Tag Archives: Bryan O’Byrne

Horror Film Review: Love At First Bite (dir by Stan Dargoti)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Disco Dracula!

In 1979’s Love At First Bite, George Hamilton plays Dracula, who goes from living in Transylvania to trying to make it in New York City.  Even when you’re the King of the Vampires, it turns out that New York can be a difficult place to live.  No one has much respect for the tanned man in the cape, even after he shows off his powers.  He falls in love with a model, Cindy Sondheim (Susan Saint James), but she doesn’t buy into the idea that he’s a vampire.  She’s a New Yorker and she’s in therapy.  Her therapist, Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg (Richard Benjamin), is a direct descendant of Prof. Van Helsing and he does believes that “Vladimir” is a vampire but he can’t get anyone to believe him.  When he takes his concerns to the NYPD, Lt. Ferguson (Dick Shawn) dismisses him as being insane.  Which, to an extent, he is but only because no one will believe him….

Meanwhile, Dracula’s faithful servant, Renfield (Arte Johnson), starts every morning by leaning out of his apartment window and pretending to be a rooster.  It’s his signal to let Dracula know that it’s time to come home.  Dracula is so in love with Cindy that he sometimes forgets to keep track of time.  It’s a New York love story….

Love At First Sight is a comedy that essentially gets a lot of mileage out of a handful of jokes.  The main joke is the idea of George Hamilton, with his perpetual tan, playing Dracula and speaking with a Bela Lugosi-style accent.  Hamilton plays Dracula as being very confident and very smooth but also rather befuddled by 1979.  He’s a gentleman of the “old world” after all.  The other big joke is that Dracula is in New York, a city where no one is impressed by anything.  This is very much a “New Yorkers Will Be Rude To Anyone” movie, a genre that was very popular in the 70s.  Some films, like Taxi Driver, used the rudeness of New York as a metaphor for paranoia and detachment.  Love At First Bite uses it for laughs.

(For the record, my favorite “New Yorkers Will Be Rude To Anyone” movie is the original The Taking of Pelham One Two Three.  Also, the last time I briefly visited New York, everyone was very nice and polite to me.  Only once did someone yell, “Look out, lady!” and I’m still not really sure what I was supposed to be looking out for.)

There’s a lot to like about Love At First Sight.  Susan Saint James and George Hamilton don’t exactly have a ton of chemistry but Hamilton himself is fun to watch.  “Children of the night — shut up!” he yells at the wolves and it’s hard not to smile.  It’s just so goofy.  Hamilton and Arte Johnson are a good comedic team and, for that matter, so are Richard Benjamin and Dick Shawn.  It’s a film of set pieces.  Dracula and Renfield rob a blood bank.  Jeffrey confronts Dracula at dinner.  Dracula pops out of his coffin at a church.  Some of the set pieces work better than others and this is very much a film of its time but overall, it’s a genial and amusing send-up of the vampire genre.

And it features Dracula at a disco!  It’s a 70s movie and it stars George Hamilton so it’s not really surprising that the action moves to a disco.  Still, if you can’t appreciate the sight of a caped Dracula showing off his best moves, I don’t know what to tell you.

Love At First Sight is a reminder that not every Halloween movie has to be terrifying.  Some of them can just make you laugh.

Horror Film Review: The Norliss Tapes (dir by Dan Curtis)

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

1973’s The Norliss Tapes begins with a disappearance.

David Norliss (Roy Thinnes), a California-based journalist, has vanished.  Before he disappeared, he had started work on a book that would have detailed his own adventures investigating the paranormal.  Though Norliss vanishes, he leaves behind several audiotapes in which he discusses some of the frightening things that he has seen.  Searching for clue about Norliss’s disappearance, his editor, Sanford T. Evans (Don Porter), sits down and listens to the tapes.

(Incidentally, Sanford T. Evans is a wonderful name for an editor.  It’s a name that just says, “My father knew Hemingway and I went to the University of Pennsylvania as a legacy.’)

As Evans listens to each tape, we watch the story unfold from Norliss’s point of view.  In this film, we watch as Norliss investigates an incident in which Ellen Sterns Cort (Angie Dickinson) claims that she was recently attacked by her dead husband, James Cort (Nicki Dimitri).  James was an artist who, in his final days, became obsessed with the occult and fell under the influence of the Mademoiselle Jeckiel (Vonetta McGee), a mysterious woman who claimed to appreciate James’s art and who gave him a scarab ring that he insisted on being buried with.

Norliss interviews Ellen and investigates her story.  He’s far more sympathetic to the idea of James having returned from the dead than the local sheriff (Claude Akins) is.  Of course, the sheriff has problems of his own.  Dead bodies keep turning up in his county, their skin gray and their bodies drained of blood.  Hmmm …. I wonder if that could have anything to do with James Cort and his scarab ring….

