Late Night Retro Television Review: Pacific Blue 3.3 “Rave On”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Tuesdays, I will be reviewing Pacific Blue, a cop show that aired from 1996 to 2000 on the USA Network!  It’s currently streaming everywhere, though I’m watching it on Tubi.

This week, the bike cops go undercover and essentially end up looking like a bunch of cops working undercover.

Episode 3.3 “Rave On”

(Dir by Michael Levine, originally aired on August 17, 1997)

The bike cops go undercover!

If that’s not funny enough, they go undercover as ravers.

I swear, you haven’t really laughed until you’ve laughed at the sight of the extremely stiff stars of Pacific Blue hanging out at a rave and giving each other secret signals whenever they spot anyone doing drugs.  Chris’s drink gets roofied and, as someone who has experienced that in real life, I appreciated that the show was trying to warn its viewers about leaving their drinks unattended.  Seriously, if my friends hadn’t been looking out for me that night, it scares me to think about what probably would have happened.  Still, good intentions can’t disguise just how unconvincing Darlene Vogel’s performance was.

Palermo spends this entire episode saying that the parents of teens who go to raves and take drugs should be prosecuted and jailed.  Then Palermo discovers that his sixteen year-old daughter (Johna Stewart-Boden) has been attending raves and, while she hasn’t intentionally taken any drugs, she’s stood by while her friends have.  Palermo does not arrest himself.  He does not throw himself in jail.  He does not look in the mirror and smirk and say, “Oh yeah, buddy, your parent-of-the-year.”  In other words, Lt. Palermo is a big, freaking hypocrite.

The bike cops break up the rave scene but the music will never die.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Good Morning, Miss Bliss 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Good Morning, Miss Bliss, which ran on the Disney Channel from 1988 to 1989 before then moving to NBC and being renamed Saved By The Bell.  The entire show is currently streaming on Prime!

This week, the kids learn yet another lesson about conflict resolution.

Episode 1.9 “Let’s Get Together”

(Dir by Burt Brinckerhoff, originally aired on February 18th, 1989)

After Ms. Palladino (Joan Ryan) is kicked out of her apartment by her boyfriend, she temporarily moves in with Miss Bliss.  It doesn’t go well.  Ms. Palladino is messy and quirky and accident-prone.  Miss Bliss is British.  Can these two friends figure out how to live together?

Meanwhile, Nikki and Zach have been assigned to work on a class project but they’re suddenly not getting along.  They have to convince Miss Bliss that the telephone is a worthwhile invention.  (Miss Bliss plays the role of a skeptical pilgrim.)  Nikki wants to use a bunch of charts to make her point.  Zach pretends to call Nikki on the phone and apologizes to her for not being a good friend.  It’s extremely awkward to watch, despite the fact that Mark-Paul Gosselaar and Heather Hopper both pour their hearts into the scene.  Actually, maybe that’s why it’s so awkward to watch.  Imagine being a student, trapped in that classroom and forced to listen to Zach and Nikki work out their differences.  Miss Bliss give them an A and decides to stop being such a bitch to Ms. Palladino.  Good for her!

This episode probably would have been more effective if we hadn’t already been subjected to an episode where Mickey and Zach get into a disagreement and then talk about their friendship while the entire school watches.  This episode felt like a do-over.  I also found it curious that all the students apparently knew that Miss Bliss and Ms. Palladino were living together and not getting along.  First off, why would the students know this and secondly, why would the students cares?

I’m starting to think that Good Morning Miss Bliss was not a realistic portrayal of the Indiana middle school experience.

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 4.5 “I Was A Middle-Aged Werewolf”


Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi and several other services!

This week, it’s Halloween!

Episode 4.5 “I Was A Middle-Aged Werewolf”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on October 28th, 1987)

This was a cute episode and one that I had actually seen before.  My friend Mark recommended it to me three years ago, during an October in which I was looking for a little something to add to Horrorthon.

