides he’s going to go Duke anyway and that Mary Beth should come with him. “You want me to move to North Carolina!?” a shocked Mary Beth says. (Uhmm, it’s better than freaking Indiana.) Mary Beth and Hammer break up and Mary Beth decides to go to UCLA afterall.

I guess it’s good that Mary Beth is finally going to graduate from high school but this episode still bothered me. Bringing back Hammer was cool. Having him come back with a totally different personality from the one he had when he was previously on the show was not cool. That just felt like lazy writing.

Let’s move on.

Episode 6.8 “Secrets and Lies”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on November 11th, 2000)

It’s championship time again!

Actually, it was championship time last season. Seasons 5 and 6 were filmed at the same time and were originally intended to be a part of one big, final season. NBC decided to not only split the season in two but they also rearranged the order of the episodes, leading to all sorts of continuity confusion. The tournament that we see the Tornadoes playing at the University of Indiana was originally meant to be a part of the championship story arc that was featured in season 5. (That storyline, of course, ended with the previously undefeated Tornadoes losing in an upset and learning about humility.) Instead of airing where it was originally meant to air, this tournament episode somewhat randomly pops up in the middle of season 6.

As for this episode, it’s a mix of the serious and the seriously stupid. The seriously stupid part of the episode finds Eugene and Silk being led astray by two cheerleaders who steal their uniforms, lock them in a locker room, and try to keep them from playing in the big game. It doesn’t work, of course. Silk and Eugene end up tumbling out of an air conditioning duct and landing in the middle of the gym. The important thing is that they get to play and no one asks why they were wandering around a duct while half-naked in the first place.

As for the serious storyline, it features Mary Beth meeting Brett, a handsome guy who is writing a story for his school’s newspaper. He takes Mary Beth and the team out to a bar and, in a backroom, attempts to force himself on Mary Beth. While Mary Beth gets away from him, Brett still threatens to reveal that the team was at a bar if she dares to say anything about what he tried to do. However, when Mary Beth sees Brett talking to another girl and trying to lead her to a backroom, she realizes that she can’t be quiet. Brett gets arrested but not before Coach K threatened to rip him from limb to limb.

This was a good episode, solely due to the Mary Beth storyline, which was well-acted and had a valuable message. When Dick Butkus threatened Brett, you never had any doubt that he meant every word of it. I’ve been a bit critical of Dick Butkus in these reviews but it’s hard to imagine Reggie Theus bringing the same emotional intensity to this episode that Butkus did. One gets the feeling that Theus would have just made Mary Beth feel guilty for not speaking up immediately. Dick Butkus, on the other hand, isn’t going to let anyone get away with hurting his students.

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.5 “Have No Fear” and 6.6 “At The Movies”

Posted on August 14, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Will you always remember you and your friends at Hang Time?

Episode 6.5 “Have No Fear”

(Directed by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 21st, 2000)

Temple U. comes to Deering to offer Silk a full scholarship to attend their college and play basketball for their team. At first, Silk is excited but then he makes the mistake of playing a little basketball with the college players. It turns out that they’re a hundred times better than Silk! Silk then discovers that Temple expects its players to practice everyday, to attend every away game, and to maintain a B average. Silk decides that it’s too much to deal with and announces that he would rather go to Atlantic University.

“Atlantic sucks!” Eugene exclaims.

Anyway, Coach K eventually tells Silk that he need to take the chance and go to Temple. Personally, I think Silk had every right to be concerned because, over the past few seasons, it’s not like Silk has ever been that good of a player. For instance, he’s never the one who shoots the game-winning basket. He’s never the one who risks getting hooked on pills because the team will lose if he’s not on the court. He’s never been the one who has gotten an oversized ego after being featured in a magazine. By the standards of Hang Time, he’s a below-average player. Why does Temple want him as opposed to Michael or Julie?

All that said, Silk still decides to take a shot and go to Temple. Good for him.

Meanwhile, in the far more amusing B-plot, Julie and Kristy buy a car together but then spend all of their time arguing over who is a better driver and who gets to use the car on which night. This is another one of those plots where Mary Beth acts as an agent of chaos. She’s the one who suggests that Kristy and Julie should get the car together and, for some reason, she tags along when Kristy and Antonio and Michael and Julie go on a double-date together. At this point, I think the only reason why Mary Beth is still attending classes at Deering is so she can cause stir the drama. That’s actually kind of neat. It suggests that Mary Beth knows that she’s in a television show and that she understands that this particular episode needed some silliness to make up for all of the uninteresting stuff with Silk. Good for Mary Beth!

Episode 6.6 “At The Movies”

(Directed by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 28th, 2000)

Oh God.

This episode features Dustin Diamond playing himself.

