Welcome to Late Night Retro Television Reviews, a feature where we review some of our favorite and least favorite shows of the past! On Fridays, I will be reviewing Freddy’s Nightmares, a horror anthology show which ran in syndication from 1988 to 1990. The entire series can be found on Tubi!
This week, a future Oscar winner shows up in Springwood.
Episode 1.14 “Black Tickets”
(Dir by George Kaczender, originally aired on February 5th, 1989)
Brad Pitt appears in this week’s episode, playing Rick. Rick is a rebellious teenager who elopes with his girlfriend, Miranda (Kerry Wall). Even on a low-budget show like this, Pitt’s screen presence was undeniable. From the minute he shows up onscreen, it’s impossible to look away from him. He had that movie star charisma from the start. It’s a shame that the episode itself isn’t that good.
It’s a typical Freddy’s Nightmares scenario. The first 20 minutes feature Rick having an extended dream sequence after he gets hit by a car. Rick apparently dreams about staying at a creepy hotel with Miranda and then being forced to kill two cops that show up and attempt to arrest him. But, at the end of the story, he sees himself lying in the middle of the road and realizes that everything that has happened since he got hit by the car has only been happening in his head.
The second 20 minutes features Miranda married to Rick. Rick has no settled down but Miranda is worried that she might be pregnant. While she waits for the results of her pregnancy test, she sees herself trapped in the house as a mother while Rick goes from being a rebel to being a police officer. Finally, Miranda snaps out of her dream and discovers that she’s not pregnant. She jumps for joy on her bed but then she slips, hits her head, and ends up with the mind of a child.
This was a pretty bland episode, even with Brad Pitt in the cast. The main problem was that it was all so predictable. The dreams were obviously dreams so there wasn’t really any suspense or tension while they were playing out. Freddy’s Nightmares used the “Its all just a dream” format so often that, by this point in the first season, it had gotten fairly boring. That was certainly the case here.
Right now, on Tubi, you can find a film that the service says is titled Bundy Reborn. It’s a horror film, one that centers on a medical student named David O’Hara (played by the film’s director, Matthan Harris) who turns into a serial killer. Struggling with the trauma of having witnessed his father (Bill Moseley) murder his younger sister, David kidnaps Melissa Daniels (Lindsay Hightower) and then disappears into the night when Melissa is rescued by Inspector Lorenzo (the one and only Giovanni Lombardo Radice). Nine months later, David comes out of hiding after Melissa gives birth to their child. David once again kidnaps Melissa and kills several other people as well.
It’s pretty much a standard serial killer film. Despite the title, it has little to do with Ted Bundy. In fact, Bundy isn’t even mentioned in the film. David, like Bundy, is a handsome serial killer who went to college. But, whereas Bundy killed because he enjoyed it, David is trying to recreate a family that was destroyed by his equally sociopathic father. There’s a germ of an interesting idea to be found in this film. For all of his crimes and his evil actions, David really is just carrying on the family tradition. Can evil be passed down genetically? Or would David be perfectly normal if he just hasn’t witnessed his father killing his sister? Those are legitimate questions that this film raises and then promptly seems to forget about. The title, however, suggests that David is literally Ted Bundy in a new body and that’s simply not the case here.
Indeed, the film was originally released under a totally different title, The Inflicted. That title worked well with this film’s portrayal of a son who inherited his murderous compulsions from his father. David has been inflicted with the same evil that his father carries in his heart. The Inflicted is an honest title but, at the same time, it’s not a title that’s going to grab the audience. It’s a title that feels a bit too generic. Bundy Reborn, on the other hand, is an acknowledgement of the fact that Ted Bundy is a particularly macabre part of the American pop cultural landscape. As evil and worthy of hate as Ted Bundy may have been, viewers just can’t get enough of him. Ted Bundy never had much of a chance to pursue his political ambitions but today, more people probably know who Ted Bundy was then know that Connecticut Senator Richard Blumenthal lied about serving in Vietnam.