The Devil (Michael Berryman) makes his second appearance on the show, this time selling Mark a submarine sandwich on Halloween night.  Mark eats the sandwich while watching I Was A Teenage Werewolf on television.  (“Hey, this guy kind of looks like you!” he tells Jonathan.  Michael Landon, of course, starred in I Was A Teenage Werewolf.)  Mark is then haunted by nightmares in which Jonathan turns into a werewolf.  (And yes, Landon is made up to look like he did in the film.)

Meanwhile, in the waking world, Jonathan helps a lost trick-or-treater go home and he briefly turns into a werewolf so that he can scare the kid’s mean older sister.  I’m not really sure what the rules were about angels pulling Halloween pranks but it should be noted that Jonathan is actually a fairly nice werewolf and he allows the kid to be a hero by pretending to be scared of him.

The episode ends with Mark once again yelling in fear as Jonathan turns into a werewolf, just for Michael Landon to look straight at the camera, break character, and say, “Happy Halloween.”

Awwww, what a sweet episode!

After a few weak and heavy-handed episodes, it was nice to see Highway to Heaven return to its earnest roots.  This was a likable episode, one that showed that Landon was willing to laugh at himself and one that, to me, seemed to indicate a genuine love for the Halloween holidau.  This was a fun 60 minutes and watching it has left me even more eager about the approaching horrorthon season.

Retro Television Reviews: Trial By Fire (dir by Alan Metzger)


Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Sundays, I will be reviewing the made-for-television movies that used to be a primetime mainstay.  Today’s film is 1995’s Trial By Fire!  It  can be viewed on YouTube!

Trial By Fire opens with an absolutely heart-breaking scene, in which a teenager named Kip Bouchmeyer (Andrew Kavovit) enters his bedroom, closes and locks the door (and, in the process, locks out his dog, who sits out in the hallway sadly), and then proceeds to shoot himself.

The upper class community in which Kip lived is stunned by his suicide but they are soon also scandalized by reports that Kip had been having an affair with one of his teachers, Paulette Gill (Gail O’Grady).  Paulette denies the rumors but soon, Kip’s friends are coming forward and saying that Kip not only told them about the affair but that some of them spied on Kip while he was with her.  Paulette continues to deny the accusations but still loses her teaching license.  Paulette is put on trial, accused of seducing Kip and setting off the chain of events that led to his death.  The only people who seem to be willing to believe Paulette’s side of the story are Paulette’s husband, Roger (Michael Bowen), and her attorney, Owen Turner (Keith Carradine).

Indeed, it doesn’t take long for Owen to discover that there are several inconsistencies in the stories that the other students are spreading about Paulette and how she behaved as a teacher.  Owen starts to suspect that Kip’s friends met after Kip’s suicide and concocted the story of Kip and Paulette’s affair on their own.  But why would they do that and, more importantly, can Owen convince anyone else?

There have been a lot of movies made about teachers seducing and carrying on affairs with students.  (I wrote about one of them, Murder in New Hampshire, just a few weeks ago.) There have been far less films made about teachers who are falsely accused.  Interestingly enough, Trial By Fire is based on a true story.  Paulette Gill was a real teacher and, just as in the movie, she really was accused of contributing to the death of one of her students.  Because it’s based on a true story, Trial By Fire doesn’t answer every question that was raised by the case.  Though the film leaves no doubt that Paulette was innocent of seducing Kip, the film leaves it to the viewer to decide whether she was the victim of an actual conspiracy or if a bunch of teenagers just had an overactive imagination.  The film also leaves it to the viewer to decide as to whether or not Paulette allowed herself to get too close to her students, even if she didn’t actually have an affair with Kip.  It could be argued that Paulette allowed herself to care too much about Kip and was rather naïve in not realizing how easily gossip can spread in a high school.  But I think it could also be argued that it’s better to care too much than to not care at all.

It’s a good movie, though a rather sad one.  (The image of that dog sitting outside of Kip’s bedroom left me depressed for a full day.)  The cast, which is full of TV regulars, does a good job with their characters.  I especially liked Keith Carradine’s performance as the tough but fair-minded attorney.  Trial By Fire takes a familiar subject and gives it an unexpected spin, leaving the audience to consider what their own complicity would have been if they had found themselves in the same situation.