Antonio and Kristy are both working at the movie theater as a part of their “work study program.” (Why can’t they just get a job? Why does it have to be a part of a program?) Anyway, Kristy is appointed assistant manager and decides that a sure way to make money would be to do a midnight showing of Saved By The Bell: Wedding in Vegas. And because the other members of the Saved By The Bell cast had all moved on to real careers by the time this episode was filmed, the show had to make due with Dustin Diamond showing up as the special celebrity guest. Yes, Dustin plays himself but still speaks in his annoying Screech voice.

I don’t want to talk too much about it. I pretty much zoned out as soon as Dustin arrived. I feel a little bit bad about that because Dustin Diamond did not have a particularly happy life and died far too young but, still, he was so annoying whenever he did the whole Screech thing. Add to that, you may remember that, a few seasons ago, Dustin Diamond made a cameo appearance as Screech. And before that, Mary Beth went to Space Camp with Ryan Parker, a student at Bayside. So, what’s the deal, Hang Time? How is Screech both real and fictional at the same time?

Meanwhile, Mary Beth freaked out after she had a romantic dream about Eugene. This led to Mary Beth going out on a date with Eugene to see if she actually had feelings for him. (Uhmm, Mary Beth …. remember that you have a boyfriend going to Duke?) It turned out that Mary Beth didn’t and that’s a good thing. We already suffered through Mary Beth dating Vince.

Anyway, the important thing is that everything worked out in the end. With the help of Dustin Diamond, Antonio learned a lesson about being a good employee and Mary Beth realized that she wasn’t in love with Eugene. Yay!

Next week: Hammer returns!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.3 “The Gospel According to Silk” and 6.4 “The Enforcer”

Posted on August 7, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

This week, Silk’s aunt dies and Julie nearly kills another player. It’s a dangerous time in Indiana!

Episode 6.3 “The Gospel According To Silk”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 7th, 2000)

The team is confused as to why Silk never wants to go to kareoke night with them. They decide to follow Silk to find out what he does after each game. They discover that he goes to a church so, of course, they decide to follow him inside so they can find out what he does in there. Uhmmm …. it’s a church. What do they think he’s doing in there? Seriously, the people were the worst about not giving anyone any privacy.

Anyway, it turns out that Silk and his Aunt Charlotte (Jennifer Holliday) sing in a gospel choir. (Have I mentioned how much I dislike gospel music?) While sitting in the church, the team demands to know why Silk hadn’t been telling them that he sings in the choir. Uhmmm …. people, you’re in a church! You’re interrupting a rehearsal! You’re in a place of worship! LEAVE SILK ALONE! He doesn’t have to tell you about every single aspect of his life.

Anyway, now that Aunt Charlotte has been introduced to everyone, she does what every guest star on this show does and she goes to the school to watch the Tornadoes practice. Charlotte also tosses the ball and makes a few baskets. Charlotte explains that she can do anything with “faith and a little prayer.” Then Charlotte goes home, has a heart attack, and, despite all of Silk’s prayers, dies.

Uh-oh, Silk is losing his faith! Fear not, though, Charlotte’s ghost appears to him at church and tells him not to despair. Shows like Hang Time were always a bit cringey whenever they attempted to deal with religious faith but Danso Gordon did a good job portraying Silk’s pain and his eventual acceptance of Charlotte’s passing.

As for the B-plot, Coach K and Mary Beth competed to win a car by seeing who could stay in it the longest. In the end, they both lost because they were both outside of the car when time ran out. Or something. It was dumb and it definitely felt out-of-place in this episode.

Episode 6.4 “The Enforcer”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on October 14th, 2000)

“I was watching the tape of our first three games,” Coach K tells the team at practice, “and I wasn’t happy with what I saw….”

Uhmmm, Coach K, the first episode of the sixth season had the team on the verge of making the playoffs and bragging about their undefeated season. Why are you only now watching the tape of your first three games?

(The real answer is that NBC showed the final 26 episodes out-of-order. The fun answer is that Coach K is just extremely slow.)

Coach K is worried that Julie isn’t being aggressive enough. In their upcoming game against Montrose, the Tornadoes will be facing Dave Carter (Riley Smith), a player who is so good that he’s going to go straight from high school to the NBA despite the fact that he looks way too short to be a basketball player. Dave’s NBA dreams are shattered with Julie knocks him down to the floor and he tears some ligament in his knee.

Guilt-stricken, Julie loses her competitive edge. Fortunately, when she goes to visit the wheelchair-bound Dave in the hospital, he tells her that he doesn’t hate her and that she has to “take the shot.” So, Julie gets back to normal and Dave …. well, I guess he’s going to be stuck in Indiana for the rest of his life. As always, the important thing is that Julie’s doing better.

Meanwhile, a malfunctioning ATM gives Kristy thousands of dollars. Unfortunately, it also causes both she and Mary Beth to have bad luck until they give the money away. As bad as their luck may be, at least they weren’t put in a wheelchair by Julie. Seriously, poor Dave!