As for the film, the plot is full of contrivances and moments that just don’t make much sense. For horror fans, it is a chance to see several icons in one film, though most of them have extremely small roles. That said, it’s nice to see a usually villainous actor like Sid Haig cast as a kindly psychiatrist. Bill Moseley is properly menacing as David’s father. Doug Bradley seems to be enjoying himself as an FBI agent. As for Giovanni Lombardo Radice, how can you not smile when he’s onscreen? Radice’s Italian accent may seem out of place in a film that is shot and was made in North Texas. But Radice had an undeniable screen presence and he looked good wearing a trenchcoat and holding a gun. He simply was Lorenzo.
On a persona note, this film was shot in my part of the world. Several scenes were shot in my hometown. Several other scenes were filmed in the town where I went to college. When Inspector Lorenzo gets a call about David’s activities, I immediately yelled, “Oh my God, he’s at the Shops at Legacy!” Later, my heart ached when I saw that the hospital that Melissa was taken to was the same hospital that my father was taken to immediately after his car accident back in May. I recognized almost every location in the film as some place that I had been personally and that was definitely kind of exciting.
Finally, let’s all just be happy that Bundy has not been reborn but instead was apparently cremated and dumped out over some anonymous swimming pool somewhere.
Yeah, whatever, dude. Seriously, how am I supposed to take seriously a film that features several scenes of people singing that song?
2024’s They Turned Us Into Killers is a film about vigilante justice. After her boyfriend gets her addicted to drugs and then rapes her with his brothers, Karma (Lauren Francesca) kills herself. Fortunately, she leaves behind an extremely long and detailed suicide note that allows her best friend Star (Scout Taylor-Compton) to know that she needs to track down and kill BJ (Bryce Draper) and his moronic brothers. Star recruits Zion (Brian Anthony Williams) to help her, because Zion’s mother was raped and murdered by BJ’s father (Kane Hodder). Zion later got revenge on BJ’s father and now, he’s going to help Star get revenge on BJ.
So, here’s the thing. This story actually had potential. Seriously, who doesn’t want to watch a bunch of rapists get tortured for their crimes? Unfortunately, the film’s execution is an absolute mess. This is one of those films that jumps around in time, so you’re never quite sure if you’re watching something that’s happening in the film’s present or if you’re watching yet another flashback. One gets the feeling that this was done to try to disguise just how simplistic the film’s story actually is but the end result is more likely to induce a headache than anything else. The film pretty much begins with Star explaining that Karma get hooked on drugs and killed herself. Therefore, there’s nothing really to be gained by then segueing into a lengthy flashback of Karma doing what we just heard that she did. We already know what happened to Karma. Flashbacks are only necessary if they add something new to the story. When all they do is show us what we already know, they feel more like padding. In this case, it feels like rather exploitive padding.
The film is more of a vigilante film than a true horror film. That said, horror icons like Kane Hodder, Bill Moseley, and Michael Berryman all make brief appearances and the scenes where Star stalks her victims definitely owe a bit to the old school slasher films. When the film isn’t busy with the flashbacks, it’s largely made up of scenes of Star taunting her victims while they’re tied down to a table. The torture scenes tend to go on forever, to the point where they again feel more like padding than anything else. And while the film’s victims certainly deserve their fate, Star isn’t particularly likable either. Perhaps if Karma had been her sister, I would have had more sympathy for her. Instead, Karma is just a friend to whom Star wasn’t even close enough to know that she was struggling until she committed suicide.
(On another note, naming the character Karma is way too cutesy. Sorry, movie.)
Vigilante films are always a bit of a mixed bag. Charles Bronson was an effective vigilante, usually because he was trying to either protect or avenge his family. Clint Eastwood was an effective vigilante because most of his vigilante films took place in the old west, at a time when people really had no choice but to take the law into their own hands. I will always cheer Camille Keaton getting revenge on those four rednecks in the original I Spit On Your Gave and yes, that includes that dumbass Matthew. I think the lesson here is that it takes a star with a lot of screen presence and a director who knows how to properly pace a film to make a vigilante film work. They Turned Us Into Killers …. well, it just doesn’t work.
