The Dean and the Flunkee”

Posted on September 24, 2025 by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Wednesdays, I will be reviewing the original Love Boat, which aired on ABC from 1977 to 1986! The series can be streamed on Paramount Plus!

This week, we have a special two-hour episode!

Episodes 6.18 and 6.19 “Isaac’s Aegean Affair/The Captain and The Kid/Poor Rich Man/ The Dean and the Flunkee”

(Dir by Alan Rafkin, originally aired on February 5th, 1983)

The Love Boat is going to Greece!

This is another one of those two-hour Love Boat episodes. The crew is assigned to work a Greek cruise. Love and sight-seeing follow. Isaac, for instance, falls in love with a passenger named Reesa (Debbie Allen) and even resigns from the crew so that he can spend the rest of his life in Greece with her. Unfortunately, Isaac forgets to ask Reesa ahead of time and, when Isaac returns to Reesa’s Greek flat, he discovers that she had reconciled with her husband (James A. Watson, Jr.). It’s back to the Love Boat for Isaac!

Meanwhile, the graduating class of Captain Stubing’s old college is holding their graduation ceremony at the ruins of a Greek temple. The class valedictorian (Jameson Parker) give a speech in which he shows appreciation to his Greek aunt (Eva Marie Saint), even though he’s discovered that she’s not as a wealthy as he originally assumed she was. The Dean (Eddie Albert) is finally convinced to give a makeup exam to a student (Leigh McCloskey) who missed his history final. A teacher (Shirley Jones) finally agrees to marry the dean. And Vicki briefly falls in love with a 16 year-old prodigy (Jimmy McNichol) and she gets engaged to him for about an hour or two. Captain Stubing wonders how Vicki would be able to continue her education if she got married. I’m wondering how she’s continuing her education while living and working on a cruise ship.

There was a lot going on in this episode but the true star of the show was the Greek scenery. This episode was filmed on location and, as such, it’s basically a travelogue. Fortunately, Greece looks beautiful! Seriously, the 2-hour, on-location episodes of The Love Boat must have been a blast to shoot.

This week? This week was probably a 10 out of 10 on the How Coked Up Was Julie Scale but hey, she was in Greece. She had every right to live a little.

Now, I want to take a cruise!

Retro Television Reviews: The Love Boat 2.22 “Love Me, Love My Dog/Poor Little Rich Girl/The Decision”

Posted on July 5, 2023 by Lisa Marie Bowman

It’s time for Isaac’s heart to get broken, yet again!

Episode 2.22 “Love Me, Love My Dog/Poor Little Rich Girl/The Decision”

(Dir by Roger Duchowny, originally aired on February 24th, 1979)

Isaac has sworn off falling in love with passengers. As he explains it, he’s fallen in love with a movie star, a singer, a criminal, and a journalist and, every time, the romance ended as soon as the ship docked. Isaac is tired of getting his heart broken and, unlike Doc and Gopher, he doesn’t view romance as just being a game.

Still, as soon as Isaac spots Selena Moore (Debbie Allen) boarding the ship, he’s interested. He insists that he’s not going to act on his attraction but both Gopher and Doc tell him that it’s okay to just have some fun. And when Selena starts showing up at the bar and telling Isaac about her doubts about whether or not she wants to get married to her fiancé, Isaac decides to follow Gopher and Doc’s advice. He and Selena have a shipboard romance.

And, of course, Isaac falls in love. He said that he wouldn’t but he does because that’s just who Isaac is. Isaac is the most sincere character on the show. Gopher is goofy. Doc is a walking HR nightmare. Julie is practical. The Captain is stern. And Isaac is the one who impulsively falls in love, even though he knows he’s probably going to get hurt.

When Isaac trips and falls after one night of dancing, Doc jokingly declares that Isaac will never walk again. Selena runs away in tears. That really should have been a clue that she loved her fiancé more than she was letting on. When the ship finally returns home, Isaac can only watch as Selena greets her fiancé, who turns out to be an older man who uses a wheelchair. Isaac can only wipe away a tear and hand the roses that he got for Selena to a random passenger. It’s a bit sad, even though the outcome was predictable. Ted Lange and Debbie Allen both made the story work far better than one might expect it to.

And it’s a good thing that Lange and Allen worked so hard because the other two stories are nowhere near as strong.