The Norliss Tapes is a pretty simple film.  Norliss shows up and then basically waits around until James Cort makes an appearance.  The film only runs 72 minutes and it’s very much a pilot for a television series that never went into production,  Apparently, each episode would have featured Stanford listening to a different tape and hearing about David Norliss and a weekly guest star dealing with some sort of supernatural occurrence.  Director Dan Curtis was also responsible for the cult television series, Kolchak: The Night Stalker, and The Norliss Tapes feels very much like a dry run for that show.  The main difference is that Roy Thinnes’s David Norliss is nowhere near as nervous as Darren McGavin’s Carl Kolchak.

That said, the exact details for what’s going on with James Cort are almost ludicrously complicated.  It turns out that James Cort is not only trying to cheat death but he’s also helping an ancient Egyptian deity invade our world.  It’s best to ignore the nonsense about the Egyptian Gods and instead just focus on how creepy the undead James Cort is.  With his hulking frame, his gray skin, and his nearly glowing eyes, Cort is a truly frightening monster and he’s certainly the most impressive thing about this movie.  What makes Cort such an effective villain is how angry he seems to be.  Whenever he’s on screen, he’s either bursting through a door or chasing someone.  He’s pure nightmare fuel.

The Norliss Tapes never became a series but it did do well in Europe, where it was released in theaters.  The Norliss Tapes still has a cult following, not bad for a failed pilot.  Who knows what other adventures David Norliss could have had?

Late Night Retro Television Review: Highway to Heaven 2.13 “Alone”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Thursdays, I will be reviewing Highway to Heaven, which aired on NBC from 1984 to 1989.  The entire show is currently streaming on Freevee and several other services!

This week, Highway to Heaven moved me to tears.

Episode 2.13 “Alone”

(Dir by Michael Landon, originally aired on January 8th, 1986)

Arnie (played by John Franklin, the head little baddie in the original version of Children of the Corn) is a developmentally challenged boy who ran away from home because his father was abusive.  Now, he lives in a box in an alley and his only companion is an adorable calico kitty that he’s named Thomas.  (Some, I know, will be tempted to point out that almost all calico cats are female but it should also be remembered that cats also don’t care what we name them as long as we remember to pet and feed them.)  On his birthday, he steals a muffin, a candle, and a can of tuna.  While Thomas eats, Arnie wishes that he could have just one friend.

*sniff*  Sorry, got something in my eye….

Suddenly, Jonathan and Mark are standing in front of him.  Jonathan introduces himself as an angel and says that he’s here to make Arnie’s wish come true.

Sorry, I’m getting teary-eyed here.

Jonathan and Mark have gotten a job as construction workers for a rancher named Morgan (Gerald Gordon).  Morgan’s son, Larry (Danny McMurphy), spends all of his time in bed because he never feels well enough to go outside.  There’s nothing physically wrong with Larry.  Instead, his illness is a result of his depression over his parents splitting up.

As you can probably guess, Arnie does meet Larry.  And they do become friends.  And Arnie does give his birthday wish to Larry so that Larry can be healthy and so his parents will get back together.  And yes, Morgan and Larry do end up adopting both Arnie and Thomas.

I’ll admit that I cried while watching this episode.  Make no mistake, there was a part of me that realized just how heavy-handed the episode was.  I knew I was being manipulated and occasionally, I did resent how blatant it all was.  But I still cried, because it was a sweet story and Thomas the Calico was such a sweet kitty.  It was manipulative (there’s that word again, I know) but the themes of the story — friendship, loneliness, sadness, and the joy of taking care of an animal — were all universal and the manner that they were dealt with was almost achingly sincere.  When Jonathan admonished a store owner for wanting to call the police just because Arnie stole some cat food to feed his only companion, it’s obvious that Landon was speaking from the heart.  This episode was the epitome of Highway to Heaven — unashamedly sentimental, not at all subtle, and far more effective than it perhaps had any right to be.

Mini Retro Television Review: Welcome Back Kotter 3.23 “Goodbye, Mr. Kripps”

Posted on by Lisa Marie Bowman

Welcome to Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past!  On Saturdays, I will be reviewing Welcome Back Kotter, which ran on ABC  from 1975 to 1979.  The entire show is currently streaming on Tubi!

As I mentioned yesterday, I’ve got a sprained wrist so typing is kind of painful.  For that reason, today’s review is going to be a quick one.  You might even call it a …. MINI REVIEW!