This is not going to be a traditional film review because let’s just state the obvious. Army of Darkness is great. Everyone knows that Army of Darkness is great. Everyone loves Army of Darkness. It’s not like you’re reading this review because you need to know whether or not Army of Darkness is a good film.
Now, interestingly enough, not everyone recognized just how good Army of Darkness was when it was first released. A lot of reviewers were confused by director Sam Raimi’s mix of of horror (because the Deadites are scary under any circumstances) and slapstick comedy. Today, we’re used to films and television shows that attempt to mix comedy and horror. Ryan Murphy’s built an entire career out of mixing gore with camp and, as a result, he’s the favorite horror filmmaker of people who think they’re too good for horror. In 1992, when Army ofDarkness was first released, mixing horror and comedy caught critics and audiences off-guard. What’s interesting is that 31 years later, Army of Darkness still feels fresh while many of the comedy horror films that followed feel tired.
I think one reason why the film continues to work is because it’s obvious that both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell were truly committed to bringing their demented vision to screen. The film features Campbell as Ash Williams, the S-Mart clerk who, after a night of fighting the Deadites and losing his hand, has found himself in the Middle Ages, captured by Lord Arthur (Marcus Gilbert) and expected to live the life of a medieval slave.
Ash is often described as being one of the dumbest movie heroes of all time but, as this film shows, Ash’s stupidity is also his secret weapon. While others heroes would probably get caught up trying to rationalize or understand the situation in which they’ve found themselves, Ash just accepts it. While others heroes would strategize or try to figure out a clever way to get out of their situation, Ash simply fights back and runs straight into trouble. “This is my boomstick!” Ash yells at one point and, while it establishes himself as being a great warrior, it’s also a case of Ash bragging on himself. Ash is a big fan of bragging and it must be said that it usually works out for him.. When Ash is attacked by evil Ash and several miniature Ashes, the mindless delight that all of these different Ashes take in trying to destroy each other is infectious.
Of course, Ash’s stupidity can also be his biggest downfall. For me, the best part of this film is when Ash tries to recover the Necronomicon from the haunted forest. He is given three simple words that he needs to repeat before taking the book. Before entering the forest, he practices by repeating the words twice but refuses to repeat them a third time because “I’ve got them!” Of course, Ash doesn’t have them so he does what any of us would do. He attempts to mumble the third world. This, of course, raises an army of the dead.
(My second favorite part of the film is that the army of the dead is surprisingly talkative as they rise from their graves. My third favorite part of the movie is Ted Raimi continually popping up as different supporting characters, occasionally even arguing with himself. My fourth favorite part of the movie — well, I’ve got a lot of favorite parts of this movie. Army of Darkness is one of those endlessly quotable movies about which you can spend hours saying, “Remember when….”)
“Shop smart, shop S-mart,” Ash says at one point and it’s tempting to laugh because Ash isn’t smart but he’s determined and his oddly confident and he manages to find a strange sort of joy in every situation that he finds himself. He’s the ultimate blue collar hero and Army of Darkness is the ultimate celebration of Ash Williams, Bruce Campbell, and Sam Raimi.
Here’s the trailer for Natty Knocks, an upcoming horror film that features three actors beloved by horror fans everywhere, Bill Moseley, Danielle Harris, and the great Robert Englund!
First released in 1986, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 opens with two idiots driving down an isolated highway in Texas. They’re heading down to Dallas for the Red River Showdown, the annual football game between Oklahoma U. and the University of Texas at Austin. They’re drunk, of course. And, being rich kids in the mid-80s, they’ve got a car phone. They place a call to a local radio DJ named Stretch (Caroline Williams, giving a great performance) and they force her to listen as they harass the driver of a passing truck. Of course, when a chainsaw-wielding Leatherface (Bill Johnson) emerges from the truck and kills both of them, Stretch hears that as well.