One of the stories features Fannie Flagg as Alicia Finch, an eccentric woman who sneaks her terrier (played by Cricket) onto the boat. (Cricket gets her own credit, which is cute). Alice meets Mason Randolph (Gene Rayburn), a single man who also loves dogs! Unfortunately, Cricket starts yapping and biting whenever she sees Mason. It looks like Alicia and Mason will never be. However, when the boat docks, Mason’s dog is waiting for him. Even though Mason’s dog is quite a bit bigger than her, Cricket takes a liking to him. This story was extremely predictable and Gene Rayburn was a bit annoying as Mason. (Apparently, he was a game show host and he delivers almost all of his lines as if he’s waiting for the audience to applaud.) On the plus side, Cricket was really cute.

Finally, Suzanne Welles (Maren Jensen) is a waitress who has won the lottery but now that she’s rich, she’s not sure if auto mechanic Alan Harmon (Dennis Cole) really likes her or just wants her money. Alan is also the Captain’s mechanic and Stubing comes up with a plan that’s so stupid that it makes you wonder if he should really be in charge of cruise ship. Basically, Stubing tells Suzanne that she’s right about Alan and that he’s only after her for the money. Alan then says that the Captain is correct. Stubing thinks that if Suzanne’s suspicions are confirmed, she’ll be able to relax and fall in love with Alan without worrying about why he’s pursuing her and …. wait, what? How does that make any sense? Why would Suzanne continue to spend time with Alan after he tells her that he’s only interested in her for the money? I mean, the boat is full of single, handsome men. The plan is idiotic but somehow, it works! Everyone tells the captain that he’s a genius. Seriously, what a weird story. I mean, Isaac is pouring out his heart and getting hurt again and the Captain is busy encouraging his passengers to lie to each other.

The cruise was definitely mixed bag. The Ted Lange/Debbie Allen story was nicely done. Cricket was cute. Lauren Tewes got to wear a really pretty dress for the ship’s Mexican Fiesta Night and I loved the sparkly blue evening gown that Maren Jensen wore while having dinner at the Captain’s table. But the non-Isaac stories were, respectively, bland and incredibly dumb. I guess no vacation is perfect.

Cleaning Out The DVR: Women of San Quentin (dir by William A. Graham)

Posted on September 23, 2017 by Lisa Marie Bowman

(Lisa is currently in the process of cleaning out her DVR! She’s got over 170 films to watch before the end of 2017! Will she make it? Who knows? She recorded 1983’s Women of San Quentin off of Retroplex on January 25th.)

For some reason, back in January, I felt the need to record several prison movies off of cable. I’m not sure where my mind was at that I would see a title like Women of San Quentin listed in the guide and think to myself, “That’s something I definitely need to record.” Maybe I was thinking of pursuing a career as a prison guard. That seems to be the easiest way to get a show on A&E nowadays.

Anyway, I imagine that anyone reading this review is looking that title and considering the VHS cover art and they’re probably assuming that Women of San Quentin is some sort of Cirio Santiago-directed women in prison film. And then consider the film’s cast: Amy Steel is best known for Friday the 13th Part II and April Fool’s Day. Stella Stevens is an exploitation film vet. One of the prisoners is played by Rockne Tarkington, who starred in a handful of blaxploitation films. William Sanderson, star of the infamous Fight For Your Life, has a small role. Yaphet Kotto plays a prison guard here but he’s best known for playing the villain in Live and Let Die. Gregg Henry plays a sociopath. Hector Elizondo and Debbie Allen play sympathetic guards. Even Ernie Hudson, a now-respectable actor with several less-than-savory films on his resume, shows up. Finally, consider this: Women of San Quentin was written by Larry Cohen, the man who directed both Black Caesar and It’s Alive.

However, despite all of that, Women of San Quentin is not an exploitation film. Instead, it’s a made-for-TV movie. (Director William A. Graham has over a hundred TV shows and made-for-TV movies to his credit.) It follows several storylines. Lt. Janet Alexander (Stella Stevens) is the tough-but-fair captain who is in charge of one of San Quentin’s most intimidating cell blocks. She’s great at her job and she has a vaguely romantic relationship with Hector Elizondo but she’s also tempted to find a new career. Charles Wilson (Ernie Hudson) steps up to lead the prison’s black inmates after another activist is assassinated. Meanwhile, the leader of the Mexican Mafia plots a prison riot and Yaphet Kotto and Debbie Allen use any means necessary to discover what’s going to happen.

