Our regular review of Homicide will not be posted today so that we may bring you this special presentation….
My retro television review will return tomorrow. For now, check out 1966’s The Human Voice. In this 55-minute stage adaptation, Ingrid Bergman plays a woman having a phone conversation with her lover of five years on the night before he’s meant to marry another. Written by Jean Cocteau, this monologue was also filmed by Pedro Almodovar in 2020, with Tilda Swinton giving a performance that cannot hope to compare to Bergman’s.
And now, without further ado, here is The Human Voice!
Our regular review of Check It Out! will not be posted tonight so that we might bring you this special program….
My retro television reviews will return next week. For now, we present you with The Gymnast, a short film from 1980 about a teenage girl named Jenny who wants to be the best gymnast in the world but who is going to have to learn some important lessons about hard work and humility beforehand. I could relate to this film because I was the same way about dancing when I was a teen. Of course, I never learned any lessons about hard work or humility and I’m all the better for it.
That said, this isn’t a bad little film. Zina Bethune gives a good performance as the hard-pushing coach and there’s plenty of gymnastic action as well. I’m going to guess this was probably made to appeal to teens who would presumably have found a bunch of new heroes watching the 1980 Summer Olympics. Jimmy Carter, however, had other plans.
Now, without any further ado, here is …. The Gymnast!
Our regularly scheduled review of Welcome Back Kotter will not be posted this week so that we may bring you this special presentation….
From 1982 and filmed for HBO, it’s a stage production of Barefoot In The Park! I’ve always loved the Robert Redford/Jane Fonda film version but I also enjoy this recording of one of the play’s periodic Broadway revivals. Richard Thomas and Bess Armstrong play the newlyweds and they really bring Neil Simon’s dialogue to life.
Without further ado, here is Barefoot In The Park!
Our regularly scheduled review of Friday the 13th: The Series will not be posted tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….
My retro television reviews will return next week. For tonight, check out 1984’s Contact For Life, an earnest and actually pretty well-acted short film about teenagers and drunk and driving. Yes, that is William Zabka in the thumbnail below. I imagine that Zabka is the main reason most people would watch this film today. He plays a slightly nicer version of Johnny Lawrence in this film. Be careful about getting too attached to him.
The film also features a hockey practice where everyone apparently practices getting hurt by deliberately falling on the ice and then slamming against a wall. Ouch! That game will never make sense to me. (Sorry, Leonard.)
Our regularly scheduled review of St. Elsewhere will not be posted today so that we may bring you this special presentation….
My retro television reviews will return next week but for now, check out this 1984 production of You Can’t Take It With You, starring the great Jason Robards. Back in 1938, this play served as the basis of a perfectly charming Frank Capra film. (It also won best picture of the year.) This filmed version of the play’s Broadway revival is just as charming.
And now, without further ado, here is You Can’t Take It With You….
Malibu, CA will not be reviewed tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….
My retro television reviews will return next week but, for now, why not enjoy something even better than me discussing my hatred of Malibu, CA? 1982’s Wait Until Dark is a videotaped record of a stage production of Frederick Knott’s classic play about a blind woman who is menaced by three criminals. (I assume it was filmed for PBS. According to Lettrboxd, this aired on television on June 20th, 1982.) This play was famously adapted into an Audrey Hepburn film in 1967. The production below gives us a chance to see how the suspense plays out in a theatrical setting. The cast, including Katharine Ross and Stacy Keach, is excellent!
Monsters will not be reviewed tonight so that we may bring you this very special presentation of 1983’s Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
Yes, my retro television reviews will return next week but, until then, enjoy this blast from the past. In this hour-long presentation, Fran Davies (Kari Michaelson) is upset when her mother (Marion Ross) takes a summer job working as a maid for a rich family. At first, Fran thinks that Andrea (Jennifer Jason Leigh), the daughter of her mother’s employer, is a stuck-up snob but she soon learns that Andrea is instead painfully shy and that she has parents who are rich but unloving. Meanwhile, Fran’s parents are …. well, I wouldn’t call them poor. The film acts as if they’re poor but, from all indications, they appear to be comfortably middle class. The point is that they’re not rich but they are loving.
This is worth watching for Jennifer Jason Leigh’s performance as Andrea, a character to whom I could relate. It’s not easy being both shy and beautiful. Fans of great character actors will also be happy to see James Karen, playing Andrea’s father.
Now, without further ado, here is Have You Ever Been Ashamed Of Your Parents?
“The Love Boat will not be reviewed tonight so that we might bring you this special presentation….”
My Retro Television Reviews, including my reviews of The Love Boat, will return next week. For now, let’s enjoy a blast from the past. First aired in 1973, Don’t Call me Mama Anymore was the second television special to feature Cass Elliott. Like the first one, it was essentially a pilot for a weekly variety show. This special was a far better showcase for Cass Elliott and it actually led to her getting a show for the 1974 season. Unfortunately, Cass passed away in London before filming began.
For now, here is Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore, featuring Cass Elliott, Joel Grey, Michelle Phillips, and Dick Van Dyke.
Pacific Blue will not be reviewed this week so that we might bring you this special broadcast of 1982’s Rock It’s Your Decision!
Jeff (Ty Taylor) has been challenged to think about the music he listens to and to only listen to Christian music for a few weeks. Jeff takes the challenge and, in the film’s climatic speech, he reveals that even Barry Manilow is a servant of the Devil. This film is dated, incredibly silly, and oddly watchable. It might have had more impact if the lead character wasn’t so dorky. “I love a get down beat!” I love the way his voice cracks when he shouts, “Do you think I’m sexy?”
Pacific Blue will return next week. For now, check out Rock It’s Your Decision!
Normally, this is where and when I would post my weekly review of Fantasy Island but, due to this being a busy week, my Retro Television Reviews are on break until Sunday. Fear not, though, we have alternative programming!
From 1969, it’s The Mama Cass Television Program! This was actually meant to be a pilot for a variety show that would have been hosted by Mama Cass Elliott, formerly of the Mamas and the Papas. For that reason, there’s some comedy bits along with Cass singing. Keep an eye out for Martin Landau! The comedy, to be honest, is a bit cringey but it really doesn’t matter when you’ve got Cass Elliott and her amazing voice.
Fantasy Island will return next week but for now….