Yes, Leatherface and the entire family are back. When last seen at the end of 1974’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Leatherface was dancing with his chainsaw while the morning sun shined down on the Texas countryside. Now, he and the family have moved to North Texas and the eldest brother, Drayton Sawyer (Jim Siedow), has become a bit of a local celebrity due to his chili. (Everyone loves Drayton’s chili but that’s mostly because they don’t know who the main ingredient is.) Though one of the brothers was killed at the end of the original film, he’s been replaced by the manic Chop-Top (Bill Moseley), who has a metal plate in his head. Of course, Grandpa (Ken Evert) is still alive. He’s well over a hundred years old but he still enjoys trying to wield a hammer.
The family is being pursued by Lefty Enright (Dennis Hopper), a crazed Texas ranger who is also the uncle of Sally and Franklin Hardesty, who were both victimized in the first film. (Sally, we’re told, is in a mental institution. As for Franklin, a skeleton in a wheelchair does make an appearance at one point.) Lefty approaches Stretch to get a copy of the tape of the two drunk idiots being killed by Leatherface. Unfortunately, the family also discovers that Stretch has the tape and they soon come after her as well….
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 is not as universally beloved as the first film but I like it. It helps, of course, to know something about Texas-OU weekend. Imagine Mardi Gras without the nudity or the beads but with a lot more beer and a lot more frat boys and you have a pretty good idea of what Texas-OU weekend is like in Dallas. The entire city goes crazy as it’s invaded by football fans from Oklahoma and Austin. Why are they playing football in Dallas as opposed to their own cities? Dallas is considered to be neutral ground and the fact that they need neutral ground to play a football game should tell you just how invested people get in that one game. Texas-OU weekend is all about excess and the same could be said about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2.
With the original film, Tobe Hooper fooled audiences into thinking that they were seeing more gore than they actually were. The first Texas Chainsaw Massacre is nearly bloodless. Hooper takes the opposite approach to the sequel, filling the screen with blood and viscera. For that reason, Part 2 is still controversial among fans of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre films but I think Hooper made the right decision. Attempting to duplicate the original’s atmosphere would have been impossible. Instead of just remaking the original film, Hooper did something different. As well, as opposed to the more subtle social satire of the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the humor in Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 is far broader and a bit more hit-and-miss. But again, it all links back to Texas-OU weekend. There may not be much that’s subtle about The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 but the same can be said of the Red River showdown and Texas-OU Weekend. For that matter, the same can be said for much of Texas in general and Dallas in specific. Like me, Tobe Hopper was a Texan. True Texans know what makes our state great but we also know what makes our state totally batshit insane. Tobe Hooper got Texas in a way that all the filmmakers from up North never will.
That’s not to say that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 is a perfect film, of course. The film’s second half, which takes place almost entirely in the underground caverns in which the Sawyers have made their home, is considerably less compelling than the first. The scene where the Sawyers attempt to get Grandpa to bludgeon Stretch with a hammer goes on forever and it’s far less effective than when they tried to get Grandpa to do the same thing to Sally in the first film. As well, it’s hard not to be disappointed with Drayton’s transformation from being ambiguously friendly in the first film to being a flat-out villain in the second. The first film showed that Jim Siedow was a far better actor than one might guess from the sequel.
But here’s what does work. Bill Moseley’s performance as Chop Top is completely manic and over-the-top and, at times, a little bit annoying. But he’s also so completely unhinged and Moseley is so uninhibited in the role that it’s impossible to look away whenever he’s onscreen. Dennis Hopper, who was just starting to make his Hollywood comeback when he appeared in this film, plays Lefty as being so obsessive that sometimes, he seems like he might be just as dangerous as the people that he’s pursuing. Hopper makes the character sympathetic, though. There’s a gleam of madness in his eyes but the viewer never doubts his love for his family. It takes a special actor to pull off the scene where Lefty discovers Franklin’s remains and Hopper was exactly that actor. And finally, there’s Caroline Williams, giving a strong and inspiring performance as Stretch and never allowing the character to become a helpless victim. Stretch may scream (because who wouldn’t in that situation) but she never stop fighting. The scene where she “charms” Leatherface is the epitome of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2. It’s over the top, excessive, borderline offensive, sickly funny, and yet somehow very effective. If nothing else, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 is one of the few of the 80 slasher films to acknowledge what’s really going on with those boys and their chainsaws, machetes, and knives.