And then there’s Liz Larson (Amy Steel), the newest prison guard who struggles to prove that she belongs in San Quentin. Sexist colleagues play cruel pranks on her. The prisoners shout at her whenever she walks past their cells. When she has to use a gun to break up a fight, she hesitates just a second too long. Will she be able to step up when real trouble breaks out? Among horror fans, Amy Steel is remembered for “surviving” several slasher films. (Her performance as Ginny in Friday the 13th Part 2 largely set the standard for which all final girls are judged.) Steel does a pretty good job as Liz but, actually, the entire movie is well-acted. The script is frequently rudimentary but the cast is full of unique talent and it’s always fun to watch so many good actors playing opposite each other.

I assume that the Women of San Quentin was meant to be a pilot for a TV show or something. It just has that feel to it. If just for the cast alone, I would recommend watching Women of San Quentin if you get a chance. I’m as surprised as anyone but, after all, where else are going to get a chance to watch Hector Elizondo, Yaphet Kotto, Stella Stevens, and Amy Steel all hanging out in a bar together? There are certain opportunities that you just don’t miss.

Back to School #23: Fame (dir by Alan Parker)

Posted on August 28, 2014 by Lisa Marie Bowman

“Fuck it, if I can’t dance I’ll change to the drama department.” — Lisa (Laura Dean) in Fame (1980)

For nearly a week now, we’ve been taking a chronological look at some of the best and some of the worst films ever made about teenagers and high school. Yesterday, we finished off the 70s with Rock ‘n’ Roll High School. Today, we start the 80s by looking at yet another musical set in a high school. That musical is 1980’s Fame.

Taking place at the High School For Performing Arts in New York City, Fame follows a group of students from the beginning of their freshman year to graduation four years later. Among those students are Bruno (Lee Curreri), a musical prodigy, Coco (Irene Cara), who thinks that she’s the most talented student at the school, insecure Doris (Maureen Teefy), gay actor Montgomery (Paul McCrane), talented but functionally illiterate dancer Leroy (Gene Anthony Ray), and self-destructive comedian Ralph Garcia (Barry Miller, giving the best performance in the film). Over the course of four years, they fight, love, sing, and dance. They especially do a lot of dancing, which is basically the main reason why I enjoyed the film.

Fame is the perfect film to transition into the 80s with because, in many ways, it’s a perfect combination of the 70s and the 80s. In its use of ensemble and its emphasis on the gritty lives that the kids live outside of the school, the film is truly product of the 70s. However, whenever the film follows the students inside of the school, it becomes very much an 80s film, the type where the emphasis is on stylistically hyper editing and emotions are just as likely to be expressed through a musical montage as through dialogue. With its combination of the kids dreaming in the school and then facing the harsh realities outside, Fame feels like a collision of 70s pessimism and 80s optimism.

(Needless to say, pessimism usually makes for a more realistic film but optimism is a lot more fun to watch.)

Not surprisingly, for a film that made and released 34 years ago, a lot of Fame feels very dated. (What is surprising is that the 2009 remake feels even more dated.) It’s difficult not to cringe at the sight of all the leg warmers and big hair on display. The same can be said for the synthesizer-heavy soundtrack but, to be honest, I like 80s music. It may be cheesy but you can dance to it and really, what more can you ask from music? If nothing else, Fame serves as a valuable time capsule of the time that it was made and yes, I know that I’ve been saying that about a lot of movies lately but hey, it’s true! And I happen to love time capsules. So there.

And besides, dated as the film may be, Fame does get the big things right. It captures that feeling that we all had in high school, that feeling that you are destined for greater things and that, as long as you believe in yourself, good things will automatically happen to you. It captures the wonderful feeling of not only being creative and talented but also knowing that you are talented and creative..

The film is full of hints that the majority of the students at the high school will probably eventually be forced to give up on their dreams. A popular and handsome student is first seen graduating and full of confidence, just to pop up again an hour later, working as a waiter and looking desperate. Haughty Coco goes to an audition and ends up in tears after a sleazy producer tells her to undress. Ralph performs his stand-up comedy and, exhausted after going for days without sleep, ends up bombing. Leroy is offered a chance to dance professionally but first he has to try to talk his English teacher into giving him a passing grade while she mourns for her husband, who died just a few hours earlier. It’s actually a pretty dark movie but it’s hopeful too because, by the end of it, you realize that not all of the characters are going to make it but at least they’re going to have a chance to try.