I’m being a bit snarky but this wasn’t a bad episode. Learning how to deal with guilt is an important lesson and Hang Time deserves some credit for addressing it. That said, it’s still hard not to notice that the NBA-bound Dave didn’t really appear to be that good of a player in the first place. I mean, considering that Dave, who we were told was the best player in the history of Indiana high school basketball, didn’t appear to be better than any of the Deering players, shouldn’t the entire cast by NBA-bound?

Next week: Silk is offered a scholarship and a special guest stars shows up for movie night!

Retro Television Reviews: Hang Time 6.1 “www.eugene.trouble.com” and 6.2 “That 60s Show”

Posted on July 31, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Finally! We have reached the final season of Hang Time! While watching this season, it’s important to remember that seasons 5 and 6 were filmed at the same time and were originally meant to be one season. Just as they did with Saved By The Bell: The New Class, NBC decided to split the final season into two seasons and they also decided to air the episodes out of order. In other words, I imagine that it’s going to be a lot of fun trying to find any sort of consistent continuity over the final 12 episodes of Hang Time!

With that in my mind, I’m ready to finally move on from this show so let’s get started on season 6!

Episode 6.1 “www.eugene.trouble.com”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on September 23rd, 2000)

When I talk about how showing episodes out of order can lead to continuity issues, I’m talking about an episode like this one. Season 5 ended with the Tornadoes going to the championship tournament and losing to Muncie, despite the fact that they were favored to defeat Muncie. In fact, the team had been named “Team of the Decade,” which seemed like a bit of overkill on the part of the press. Obviously, the Tornadoes were a good team but it still seemed strange that they got as cocky as they did last season.

If all of the episode had been aired in the order in which they were meant to have been aired, the viewers would have understood that the Tornadoes were not only favored to win the tournament but that, until their loss to Muncie, they had been undefeated for the entire season. That would have explained why they were such heavy favorites, why they got so cocky, and why their loss truly was such an upset. Instead, the majority of the “undefeated season” episodes were moved to season 6. So now, the undefeated season happened the year after their loss to Muncie, when the players themselves were in their sixth year of high school. And, because the episode were aired out-of-order, the first episode of the sixth season features the Tornadoes already deep into their undefeated season and on the verge of making the playoffs.

In this episode, the undefeated season is briefly threatened by Eugene’s gambling problem. When Eugene loses a lot of money playing video poker, he makes the mistake of putting $500 on the Pacers game. When he loses that bet, evil bookie Bill (Kevin Sage) demands that Eugene throw his next game. Instead, Eugene puts his team first, wins the game (and yes, the Tornadoes win by one point), and then nearly gets killed in the hallway by Bill. Fortunately, Coach K comes running around a corner and tosses Bill against some lockers. I’m convinced the look of fear on Bill’s face was real because Dick Butkus may have been a retired football player but it was obvious that he could still break some bones if he wanted to. Eugene learns an important lesson and Coach K declines to kick Eugene off the team, despite the fact that Eugene violated the contract that he signed the previous season.

While this was going on, Kristy had an interview with Stanford but, after an emergency dental appointment left her unable to talk, Mary Beth took her place. Why Kristy didn’t just reschedule the meeting, I have no idea. It was dumb but Megan Parlen and Amber Barretto were always a good comedy team and I laughed every time Mary Beth said that Kristy had a “hump” (due to Kristy wearing an ice pack on her back) and Kristy shouted back, “It wasn’t a hump!”

This episode felt like a strange way to start the season. Again, that’s because of the way that NBC split the final season in two. Usually, Hang Time would start each season with the beginning of the school year. This time, Hang Time jumped into the middle of the season, with the team already talking about making the playoffs. It just didn’t feel right but at least Mary Beth and Kristy are finally, after six years of high school, thinking about college.

Episode 6.2 “That 60s Show”

(Dir by Miguel Higuera, originally aired on September 30th, 2000)

The students at Deering High are upset over the new dress code. I don’t blame them! Look at this:

I would refuse to wear that uniform too!

Pompous ex-Yippie teacher Mr. McHenry (Alan Young) tells them that they should protest the same way that Mr. McHenry protested at Chicago in 1968. (So, they should get hit with tear gas and beaten up by the cops?) The protest rally is a success. The school board drops the uniform requirement but they also fire Mr. McHenry. So, the students decide to protest that as well….

GET TO CLASS, YOU BRATS!

Anyway, the Deering basketball team sits down on the court and refuses to start their next game unless Mr. McHenry is reinstated, which puts their undefeated season at risk. Seriously, though, wouldn’t they just be ordered to forfeit the game if they refused to play?

Anyway, Mr. McHenry is reinstated, even though he’s like 80 and probably would have enjoyed his retirement.

This episode annoyed me. Let us never speak of it again.