Though it may not be as good as the original, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 holds up well on its own. It’s an effective mix of satire and horror, featuring a strong heroine and a great performance from Caroline Williams. Hell, I think I’m going to be Stretch for Halloween this year!
Are you currently heading to New Orleans for Mardi Gras? Or are you already in New Orleans, getting drunk and dreaming about how many beads you’ll end up with by the end of Tuesday night? If that’s the case, have fun but be careful. New Orleans is a town that’s full of ghosts and voodoo.
At least, that’s what the movies would have you believe. Whenever you see a horror film that’s set in New Orleans, you know that voodoo is going to somehow play into it. The other thing that you can usually count on is that there will be at least one scene set during Mardi Gras. Really, that’s not surprising. Mardi Gras in New Orleans is not only a great party but it’s also uniquely cinematic in a way that Mardi Gras in Dallas never is.
(Yes, we celebrate Mardi Gras in Dallas. It’s nothing to get too excited about.)
The 2018 film, Gothic Harvest, is all about Mardi Gras and voodoo. When four college students head down to New Orleans for the party of the year, they have no idea that they’re about to get sucked into a centuries old curse. When Hope (Abbie Gayle) meets the handsome and enigmatic Gar (Ashley Hamilton, who also directed the film), she goes off with him without bothering to tell her friends where she’s going. That turns out to be a mistake because it turns out that Gar is a member of a cursed family. The family is immortal but that immortality comes with a price. Every year, they have to find and sacrifice a young woman in order to stay alive. It’s all because the family, centuries ago, ran afoul the queen of New Orleans voodoo, Marie Laveau (Janee Michelle).
Hope’s friends are concerned about her disappearance but they can’t get anyone to help them out. After all, it’s Mardi Gras and the entire city is full of people who are probably going to wake up in a strange bed with a hangover on Wednesday morning. However, Hope’s friends do eventually run into an undercover cop named Detective Hollis (Bill Moseley). Hollis has an impressive beard and brags about how his favorite band is Pantera. He seems to be a bit strange but he agrees to help the girls look for Hope.
Hope, meanwhile, has now met the cursed and immortal Boudine family and, not surprisingly, they’re an interesting group of characters. What distinguished them from other cursed immortals is that they all seem to be hate being stuck with each other but they hate the idea of dying even more. So, they keep doing what they have to do even though it makes them all miserable. The family matriarch is Griselda (Lin Shayne) while her daughter, Amelia (Sofia Mattson), is a self-styled dominatrix. And then there’s Dolly (Ciara Rizzo), who is obsessed with dolls.
Gothic Harvest is a bit of a strange viewing experience. This was Ashley Hamilton’s directorial debut and the film itself can be confusing upon first viewing. The timeline jumps back and forth, from the past to the present, and it can often be hard to keep track of just who is doing what or why. It’s hard not to feel that the film might have worked better if it had dropped the modern storyline and instead just concentrated on telling the story of how the family came to be cursed. That said, Gothic Harvest does occasionally achieve a dream-like intensity and Hamilton makes good use of New Orleans’s spooky atmosphere. This is a flawed film that doesn’t really work but I would still be interested in seeing what Hamilton directs next.
The cast is a bit of a mixed bag. Hope and her friends are not particularly memorable but Bill Moseley and Lin Shaye are both ideally cast. Moseley, in particular, appears to be having fun and there’s a great scene where he sits in a truck and recites some of the worst pick-up lines ever. Finally, Janee Michelle goes totally over the top as Marie Laveau but that’s exactly the right approach to take to the character. The Queen of New Orleans Voodoo isn’t going to be a quiet or a reserved character.
For those of you celebrating, have fun but use your common sense. If someone says that he needs to sacrifice you so that his family can continue to live forever, don’t go off with him regardless of how many beads he offers.
Through the Shattered Lens 