Episode 3.23 “Goodbye, Mr. Kripps”

(Dir by Bob Claver, originally aired on February 16th, 1978)

Shop teacher Mr. Kripps (Jack Fletcher) is famous for being cranky and for not liking the Sweathogs.  Even when Gabe was a student at the school, Mr. Kripps was a teacher known for his bad temper.  When Mr. Kripps drops dead of a heart attack, only Barbarino is shocked.  Barbarino also feels guilty because Mr. Kripps was yelling at him when he died.

Woodman, Gabe, and the Sweathogs attends the funeral and then all return to Gabe’s apartment.  I get that the Sweathogs are in a co-dependent relationship with Gabe but why is Woodman at the apartment?  Gabe and the Sweathogs are depressed.  Woodman talks about how July is the best month for a funeral.  “August is too hot!”

Barbarino turns himself into the police for murder.  Awwwww, poor Barbarino!  Seriously, this is an unbelievably dumb thing to do but John Travolta is so crestfallen and child-like as Babarino that your heart still breaks for him.  No-nonsense Lt. Eddie Lasky (Norman Alden) comes down to the school to investigate Mr. Kripps’s death.  Gabe and Lasky help Barbarino to understand that it’s not his fault that Mr. Kripps had anger problems.  And again, it’s kind of dumb but Gabe Kaplan and Norman Alden play off of each other really well and Travolta’s puppy-dog earnestness just makes you want to hug him.

Woodman gets upset when he sees that Lasky parked in his spot.  Woodman vandalizes Lasky’s car and gets taken to jail.  When he returns to the school, Gabe cheers him up with a joke about Uncle Willie, who was sentenced to a 99-year sentence.

This was a good episode.  It felt like a throwback to the humane and sweet-natured episodes of the first season.  Travolta once again shows why he’s the Sweathog who ended up with the Oscar nominations.

Spaceballs (1987, directed by Mel Brooks)

Posted on by Jedadiah Leland

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away…

President Skroob (Mel Brooks), the evil and incompetent leader of Planet Spaceball, has squandered all of the air on his planet and is planning on stealing the atmosphere of the planet Druida.  To pull this off, he arranges for the idiotic Prince Valium (Jim J. Bullock) to marry Vespa (Daphne Zuniga), the princess of Druida.  (All together now: “She doesn’t look Druish.”)  Vespa and her droid, Dot Matrix (voice by Joan Rivers), flee Druida with Lord Dark Helmet (Rick Moranis) and Colonel Sandurz (George Wyner) in pursuit.

In debt to the intergalactic gangster, Pizza the Hut (voiced by Dom DeLuise), a mercenary named Lone Star (Bill Pullman) and his associate, the man-dog hypbrid Barf (John Candy), accept a contract from Vespa’s father (Dick Van Patten) to track down his daughter.  They take off in their space Winnebago to bring Vespa home.  Though they start only interested in money, Lone Star and Barf come to learn about love, freedom, and a mystical power known as the Schwartz.  (“No, the Schwartz!”)

Back when I was growing up and just being able to have HBO made you the coolest guy on the block, Spaceballs was one of my favorite movies.  I watched it every time that it came on cable.  As usual with Mel Brooks, there were a lot of double entendres that went over my young head but there was also enough goofy humor that I could laugh at what was going on.  I could quote all the lines.  I laughed whenever Rick Moranis showed up in his Darth Vader-costume.  I laughed at John Candy’s facial expressions.  I laughed when Mel Brooks showed up as Yogurt, the Spaceballs version of Yoda.  Pizza the Hut?  That’s hilarious when you’re a kid!

I recently rewatched the film.  Revisiting it was a lesson in how your memory can trick you.  I could still quote most of the lines with reasonable accuracy but nothing was quite the way I remembered it.  Rick Moranis and John Candy were still hilarious and, being older, I could better appreciated the frustration felt by George Wyner’s Colonel Sandurz.  I also realized what a good performance Bill Pullman gave as Lone Star.  While everyone else mugged for the camera, Pullman played his role straight.

I also discovered that a lot of the scenes that I remembered as being hilarious were actually just mildly amusing.  Mel Brooks was always hit-and-miss as a director, the type who would toss everything and the kitchen sink into his films.  Spaceballs has a lot of hilarious scenes but it’s obvious that Brooks didn’t have the same affection for the source material as he did with Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles or even High Anxiety.  Brooks is poking fun at Star Wars because it’s popular but he doesn’t seem to have any strong feelings, one way or the other, about George Lucas’s space epic.

I still laughed, though.  Even if Spaceballs wasn’t the masterpiece that I remembered it being, I still enjoyed rewatching it.  The jokes that hit were funny enough to make up for the ones that missed.  Even with his weaker films, Mel Brooks is a national treasure.